Chapter Text
Someone could have stopped him.
They could have seen how far gone in misery and loneliness he had fallen.
Yixing should have seen it during their monthly outings with his grandma. He was a doctor for Christ’s sake.
He gave him the sleeping pills that caused this, this was his fault.
Chanyeol didn’t mean to take so many sleeping pills. He really didn’t, he just wanted the pain to go away long enough to sleep.
He didn’t want to die, he just wanted it to stop.
Can anyone ever understand that without making him feel like he’s crazy?
November 30th, 2023
"Yixing are you still coming this weekend?" Minseok asked as Yixing looked over Chanyeols chart. Minseok had seen the chart when he first answered the video chat but didn't know it was Chanyeols.
"Ge, I think it's time you came home to Chanyeol and for the café," Yixing said moving his eyes back and forth from the tablet screen where the video chat was happening to the papers telling him everything the E.R doctor had found out about Chanyeols condition.
"Why?" Minseok had asked as he looked away from the screen. Yixing knew someone had just entered Jacksons studio "Luhan told me Chanyeol is doing great in school and Sehun is making sure the café won't fail. Both are doing great, aren't they?" Yixing's frown deepened, that means that Luhan hadn't noticed Chanyeol cutting or the fact that he only weighed about 100 pounds either.
"Minseok, when is the last time Luhan told you Chanyeol is, okay? I mean like mentally and physically okay. Not just in school."
"Now that I think about it he hasn't really said anything other than school," Minseok said moving to put down his coffee cup. "He's okay right?" he asked as he noticed finally looking at Yixing and noticed that he isn't smiling like he normally was. "What's the matter Yixing? Is Chanyeol okay?"
"Chanyeol is in the hospital for a 72-hour suicidal watch Ge," Yixing said watching as Minseok's body tensed. "He was admitted last night because of an overdose of sleeping medication I prescribed him a few months ago."
"What... What do you mean on suicide watch? He isn't suicidal Yixing!" Minseok snapped glaring at the screen and then towards the lady that told him to quiet down. "I know him more than anyone else and I know he wouldn't do that. Not after Dongjoon. Why did you give him the pills without my permission? Don't you need a guardian to sign the paperwork to give a minor medication?"
"Minseok, you've been gone for almost 3 years," Yixing said moving to look up at the boy in the hospital bed and then back at his screen. "I don't think you know him as well as you use to. He's a teenager now and he has a lot going on. He's been sexually active, he's drinking and doing drugs. He is doing so well in school, but he isn't taking care of himself. Two months ago, he was admitted to the hospital because of exhaustion and dehydration, and when I looked him over I could tell he hasn't gotten much sleep. He told me he hasn't been able to sleep so I gave him a prescription for some sleeping pills. Luhan is his guardian until you get back and he faxed over the signed papers. The pills weren't as strong as they could have been. He hasn't woken up, so I can't tell you if he really tried to kill himself or if he accidentally took many pills." Yixing said looking back at the chart and sighing.
"The ER doctor said he needed to be on suicide watch until we have all the facts. He has multiple reasons for this. One is because he overdosed on pills, and two is because of the scars and the cuts he has on his leg and his hips. The last reason is that he doesn't weigh what he should to his height and age range. He thinks he might have an eating disorder too. I can't go over another doctor's head if I don't know the full story. Especially not with all of his evidence showing what he says could be true." Yixing snapped not realizing he was talking too loudly until Chanyeol whimpered.
"All I know is that you need to come home and help him. He isn't doing as well as he makes everyone believe. I can tell just by looking at him." he whispered.
"Let... Let me see him please," Minseok said frowning at the camera. Yixing sighed and moved to the front camera on his tablet facing Chanyeols sleeping form. He was covered with a blanket and when Minseok got a closer look he snapped.
"Why the hell is he strapped to the bed!?" He yelled shocking Yixing and causing him to almost drop his tablet onto the floor.
"Suicide Watch recommends it Minseok. You know that more than anyone. Chanyeol hasn't woken up to tell us whether he meant to kill himself. And until he does the restraints are mandatory."
"Tell me what happens to him please Xing?"
