Chapter Text
> Be Perry the Platypus
Narrowing your eyes at your disaster of a nemesis as he continues rambling, you pull out your phone with your free paw, typing in a quick message. You have an idea, and you're fairly sure he won't like it. But it'll get you all home.
My fool nemesis got us stuck, how soon can u b here?
P. #[ ]">
Adding the coordinates, you send it off and settle in to wait. Heinz's hand flexes in your grip and you squeeze back, leaning against his leg.
It's not the first time you've been stuck in the middle of nowhere with him. Honestly, it happens a lot. You're used to it. At this point you'd rather be here than stuck in the middle of nowhere without him, because at least this way you have the pleasure of his company.
The annoyance, really, but he's grown on you. Like mould.
Closing your eyes, you allow yourself a moment to breathe. He's safe. They're all safe. Maggie's found a perch on Harry's fedora while he draws in the thin layer of dirt. Karen weaves between Heinz's legs, purring. And Heinz...
He's backstorying again, and you know you should be paying attention but all you can think about are the lips saying the words. How they'd felt on your bill. You want to drag him off somewhere private and kiss him until the shape of them is as familiar as your own paws-
Your phone buzzes with Peter the Panda's answer.
anythng for u bby
eta 1h
Insufferable. Just like Heinz, if Heinz was a panda and also didn't respect your professional boundaries. No wonder they're friends.
And you're fine with that, their friendship, as long as Heinz is honest with you about it. No more sneaking around behind your back. It's good for Heinz to have friends, you can't deny that, but the disastrous way he'd gone about it that first time has left you wary.
Still.
At least Peter had understood where you were coming from, that night in Seattle. You've kept in contact since, talking about work and-
kiss him yet?
Thankful for the fur hiding your blush, because your agents do not need to see you off-balance like this, you jab your thumb at the screen.
Shut up
It's none of his business. Ignoring the buzz of another message coming in, you slide your phone back into its pocket in your hat, adjusting the brim. You regret ever telling him anything. He'll only use it against you, especially the fact you've thought about kissing your nemesis in his stupid face entirely too often for it to mean nothing.
At least it worked out, you think, squeezing Heinz's hand again. He glances down at you, mid-monologue, a faint smile on those cursed lips, and you push that out of your mind while you draw a finger around the outside of your watch where he can see it. Rescue now, kissing later.
"An hour? What's happening in an hour- oh, a rescue? Perry the Platypus, I could just-"
...
Okay, kissing now. You curl your fingers around his jaw, losing yourself in the heat of his mouth, and wonder why you waited this long.
Professionalism, probably. You have a reputation to uphold as an agent of the O.W.C.A., after all. A force of Good. And, as the top agent especially, you shouldn't get into bed with Evil. Figuratively or otherwise.
A small voice in the back of your mind says you shouldn't date subordinates either, but you ignore it. Heinz is different. He's your nemesis, your best friend, your equal in all the ways that matter; your position has nothing to do with any of it.
Besides, the man's turned out to be dangerously good at kissing.
You may not have had much experience at this, but he has. And he puts it to good use, wielding that tongue of his in ways you hadn't even imagined were possible, making your head spin. Dizzying, that's what this is. As soon as you get everyone home, you're finding a secluded corner and making him teach you all his tricks. It's only fair.
He pulls away first, smiling at you. "Someone's enthusiastic," he says, in a whisper meant for your ears only, and you can't help the shiver that runs down your spine. "You're so good, you know that? So attrac-"
Slapping a paw over his lips, you meet his eyes then glance at your audience, your team. They're not looking, but that doesn't mean they're not paying attention.
Harry's ear flicks.
Right. You exhale, pushing your feelings aside. Time to be the team leader again. Convince Heinz to set you back down so you can fold your paw into his hand again. Get your team home.
Adjusting your hat again so it sits securely on your head, as if it wasn't already, you call them over. Their expectant gazes settle on you, as heavy as the weight of your responsibility, and you stare back helplessly. Where do you even begin?
"Perry the Platypus says we're getting picked up in an hour," Heinz says, beside you, and you give his hand a grateful squeeze. Talking's always been more his thing, anyway. "Well, not quite an hour any more, it was a few minutes ago, wasn't it?, but the point is, we're getting rescued!"
Maggie and Harry cheer. Next to them, Karen curls up with a contented twitch of her tail. It's almost enough to make you sorry for what you're about to do. Almost.
