Chapter Text
Tony was right where Bucky had left him, curled up on the window seat with his tablet cradled protectively on his lap. Bucky was cautious with his approach. He didn’t begrudge Tony for having told him to get out; when things got bad Bucky was known for hovering, and sometimes Tony could abide that and sometimes he couldn’t. But he also didn’t want Tony to get angry and ask him to leave again.
“Hey,” Bucky said softly, pausing a couple of feet away. He resisted the urge to reach for Tony and, instead, shoved his hands into his pockets. “How are you doing?”
“You kicked them out,” Tony said, and Bucky blinked at him in surprise. Tony didn’t look at him, just kept staring down at the tablet, and he realized that Tony must have been watching the video feed.
“Yeah, I did. If Steve can’t rein her in and she poses a danger to you, than I don’t want either one of ‘em here,” Bucky said. He wouldn’t apologize for it, either. Maybe if Steve had agreed to make Wanda leave without him – but no. Steve would never do that, and Bucky wouldn’t expect him to.
“But it’s Steve.” Tony finally lifted his head. His eyes were bright with confused tears.
“Oh, darlin’,” Bucky whispered, heart clenching. In a handful of steps, he crossed the distance between them. Tony pulled his knees up against his chest, leaving space for Bucky to take a seat as well. Bucky took it and rested a hand on Tony’s right knee, just looking at him. The puffy shadows under Tony’s eyes seemed to be growing bigger by the day. He was beginning to think that Tony was in desperate need of a vacation.
“I don’t want to come in between you and Steve. You guys have been best friends for literally forever.” Tony turned away, staring out at the New York City skyline. “I… I don’t want you to turn around someday and realize that you regret being here with me instead.”
Bucky took a few seconds to absorb this, wanting to be sure that he understood exactly what Tony was worried about and how best to respond. Tony was very good at talking circles around people; he could speak for an hour without ever saying what was really bothering him. But in this case, Bucky was pretty sure that Tony was being honest: Tony was afraid that Bucky would leave him.
“Tony, listen to me,” he said, patiently waiting until Tony met his gaze before he continued. “What happens between me and Steve has nothing to do with you. This is not, and never has been, a situation where I have to choose between you. If Steve decides to make it that kind of situation because of Wanda or because he doesn’t like you, that has no bearing on you. That’s not your fault. That’s on Steve.”
He held up a hand when Tony went to speak. “Please let me finish. What you and I have makes me very happy. I love being your daddy. You make me calm. You make me remember why I’m not the Winter Soldier anymore. That’s very important to me. It’s not something I’m willing to give up. If, in the future, you and I mutually decided to part ways, that’s a conversation we can have then. But please believe me when I say that it won’t be because I decided I’d rather be friends with Steve.”
It was Tony’s turn to be quiet for a moment. Then he said, “But you kicked him out because of me.”
“That wasn’t just about you. I would’ve kicked them both out if they’d done that to anyone,” Bucky said honestly. “Natasha, Laura, the kids, Bruce. Wanda can’t be allowed to be here if she’s going to use her powers against us. Especially in public.” His stomach rolled at the thought of it and he whispered his deepest fear. “She could’ve – could’ve used her powers on - on me and – and set the – the Winter Soldier free…”
“Oh, Bucky.” Tony looked horrified. He set the tablet aside and got up on his knees, leaning forward to give Bucky a tight hug. Bucky gripped him back desperately, burying his face in Tony’s hair and taking deep, shuddery breaths. He hadn’t allowed himself to even think about that during the confrontation with Wanda and Steve, but the fear had been there in the back of his mind. It would be so easy for Wanda to wave her hand and shut down the rational part of Bucky’s mind. Not even Tony’s soothing presence would’ve been enough to stop the Winter Soldier from rampaging through that store.
“I don’t want her here,” Bucky whispered into Tony’s hair. “I – It scares me. She scares me.”
“She scares me too. I know,” Tony whispered back. “Thank you. For protecting me. Even if you say it wasn’t about me.”
“It was about you a little,” Bucky muttered. Having Tony in his arms felt so good. “Steve needs to think about some things. He can’t decide who I get to have in my life. And I can’t decide who he has in his life, but I can decide to minimize contact with him based on that. I’ll miss him, but…” he hesitated, then admitted, “sometimes I think I miss the person Steve used to be. That person is gone. I’m not always sure how to be friends with this Steve.”
Tony sighed against Bucky’s neck. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too, for not kicking Wanda out a long time ago.” If anything came out in the papers about Tony’s classification, Bucky would, at least partially, blame himself. He’d known from day one that it was dangerous to have Wanda here, yet he’d never said anything.
“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have let her stay here. But Steve said she’d changed…” Tony trailed off and shifted, squirming around until he was sitting sideways against Bucky’s chest and he could tuck his head under Bucky’s chin. It was one of his favorite ways of sitting.
“I don’t think Steve can be unbiased when it comes to her. He’s seeing what he wants to see and Wanda’s going along with it because… well, why wouldn’t she? Not many Littles would say no to having Captain America be their daddy,” Bucky said. “He told me once… he compares Wanda to himself. He said that she volunteered for a dangerous procedure just like he did, but that she shouldn’t be punished for that.”
“She volunteered to get revenge,” Tony said incredulously. “Against me!”
