Chapter Text
group chat: lost my kookie, lost my kookie
jjk: hey
princejin: excuse me
princejin: where have u been
jiminie: kook!!!
myg: jungkook i love you but i have to kill you
myg: it's been 3 days
taehyungie: j e o n j u n g k o o k
jjk: can someone kick tae hyung out
taehyungie: wow
taehyungie: and no bitch im admin only i have that power
taehyungie: suck it
jjk: die
jjk: apologize to me
taehyungie: for what u coconut
jjk: pushing me away
jjk: all of u have been doing it
jjk: i know im the only one not dating anyone in “the group” or whatever but that doesnt mean u can just constantly make me the 7th wheel
jiminie: kookie :/:/
princejin: i didnt realize we were doing that kook :(
taehyungie: kookie im sorry i love u with my whole heart ur my 2nd favorite after jimin
taehyungie: u can have a threesome with me & jiminie if u want
jjk: no
taehyungie: ok ur loss
hobi: what have i walked into
myg: hi hobi
hobi: hi :)
taehyungie: everyone apologize to jungkook right now
myg: sorry
princejin: sorry jungkookie
hobi: sorry :( ily
jiminie: sorry kook (3some offer is still on the table)
joonie: apparently i'm sorry too
joonie: hi everyone
jjk: hi joon hyung
jjk: tbh now i feel bad i probably overreacted
taehyungie: let's just move on and talk about something else
jjk: okay
taehyungie: for example let's talk about how kook just said everyone besides him is intra-group dating despite the fact that yoongi hyung & hobi hyung are not dating
jjk: djakfjdj
jjk: tbh….
jjk: i completely forgot
jiminie: i mean
jiminie: @ hobi @ myg make it official bitches
myg: die
hobi: ur cute kook
jjk: welp move out of the way yoongi
jjk: hoseok hyung is mine now
jiminie: FJSKFJSKDJ
taehyungie: oh so ur into threesomes after all, just not with me and jiminie???
taehyungie: taehyung x jimin threesomes are the only threesomes worth showing up for ask literally anyone
jjk: no thanks
taehyungie: ask ur boyfriend
jjk: this conversation is over
princejin: great so i can come back now?
princejin: i can't.. think about jimin and tae having sex
taehyungie: cause it gets u too hot huh
princejin has left the chat
taehyungie: he got too hot
group chat: fuckers
myg: if any of u fucks ever mess around like that again i'll come to all of your houses and piss in your beds
myg: @ jjk @ taehyungie
jjk: piss.. in.. our beds…
jjk: hmm
jjk: someone warn hoseok hyung
taehyungie: LMAOOOO
princejin: absolutely no watersports in my group chats
princejin: i will leave town and never speak to any of u again
princejin: joon and i will elope and move to ilsan
joonie: oh?
taehyungie: oh?
princejin: this is so fucking cursed
myg: hey losers this chat is about ME and MY problems
myg: anyway
myg: i have a lot of problems
joonie: don't we all
myg: oh i'm soooo sorry that u have a nice boyfriend who would skip town with you to elope
myg: I don't have a boyfriend and the guy i want to be my boyfriend is probably gonna end up fucking jimin and tae any day now
taehyungie: well
myg: well what
taehyungie: i said i’d stop if u didn't like it!!
myg: i don't recall that conversation
jjk: where's jimin anyway
taehyungie: in his No Fun Allowed fort
jjk: inchresting
jjk: i will investigate
taehyungie: pls dont make it worse for me i wanna get laid again before i die
jjk: no worries
private chat between jjk and jiminie
jjk: why r u mad at tae
jiminie: my longest no boi ever
jiminie: let's not
jiminie: let's talk about u how is ur life
jjk: it's alright
jjk: gettin laid, can't complain
jiminie: alright that's enough
private chat between jjk and taehyungie :
jjk: he wouldn't say anything and then he distracted me with nasty sex talk
taehyungie: uh huh
jjk: i swear
taehyungie: mmhmm
jjk: he corrupted my innocence
taehyungie: i hate u
private chat between hobi and myg :
hobi: hey can u come over
hobi: gotta talk to u
myg: um yeah i guess
myg: give me 20 minutes or so
hobi: k see u then
myg: yup