You pull out the usual post-mission paperwork from your hat and hand it out, ignoring the protests. They'll learn. Better to be be productive now, while you wait, than cut into your already-limited sleep later.
The first one to give in is Heinz, dropping to the ground with only mild complaining and taking the offered pen from your fingers. You always carry a spare, since he tends to forget his. The others follow not long after, taking their forms and settling into their own small sections of the ledge, and then all you can hear is the soft scratch of pen on paper and Heinz's quiet mumbling.
He's still holding your paw.
Smiling, you settle in next to him, leaning back against his leg with your own report in paw. You've filled out a lot of these over the years. Enough that you can do it in your sleep if need be. You've had to, when you've been on a late-night mission and don't get home until the dark hours of the morning and need to be up at first light. It's more common than it sounds.
The time passes quickly as you work through the paperwork, and before you know it your phone's buzzing with a new message. That must be Peter again.
where r u?
Ledge facing lair. Can't miss it
You think that's the last of it, until-
lol. cute.
Flushing under your fur, you look up, at your team and the way they're all curled on or around you. By which you mean Heinz. Karen's draped around his shoulders and dozing, Harry's using his knee as a pillow, Maggie's perched atop his fedora and scratching her signature into the forms. He's even pulled you into his lap while you weren't paying attention.
He's monologuing at them, and you can tell they're not listening but his grin is so bright that it doesn't matter, you could watch him forever-
Except that's when Peter lands his hoverjet. It's larger than yours, still, because OWCA may have a bigger budget now but replacing a functional hoverjet is too far, and yours is functional. Well, repairable. Apparently. It's been in for repairs for the last two months, after Heinz crashed it, immediately after the last time it came back... You don't know why you put up with him sometimes.
You remember why when he freezes up, eyes flicking nervously between you and- "Peter the Panda?" he asks. Too cute for his own good, you swear.
Squeezing the hand still wrapped around your paw, you smile at him. He has nothing to worry about. It's not like their friendship's a secret. You know, and you encourage it, because it makes him happy and that's what matters. The incident over summer was a one-off, it's all in the past, you trust him. He's earned your trust.
Peter's raising an eye at your back, you can tell. Don't need to look to feel his judgemental stare, asking the same question you'd refused to answer earlier.
Which, fine. Two can play at that game. You let out a low chirr and your team scrambles back. All except Heinz. Him, you pull into a kiss, pressing your body flush against his, claiming him for everyone to see.
The thought's more appealing than you care to admit.
Heinz appreciates it too, making a soft noise of encouragement when you trace your tongue over his lip, clutching at the fur on your shoulders. All of which makes it harder to pull away.
But pull away you do, flashing him a quick smile before you turn to face Peter. You trust him too, that's why he's here, standing straight and silent by his hoverjet. Watching.
"This is your grand rescue plan, Perry the Platypus?" Heinz complains, thumb rubbing over your knuckles.
Peter's ear twitches in what you've come to identify as amusement, the only break from his usual impassive stare. The only sign he's laughing at you, the jerk.
You want to roll your eyes at both of them. Why are all your friends insufferable.
Instead of doing something so childish and petty in front of your team, you nod your head at the hoverjet. Someone has to be the responsible one.
Another ear twitch, hopefully in acknowledgement but knowing him it's more laughter because he's that sort of jerk, and he opens up the door at the back with the push of a button. An automatic door.
You're not jealous.
Okay, maybe you're a little jealous. You don't get the funds for anything like that at the Danville branch. Even your equipment barely makes it into the budget. But you're a professional, so you gesture your team in anyway. Harry's bulk means it'll be a tight fit to get the five of you in, because apparently even the Seattle branch's funds have limits, but you'll all fit.
Heinz stands with a groan, squeezing your paw again. "Just us left, huh?" he says, and you nod. So if he can just...
Lift you into his arms and carry you into the hoverjet...
You should be irritated. It's undignified, especially in front of your team, and sets a bad example. But he's Heinz.
Abandoning all pretence of professionalism, you burrow into his side with a yawn. It's been a long day. Your team's safe, you're all on the way back home, and you can finally relax. Tuck your head in, twitch your tail across one of the warm bodies next to you, Maggie's back from the squawk, and settle in for the trip.
...
OWCA's going to freak when they find out.
U won't tell rite?
:)
Jerk.