"I don't know everything all I know is his friends Jongin and Taemin went to the apartment because he missed school and wasn't answering his phone. When he wouldn't open the door they unlocked the door, went in, and found him passed out in the bathroom. They called an ambulance when they found the pill bottle almost empty. The ER doctors pumped his stomach, called me, and admitted him to my floor of the hospital. He isn't 18 yet so they thought he'd feel more comfortable on the pediatric floor. The only condition he had was that I make sure to restrain him onto the bed in case he tries again. Now I'm waiting. I've had enough time to do my rounds, get breakfast and video call you. If he doesn't wake up by tonight they want to do an MRI and see if everything is okay with his brain."
"Okay, okay I'll be home within the next week. I need to work something out with Jackson and then I'll leave. Tell Luhan and Sehun not to say anything I want it to be a surprise."
“Minseok why’d you leave him in the first place? You never told any of us a reason just that Jackson needed some help.” Yixing asked as he watched the man on the screen frown and look away from the screen.
Everyone knew that Jackson and he weren’t serious. It was proved because they both still see other people. Everyone also knew that Jackson was in love with his ex but after he was forced to retire from professional dancing, he got into his head and couldn’t get out of his own head and pushed his boyfriend away. He moved across the world to get away from him.
He doesn’t even know if Jackson knows that BamBam retired from dancing and refuses to even step foot into the studio now.
During the silence, Yixing was about to hang up when Minseok finally sighed.
"You were worried you wouldn't be able to hold, back, weren't you?"
“I raised him,” Minseok said moving to take another sip of his coffee. “I raised him and I… I didn’t really want to you know. I didn’t mind being the fun uncle or spending time with him but after him being there 24/7 and never being able to do what I wanted it got too much. Then he started to go through puberty and he… he started asking all these questions that I couldn’t answer anymore. I didn’t want any kids to begin with, but I loved him Yixing. I loved him so much that I needed to leave before I started to resent him. After everything that happened with Dongjoon, and his sister just made me want to run too. Chanyeol would continuously ask questions about them, and I just wanted to move on. I know now after being away that he was hurting just as much as I was but being there and being constantly reminded, I couldn’t see it. Maybe that’s why I didn’t stay in touch with him and just gave him as much money as I could so he wouldn’t be hurt by me leaving.”
"Minseok," Yixing whispered as he watched his friend fight the battle he has been going through for the past few years. The battle he caused by leaving and not coping the way he should’ve with their loss. “Dongjoon was just in a place in his life where he felt stuck and couldn’t get out of it. There wasn’t anything you or Chanyeol could have done to make it better. Not in the way that you wish you could’ve. He needed more help than that.”
“I know that” Minseok snapped and then took a deep breath. “I know that now but I didn’t at the time. I didn’t know how much I didn’t want to make decisions for other people after that, that I ended up hurting the one person I love more than anything.”
“You still have time Minseok,” Minseok nodded.
"I'll be back this weekend okay," Minseok said whipping the tears away. "P... Please take care of him until then?" once Yixing nodded Minseok ended the call and everything went silent.
The only thing that was heard in the room was the machines beeping to make sure Chanyeol was okay. He was still breathing, and his heart was doing fine. Yixing moved his chair a little closer to the bed and laid his hand over Chanyeols.
"I don't know if you did this on purpose or if you were just trying to sleep. I need you to be okay Yeol. Minseok will never be the same if you aren't. I know that he left and how you felt when he left, but I hope you can forgive him and you both can help each other heal." Yixing said laying back in his chair and just watching as Chanyeols chest went up and down.
4 Hours Later
Chanyeol slowly opened his eyes and quickly shut them when he saw the bright light. He was about to voice out his discomfort when a hand was placed on his shoulder.
"Chanyeol you're finally awake." the person said, and he recognized him as Yixing. "I was so worried we had lost you for good."
"Y... Yixing-Ge, where am I?" he croaked and finally opened his eyes to show the boring white walls of the hospital he knew too well.
"You overdosed on the sleeping pills I gave you a few months ago. Your friends called the police and they brought you here." Yixing said moving to give him a glass of water.
