Chapter Text
After walking for a couple blocks, Harry and Hermione bought some chips and headed to the park across from Sirius' house. Sitting on a bench where they could see the whole street and the upper windows of Number 13, just in case the Twins signaled the coast was clear to return, the two settled down for some people watching.
Shooting an inquisitive look at Harry, Hermione quirked an eyebrow in puzzlement at why he was laughing. Shaking his head in resignation while still chuckling, Harry gestured asking for a moment to collect his thoughts and be able to breathe and talk around his laughs.
"I was thinking about our conversation last night," he said.
"Oh no, you were thinking. That's kind of dangerous," Hermione replied as Harry bumped her shoulder in retaliation for the sarcasm. Laughing, Hermione said, "Which part and what about it?"
"The prank deaths. And I just thought of one," Harry said, a smirk present in his voice.
"Okay…what is it?… Harry, what is your idea?" Hermione asked. When all Harry did was point at the street in front of them, Hermione was ready to sock his shoulder. But all the expression on his face said was for her to wait and she would understand. A beat later, Hermione did understand what Harry's plan was when a Maserati went screaming pass them.
"You know that playing with oversized toys like that can be dangerous," she said as her ever-present notebook and pen appeared. "So, what is your plan for this one?"
"I don't know for sure. All I can think of is that I would love to see Tom…hell, any wizards really, try to cross the street without a Muggle-raised around to help. I have a feeling that it would be pretty entertaining," Harry said.
Hermione hummed in acknowledgement as she started writing. Knowing she was listening, though it was with only half an ear, Harry continued thinking aloud about cars and killing Voldemort and the road and killing Voldemort and traffic and killing Voldemort. He had just hit an interesting idea. Which would cause more damage killing Voldemort: a Land Rover, a Range Rover, a Jeep, or a Hummer? Figuring a Land Rover won for sheer British-ness, Harry considered the fatality of:
- a double-decker bus,
- a small tank,
- or a big-rig.
"Does it have to be a street he crosses," Hermione suddenly asked, "What about a highway?"
"What, like the M-1?" Harry said.
"Yeah, or even the Autobahn. I've heard of a stretch of highway in Romania that is pretty dangerous. Then you have the tracks in Milan for Formula 1 racing. There is even a racetrack in Germany that is open to the public. Use of the track only costs a few Euro per lap." Hermione explained.
"Miss Granger, I like the way you think," Harry said throwing an arm around Hermione's shoulders and giving a squeeze. "And I think I'll go with option number a.) the Autobahn. Oh oh oh, what do we have here? You're writing down what I've been saying? I knew you were just as sadistic as me."
Falling back on the most mature response Hermione had, she did the only thing anyone being teased could do. Looking Harry in eye, she crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out. "So there," she said.
"Hehehe, point made. Okay, so we have the where and the why is a 'no duh.' Who is the victim is another obvious answer, but what about the weapons? The order could drive the cars, but not enough know a little bit let alone enough about the Muggle world to be safe behind the wheel. That would mean you and I would have to do the driving; possibly even with Remus, Tonks, and Sirius helping out." Harry said.
"Let's say we do the driving," Hermione said. "Magical transportation wards would have to be put up. Same with something to keep Tom from just walking away. What about an e-fence or e-collar? That would require less magic and keeps with the idea of using the world he's turned his back on against him."
"You know, I really don't want to do the driving at all. I would much rather sit back with popcorn and enjoy the show. An e-collar and invisible fence would be fun and probably our best bet. He…he he…heheha…hahaha, we could make him play real life Frogger on the Autobahn. Get him there by turning…Snape's mark into a portkey. In fact, set the coordinates so they drop him right in the middle of the road with oncoming traffic surrounding him. Hey look; I think that's our signal we need to get back while the coast is clear," Harry said. His mood dropping to resigned when he spotted the Twins' signal.
Standing up, Hermione grabbed Harry's hand and pulled him up after her. Glancing at him, Hermione thought Harry looked like he was going to his own execution. And she didn't like that look on his face, so going with the only thing she could think of, Hermione started to whistle. The song that came out of her mouth was the theme from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. It got Harry laughing and as morbid and macabre their recent conversations have been, Hermione was glad that Harry was smiling again. Hopefully he wouldn't lose that good mood anytime soon, especially if Hermione has any say.