Chapter Text
Ernol didn’t need to have a soulmate to know that they were bullshit.
Oh, sure, his parents told him that he was just being rebellious. Arvon said he was being immature. Haron said he was jealous.
But, no. He rather liked living without some kind of predestined force telling you “that’s the one,” without knowing the slightest thing about them. A criminal? A murderer? Didn’t matter. If they were your soulmate, and you were the unlucky sap to have the romantic kind of bond, you were screwed.
Not that Haron ever listened. He’d never met his soulmate, but the way he talked about Alenca – “Alenca Goffil, do you know her?” as Haron was oh-so-fond of asking – you’d think she’d single-handedly saved a horde of priceless artifacts from a crowd of rampaging toddlers, or that the sun shined pure heavenly light on her and that flowers sprouted where she walked.
With all that, it was pretty easy for Ernol to figure out that when Haron actually met Alenca, something had gone horribly wrong. His first thought was that she was dead… but he wouldn’t have met her if that was the case, and he was definitely hearing the words, “I met her, Ernol,” in the most miserable voice he’d ever heard from his brother.
Unpleasant? Irritating? Vaguely immoral? An actual criminal? Those thoughts raced through Ernol’s mind in quick succession, but then he heard a ragged laugh through the phone and all that stopped. “It was just like how they said it would be,” Haron told him, stopping only to let out a broken sigh. “Your whole world changes. Everything racing, and then it stops. There’s a pull and this feeling of everything being alright – fuck, the building could have fallen down on top of me and I wouldn’t have minded – “
“It’s the romantic kind, then?”
“Yeah,” Haron said in time with a sob, and Ernol wished he wasn’t across town, at work, so he could go to where his brother was renting a room and figure out what went wrong.
But he couldn’t go, so it had to be asked. “You said it was just like how they said it would be.”
“For me.”
Those two words said everything Haron hadn’t. Unrequited bonds weren’t exactly common… but they happened. When Ernol learned about them, he’d only thought of it as another reason to hate the entire concept. He never thought – never even dreamed – that of all the bonds that tied soulmates together, his brother would get the worst. “I – “
“She’s so – “ Haron started quickly, probably knowing what his pessimistic brother would try to say, but he stumbled over the words. “She’s on my floor – I was struggling with groceries and she stopped to help –“
“You need to move.”
“I can’t.”
Ernol clenched his free hand into a fist, hoping that his brother didn’t hear him grind his teeth out of frustration. “It’ll be better for you.”
“Says you.” Even in the throes of heartbreak, Ernol could hear his brother smile. “I’m going to go – I’ve got to put these things away – “
“Haron, you don’t need to deal with this.” Cursing himself in the back of his mind, Ernol rubbed at his face with his hand. Of course his only advice would be to run away – the one thing his brother would refuse to do.
“I’ll call you later, Ernol.”
He hung up before Ernol could get a word in edgewise. It was the last he heard of Alenca for a long while – he tried to bring it up when he saw Haron next, but all Haron did was tell him to “Stop worrying so much, Ernol, it makes you look old.”
When Calipoa called, though, he knew something was wrong. Again.
“There’s been a fire. I’m dropping Haron off at your place,” was all she said, though in the background he could hear Haron babbling near-incoherently. Not long after she showed up at his door, shouldering most of Haron’s weight, both of them reeking like smoke.
“She said she wass gooood,” Haron crooned, as Calipoa half-guided, half-shoved Haron in his brother’s direction. “But she wassn’,” he added, looking at Ernol very seriously as Ernol tried to keep him in place. “She wassn’ good, Ernie.”
The immediate disgust and revulsion he felt at the nickname was swept away when Ernol realized who Haron was talking about. For a second, Ernol thought she was dead, until Haron went on.
“And she hass to leave with that fucking asshole,” he spat, first figuratively and then literally, to punctuate his statement.
Cali watched him for a moment before looking at Ernol. “I need to go make some calls –“
“Any fucking guy – “
“ – so I’ll be back tomorrow – “
“ – and she hass to go home with fucking Laceahgah Dahrhahl!” With a grunt, Haron dropped on the sofa. Ernol took a moment to thank his cousin before closing the door (and locking it, because like hell was he risking Haron wandering out) before going over to him. Without even a word, Haron shuffled enough so Ernol could sit next to him.
“She wass so scared,” Haron slurred into a cushion, though the fabric did little to hide the glassiness of his eyes. “She wass scared and lost and she needed – she needed – “
“She needed you?” Ernol offered, but Haron sniffled and shook his head.
“She needed him. Him. I saw her, Ernie, I saw her and felt her and when he showed up it was just – just gone.” A half-sob, half-laugh, escaped him. “He went in and all that bad – all the pain wass gone. I couldn’t do that for her, Ernie. Why couldn’t I do that for her?”
At first, Ernol thought Haron was just asking as part of his ranting, but when he turned to look at his brother, tearful and lost, he realized that he wanted an answer.
“Why couldn’t it be me?”
“I – “ Ernol stopped to swallow down his hesitation. “I don’t know, Haron. I’m – I’m sorry.”
“Why – “
That was all Haron had left in him. That one word said, he let out another sob, then a yawn, and collapsed against his brother’s shoulder.
Ernol let him.
He couldn’t fix it. He couldn’t make Alenca want Haron, or love him the way Haron loved her. He couldn’t make the universe realize that it had royally fucked up, couldn’t wave a wand and make Laceaga Darhal disappear and put Haron in his place.
But Ernol could be there for him. It would have to be enough.