Chapter Text
The pillow fort they built together is a little lopsided, but sturdy nonetheless. Comfort is the most important factor in the end, and they’ve nailed that aspect, so aesthetics don’t really matter much.
Then again, the fact that there are lots of pointy elbows and knees to avoid in favor of softer surfaces like thighs and stomachs means it’s kinda hard to get extra comfy. For once, Pidge is glad she has the smallest frame of the bunch, because she has more freedom to splay out as she pleases atop her sleeping friends. Kosmo is content to lay in front of the group, though he’s out of Pidge’s reach.
‘Curse these short arms.’
Keith’s in the middle, arms raised up on the pillows that make up the back of their fort, while Pidge sits in his lap. To his left, Hunk sits with his arms and legs crossed -- ‘How does anyone even fall asleep like that?’ -- and with Pidge’s legs propped up on his thighs. Then to his right, Lance is sitting similarly to the yellow paladin, but his legs aren’t locked together like Hunk’s are. Pidge’s head has nowhere else to go but Lance’s lap. They’re both mildly pleased, but outwardly, the tight-lipped grimaces on both their faces say otherwise.
Neither one really wants to move. They run the risk of waking the others, and that’s not ideal, since they both want to talk. Pidge beats him to it and mutes the movie.
“Nice of them to invite us over and fall asleep forty minutes into The Two Towers, huh? After they went through the trouble of bribing me here..” She whispers, not looking away from the screen.
“I’ll say.” Lance replies, holding back a yawn. “This is nice, though. I did miss you guys.”
“Even Keith?” Teasing eyes finally look up at Lance’s face, but only briefly. He looks as tired as she feels.
“I know it may be hard to believe,” he raises a melodramatic fist, “but we’ve called a truce for this special occasion.”
“I’m proud of you two.” There’s a bit of sarcasm in her tone, but Pidge smiles at him without mischief in her eyes, and Lance wonders when the last time he saw her whole face smile was. It feels like it’s been years, somehow. His stomach does some somersaults in agreement.
The silence they fall into after that is somewhat comfortable, until it isn’t.
“...Lance?” Pidge turns her head as far away from his face as she can without burying her face in his thigh.
“..Yeah?”
“Veronica came to see me not long after Hunk did.” Pidge does her best to regulate her breathing. She hopes Lance can’t tell, but considering that she’s leaning on him, her attempts are futile. “Apparently, she’s been dying for stories about your misadventures, and she wanted to hear them from me the most ever since she heard that I’ve been there for most of them.”
“Oh man, she can be really pushy.. I’m sor--”
“No, I didn’t mind. But, like. I didn’t really have much to tell her.” She may not be breathing super well, but at least she mastered keeping a monotonous voice. “She told me about you and Allura. How you two were all flustered before the fight. Asked me about you two.” With every word she speaks, she feels her throat close up, but she presses on. She can’t believe she’s doing this, but now that it’s being said, she can’t back out. “Didn’t know what to tell her since I didn’t think you two would actually.. But yeah. C-Congrats, I guess.”
It hurts Lance’s heart to hear those words from Pidge. That pain and emptiness in his chest, the nausea, the way his vision blurs -- they’re visceral reminders of the conclusion he’s been struggling to accept for the past several days. Maybe he’s been struggling for longer. He can’t keep ignoring his own feelings anymore.
“Pidge…” His voice cracks, causing the girl to flinch. “Pidge, can you please look at me for a second?” He needs to see her face. To be absolutely certain. He needs to know.
Wiping away tears that threaten to make an appearance is hard to do when you can’t use your hands. It takes her a while to turn around while she tries to pull herself together as subtly as possible, but she does eventually.
Amber eyes meet blue, trying to lock up and hide all the emotions swirling around her head, clouding her mind. Those exhausting thoughts occupy every available cell in her brain, so she doesn’t pick up on the signals Lance is trying to send her with his gaze.
‘There’s nothing between Allura and me.’
Then again, maybe the blur from the thin sheen of tears glazing his eyes over isn’t quite helping his attempts at telepathy. Or maybe it’s the fact that his gaze is wandering all over Pidge’s face, relishing in seeing it up close, trying to soak in every detail now that he’s inspecting her under a different light.
