Chapter Text
Day thirty-seven. Thursday.
Seven days since I’ve seen Coffee Boy.
Seven days since I’ve made the mistake of having to freeze at the very worst moment.
Clearly, it’s one of my biggest regrets.
Because this whole time, Coffee Boy has known who I am. This whole time, he’s seen me. Me. And he’s known me. He’s liked me. It makes sense and at the same time it doesn’t. I mean, he’s never been a guy to show much emotion (unlike myself). Hiding it all makes sense. He’s shy. He isn’t outspoken. He’s quiet.
But then again – why? What did he see in me? How did I make him start writing again? Why did he decide to change his name every day?
And now I might never know. I’ll still never know his name. I’ll still never know him. All because I let my shock overwhelm me.
At this moment, sadness overwhelms me.
Somehow, hearing he’s liked me this whole time is the worst thing ever.
He’s liked me this whole time but I’m never, ever going to see him again.
The worst part is he’s never going to know I felt the same way, too.
“What’s going on with you lately?” Suzette, my coworker, asks me. “You keep looking at the door.” She wipes her hands with a towel. It’s eleven and the morning rush is over. My morning rush has been over for quite a while.
I blink quickly, turning to her. “Oh. Just bored,” I tell her. Wrong. I feel horrible.
“You look miserable,” she says, hands at her sides. “Are you okay? What’s bothering you?”
“Nothing,” I lie. Coffee Boy is bothering me. Or the lack of him.
She looks at me disbelievingly. “Take the rest of the day off,” she tells me, putting down her hand towel. She smiles. “I’ll cover for you.”
I frown. “What?”
“Treat yourself,” she says. “Go home, buy some ice cream, watch a movie. Just don’t sulk, okay?”
Ice cream at home does sound like a promising idea. I smile at her. “Really?”
“For real. Now shoo.” She laughs, waving me off. Suzette’s the best.
“Thank you. I owe you one,” I leave the counter and take my bag.
When I arrive home, Veronica’s leaning on the counter and talking on the phone. “Yes,” she says. When she sees me, her eyes widen, and she smiles. “Actually, make that two pizzas… Pineapple’s for losers…Okay, thank you.”
She ends the call, turning to me. “Hey,” I say.
“You’re back so early!” She exclaims, running towards me. “He’s here. The guy I’m seeing – Record Store Boy. It’s time for you to meet him.”
Now my eyes widen. I didn’t know she was still seeing Record Store Boy. “Really? Oh my God!” I say. I’m excited for her – I’ve never seen Veronica so excited over a boy. “In your bedroom?” I ask, giving her a look.
“Yeah. But don’t worry, he’s clothed,” Veronica tells me. She grabs my hand and takes me to her room, my bag still in hand. She opens the door, revealing a guy watching La La Land on the television. “Hey, you unpaused without me!” She said, sitting down on her bed and hitting pause.
The guy is so not Veronica’s usual type. For one, he isn’t wearing expensive clothes. He’s wearing a white t-shirt and baggy jeans. His hair is a bright red in color. He looks familiar – but he could be any Los Angeles boy, really. When he sees me, he stands up and offers his hand. “Hey, you’re Betty? Veronica talks about you a lot,” he tells me.
I shake his hand and smile. He’s friendly. “I am, yeah. And you are…?”
“Archie,” he replies.
I stop thinking for a split second. Coffee Boy once used Archie.
“So glad you two have met!” Veronica says, snapping me out of my thoughts. She sits up and hooks her arm around his. “Archie’s from UCLA. He’s a senior and he wants to be a songwriter.”
I nod. “Cool.” Why is he so familiar?
I can see why she likes him, though. He’s the perfect gentleman, sweet and would do anything with her – like watch La La Land.
“He and I are going club crashing this week – he just turned twenty-one two weeks ago,” Veronica continues.
I stop thinking again for more than a split second. Because then it hits me.
Archie. Red hair. Familiarity. Birthday two weeks ago.
I step back. “Wait. Did you celebrate it at the Blue Mahogany?” I ask him. There’s something rising up up up inside of me. Hope, I think.
