Chapter Text
She'll see I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love with an uptown girl
(Uptown Girl- Billy Joel)
Did it mean something to you?
Eddie and Richie sat on Bill’s deck, Eddie’s question hanging in the air between them. They both sat in silence while Richie chewed on his thumb nail.
“Go get the tape, Eddie,” He eventually whispered.
“What?”
“I said go get the tape. We’re gonna listen to it.”
“Richie you didn’t answer my question.”
“I will. Just get the tape first.” Richie reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a walkman and a pair of headphones. Eddie stood, giving Richie a long, confused look before heading inside to grab the tape from his backpack. His heart was racing again. Why wouldn’t Richie just answer his question? What if the kiss didn’t mean anything to him at all and Eddie had just ruined everything with his best friend? Richie had hardly looked at him outside. He had been so quiet. Richie was almost never quiet. Even on those nights he snuck into Eddie’s room he was constantly talking or snoring. He quickly grabbed the tape, before sitting down next to Richie again, and pulling Richie’s jacket back over his shoulders.
“I still don’t know why you can’t just answer me Richie. You’re such a fucking drama queen.” Eddie’s voice came out strained and tense. Even with Richie’s jacket, he was shivering. Richie gently put a hand on his cheek, coaxing Eddie to look at him again.
“Eddie would you just shut up and listen? It’ll all make sense soon I promise.”
Eddie huffed. He was cold and frustrated. Richie was being an asshole. Richie was keeping secrets. And most importantly was the closest they’ve ever been to Richie ignoring him and Eddie hated it. He settles in to an annoyed silence as Richie messes with the buttons to get the tape player open.
“Aren’t you cold?” he turned to Richie who was slipping the tape into the walkman.
“I’m fine Eds. Just listen, ok?” he passed Eddie a headphone and put the other one in his own ear. Eddie leaned against the railing, listening to the first few notes of the first song started to play. He scrunched his nose up in confusion and then bit his lip to keep from laughing.
“Uptown Girl? Richie what the hell…”
“Eddie. Listen.” Richie looked completely serious and that was enough for Eddie to shut his mouth for the time being. Eddie listened.
She'll see I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love with an uptown girl
Eddie felt his heart speed up again, galloping off into the sunset without any concern for his physical health. His mind was racing but the only word he could seem to find was, “Richie.”
“Billy Joel said it best, Eds.”
“Don’t call me Eds.” he choked out, suddenly realizing that he was crying. His heart soared as he grinned at Richie, taking his hand.
“Ask me again Eds.” Richie grinned, as he leaned in, “Ask me if it meant something to me.”
Eddie laughed softly, wiping his eyes with his free hand, “Did it mean anything to you?”
“Everything.” Richie smiled as he closed the gap. They were kissing again, as Richie’s free hand came up to cup Eddie’s cheek and Eddie gripped Richie’s knee. Chapped lips slid against smooth ones, as the first song faded out and the second one faded in
There's a boy I know, he's the one I dream of
Looks into my eyes, takes me to the clouds above
Ooh I lose control, can't seem to get enough
When I wake from dreaming, tell me is it really love
The kiss broke as Eddie snorted out a laugh, “You have got to be kidding Tozier.”
“It was my pining song! Bev was ready to kill me if she had to deal with another afternoon of me listening to it.” Richie blushed a little and gave him a goofy smile, “I just...made a tape of songs that made me think of you.”
Despite the cold, Eddie felt like he was on the sun. Richie Tozier was in love with him. Richie Tozier, his best friend, was in love with him and had sat down and spent the time to make him this tape. Richie was looking at him like he had never seen something more beautiful than Eddie. He felt like could do anything. He settled for leaning in and kissing Richie again.
“What was that for?” Richie asked as the broke a part, a goofy smile still on his face.
Eddie shrugged, “Because I can.” he smiled, squeezing Richie’s hand, “Can we listen to the rest of the tape inside?” He shivered a little. Richie nodded, pausing the tape and helping Eddie to his feet.
They stumbled inside as quietly as possible, fingers still linked together. They lay back down on the pile of pillows, each of them grabbing a headphone. Eddie smiled a little as Richie ran his thumb over his cheek. Eddie turned his head, kissing Richie’s wrist. They lay there quietly for a moment, listening to the static from the headphones.
