Chapter Text
Sometimes Atem really didn’t know what he was doing anymore.
Like right now.
He was walking.
But walking WHERE?
Past the same god damn sandstone door he had seen a million times.
He couldn’t find ANYTHING in this god damn palace. It felt like being back in his soul room except worse because at least his soul room was consistently 76 degrees.
The weather here during the day seemed to fluctuate between “Hot as balls,” “Australia” and “oh god. OH G O D.”
Right now it was somewhere in between “Hot as Balls” and “Australia,” so it was pretty manageable.
If only he could find his bed room for once.
They’d told him where it was a million times. Mahaad had shown it to him a million times. Set had drawn him at least 6 maps. Mana had (tried) teleporting him there once. Shimon had walked him there and laughed at his ineptitude the entire way.
But still.
Nothing.
He had been planning on just lying under the covers for a while and day dreaming about swiss cheese or or some other modern convention he’d never see again but right now he really just missed GPS systems.
There was one time when Yugi got lost and used his GPS for a 2 minute walk.
Atem hadn’t thought anything of it then but oh.
Oh how he envied it now.
A loud crash suddenly pulled him out of his inner monologue.
Well he could always just follow whatever made that noise.
Or he could ignore it and keep wandering around alone before someone found him and tried to get him to do something productive.
He didn’t get much alone time so he liked to treasure the few minutes alone he DID have.
“WHADDUP, IT’S YA BOI.”
That voice…
Those WORDS.
It couldn’t be.
Atem ran for the first time since he had moved into the afterlife because for the first time since then, there was something to run for.
He knew if he ran to the end of this hallway and took a left he’d reach the throne room.
He might’ve just been purposefully avoiding it is all.
He ran into the throne room only to see the Thief King himself standing at the door, and his priests all standing in a line in front of the throne having assumed their positions for battle. Set stepped up as Atem entered the room quietly and unnoticed.
“BAKURA you insolent knave. You should have been consumed in the jaws of Ammit! Wouldn’t we have seen you when our Pharaoh returned from the human world?”
Bakura chuckled and stepped towards the priests.
“Oh yeah. That whole little shindig. Well, I got an invitation but I opted out. My family and I have had 3000 years of catching up to do after all. But now I’m back. And while the souls of Kul Elna may finally be free, my hatred for the Pharaoh still burns with the fury of Ra himself! I’ve come to reclaim the throne for the people!”
The priests scoffed and Shada looked like he’d be physically ill.
Atem meanwhile, was thinking that he must’ve misheard.
He sighed and found himself about to step in and resume in his position as leader of the Brady Bunch when suddenly.
Bakura took yet another step forward and his priests stepped back.
“Well, well, WELL. Look at aaaaaaallllll those chickens.”
Atem gasped softly.
Suddenly 7 pairs of eyes were on him.
OSIRIS BE DAMNED it was like he couldn’t even BREATHE without somebody noticing.
“My Pharaoh please step back!”
Oh Isis, so sweet but,
No he was going to step forward.
He was going to find out.
He walked towards no-man’s land and walked until he was inches away from the thief’s face. He remembered Bakura’s eyes being lavender but now they were bright pink coals, blazing with fury as Atem leaned in and softly whispered
“Bakura…..I need to know….How much do you remember?”
The thief practically growled out a reply
“Everything. Every indiscretion and ever-“
“No. Shut up. How much of the modern world do you remember?”
“Practically nothing. I’ve left it all behind me.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Well it’s the truth.”
“No it’s not. And here’s how I’m going to prove it.”
Atem stepped back and gave out a mighty bellow.
“WHEN I SAY HILLSHIRE YOU SAY FARMS. HILLSHIRE”
The six priests stood behind him in utter confusion as Bakura’s eyes went wide and his own hand flew up to his mouth as if struggling to keep something back. Atem smirked and stepped back again.
“REEEEED ROBINS.”
