Chapter Text
Jesse tapped his shoes together as the scenery whizzed by outside the window. Uncle Gabe was quiet again. It was often quiet. Jesse didn’t mind the quiet so much. Things had never been very quiet.
The radio was on low and Jesse could just hear someone talking but he wasn’t paying attention and neither was Uncle Gabe.
The car slowed and they turned off onto a smaller street, and then another, until Uncle Gabe pulled in to the parking lot of a big apartment complex. It was clean and had a gate at the entrance. It probably had a pool. He liked swimming, especially in summer, but the public pools weren’t very nice.
The gates slid open and Uncle Gabe drove them into the carpark slowly. The cars inside were all shiny and new, brands that Jesse knew from car shows Dad sometimes watched and he listened to from his room, occasionally sneaking a peek from his doorway.
“I’m sorry I have to do this,” Uncle Gabe said. “But you’ll like Ana, I promise. And Fareeha will be there to play with, too. It’s just… The base obviously can’t function without me.” He gave a small laugh and shook his head.
“I’ll be okay,” Jesse said. He wouldn’t cause Ana any problems or get into trouble and Uncle Gabe would be back to get him tomorrow. He promised.
“I would’ve liked you to meet them first. They’ll look after you and if you want you can ring any time, got it?”
Jesse nodded. He had Uncle Gabe’s number in a book in his bag. He wouldn’t ring.
“Okay, champ. Let’s go.”
Jesse followed Uncle Gabe into the building past the man standing behind a polished desk who nodded to them as they passed. The elevators had shiny doors with mirrored panels on each side and when they slid open there were more mirrors inside. Jesse stepped in and hung onto the rail, staring at himself.
“You’re gonna need a haircut soon,” Uncle Gabe said and ruffled Jesse’s hair.
Jesse screwed up his nose. He hated getting his hair cut.
The elevator stopped at the eighth floor and the doors slid open to reveal the quiet hallway. There was no noise coming from neighbours or people talking outside to visitors like most of the apartment buildings Jesse was used to. The hallway was carpeted here.
They stopped at number 20 and Jesse stepped behind Uncle Gabe as he knocked on the door. There was a doorbell, but he didn’t use it.
The woman who opened the door was not what Jesse was expecting. She had long, dark hair in a braid over her shoulder, and was wearing a loose scarf over her head like Jesse had seen some women wear before.
She had an eyepatch.
Jesse stared at her. He knew he wasn’t supposed to stare.
“Gabriel, you bring me your little charge. And isn’t he sweet?” Ana looked down at Jesse and smiled. Her smile was bright and happy and Jesse leaned out past Uncle Gabe’s legs a little more.
“Thank you for taking him for the weekend. The base is on my ass. I was hoping to get off until Jesse goes to school but…”
Jesse looked up at Uncle Gabe. School wasn’t for at least another month or so. He would be going to first grade this year. Mommy wouldn’t be gone that long...would she?
Jesse furrowed his brows and looked at the carpet beneath his yellow shoes. He could feel the burning hot sting in his eyes. Mommy was supposed to be coming back soon. Uncle Gabe said so.
Uncle Gabe’s hand landed on his shoulder and Jesse jumped, cringing away until the hand was gone. Uncle Gabe didn’t make a big deal of it. He never did.
“Come inside. Fareeha has just finished her breakfast and we’re watching some cartoons.”
Ana ushered them into the apartment and closed the door behind them. It was nice and cool inside like Uncle Gabe’s home, though more cluttered. Uncle Gabe’s place was very tidy and there wasn’t much furniture or pictures, but Ana’s apartment looked...like a home. There were lots of pictures on the walls of her and a young girl with a short bob of hair. Pictures of a man and Ana, and pictures of what Jesse knew were the pyramids in Egypt. He looked around from one thing to the next as Ana led them into the main room.
There on the rug in front of the TV sat the girl in all the pictures. She was leaning forward on her knees as something happened on the TV. Jesse stayed at Uncle Gabe’s side.
“Fareeha, come say hello.”
The girl looked up. She broke into a huge smile and stumbled to her feet in her rush to come over. She was shorter than Jesse was, who was quite tall for his age his Mommy always said, and she had to be younger than him.
“Hello!” She smiled at him and stuck her hand out, like she had been shown to do by an adult or had maybe learned from TV. Jesse had never shaken someone’s hand before. When he held out his hand, Fareeha grabbed it and shook vigorously, squeezing hard enough that Jesse winced. She might be smaller than him but she was tough. He took back his bruised hand and held it against his chest.
“And how are you, young miss?” Uncle Gabe asked.
Fareeha laughed. “I’m not a young miss! I’m Pharah!”
Ana sighed and said something in a language that Jesse hadn’t heard and definitely didn’t understand. “This is her new name,” she said.
Uncle Gabe raised his eyebrow. “Pharah, huh? Well Miss Pharah, I need you to do me a special favour and look after Jesse, you hear?”
Pharah stood straight and she raised her hand and saluted Uncle Gabe. Uncle Gabe laughed and saluted her back. It was obviously a game of theirs. Jesse bit at his cheek. Maybe he and Uncle Gabe could do that, too?