“You meant it?’ Richie whispered.
“Meant what?”
“The kiss. That you liked the tape. All of this.” Richie pressed little kisses to Eddie’s fingers.
“You sound nervous.” Eddie smiled a little, tracing his thumb over his hand.
“I am.” Richie laughed nervously. Eddie kissed him softly. When he pulled back, Richie looked like he was trying not to cry.
“Oh Rich. Oh no please don’t cry. Of course I meant it. I love this. Richie I’ve wanted to be with you since we were 13.” He held his face, gently wiping the tears away.
“I wanted this for so long Eds…”
“Me too Rich. And don’t call me Eds.” he smiled, brushing the last of Richie’s tears away. The lay in silence again for a few minutes, as they stared into each other’s eyes.
“Wanna hear the next one?” Richie whispered. Eddie nodded, linking their pinkies. Richie kissed his forehead and hit play.
The first few notes of Heaven is a Place On Earth pulsed through the headphones and Eddie giggled, “Belinda Carlisle?” he kissed him happily, “and people say I’m the super gay one.” he teased.
“Belinda Carlisle is a fucking icon and you know you love her.” Richie dug his fingers into Eddie’s side tickling him. Eddie squeaked and tried to shove him off.
“Richie no! We’re gonna wake everyone up.” he laughed, squirming as Richie rolled on top of him, pinning him flat on his back.
When you walk into the room
You pull me close and we start to move
And we're spinning with the stars above
And you lift me up in a wave of love
Eddie giggled again as Richie pressed his lips to his again. God Eddie could get used to this. Kissing Richie was so much better than he could have ever imagined. Richie kissed like him like he needed him to live. He could feel every feeling in every kiss. Richie kissed him like he was a breath of fresh air after drowning.
Richie pulled away from Eddie’s lips to kiss all over his face. A kiss on his nose, another to his cheek, another to his jawline, another on his neck. Richie lingers there for a moment, lips resting on Eddie’s neck, feeling his pulse flutter under his skin. This is real. The thought came out of nowhere and filled him with a wave of emotion. He was so in love with Eddie. More than he ever thought he could be in love with anyone He lay back down tugging Eddie closer and nuzzling his neck. Eddie smiled and allowed himself to be squished. Fuck he was going to cry again. He hide his face in Eddie’s neck, and let himself get lost in his feelings for a moment.
“Hey Eddie?” Richie mumbled, face still buried in his neck.
“Yeah?”
“Do you wanna be my boyfriend?” Richie pulled back so he was looking at the small brown-eyed boy.
Eddie grinned, launching forward to kiss Richie, “Yes. God yes Richie of course I will.”
I need a man who'll take a chance
On a love that burns hot enough to last
“Richie this is so incredibly gay. We’re only four songs in and you’ve already played two Whitney Houston songs and a Belinda Carlisle.”
“I’m showing my love for you Eddie-Spaghetti. So yes this is incredibly gay.” Richie deadpanned and Eddie lay his head on his chest, a stupid grin on his face.
“So fucking gay.”
“Super gay.”
“The gayest gays.” Eddie kissed Richie’s chest sleepily.
“You getting sleepy, baby?” Richie whispered, playing with his hair.
Eddie nodded, “Can we finish the tape first?”
“Even if you fall asleep in the middle?” Richie continued to play with his hair, other hand holding his hip. Eddie nodded, relaxing at his touch. The tape continued to play, the next song fading in.
Eddie giggled at Let’s Hear it for the Boy, teasing Richie about loving 80s pop female artists. Richie rolled his eyes and mumbled about “guilty pleasure music” and “songs that he remind him of Eddie.” As Let’s Hear it for the Boy rolled into Africa, Eddie had his face in Richie’s chest, blushing furiously.
“I can’t believe you! You picked this song?” he mumbled into his chest.
“Of course I did. It was playing that night we danced for the first time.”
“If you can call it dancing! You flailed around Mike’s barn and puked in the in the hay bale, idiot.”
