Chapter Text
Chapter Five
It was hard. It probably was the hardest thing Stiles ever had to do in his life and he didn’t want to do it. He just wanted to run away from his problems, his friends and family and pretend he was perfectly fine. That was his plan.
A million options ran through his mind while he was cooped up in bed, being guarded by several watchdogs that he didn’t want to have around his bed.
He tried to ignore them at first, just like he tried to ignore the fact he was starving himself. When he first woke up after passing out in Derek’s arms, he found himself surrounded alone in Derek’s bedroom. He remembered that there were people in the room before, people who probably loved him the most in the whole world.
They were not there at first and he thought he was doing just fine and could slide out of bed, get his clothes on and go home. It didn’t work out that way. As soon as he moved, something pulled him back to the bed. He didn’t even get why at first, since he was too tired and too dizzy to care.
Then he saw what was literally tying him down. Melissa had inserted an IV to push fluids and food into him. The bags were hooked up on a pole next to the bed. Thank fuck he was asleep for that, or he would have passed out again.
Stiles saw the two bags with fluids when he woke up and wondered what the hell they were doing there, until he realized they were dripping fluids into his arm. He freaked out at the sight of the tube and needle stuck in his body and instinctively tried to get rid of it.
He already succeeded in removing the tape and was just about to pull the needle out, when Derek stormed into the bedroom and stopped him by placing two firm hands on him.
“Don’t,” the wolf growled. “Don’t you dare pull the needle out, Stiles.”
Frantically and shocked by the wolf’s reaction, Stiles did the exact opposite of course. He fought with all his might against Derek, only to be pushed down on the bed by two extra hands, this time Scott’s, who had tears in his eyes and looked at him with such sorrow that it broke Stiles’ heart.
So they really knew, Stiles thought shocked. They all know that he’s fucked up and messed up and just wants to stop the pain.
“Stiles, please,” Scott pleaded. “Please don’t do this to yourself. We need you, man. Please, Stiles.”
The tears that flowed freely from Scott’s eyes stopped Stiles from fighting. By the time Melissa and his dad entered the room, he had calmed down enough to allow Melissa to replace the tape that held the IV in place.
All fight had left him. Stiles felt like the world collapsed on top of him and there was nothing he could do about it. He leaned passively back in bed and closed his eyes, while tears escaped and dripped on his clothes.
“Oh kiddo,” his dad spoke, gently stroking through his damp hair. “Why won’t you tell us what’s going on?”
Stiles’ heart broke for the second time, but he felt himself unable to speak, so he turned his head away from them and refused to look at them again. Finally, he fell asleep like that. His breathing evened out and his body relaxed enough to pass out again.
From that moment on, there was always someone by the bed. He was never left alone again. His family and friends had taken turns watching him, while pretending they weren’t. They had books, his laptop, tablet or phone, movies and comics, all scattered around the room. Stiles looked at them impassively and wondered if he would ever feel normal again to even look at them. He had never been so hollow.
They talked about him of course.
“We need to get professional help.”
“He can’t live without food.”
“We need to get him to eat.”
“We need to take him to the hospital.”
Every single time, Derek said no. The sheriff couldn’t make sane decisions since he was too upset and too tired and too busy to take the lead. He left that to Derek. And Derek said no.
A day later, Stiles still hadn’t eaten and everyone felt frustrated. The IV was still pushing fluids and food into him, but Melissa had told them this couldn’t last forever. Stiles was still losing weight at a dramatic rate and she would make the call to move him to a medical facility within the day if he didn’t start eating.
Stiles knew, but he didn’t care. He wanted them to move him so he wouldn’t be a burden to them anymore. He wanted them to forget about him, so he could die in peace.
Stiles had decided it was time to die. He didn’t feel like he belonged anymore. He was a nuisance. A kid who had been attacked by Rogue wolves, by kanima’s, by nogitsune’s and by so many creatures of the night who had it out for him. He was tired, exhausted and upset. He dreamt of Donovan and tiny pins that no longer held scaffold and Theo trying to get to him and the Desert Wolf attacking him and shards of glass in his chest and … he couldn’t go on. It was enough. He’d had enough.
The only thing still keeping him alive, were the faces of his father, his friends and Derek. Always Derek. He was the only one he held onto now. The one who got him. But it didn’t seem enough as long as he lived in this hell.
He woke up at night from a blood-filled nightmare with a throat so dry it hurt even more than the claws of that Rogue. He immediately knew Derek was sitting in the dark, watching him. The wolf stood as soon as he groaned and tried to find sleep again, since sleep was the only moment anyone ever left him alone anymore. Better to sleep and to be left alone.
“Stiles, I know you’re awake.”
“Fuck off.” The words escaped Stiles’ throat and mouth before he could even think about it, but he knew he meant it. It was all Derek’s fault after all.
“Do you want me to?”
“Yes.”
“Really?” Derek’s voice stayed the same passive, but he could feel the hurt in it.
“No.” Stiles swallowed away bile and the disgusting taste he had for days now and found himself turning to the wolf.
Derek moved closer with a small smile on his face, as if Stiles had given him the world.
“Do you want to leave?”
“What?” Stiles looked surprised.
“Right now. Do you want to leave?”
“This bed? Hell yeah.”
“Not just this bed. Everything, Stiles. This hell, this town, these creatures and dangers. Do you want to leave it behind?”
Stiles’ weary mind didn’t even have to think about that option. As soon as Derek popped the question, he knew the answer. He just never thought he would get asked.
“Yes.”
“May I be the one to take you?”
Again, Stiles looked at the man in shock. Derek had changed so much. He was caring, gentle and sweet. He was the Derek Stiles had hoped for, so long ago. The man he had dreamt of whenever there were no monsters in his nightmares.
“Yes.”
Derek smiled, took another step forward and stroked through Stiles’ hair. Then he leaned into him and softly kissed him on his chapped lips. When he let go, Stiles felt like he had died and gone to heaven.
“Derek?”
“Yeah, Stiles?”
“Do you still make that fantastic vegetable soup from your mom’s recipe?”
“I do.”
“Would you make that for me?”
“I already did,” Derek smiled, before he left the room.
Stiles leaned back in the pillows and looked up at the IV. It was time, he thought. Time to make a change. He pulled at the tape and needle until it slid out of his arm. He pushed down on to stop the bleeding. Then he slowly moved his legs and feet out of the bed, until they touched the floor. He stood insecure on his legs, but they held up his weight.
Stiles slowly shuffled towards the kitchen, using the pole as a support. Derek was heating the soup. He didn’t turn around when Stiles came in and sat down gingerly on a chair. He just took out a bowl and filled it up to the brim with soup, adding extra vegetables to make sure.
Stiles’ hand shook when he reached for the spoon and slowly started eating. When his dad walked in shortly after, he didn’t react or comment. He sat down with a bowl in front of him and joined his son, not caring that his salty tears added extra flavor to the soup.
Derek just smiled, left the room and booked three tickets for New York. The sheriff would come too.
The End