Archie steps back. “Uh…yeah? How did you – ”
“Oh my God.” My hand falls to my chest. I feel cold all of a sudden. And hot. My mind is spinning. Suddenly Coffee Boy isn’t out of reach.
Veronica’s eyes widen. “What? Betty, how – ”
“You’re Archie,” I say, pointing at him in disbelief.
“Yeah, I am,” Archie nods slowly, eyebrows furrowed. He’s so confused. So confused. Veronica’s so confused. But I don’t have time to explain. Because I’m freaking out. I’m. Freaking. Out. “How do you know where I celebrated my birthday – ”
“Who attended your birthday? White shirt, always late? Black hair, blue eyes? Tell me,” I ask so quickly I forget to breathe. How is this happening? How. Is. This. Happening? The world feels brighter. Everything is brighter.
My heart is beating out of its chest. Oh my God oh my God oh my God. It’s happening. This is actually happening. I’m pinching myself. Is the universe serious?
“My roommate? Jughead?” He answers, raising an eyebrow.
“JUGHEAD?! That’s his name?” I repeat, jaw dropping. I hold onto Veronica’s arm. Jughead. God, no wonder he has never said his name. It’s horrible. I can’t imagine ever being called Jughead.
“Betty, what’s going on?” Veronica asks, a look of concern all over her face.
Veronica’s boyfriend is Coffee Boy’s roommate.
“I don’t know how to explain…” I say. I’m smiling now. Smiling so wide it hurts. “But… Archie – where do you live?”
“Where do I – ? Why would I answer that?” He says. Is he irritated? Doesn’t matter. He knows Coffee Boy. He’s directly associated with him. He’s close. So unbelievable within my reach.
“Your roommate, he’s – okay, this is going to sound crazy. But I’ve been obsessed with him for weeks,” I say, holding my head between my hands.
“That is crazy, Betty,” Veronica says, holding my arm. “Are you okay?”
“What do you mean?” Archie asks, hands at his sides. He’s trying to calm down, trying to wrap his head around it all.
“But last week I… I realized that he’s been obsessed with me, too,” I continue. I look at them both. “Not in a creepy way,” I add.
“Is there a non-creepy way to obsess over someone?” Veronica asks rhetorically, but she’s smiling. I know she doesn’t completely understand what’s going on, but I don’t think she’s ever seen me this excited.
I smile at her quickly before looking at Archie again. “I’ve been staring at your roommate every day for four weeks,” I say, trying to sound calm. But then I start rambling. “He changes his name every day at the coffee shop I work at and he comes on Thursdays to type on his computer and I stare at him the whole time and…he told me one week ago he started writing again because of me…” I pause to smile. “He’s a writer, isn’t he?” I ask.
Archie nods. “This whole time,” I continue, “it was a mutual thing and I didn’t know but I froze when he told me that and I didn’t come after him and…”
I trail off, catching my breath. It all comes back to me.
Veronica’s smiling so widely. Her mouth opens in shock. “I can’t believe you never told me!” She shakes her head, almost laughing.
I look at her apologetically. “I’m sorry.”
She waves it off. “I get it. It’s weird. And this coincidence is just… wow. I need all the deets tonight, okay? But for now… Archie, tell her where you live,” she orders, turning to him.
Archie looks at Veronica and then to me. “I can’t believe he never told me, either,” he mumbles. “Whatever. I’ll roast him later… Anyway, he’s not home. He has a summer job – at the library.”
The library? That’s a five-minute walk away.
Coffee Boy is five minutes away.
No, scratch that.
Jughead. Jughead – who has the strangest name ever – is five minutes away.
I thank them as fast as I can, bolting through the door.
Five minutes feels like forever. But it also feels like the fastest walk of my life. Time is curving, stretching, shrinking – and none of this actually makes any sense. But it’s a miracle. A miracle.
A miracle.
I step inside the library and it takes a lot of energy to not scream and run looking for him. But it’s a large space, and he could be anywhere. He could be in between tall bookshelves or on a computer or whatever. But he’s here. Stepping in, I just know he is.