“Yeah but once you dragged me out of the hay bale, I dragged you on to the table and we did a dramatic rendition of Africa and we were dancing. It was one of my favorite memories of last summer.” Richie grinned, remembering him and Eddie swaying on the table, singing loudly and off key.
“It’s really one of your favorite memories?”
Richie squeezed him, “Of course it is Eddie. All of my favorite memories are with you.”
“What about that time when you hooked up with Britney Anderson?” Eddie raised his eyebrows and smirked, clearly teasing his lankey boyfriend.
“Believe me hooking up with Britney Anderson was not a happy memory.” Richie made a face before leaning in, “You’re a way better kisser.” he kissed him again, as Eddie turned an alarming shade of red and kissed him back.
Several songs passed and they were still kissing. Richie kissed down Eddie’s neck, sucking gently. Eddie squirmed as a soft sigh escaped his lips.
“Richie. Richie wait.” he pushed on his shoulders, “My mom. She’ll see.”
“Eddie as much as I love your mom please stop talking about her.” Richie mumbled, still kissing his neck, as a smile started to form on his lips. Eddie gripped his shoulder. He seemed torn between pulling Richie closer and pushing him away.
“Richie she’ll see!” Eddie whimpered softly, as Girls Just Wanna Have Fun suddenly burst through the speakers.
I come home in the morning light
My mother says when you gonna live your life right
Oh mother dear we're not the fortunate ones
And girls they wanna have fun
Oh girls just want to have fun
Eddie stilled in Richie’s arms, “How did you know I like this song?”
“Uh...Bev told me you like it.” Richie’s eyebrows knit together in confusion, “You do like it right?”
Eddie nodded enthusiastically, “Richie this is my favorite song. Bev played it for me the first time I snuck out and went to her house for a sleepover. It was sort of my rebellion anthem.” He smiled a little, “It’s my favorite song, Richie.” he grinned, kissing his cheek and snuggling into his arms once again relaxed and happy.
“This is the last song on side a. Side b is really sappy. You might cry.” Richie smirked slightly as Eddie laughed softly.
“You’re the sappy mother fucker in this relationship.”
“Eddie language. I don’t fuck your mother anymore.” Richie grinned as Eddie shrieked indignantly and punched his arm.
“Beep beep dumbass!” Eddie shoved him playfully and both boys dissolved into another set of giggles. Stan stirred, mumbling something before cracking an eye open and looking over at Eddie and Richie. He smirked slightly as he lifted his head from Bill’s chest.
“Can you two shut the hell up?”
Eddie giggled again, “Sorry Stan.” he whispered as Richie continued to drop kisses all over his face.
Stan smiled, “Losers.” he whispered, laying back down and drifting off.
Richie flipped the tape and pulled Eddie back onto his chest. They made it through It’s Raining Men (Eddie had snorted and kissed Richie’s cheek), Should I Stay or Should I Go, Richie blushing madly and tripping over his words and trying to explain that he had put it on there in a fit of frustration when he thought Eddie wasn’t into him, and Footloose, before there were any tears. When What I Like About You, started playing Eddie laughed. Richie ruffled his hair letting out a small laugh of his own.
“This is where it starts to get sappy.” Richie whispered, “The last three songs are definitely going to make you cry. I might cry.” he smiled again and kissed his neck again, lacing their fingers together. Eddie smiled a little and kissed his forehead.
“What are the next three songs?” He whispered running his fingers through Richie’s messy curls.
Richie smiled and squeezed him a little tighter, “Baby, if I told you that it wouldn’t be a surprise.” Eddie blushed at the nickname.
Richie calling him baby made his heart feel like it was going to explode. Richie said it so easily. It fell over his tongue like and made Eddie feel like his heart was made of hot chocolate and melted chocolate chips and fourth of July fireworks. Richie calling him baby made him feel loved. Loved in a way that no one ever loved him before.
His mom’s brand of love was smothering him. Hiding him in a tower and never letting him live his own life. Keeping him captive with fake illnesses. She convinced him he was sick for so long, he started to believe it. She trapped him and a cycle of lies and manipulation. In health class, they had learned about abusive relationships. How someone doesn’t have to physically hurt you in order to hurt you. In his psychology intro class he had learned about Munchausen's syndrome. That night he had cried in Richie’s arms and cried.