“I know, baby, I know.” Bucky held him tighter, a surge of protectiveness rushing through him. He would tear Wanda’s head off before he allowed her to hurt Tony again. They needed to look into some method of protecting the team from Wanda’s powers. There had to be a way.
That wasn’t something they could fix right now, though. Both of them were too wound up. Bucky knew it could be a while before anything showed up online - and that was if anything was going to show up; they didn’t know for sure that anyone had seen them, or realized what it meant even if they had been seen. The wait would drive Tony crazy if he wasn’t suitably distracted. Luckily, Bucky had the perfect way of doing that. He just had to present it in the right way, or Tony wouldn’t agree.
“I’m feeling kind of wound up,” Bucky said after a couple minutes. “Do you think you could be little tonight?” The key was to make it seem like he was the one who needed it. Honestly, it wasn’t a complete lie. He really was feeling strung out, and nothing eased that like his baby.
“Sure,” Tony agreed without hesitation, just as Bucky had known that he would. “JARVIS, can you continue to monitor the feeds?”
“Of course, Sir,” JARVIS said.
Tony nodded, leaning heavily against Bucky. “I… might need some help relaxing.”
“I can do that.” Bucky started to rub Tony’s back, knowing how much Tony loved that. They sat there for a while, just looking out at the city. It was a beautiful sight: this high up, you could see everything. The people walking around on the sidewalks looked like ants so you couldn’t see a lot of detail, but it was still fascinating to watch the hustle and bustle. There was a recognizeable pattern to it that was soothing.
When he thought that Tony was relaxed now, Bucky shifted around until he could get both arms underneath Tony and then stood up. Tony grumbled a little at the move, but Bucky was well aware that getting Tony into a diaper was more important than anything. It would make for a tense, unhappy night if Tony had an accident and that was the last thing either of them needed right now.
“Shh, shh, my grumpy boy,” he cooed, rubbing his head over Tony’s hair. “Daddy’s gonna get you into something more comfortable, and then we can watch the city some more, okay?”
He turned into the nursery and stepped up to the changing table, laying Tony out on top. Tony was blushing, which meant he wasn’t completely in his headspace yet. Bucky let him hide his red face behind a stuffed bunny as he removed Tony’s button-down shirt, undershirt, jeans, boxers and socks. He rubbed some cream in, dusted a little baby powder on, and then lifted Tony’s hips, sliding a diaper underneath him. He pulled the diaper up between Tony’s thighs and fastened it.
It was warm enough that Tony didn’t really need to wear something else so long as he was wrapped in a blanket, so Bucky forewent trying to get the baby into a onesie and grabbed Tony’s favorite blanket. It was a gift from Laura; three weeks ago, she’d given Tony a box and asked him not to open it until he was alone. Tony had been thoroughly shocked (and, adorably enough, embarrassed and flustered) to see the baby blue blanket inside. It was easily big enough to swaddle Tony, with a border of dark blue that was patterned with pale grey elephants and yellow ducks, and – as a bonus – it was incredibly soft. Tony loved it.
He wrapped the blanket around Tony’s shoulders, back, bottom and legs and tugged it tight, folding the rest of it over Tony’s front, including his arms and the stuffed bunny, until Tony was completely swadled and couldn’t get free until Bucky chose to unwrap the blanket. Tony squirmed a little and pouted when he realized he was trapped, but Bucky just smiled down at him. He knew Tony found it very comforting to be swaddled, no matter how much he tried to pretend that he didn’t. Swaddling also meant that Tony couldn’t do anything for himself, so he invariably ended up in a very little headspace. It was exactly what they both needed.
The very last thing was a pacifier, popped into Tony’s mouth before he could protest or cry. Then Bucky scooped him up, carrying Tony into the kitchen. He was getting experienced at making a bottle with the use of only one hand, while holding Tony with his other. It was slower, but the alternative meant putting Tony in the high chair or in the portable bassinet Bucky usually rolled into the kitchen – and that would mean Tony being alone with his thoughts. Not a good idea.
When the bottle was ready, Bucky took it and Tony back to the window seat. By that point the sun was about halfway set, and the first of the stars could be seen. He sat on the window seat and arranged Tony in his lap until the baby could see out the window. Then he removed the pacifier, replacing it with the nipple of the bottle. Tony began to suck down the milk with eager, hungry sounds.
Bucky smiled down at him, the last of the tension sliding off his shoulders. Here, locked up in Tony’s rooms with JARVIS watching over them, he felt safe for the first time all day. He leaned his head against the glass, idly thinking about what he would make for dinner later. A bottle wouldn’t be enough to fill Tony’s belly. Maybe they’d order out. Tony ordered the noodles from their favorite Thai place. He always ended up a mess when he ate them, but he could probably use a bath anyway.
“Good boy,” Bucky murmured, ducking his head to brush a kiss over Tony’s forehead. Tony babbled something around a mouthful of milk, and Bucky knew he was feeling really little if he wasn’t using words. He smiled again, tipping the bottle up so that Tony could drink the last of it more easily.
He wasn’t sure what was going to happen with Steve and Wanda, or what that would mean for the future of the Avengers, but he meant what he said. Steve was his friend and that would never change as far as Bucky was concerned. However, he was not going to take Wanda’s behavior sitting down, and he was never going to let her hurt Tony again.