I look around – students, old people, adults. They’re all quiet and doing their own thing. Employees are pushing carts and helping people. My heart is racing like crazy. I go into the back section, hoping he’s hidden somewhere there.
And almost as though for the first time, I see him again in a shelf by the corner.
This is it.
I know I saw him last week, but this is different. It’s so different.
Because now I know more about him. I know his name.
And I know it’s a really strange name. But it fits. He never seemed like someone out of the ordinary, anyway.
He doesn’t see me. He’s returning books while reading through them briefly. I catch him alone, in a moment so oddly intimate. He doesn’t know how beautiful he looks, eyes focused on the text, his physique tall and lean and his face so absorbed.
I walk toward him and he doesn’t notice. Coffee Boy – Jughead – never notices anything. I mean, he thought I didn’t like him. He’s so unaware. He’s always been so unaware.
My whole mind is aware, though, of how this is a miracle. A miracle.
“Hey,” I say. I must look ridiculous, sneaking up on him like this, still in my barista uniform. But I don’t care. He’s seen me looking like this every day.
He turns to his left and jumps when he sees me. His blue eyes widen. “Oh my God!” He practically shouts, stepping back and dropping a thick hardbound. Someone pretty far away makes a shushing sound. He lowers his voice. “Oh my God,” he whispers.
I give him a shy smile, and then it’s his turn to freeze. My hands are cold – but there’s no way I’m freezing like I did last time. I can’t believe he’s here. Less than a foot away from me. I’m not used to the lack of counter separating us. I’m not used to him looking at me and only me, eyes so full of light and something else beautiful. He’s still the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.
All of this has been boiling inside of me for days. And I’m going to spill it out. Right here, right now.
“Look, I froze last time and I…I regret it,” I explain. I should’ve probably thought this through on the way here, because now I know I’m about to become a rambling mess. “A lot. I didn’t think it was possible to be so shocked. I mean, I froze. Like, literally, I couldn’t bring myself to move or react.”
He shakes his head in disbelief. “But I’ve found you now, thankfully,” I continue, “and I need you to know that I’ve noticed you, too. I really have. Since the first day you walked in…as Theo.”
He smiles. “You remember – ?”
“I remember perfectly.” I’m smiling back. And I can’t believe all of this.
“I remember, too,” he replies. He’s so nervous and I’ve never seen him like this before. “You look great, by the way. Not that you need my opinion.” My heart flutters like crazy.
“Thanks. I think you look great, too,” I tell him. Understatement of the century. He looks like he could be in the movies.
We’re quiet for a little bit. Shock is a funny feeling. Something is tingling inside me.
“So, Jughead, huh?” I say. Is it awkward? I hope it isn’t. Not that it matters. I’m too shocked.
He smiles again. And it’s so beautiful. “I have so many questions ... like how did you find me?”
I don’t know if I should tell him. But I do anyway.
“Your roommate is dating my roommate,” I explain, “and I recognised him from when I followed you into the Blue Mahogany which I am so sorry for, by the way. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to stalk you but I swear I walked out the moment I saw you because what the hell is wrong with me, right? And I understand if now you’re freaked out and you don’t want to talk to me – ”
“Betty, will you go on a date with me tonight?” He interrupts.
I stop.
He’s smiling so beautifully right now. His eyes, oh his eyes.
I see him now. And I’m not sure how I’ve gotten so lucky to have found him again.
And no, the sky isn’t clear. I’m still not friends with my mother. I’m still a barista and a college dropout. It’s not where I want to be right now, but in the mean time, I think I’ve found someone to get to know better. To understand.
I don’t know his story yet. I don’t know what caused him to be so sad or why he wears that crowned beanie on his head. I don’t even know his last name.
Later I will, though. I’ll learn that he wears a beanie in the shape of a crown ironically – an homage to his embarrassing adolescent rebellion. I’ll learn that he was sad because of unresolved issues with a drunk father and a deadbeat mother. I’ll learn that he writes nonfiction novels and the name Jughead is a bad nickname for an even worse real name.
I’m going to fall so, so in love with him.
But not today. Because today I have a date with a boy, and up until now I had no idea what his name was. And alas, I finally do.