Chapter Text
==> Answer phone while trying to look totally normal and not suspect or bothered by sirens
You would have to be some sort of awesome COOLKID to pull off a move like that! Nevertheless, you try to answer the phone in as suave and nonchalant a manner as you can manage.
==> Fumble phone
No! Although you make a valiant effort to drop the phone, you instead make a SWEET CATCH, which earns you a thumbs-up from a cute skater guy who’s passing at the time.
No. I started communicating with No. XX
I: Given the rumors that the efficacy of our ragtag group of misfits has been reduced by a significant percentage, I hoped to discover that you were engaged in some ill-advised prank. Is this the case? I cannot promise I would not spill the beans, as it were, but it might relieve some tension to get this off your chest.
XX: um...i guess it’s not a prank, whatever you’re talking about. are you lalonde? do you know xv? she seemed pretty upset the last time we talked
I: …
I: For the sake of reducing the amount of tomfoolery I am to be expected to mediate, may I ask if you called xv a girl previously?
XX: well, only to nannasprite. is that a problem?
I: I suppose not.
XX: so are you going to help me out?
I: As much as I would like to be of assistance, I was made to understand it would be ill-advised to provide anything approaching a helpful response at this juncture. I am truly sorry.
XX: oh, okay then. did you want anything in particular from me? cause i don’t think i’ll be much help, either, haha
I: Duly noted.
XX: i know you said you wouldn’t be helpful, but does
XX: noblesse oblige mean anything to you?
XX: sorry. i hit the send key too soon
I: ‘Noblesse oblige’, or ‘nobility obliges’, is said to mean that the nobility must act nobly, or that one must act in in a fashion that conforms to one’s position, and the reputation (and power) that one has earned. Those who have power are supposed to use it for the betterment of the world; it was the principle which was supposed to guide the wealthy throughout much of history. Unsurprisingly, it has proven an inadequate measure to ensure that those with power or wealth turn their influence to noble ends.
XX: ...wow. i thought you weren’t supposed to be helpful
I: In all fairness, I did produce that answer from thirty seconds on Wikipedia. In fact, I would be willing to offer my services as a general research source. There are many points of freely-available information you may, as a newly-minted amnesiac, find are not available to you, which I would be willing to provide.
XX: for a price?
I: Not in the manner you’re suggesting, no. Despite my unwillingness to assist you in certain specific ways, I do believe it is in my best interests to provide some form of general assistance.
XX: you sound so sinister when you say that. how can i trust you’re not some sort of russian spy?
I: How do you know what a Russian spy is?
XX: they’re the bad guys who always try to stop james bond. are you sure you aren’t some sort of seductress set up to trick me into revealing all my secrets?
I: My lord.
XX: …
XX: you aren’t, are you?
I: I’m sorry. The thought of anyone going through the trouble of seducing you for the sake of what secrets your mind conceals sent my mind adrift for a moment. I promise you I have not entered into this conversation with any intentions on your virtue or your encyclopedic knowledge of American cinema, which, unsurprisingly, has survived the removal of all useful knowledge from your memory.
XX: is that a good thing?
I: It was to be expected. Now, if you don’t mind, I will take my leave, as I do have responsibilities besides coddling amnesiac movie geeks. Do feel free to leave me a message if you have any questions, and I will promise to be as helpful as I am capable.
XX: ok. good luck!
No. I has ceased communicating with No. XX
You suspect that No. I was enjoying being unhelpful, although you CANNOT PROVE IT.
You glance around furtively, in case the FUZZ has decided to INVESTIGATE YOU, but luckily, the coast is clear. Your check your phone again, and the starred location of “home” BECKONS TO YOU.
==> Investigate!
“Home” turns out to be a basement apartment on a side street. The door is UNLOCKED, which is a good thing, as you do not know where you would be keeping your KEYS.
Inside is...something out of a real spy thriller, although you’re thinking it’s less James Bond and more Jason Bourne. There are a dozen PASSPORTS from six countries on the kitchen counter, aerial PHOTOGRAPHS of imposing buildings scattered across the table, and (this is the most worrying part) a full ARSENAL in the CLOSET.
You start to seriously wonder who you really are, and, for that matter, who XV and Lalonde are.
==>Get some answers!
No. XX made a request of Nannasprite
XX: i know you like a good laugh, but i really need to know what i’ve gotten myself into.
Nannasprite: Hoo Hoo!
XX: stop it. there are guns in here. i could get in a lot of trouble if someone found all this stuff! what am i doing with them anyway? i hate guns!
Nannasprite: Do you?
XX: see? that’s the sort of thing that’s worrying me. anyway, i’m pretty sure i’d know if i liked guns
Nannasprite: I’m only joshing with you, boy. I wouldn’t worry overmuch about it; the surveillance photos and fake passports are going to get you in at least as much trouble.
XX: …
Nannasprite: The reason I mention it is that what the authorities might think of your stockpile is going to be relevant very shortly.
XX: huh?
There is a violent KNOCKING at the door.
“Open up! Police!”