“Quiznak.” He breathes, pressing his palms into his eyes. “Pidge.”
No answer. He rubs his eyes and blinks hard, squinting to see her face. Her eyelashes are wet, and her eyes closed. That amount of social interaction of that nature was enough to knock her unconscious for the night.
“Pidge.. I need to tell you while you’re awake, Pidge..” He wipes his tear-streaked hand on his leg and proceeds to put it on Pidge’s forehead to brush her bangs out of her face. “I’ve gotten no sleep because of you, you gremlin.” Lance frowns, moving his hand down to her cheeks to smack them lightly. “It isn’t fair for you to pass out while I’m trying to tell you some very important information.”
Pidge’s nose wrinkles and her eyes open just a sliver. “Make it quick. M’sleepy.”
“...Prove you’re awake first, you cryptid.” He raises a brow and three fingers. “How many fingers am I holding up?”
“Is it the same number of fingers that I’m going to bite off if you don’t get to the point? Or the same number of seconds that you have to live?” She growls, not excited about the prospect of listening to Lance say anything Allura-related.
“Pidge, please.” He pleads, moving his hand down to squeeze her shoulder.
“Whatever. Spit it out already.” Pidge wheezes, mentally preparing herself to give up and leave the room if things go south.
“I..” Lance struggles to swallow. “There’s nothing going on between Allura and me.”
That increases Pidge’s alertness levels better than the energy drink she chugged earlier did. She stays quiet, waiting for him to continue.
“Look, I… There’s someone else I’m…” He hesitates, before making firm eye contact with her. It startles Pidge, but she holds his gaze just as she did earlier.
“I like someone else. Very much.” ‘Maybe even love, but it’s way too soon to blurt that out. I need more time before I can be certain of that.’
All of this is news to the girl. For as long as she’s known him, and as long as she’s known of him, he’s always been the type to gravitate towards a certain type of girl. Long legs, heart-shaped faces, laughs as pretty as they are, and bright eyes. Of course, his tastes have changed a bit over time to exclusively mean “Princess Allura”, and then he appeared to stop casually pursuing other girls altogether. After the whole Lotor thing, the only girl she’s seen Lance flirt with is Romelle, though he quickly seemed to realize that she’s in a whole other league.
So unless he’s fallen for some fellow Earthling while she was busy with Sendak stuff, she has no clue who a viable candidate could be. ‘It could be you,’ a little voice in her head teases. She almost shakes her head just to get the thought out of her mind. ‘The probability of that isn’t zero… But I don’t want to get my hopes up either…”
“Pidge?” There’s a strain in Lance’s voice that pierces her abdomen. His eyes are shut tight, like he's in pain too. “Can I tell you a story?”
Part of her wants to say no, but her curiosity overrides every logical part of her brain telling her that now probably isn’t the best time. A quick glance at their two fellow paladins reveals that their eyes are still shut. Good. If they wake up, she’s in close enough range to land direct hits to everyone’s jaws and sprint away. “...I’m listening.”
It's hard to pinpoint when exactly it started. It wasn't when he first saved her from Sendak's grip with a sick no-scope, not when she revealed her true identity as Katie Holt, and it wasn't when she said she would stay with the team. It wasn't when he caught her carrying some interesting sculptures that resembled the team made from what looked like space junk. It wasn't when she shouted his name at Beta Traz while she went in for an attack on that beefed up warden that was easily fifty times her size. It wasn't at the Space Mall, when getting that gaming console made her smile bright enough to rival the sheen of the battle-class Balmeran crystal they harvested not long after that. It wasn't on Olkarion, when a new light entered her eyes for the first time as she unleashed more of her potential. It definitely wasn't when Pidge landed a head shot on Sven as he was lunging for him back when they entered that alternate reality. It also wasn't when she came back with her brother in tow, looking both ecstatic and terrified, because she'd set out for two family members and only returned with one. It isn't when her eyes are set ablaze by Zarkon's proposition to exchange Lotor for her father. It didn't start while he watched her reunite with her family, after not giving up on seeing them for years, and after all she'd been through. It wasn't when they formed that pact with the Galrans under Lotor's rule and she decided that the next logical course of action was to hack into a sentry and make it join them in their shenanigans. It wasn't when she saved the Castle of Lions from Shiro's evil clone virus, and it wasn't when he ran past her hangar later during their evacuation of the castle and spotted her bringing the space junk sculpture of him into Green's cockpit. It wasn't when he saw the look of bewilderment at his futile attack on Ezor and Zethrid. It wasn't when she held on to his hand for longer than she needed to back when they were stranded in space without their lions. It wasn't when he heard the excitement in her voice as she recognized the Milky Way. It wasn't when he felt their equal desire to fight to protect Earth draw up the energy to summon dual swords for Voltron to fight with.