The thief fell to his knees, both hands covering his mouth and a cold sweat running down his back. The priests at this point had given up the battle formation and were now sitting on the steps leading up to the pharaoh’s throne, utterly baffled. Except for Seth. Seth had received a private lesson from Atem in “Slogans you can’t help but finish” and he was ecstatic to see their power in action.
“Bakura….You can be honest with me. I’m giving you one more chance before I bring out the worst one.”
Bakura’s head snapped up and though his hands didn’t move he managed to yell out (a very muffled)
“NEVER!”
Atem grinned and raised his arm.
“JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL.”
Seth gasped.
The “Don’t Stop Believing” slogan.
The most powerful one there was.
No man nor beast had ever stood a chance against it.
And it seemed no Thief King could either.
Bakura lept to his feet and screeched
“LIVING IN A LONELY WORLD.”
The two of them sang the next line together, rather against Bakura’s will.
“HE TOOK THE MIDNIGHT TRAIN GOING ANYWHERE.”
Atem’s laughter bubbled out of him and it took all his willpower not to run over and hug his sworn enemy.
“Bakura! You remember!!”
The thief king -with a dark blush on his cheeks- crossed his arms and avoided all eye contact
“Well of course I do! I just. Like pretending I don’t considering how you handed me my ass on a silver platter. And uh.. because we-”
“-We can never go back.”
Pink coals met Amethyst waters and for the first time in a 3000 year feud it seemed like the Pharaoh and his rival had finally reached common ground.
Bakura sighed and stepped forward
“I…I’m sorry about busting in right now. I’m not really that pissed anymore but I thought returning to my old routine would be exciting. And it kind of was but you’re busy and-“
“Oh no. No no no no no. I’m not busy. Like at all. Seriously.”
The six priests nodding in the back confirmed this.
“Like dude. Do you wanna hang out or something? We can chill in my room…..If I can ever find it.”
“Cousin do you need another map? I’ve drawn you 12 so far but I don’t mind-”
“-NO COUSIN I’M FINE I’M TRYING TO MAKE A NEW FRIEND HERE AND I’D REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU PLEASE STOPPED EMBARRASSING ME.”
Bakura’s chuckles filled in what would have been an awkward silence and Atem joined him, laughing more out of relief than anything.
Eventually however, the laughter died out and the two stared at each other for a second.
“So uh. Is it true you really have a room full of gold around here somewhere?”
“I dunno.”
Atem turned around
“Guys do we have a room full of gold?”
“Yes, it’s in the east wing in the western hallway.”
“Ah…Yes Karim. Thank you. That location description will be….very helpful.”
Bakura snorted and Atem turned to face him
“Shut up scrub.”
“Fuck, I live in a one room hut with my parents and 3 siblings but god damn at least I know where my shit is.”
“Dude you don’t even KNOW, I almost peed in a corner the other day because I couldn’t find our ancient egyptian toilet.”
“Oh yeah. I have one of those. We call it the bucket.”
Atem nearly keeled over laughing and even a few of the priests joined in. Bakura grinned at the fact that he’d finally brought the Pharaoh to his knees in probably the stupidest way possible.
“Hey the room of gold? I’m waiting.”
Atem wiped a tear from his eye and grinned.
“Yeah, I’m sure we’ll figure it out if we just walk around.”
Atem had his back to the six priests so he missed a very concerned Seth mouth “walk to the left” at Bakura.
“Well you came from the right so let’s go to the left this time”
“Whether or not this friendship is going to last is going to depend on whether or not you catch this next reference Bakura, I’m just letting you know that.”
“What ar-“
Suddenly Atem ran towards the left hall screaming.
“Why are you…oh-OH!”
Bakura’s face broke into a grin and he yelled back in a heavily accented voice
“WHY ARE YOU RUNNING? WHY. ARE YOU RUNNING?”
Both their laughters echoed down the hall and suddenly the six priests were left alone in the chamber.
“aHA! I just realized it! Look at all those chickens is a reference from the popular meme platform vine!”
“Seth.”
“Yes Mahaad?”
“Just shut up.”