"I... I overdosed. I only took two pills though." Chanyeol said as he finished the water and looked at Yixing in horror.
"Chanyeol the E.R. doctors pumped over 20 pills from your stomach. That was enough to make you pass out and if your friends hadn't found you when they did you would've died. I know you know how dangerous that could be."
"I know, but I swear I didn't do it on purpose. I just wanted to sleep. I don't remember anything after taking the two. Did I really overdose?"
"Yes, Chanyeol. The doctor put you on suicide watch. They let me take the restraints off about an hour ago to make sure your arms didn't bruise."
"I didn't try to kill myself Yixing! I promise you I didn't." Yixing leaned over and hugged Chanyeol as best as he could. He only pulled away when the head doctor came into the room with a nurse.
"Dr. Zhang I was notified that the suicide boy is awake. Did you talk to him?"
"Yes sir, I did, and he doesn't remember taking more than two of the pills. Meaning he didn't try to commit suicide and should be allowed to stay off the restraints and off the suicide watch."
"Okay good. Now mister Park will be able to leave in a few days if the tests come back okay. Keep me updated please."
"Yes, sir," Yixing said as the nurse set up another IV bag and then left the room. He looked at Chanyeol and sighed. "Listen to me Chanyeol, your release is going to have some conditions okay," Yixing said moving to sit on the bed next to him. Chanyeol nodded and looked down at his arms.
"Number 1, you will come to the hospital with your guardian once a week starting Monday and be checked for any self-harming signs. That means the cutting." Chanyeol looked up at Yixing in pain, but he could tell that Chanyeol was silently asking for help and he was going to give it to him any way he could. “How long have you been cutting?"
"March 2021. I was crying and laying in the bathroom when I scratched my leg on something and after that, I just kept hurting myself. I couldn't control it."
"Okay, okay we will come up with ways to help you okay? Number 2, I am going to give you a different sleeping pill and an anxiety pill, and no matter what you only take one of each. Luhan is going to stop by every night to count them. I trust you, but I need to make sure everyone trusts you. Is that going to be a problem?"
"Can my friends count them instead, please? I don’t really see Luhan anymore unless he brings groceries. I promise I didn't do this on purpose."
“Give me their numbers and I’ll see what I can set up, Step number 3, I’m going to have someone I know to come over and make your lunches for school, and I need you to eat them. At least for the next few weeks. You’re way underweight and I’m worried it’ll damage your body. Step number 4 please… please stop drinking and taking random drugs. You have so much potential and you’re so smart. Please Chanyeol,” Yixing said making Chanyeol look at him and he saw the way Chanyeols eyes glazed over with tears.
"I... I'm not worthless! I promise I'm not." He cried into Yixing's chest as Yixing held him tight.
"I know sweetie. I promise you we all know that."
"W... Why doesn't a... anyone want me?" he cried trying to control his sobs and failing. "My p... parents didn't want me. M... Minseok didn't want me e... either." Chanyeol cried. "I... I'm not w... worthless. Why... why don't they want me." Yixing just sat there and hugged the crying boy. He knew why Minseok left, and it wasn’t his place to tell Chanyeol. He couldn't speak about his parents even though his mother was his step-sister. She had left and had more children with the same man and they never looked back or even tried to reach out for Chanyeol. He could never forgive that. He will be the first to admit that he didn't get to spend as much time as possible with him and he had let school and work get in the way, but he never thought that Chanyeol would feel this abandoned.
"I promise sweetie. You are not worthless. We will show you that for the rest of our lives to make up for this. I am so sorry."
Chanyeol eventually fell asleep but refused to let go of Yixing and Yixing couldn't help but want to stay with him.
End of Chapter 3
Answers
1. Chanyeol doesn't have an eating disorder, but because of his fast metabolism and the fact that he doesn't eat as much as he needs to, he doesn't gain any weight and then since he is in basketball he stays the same.
2. Yixing's father married Chanyeols mothers mother when they were both teenagers and they lived next door to Minseok and his family.
3.Yixing was in medical school when his sister left Chanyeol with Minseok and took off to the states. He has always been there for Chanyeol, but with work, he didn't realize that he was depressed or lonely.