Chapter Text
“And this is Seokmin and that’s Chan and that’s Jun,” Seungkwan spoke fast as he introduced everyone to Jeonghan.
Jeonghan couldn’t comprehend the number of people in Joshua’s pack and, in particular, the number of people who were higher ranking wolves scared him. In his natal pack, he only had to deal with his brothers and the alpha female, here he had to deal with seven higher ranking wolves and an alpha female that clearly did not like him.
Jeonghan would have been lying if he said he wasn’t overwhelmed by everything. He wanted to curl up in a ball and just lay in bed like he used to back in his natal pack.
Oddly, he found himself missing his natal pack more now that he had left. It didn’t make much sense but Jeonghan assumed it was just because he didn’t like all the new that Joshua’s pack offered.
He didn’t really want to go back to his natal pack, he just wanted to go back to what was familiar.
No one in the pack had been treating him badly. Despite what Jeonghan had first thought and the clear hate from the alpha female and beta, the rest of the pack welcomes him with open arms. Even with the small displays of dominance from the mid-ranking wolves, Jeonghan didn’t feel threatened or unwelcome in any way.
Seungkwan had found Jeonghan a room that he could inhabit all by himself. It was small but Jeonghan didn’t mind. It was his own space with a comfy bed and all the amenities he didn’t really get back with his old pack.
After the very long tour (it was a huge house) and introducing him to everyone in the pack, the room had been their last stop. At the door, Seungkwan turned to him with a more serious look on his face than he had had on before.
“I understand that you probably came from a bad pack, judging from those scars,” Seungkwan paused, thinking of how to word his words, and Jeonghan rubbed them, a habit he couldn’t seem to drop.
“Some of us omega’s have come from bad packs too, so we won’t ask any questions or anything but if you need to talk we’re there. I hope you begin to feel more comfortable around here - we're really not a bad group of wolves," Seungkwan gave him a reassuring smile, nodded and then walked off before Jeonghan could thank him.
Jeonghan entered his room and stared at the empty walls, taking a minute to relax after such a busy day. He thought of all the wolves in the pack and all the names he’d have to learn. He knew the omega’s had worked together to get his room sorted and he would really have to thank them the next time he saw them.
He shook his head, knowing it wasn’t the time to be thinking about that. He needed to do everyone a favour and shower first. He had lost count of the number of days he’d spent in the woods with no proper sanitation – he knew he was dirty.
He got up and grabbed a towel from inside the wardrobe, picking up some comfy sweats and underwear as well before rummaging through the nightstand for a toothbrush.
Jeonghan peaked his head out of his door, making sure there were no other wolves around before making a beeline for the bathroom he knew was down the hallway. Thankfully he didn't run into anyone on the way there.
He enjoyed the long shower; the heat of the water was a luxury. He scrubbed himself clean before stepping out of the shower and changing into those comfy sweats that felt so soft compared to his old clothes which were rough and rigid with dirt and sweat - he knew he would have to throw them out, there was no way he could salvage them.
He brushed his teeth making sure his mouth no longer tasted weird before leaving the bathroom in hopes of running to his room but only to walk straight into the beta of the pack.
Immediately, Jeonghan lowered his head and a low whine escaped his lips without his permission when he saw the beta glare at him. The beta growled, pushed him back and spat, "Watch where you're going Omega."
Jeonghan didn't dare look up and instead choosing to scurry back to his room where he closed the door as fast as he could, turning the lock quicker than lightning, before sliding down to the floor his heart beating a million miles per hour and his breathing laboured. It was safe to say that Jeonghan was scared - no, terrified - of the beta.
Jeonghan just knew that the beta did not like him and so Jeonghan reminded himself to stay out of his way.
After taking a minute to calm down, his breathing evened out, but his heart would not stop beating fast and he could still hear the blood rushing in his ears. Jeonghan was familiar with these feelings, he would experience them every time he limped away into some corner in the woods to tend to his wounds usually inflicted by his brothers.
The wolf and human sides of his brothers never mixed well, and it was always clear that his brothers used it to sometimes hurt him for the fun of it or out of spite. Even his one brother, the beta, was the same even though Jeonghan's wolf side always told him that the beta was the one who was supposed to be the one who wouldn't pick on him and at least offer him some protection.
Jeonghan just knew that his brothers weren't gifted with the ability to be both a wolf and a human, they were cursed with it but just never realised it.
A frantic knock on the door pulled Jeonghan from his thoughts. It sounded muffled with his heart still beating so fast and the blood rushing in his ears, but he still managed to hear it, stand up, unlock the door and answer it.
Standing in the doorway were a worried looking Seungkwan, the mid-ranking wolf he remembered was named Chan and Joshua, all of them staring at him. He immediately recoiled from their gaze.
"Are you okay?" surprisingly it was Chan that had asked the question. Jeonghan was caught off guard, not expecting the wolf he didn’t know to care. He just nodded, hoping they would believe he was fine, but none of them looked convinced.
"Your heart is beating really fast and it's really loud for the rest of us," Seungkwan said, the worried expression never leaving his face. "I would be able to hear it from a mile away. Are you sure you're okay?"
