Chapter Text
Connor expected hell to break loose in the next few days, and luckily, it didn’t.
It was uncomfortable and he wanted to bang his head against the wall, but it wasn’t as bad as he had pictured.
“So uhh… have you seen any of your school friends since you came back?”
“I haven’t been out of the house, dad.”
“Right.”
And then his father sipped his tea, and Connor got back to staring at the backyard from the dining room’s window.
Those were pretty much the only words they had spoken in about four days.
“What are you doing today?” He asked, hoping to finally get over the awkwardness of talking to his father.
“I’m going to a church meeting, they’re holding it in that big church next to that park you liked as a kid, remember?”
“Oh yeah, I used to sit by the swings while you were on meetings.”
He had some good memories there, since it wasn’t the church where he had grown up hating himself. Plus, kids used to be really nice in that neighborhood.
“You could come if you want.”
That seemed like a terrible idea, but since he didn’t know anybody from that church and he surely wouldn’t be getting any questions, getting out of the house for a couple of hours and eating some ice-cream from the creamery at the corner didn’t sound so bad.
“Yeah, yeah that sound okay.”
“Alright then, we leave at five.”
So now he was there, finishing off a strawberry ice-cream cone and walking through the silent halls of the church.
It was similar to every other church he had visited since he was a kid, but it had definitely changed since the last time he saw it years ago.
Everyone was in different classes, he could hear some piano music coming from the service room, kids laughing and the sound of women talking to each other accompanied by the faint smell of brownies coming from the kitchen.
It felt uncomfortably familiar.
He finally spotted a seemingly empty room and sighed, the only thing he felt like doing right now was sit down in a quiet space and text Pop-Tarts.
He turned on the light only to be surprised by a guy sitting on the back of the room.
“Oh, I’m so sorry I thought everyone was already in the meeting— Kevin?”
Kevin Price stood there, wide-eyed, dressed in everyday clothing, with an incredulous smile growing on his face.
“Well, this day keeps getting weirder.” He said, before taking a few steps and pulling Connor into an embrace.
“What— what are you doing here?”
“I should ask you the same question, this is the church I grew up in.”
“Wait, really?”
“Absolutely, don’t you just love the smell of toxic masculinity and years of internalized homophobia on this place?”
Connor laughed, burying his face on the crook of Kevin’s neck, relieved.
“Geez, I missed you.”
Kevin ruffled his hair fondly, pulling away from the embrace so he could see his face.
“You haven’t texted me lately, how are things?”
“Uncomfortable, I only followed my dad here in attempts to make things less awkward between us. And you? I thought you said you weren’t stepping into a church again.”
“Well, my little brother had piano practice and my mother thought it would be a great idea to let me bring him.”
“Right.”
“But I’m never going to service again, I hope you know that.”
“I wouldn’t expect less from you.”
They laughed silently, uncomfortably looking at the floor.
“Come on, there’s a park right around the corner.” Kevin suggested.
They sat at the swings, Connor telling Kevin about Pop-Tarts recent whereabouts and Kevin laughing at his friend’s awkwardness.
“How is Arnold doing?”
Kevin smiled.
“Good, he and Naba have been making some changes in the village, and everyone is still as fond of their leader as before.” He chuckled. “Gotswana still has maggots in his scrotum, if you were wondering.”
Connor winced.
“And… Mafala?”
“Getting worse, but still optimistic about life.”
“Good, I guess that’s what matters.”
They stayed in silence for a while, watching as the night slowly took over. Connor wanted to tell Kevin about that constant pain he felt in his heart, the one that wasn’t really physical but emotional, the one that reminded him of Uganda and screamed at him to start doing something with his life.
“Con, are you… is everything okay in your house?” Kevin asked, and his voice sounded softer, free of any sarcasm that was always lingering in his words.
“Actually, it is. It’s… awkward, but after years of thinking my parents would kick me out if I told them that I was gay I can definitely take awkward. I didn’t expect them to respect it as much as they do.” Kevin stayed silent, and Connor kept looking at the moon. “The other day I opened my mom’s computer and found an article she was reading about how to be a good LGBTQ ally.” He chuckled, turning his head to see a sad-looking Kevin.
“Kev?”
“My dad actually stopped talking to me.”
His blood ran cold.
All this time he was so worried about how his parents were reacting to even think about asking Kevin about his own experience.
“I mean… I rubbed it all over his face, I told him to fuck his religion but I guess I just didn’t expect him to say the things he did.” He looked away, uncomfortable at the thought of showing vulnerability. “I wanted to seem superior for some reason, I wanted my parents to know that their precious boy was proudly queer but… it backfired. My dad actually told me that he was glad I wouldn’t be with them in the afterlife since I wasn’t getting into heaven anymore.” He chuckled drily, rubbing his eyes in attempts to dry the few tears that had escaped. “My mother screamed at him, which is weird because in my nineteen years I’ve never seen my mom arguing with him. She told me he was just mad and he didn’t mean it but I could tell he did. He was so fucking mad at me, Con. Like I ruined my family just for liking guys.”
Connor reached out and took Kevin’s hand.
He listened to the sound of the cars passing by, thinking about all of those nights in Uganda he had spent day-dreaming about Kevin. Day-dreaming about the possibility of being happy together.
“Let’s get out of here.”
“Where do you want to go?” Kevin asked, clearly thinking it wasn’t genuine.
“I don’t know, Orlando, California… Iowa if you want, just as long as you are there.”
Kevin looked at him like he was the single most precious thing on earth.
“Wow, if you would run away to Iowa for me then you have it bad, McKinley.”
“Maybe I do.”
“You are so infatuated with me aren’t you?”
“Big ego and all.”
“Even with the tragic backstory?”
“Even with the tragic backstory.”
Kevin squeezed his hand and smiled, a silent promise of devotion.
Maybe it was the lighting, or the hormones, but Connor was pretty sure he was in love with Kevin Price.
Maybe it was the vulnerability, or the feeling of a hand against his, but Kevin was pretty sure he was in love with Connor McKinley.
"How does New York sound?" Kevin asked, and Connor could tell he meant it.