Chapter Text
There was a blissful minute after his eyelids first fluttered open when he surveyed the room and it was empty and quiet, where he felt at peace, where his brain hadn't quite caught up with him. Then he took notice of the puffiness around his eyes and the sticky feeling of dried tears on his cheeks, and the light feeling in his body as a result of the time spent gasping for air, and the feeling in his head like it had been stuffed full of cotton wool, and the memories of the past few hours all came crashing back down on him at once.
A hand met his wrist almost instantly, clasping hold of it and dragging it down into his lap but not letting go. He was able to weakly push himself into a sitting position and look around - Namjoon was sitting next to him, scrambling to get closer by the look of it.
He felt the weight of the younger boy's arms slide around his shoulders and drag him into a more upright position leaning against him. Jin let his head fall against Namjoon's shoulder, preventing his weight from falling completely.
Shuddering slightly, he took several deep breaths to stop the onslaught of tears becoming too bad. He felt a few beads of water clinging to his eyelashes and blinked rapidly to get rid of them before Namjoon saw, but to no avail.
"Tae-yah, can you - "
There was a rustle of movement behind him and then a hand - Taehyung's, he assumed - shoved a box of tissues past his face and into Namjoon's hands. He flinched backwards at the sudden movement but then somebody dabbed a tissue gently around his eyes.
"How are you feeling, hyung?"
He had to crane his neck to find the source of the voice but when he did, he was able to locate Taehyung and Hoseok perched on the arm of the sofa.
"I - " he paused, unsure of himself. Somehow the question seemed more complex than he could have imagined it would be, and he wasn't sure how to forge his answer into words. What he really wanted to say was empty, his entire being struck with the loss of someone so close to him, a part of himself missing and leaving in its place an open wound. Like there was a swell of tears lingering behind his eyelids and just one wrong word could send him swirling away, again, with a tidalwave of emotion. But he didn't know how to express it, so he closed his mouth again.
"Hyung - " this was Taehyung, leaning over to catch hold of one of his hands (the one that Namjoon wasn't still holding onto). Jin looked up, blinking up into their second youngest's piercing brown eyes. "It's okay not to know right now, you know that, right?"
"Yeah," he said, shooting him a watery smile with no real feeling behind it, but enough to reassure the younger that he had gotten his message across. It wasn't just his words that were important - he could see the overwhelming concern in Taehyung's eyes and the sincerity of his actions. "I just... she's gone. I'm not going to see her again, it's not fair!"
He lowered his head and a moment later, felt the weight of both Taehyung and Hoseok propelling themselves on top of him in order to properly manoeuvre their arms around him.
"I'm not going to make it to the funeral, am I?" he managed to choke out past the lump in his throat, words muffled by the material of Hoseok's jumper pressed against his face.
Nobody answered. It was clear, though, that this soon after their comeback while they were still in the middle of promotions, it would be difficult to get a break long enough for him to return home for the funeral. They were booked for several shows, and cancelling at this point could be complicated. It was times like this that he really, really hated being away from home all of the time.
"I'll speak to the managers," Namjoon said quietly, sounding unsure and yet his voice full of promise.
He didn't realise he'd started crying again until Hoseok pulled away from him to swipe at his cheeks, concern written across his face. "Hyung, hey," he said gently, soothingly. Jin whined slightly and leaned forwards, back towards the warmth of his embrace. He let out a long, trembling breath and let himself rest against the other members, drinking in their support and simply just their presence here with him. It took a few minutes for his tears to stem again, not as bad as the last time but still leaving his eyes and cheeks damp. He was still leaning against the others, unmoving and silent for several minutes, when the door opened. He didn't need to look up to see that it was the other three entering - Yoongi, Jimin and Jungkook - so he remained where he was, eyes closed to shut out the world.
There was a few minutes of mindless chatter in the room before he felt Namjoon release his hand and gently move him into a more stable upright position as he moved away off the sofa, saying quietly to the others that he needed to have a word with the managers. He sighed audibly but sat up, allowing Taehyung to rub at his eyes with the tissues for a moment. "Tae, it's fine, really - "
Taehyung shook his head stubbornly and continued to wipe his cheeks.
"You should go wash your face, hyung," came Yoongi's voice from the back of the sofa. One hand squeezed his shoulder in quiet support. Jin felt himself nodding, but made no movement to go anywhere as Hoseok pullled away from the hug and flung himself into Namjoon's vacated space, eyes still locked anxiously onto his hyung.
If he was being honest, Jin felt a little lost. He knew there was nothing he could do for his family from here. He would ring but it would only upset both himself and his mother, again, and he supposed they needed a little time after the raw sting of the initial news. His head was still swimming, making him feel vaguely detached from the whole situation - plus, his legs felt numb and tingling and he didn't remember how to make himself move, how to do much of anything.
"Would you like me to come with?" Jimin's gentle voice sounded from the doorway. Sometimes he genuinely believed that the younger had been sent to him as some sort of a blessing.
He didn't say a word in reply, not trusting the lump in his throat not to give halfway through the sentence, and instead reached one hand to him. Jimin took hold of it, forcing Taehyung to move in a shoulder-barge sort of movement that in other situations he would have scolded him for. Once standing, he felt kind of as though the ground was about to collapse from underneath him and swayed slightly, but Jimin managed to loop an arm around his shoulders before it became noticeable to the others, shooting him a small smile. Jungkook pressed a half-eaten chocolate bar into his hand as they left the room - an odd gift, but the sentiment was there all the same, and he took a few bites as they walked.
The bathrooms were, thankfully, entirely empty save for the two of them, as so Jimin was able to lean against the wall while Jin washed his face. The cold sting of the water on his skin was refreshing, and cleared his head a little - he could feel some of the fuzziness leaving him, both from his breakdown and from his fitful sleep. Jimin guided him through the motions, making sure to always stay nearby. As the eldest of the group, Jin was used to catering for the others, rather than the other way round, but the way that they all rallied around him in situations like this made him insanely, immensely grateful to have them around him.
"Jiminie?"
"Yeah, hyung?"
"... Thank you."
Jimin didn't need to ask him what for.