Chapter Text
Hitoshi stared at the door in front of him. It was clean and white with a shiny metallic number fastened to it. He knew this door well from the years he had visited it.
But it was hard to summon the courage to knock today.
He rocked on the balls of his feet, debating whether or not to leave. The familiar burn of shame still bit at him, reminding him of the awful things he had said and done. The last time he had seen Hizashi he had called him a coward. He had blamed him for Sasaki's escape. He had pushed aside the help and support he was trying to offer and had insulted his friendship with Aizawa.
Was there any way to come back from that?
He hoped so.
Hitoshi finally raised his hand and knocked. Faint noises sounded through the wood, growing louder every second. Before Hitoshi could think of what he was going to do next, the door swung open.
Hizashi stood in the doorway, his long hair pulled into a loose ponytail. He blinked in surprise at the sight of Hitoshi. Hitoshi swallowed and felt his hand automatically rise to rub the back of his neck. Hizashi looked every bit as nervous and confused as Hitoshi felt, but he somehow managed a polite greeting.
"Shinsou... how are you?" he asked carefully.
"Better," Hitoshi said truthfully.
He bit his lip, still not making eye contact. It was all so much harder now that he was here.
"I... I um wanted to come say sorry," he blurted out. "For the way I've been acting. I was out of line and I had no right to say those... those things to you."
He heard Hizashi shift slightly and ducked his head out of old habit.
Keep going, he urged himself. Say what you came to say.
"You were right," he admitted. "I let my hatred get out of control. If you hadn't come to help me I might have- done too much. I still almost did."
The events of Sasaki's capture flashed through his mind. The anger, the pain he caused him, the threats on his life. He had been way too close to making an irreversible mistake. Too close to becoming a villain.
"I just wanted to apologize for everything. I haven't been fair to you. I won't blame you if you don't forgive me but I had to-"
He risked a glance at Hizashi.
And what he saw froze his next words in his throat.
Hizashi was smiling at him. No, not just smiling. He was beaming. Tears were welling in his expressive eyes as he stared at Hitoshi in pure happiness and pride.
Without a word he stepped forward and folded Hitoshi into a tight embrace. It was a mighty thing, secure and comforting and warm. Hitoshi stood stunned for a moment. No one but Aizawa had ever hugged him like this before.
Like they never wanted to let go.
Like they loved him.
He felt the tension sink out of his body as he accepted Hizashi's hug. For once the loud-mouthed hero seemed to have nothing to say. They stood in the doorway for a long time, holding on to each other and learning to believe that things were going to be okay.
It wasn't going to happen overnight. There would still be bad days and loneliness and regrets.
But it was going to be okay.
Aizawa had promised and Hitoshi was finally beginning to feel it.
........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Clouds had gathered by the time Hitoshi arrived at the cemetery. A thick, muggy breeze ruffled his hair as he stepped between the small stone graves. The memorial flowers ruffled quietly as he made his way toward the secluded edge.
A humble stone grave greeted him, surrounded by old and new flowers.
Hitoshi stopped in front of it and looked for a quiet moment. Pangs of sadness and hurt still echoed through him, and he knew they would for a long time. But now there was something else too.
A muffled swell of thunder swept overhead. Hitoshi settled onto the ground, hands sinking into the long, soft grass. The few other people in the cemetery were out of earshot, and he saw a couple of them head towards the exit as a drop of rain his his face.
He turned back to the grave and began to speak.
"Hello sensei. I'm sorry it's been awhile since I visited."
He straightened a drooping flower.
"I got kind of lost. It's just been... hard to deal with this, especially because you've always been the one who's helped me through stuff in the past. Heh, it's kind of ironic that losing you made me forget what you taught me."
Raindrops began to speckle the stone in front of him. The quiet sound of rain tapped throughout the cemetery, sinking into Hitoshi's hair and clothes.
"I miss you. Sock does too. She's been pretty needy lately, so thank for that."
A wry smile twisted his mouth. The motion felt stiff and unfamiliar. But it was nice.
"I'm going to do better," he promised, eyes fixed on Aizawa's name. "I'm going to be a better person, a better hero, and a better friend. You put a lot of faith in me and I won't let you down."
Filled with resolve, he pushed himself to his feet. The rain was coming down hard now, streaming off his skin as he looked down at Aizawa's grave.
"I'll come back again soon," he said, fists clenched in determination.
"And I'm going to be someone you'll be proud of."