She hated everything he was. She hated who he was becoming. She hated his friends, she hated that he was graduating, she hated that he was trying to escape, and she hated Richie more than anything. She hated his dirty mouth and his loud voice, his messy clothes, his dirty shoes, and the fact that he was corrupting her sweet innocent son.
Richie was a love that was free. Richie was sneaking out of his house in the middle of the night to see Rocky Horror Picture Show, dancing on the table in Mike’s barn, hiding under his covers in the middle of the night telling stories. Richie was racing through the streets of Derry on a motorcycle, baking cookies at three in the morning at Bev’s. His kind of love was eating cold pizza in their boxers because a heat wave has made it unbearable to do anything else. Richie’s love was kissing him on Bill’s back porch while their friend’s slept in the living room. Richie’s love was making a mixtape and sharing headphones like it’s the most romantic thing in the world. Richie made Eddie feel like, for the first time in his life, he was free to be himself. He never pressured him or judged him. Richie’s love was everything he ever wanted to have.
Standing in the sunlight laughing
Hide behind a rainbow's wall
Slipping and a-sliding
All along the waterfall
With you, my brown-eyed girl
You, my brown-eyed girl
Fuck, Richie was right. He is going to cry.
“Brown-eyed girl?” he whispered, tears already forming. Richie shrugged like it was obvious, a lazy smile on his face.
“It was the first song I played after I learned guitar. And it makes me think of you. You’re my brown-eyed sweetheart. You make me happy. Brown-eyes...I love them. Love yours.” he tucked Eddie’s hair back behind his ear, “I love that your hair is getting longer. It’s nice to play with. It’s soft.” He whispered. Eddie snuggled into his chest, happy tears rolling down his face.
I've got sunshine on a cloudy day
When it's cold outside I've got the month of May
Well I guess you'd say
What can make me feel this way?
Now Eddie was full on crying, “Oh my god you fucking sap.” he laughed a little, wiping the tears away. Richie kissed his shoulder, and pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around him again.
“Come on. I couldn’t not choose this song. It’s one of the best love songs on the planet.”
“Fuck you for making me cry asshole.” he mumbled into Richie’s chest. Richie laughed softly and sat up, pulling Eddie with him.
“What are you doing?” Eddie looked up curiously as Richie pulled him into the kitchen.
“I want something special for the last song.” Richie pulled him closer and wrapped his arms around his waist.
When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No, I won't be afraid
Oh, I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand
Stand by me
Eddie gasped and felt more tears flow from his eyes. Richie started singing along quietly, tears falling from his eyes too, as they swayed together in the kitchen.
So darlin', darlin'
Stand by me, oh, stand by me
Oh, stand, stand by me
Stand by me
If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
Or the mountain should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry
No, I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand
Stand by me
Eddie stood on his tip-toes and kissed him, still swaying to the music, “Richie I...god I don’t even know what to say anymore.” He let out another soft laugh mixed with a sob, “God Richie…” He kissed him again. Richie practically lifted him off the ground as they kissed, still swaying in slow circles in the kitchen. Eddie wrapped his arms around his neck, eyes fluttering shut as the tape ended. They stayed like that, tears still falling, Eddie in Richie’s arms as they kissed.
“We should stop spinning…” Eddie murmured softly as he pulled away.
“We’re not spinning Eds.” Richie whispered, smirk slowly spreading a across his face, tears finally stopping. Eddie blinked slowly and then blushed.
“Guess kissing you just makes me dizzy.” Eddie grinned kissing him again as the two of them wandered back into the living room. They lay back down and snuggled together, as Richie tucked the walkman into Eddie’s bag. Eddie pulled the blanket back over them and looked at the clock on the T.V box.
“It’s late.” he whispered. Richie nodded, rubbing his back gently as he started to drift off.
Eddie kissed his cheek, “Wanna know what I wished for?”
“Won’t come true if you tell me.” Richie mumbled eyes already closing.
Eddie grinned, “It already did.”
“What?”
“I wished for you Rich...I have been for the last five years.” he whispered.
Richie smiled, eyes still closed, “Eds...you’re too much for me.” he whispered.
Eddie grinned, “Guess you’ll just have to get used to it.”