“Alright, I’ve got to move. Jesse, remember you can ring any time. Be good for Ana and have fun with Fareeha, okay?”
Jesse nodded. Uncle Gabe ruffled his shaggy hair again and Ana escorted him to the door. A strange feeling settled in his belly, something heavy and pressing that tried to rise up into his throat. He gripped his bag tighter by the strap and watched as the door closed.
“You wanna watch cartoons?” Fareeha asked.
Jesse looked back at her. She was still smiling at him. She turned and gestured over to the spot on the rug she had been occupying previously. Jesse didn’t know the cartoon that was on but he sat down near her, holding his backpack in his lap.
“Uncle Gabe said I have to be really nice to you but I think I will anyway because you look fun,” Fareeha said, her eyes still glued to the TV as she spoke. “I don’t have many friends.”
“Why not?” Jesse asked quietly.
Fareeha shrugged. “Everyone is old. And I’ll make more friends at school when I go. I’m starting kindy this year!” She seemed very proud of the fact.
“I start first grade,” Jesse said.
“Are you going to stay with Gabe? Because then we can be friends.”
“I don’t know…” Jesse said. The burning prickled again at his eyes.
Fareeha had fallen asleep ages ago and Jesse was still facing the wall in the darkness. The spare bed was comfortable and it wasn’t too hot or cold but he couldn’t sleep. He hadn’t been able to forget what Uncle Gabe said.
School was just over a month away at the end of summer. His Mommy had been collecting things in a big box for him to take when he started like a new lunchbox and books and some cool pens they had got on sale. The school was a short walk from their house. It was a big grey building with steps leading up to the main doors and bars over the windows all around the front. They had walked past sometimes so Jesse could see the kids playing outside during lunch of after school.
His Mommy said she was so proud that he was going to first grade.
If he didn’t go home, would he still go to school? Maybe Uncle Gabe couldn’t send him and he would have to stay at home or with Miss Ana and Fareeha.
He slipped out of the bed and tiptoed into the hallway, leaving a snoring Fareeha behind. He froze when he saw the lounge light on. He turned to hurry back to bed but Ana’s head popped up over the couch and she spotted him.
“Is there anything wrong?” she asked, standing.
Jesse shook his head quickly and took another step back.
“You probably cannot sleep, am I correct? Strange house, and Fareeha snoring as she does. Come, come sit with me.”
Jesse looked at the couch and then back at Ana. She gestured him over. He couldn’t go back to bed now. He slunk over to her side and she had him sit on the couch.
“Wait here for one moment. I have something that will make you feel better.”
Jesse did as he was told. Uncle Gabe said he had to listen to Miss Ana and be good. Uncle Gabe was counting on him to do the right thing. He wiggled his bare feet back and forth as he waited, watching the clock pendulum swing back and forth. It was past 10.
“Here, try this. Careful, it’s hot.” Ana held out a mug for him. It wasn’t steaming but it smelled of warm milk and cinnamon, and some other spices Jesse didn’t know.
He took the mug and brought it close. It was nice to warm his hands on. He blew over the drink before taking an experimental sip.
It wasn’t like anything he’d had before. Warm and spicy, creamy and sweet.
“Here it’s just called Chai. It is a particular spice blend. Fareeha often has one when she cannot sleep. Now, is there anything you want to tell me about?”
Jesse looked up at her. She sat on the edge of the couch next to him, close enough that her knee touched his. He was very careful not to spill his drink when he shook his head.
Ana smiled and hummed. “I see. You must be feeling very out of place. It must not be easy to be away from home and everything familiar for the first time.”
Jesse didn’t say anything, but he also didn’t look up at her. The tight feeling in his tummy and chest was back.
“Gabriel has told me what happened. He is worried about you, you understand. He cares for you very much. He will do anything he is able to keep you safe and happy.”
“I want to go home,” Jesse whispered into his mug. He hadn’t felt it so strongly before. He wanted to go home, to his own house and his own bed, even if Mommy and Dad were yelling and throwing things, even if sometimes he got hit or went hungry. He wanted to go home.
Fat tears fell from his eyes and ran down his cheeks. Ana took a hanky from her pocket and brushed his cheeks gently, making soothing sounds as he cried.
“You are a very good, very brave boy. Gabriel loves you and he will care for you. You needn’t worry.”
Ana took his mug from him and placed it on the table. Jesse’s hands immediately went to wipe at his eyes, trying to stifle tears as more ran down his face.
“Mommy’s… she’s not… Mommy’s not coming home, is she?” Jesse asked and looked up at Miss Ana.
“No. Not for some time. That is why you must be brave. Gabriel is your family and you will never be alone. You are a strong boy, I can tell.”
Jesse doubled over and buried his head in his arms. Mommy wasn’t coming home. He wasn’t going home. There was no home. Dad was...dead. Mommy was in jail. There was no home.
He felt Ana’s hand on his shoulder and she was carefully rubbing his back. He couldn’t stop the tears from running down his face.