No, this probably began when she'd put her hand on his shoulder and nodded, prompting him to fly into that wormhole without knowing for certain if he'd ever see his family again. Back when they first found Blue.
That was the first spark. Meeting Allura diverted his attention from that odd sensation, and thus, he forgot about it. It hadn't really crossed his mind again until years later. However, hindsight is 20/20.
The signs were there. They always had been. He'd just been too busy chasing someone else for a while. Then by the time he'd realized it, he was afraid he was too late. She'd honed all her skills and developed into an even more brilliant paladin, and an indispensable asset for the Voltron Coalition. She was too good for him now.
"...She may not look like the type I usually flirt with," Lance continues, "but I think I might have learned that I've been repressing a thing for cute prank-loving nerds with freckles and really boop-able noses for a while now. I like you."
He opens his eyes slowly to gauge Pidge's reaction, only to find her silently bawling her eyes out. 'Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit--'
"You... You're an idiot; you know that, right?" She hiccups, prompting Lance to quickly turn his eyes towards Keith, who probably felt that. And indeed he had. It feels like his violet gaze is a shiv in his lung, knocking him windless. Hunk is also staring, though his look isn't severe. It's more of a pitying look, which only makes Lance more flustered.
"Wh--" Lance's tone is indignant. "How long have you two been listening?"
"D'you really wanna know?" Hunk grins, though at least he has the decency to look sheepish. Keith, on the other hand, almost looks smug.
"How could we possibly fall asleep knowing that there'd finally be a resolution to this tired old love story if we just waited patiently?"
"Shut up, you dorks." Pidge sits up, and Lance already misses her warmth on his thighs. Before he can glare for too long at Keith for being Pidge's current seat, she wiggles off to sit between the two. Tears still stream freely down her face, regardless of how many she wipes off.
She turns to look at Lance, who is overcome by the urge to reach up and cup her face, helping to wipe some tears away. "I think everyone suspected about this except for us." She laughs. Her voice is soft, still afraid.
"Wait, so you.. Do you feel the same, Pidge?"
"No shit, Sherlock." She chuckles. "I have... For a while now."
"Oh...." Lance feels himself go a vivid shade of red. His face aches from the grin threatening to split his face in half. "That's... That's a really nice thing to hear..."
He jumps a bit when he feels a small thumb on his face. He hadn't realized he was crying. "I'm sorry, I just--"
Pidge interrupts him by grabbing his hands in her own. Hers don't quite engulf his like his do hers, but he's swept off his feet by the gesture regardless. "It's okay. Me too. I... lo-- like you, too."
"Pidge..." His chest starts to heave as all the emotions he's been holding back finally break free. He pulls away from her grip, opting instead to hug her close with one hand on the small of her waist, and another resting atop her head. "Katie..."
"C'mon, Lance. We can't both be crying while we confess our feelings; what is this?" She laughs between sobs, extending an arm to the other two paladins still watching them like a live studio audience watching a bad sitcom. "You two gotta get in on this, too."
The four embrace and settle into a comfortable sleep minutes later. They'd later recall that as the first night they were all able to sleep remarkably well, without nightmares or sleep-talking or any other inconveniences.
Of course, the sleep-talking and the nightmares never really stopped happening... Except now, they knew that holding each others' hands could keep those occurrences at bay.
That was a good enough excuse as any to hold hands all the time.