Chapter Text
He doesn’t want to love him.
He’s never wanted to love him, or care about him, or be close to him in anyway, and sometimes Katsuki thinks that feeling might be mutual. After all, why would Izuku want to be so attached to someone like him? It’s likely that he’s just as unhappy to be in the position that he’s in right, in love with someone that he shouldn’t be, stuck with the same person he’s been stuck with for all of his life, practically.
Or maybe Izuku is just fine the way things are, and maybe he is far better at this than Katsuki will ever be. Maybe it doesn’t hurt him so much, maybe nothing hurts him as much, maybe Katsuki is the only one who hurts, and maybe he needs to pull back, before he lets himself get too close. It all hurts , in a way that he doesn’t understand, and he needs to pull back, but he can’t.
It hurts to be close to Izuku now, and yet he only starts to feel better when he’s able to hold him and to kiss him, and express the feelings that hurt him so much.