The three of them continued to stare him down and his heart, which had barely just started to calm down, started beating faster again. If it was only Seungkwan asking, he’d have been able to lie. Unfortunately, it wasn't just Seungkwan, it was also Chan and, of course, Joshua.
Joshua the wolf that took him in. Joshua the alpha of the pack. Joshua the highest-ranking wolf that he couldn't lie to as the lowest ranking wolf.
Jeonghan stole a glance at Joshua and he inwardly shuddered at the look of seriousness on Joshua’s face. Jeonghan had been staring at Seungkwan, and occasionally looking at Chan, who had been looking at him with a soft expression and a small smile - an inviting look, trying to get Jeonghan to trust him.
Joshua, on the other hand, had a hard look on his face. Jeonghan noticed that around the other wolves Joshua always kept a small air of authority around himself. His face was completely devoid of expression, but his eyes betrayed him.
One look at his eyes and Jeonghan knew he was just as concerned as the other two wolves.
Jeonghan usually wouldn't lie to any wolf of a higher ranking than him, especially not an alpha, but Jeonghan didn't want them to worry about him too much - he didn't want to become a burden as he had been for his natal pack. So, naturally, Jeonghan chose to tell a little white lie.
"I'm fine. I just got a little shock when I came out of the bathroom and bumped in the beta. I'm not really used to living with so many people and I'm not used to all the newness of everything," Jeonghan couldn't look any of them in the eye as he told his white lie, knowing his face would give away the facade, opting to look at his feet instead.
Jeonghan hoped it looked to the wolves like he was still shy and unsure about the whole place and it didn’t look like he was lying to them. It worked like a charm.
Seungkwan gave him a look of pity that was mirrored on Chan's face as well. It made Jeonghan's insides churn, an unbearable feeling in his stomach when he thought about them pitying him. They didn't need to pity him, he deserved most of what he had gotten from his natal pack – after all he was the omega, the lowest of the low.
Jeonghan knew that some of his earlier, deeper scars, the ones that were usually hidden by his clothes were from wounds he had sustained attempting to fight against his brothers. He had been younger back then; he hadn't realised the futility of his actions and he had fought a losing battle from the very beginning.
Jeonghan hadn't seen it then but they were more like the humans that lived in the cities, the ones that only presented as alpha, beta or omega and weren't burdened with the ability to transform.
In the cities, the humans presented as either alpha, beta or omega and they were stuck with that title for the rest of their lives. Jeonghan had realised that wolves that had the ability to transform were exactly the same. You were either naturally born an alpha, beta, and omega and you fought for your place as either one of those titles to consolidate your fate, but you had very little chance to change that fate.
Once you accepted that role as a pup, that choice determined everything for you for the rest of your life and so Jeonghan didn't need their pity or deserve it. He was where he was today, scars and all, because of who he was and his own choices. Nothing could change that.
His words had had the desired effect on Seungkwan and Chan even if he resented the pity. Joshua, however, still did not look convinced and was now looking at him with narrowed, calculating eyes.
Jeonghan should have known he couldn't pull the rug over his eyes and for a second it seemed that Joshua was going to say something but then a voice called out from behind them in a long and drawled out way, "Joshua."
The three men turned to look at the owner of the voice. Jieun, the alpha female and Joshua's mate, was stood there batting her eyes at the alpha. She was in a much smarter get up than she had been when Jeonghan last saw her. She had ditched the very dirty apron for a pink pantsuit that didn't entirely seem suitable for house wear but either way she had dressed to impress and it wasn't gone unnoticed by Joshua who commented on how pretty she looked as he walked to her and slid his hand around her waist, pulling her close to his side.
She returned the compliment with a sickeningly sweet smile that, to Jeonghan, almost seemed borderline smug but Jeonghan thought he must have just been reading into things. After placing a short kiss on Joshua's lips, she turned to the other two men, as if only just realising they were there.
"Why were you all standing in...," she trailed off, apparently forgetting Jeonghan's name and instead choosing to vaguely gesture towards him until Seungkwan filled the blank in for her. "Right, why were you all standing in Jeonghwans doorway?" Jeonghan doesn't know whether she was deaf and just didn't hear Seungkwan tell her his name or if she was purposefully getting his name wrong to get on his nerves.
If it was the latter then she was definitely getting on his nerves because Jeonghan almost rolled his eyes when he heard her get his name wrong. Almost. He would have done it had it not been for Joshua firmly correcting Jieun with a disapproving look like he knew she was just trying to test Jeonghan.
She smiled apologetically and corrected herself one last time, "I'm sorry, Jeonghan." She spat his name out between gritted teeth and a sweet, obviously fake, smile. Jeonghan knew she didn't like him but why she didn't like him was beyond him.
"We were just checking to see if he was okay and settling in well," Chan answered and Jieun just nodded.
"Ah, I see. Well, we wouldn't want our new pack mate to feel unwelcome, especially not in my household." Jieun spoke with a smile and a cheery voice but there was a slight edge to her tone.
There seemed to be something hidden behind that facade of loving mate and caring alpha female that it seemed that, oddly enough, only Jeonghan could pick up on because every time she finished speaking he looked at the other wolves to gauge their reactions but they didn't seem to notice any hostility at all or if they did they ignored it.
"Dinner is ready by the way. You're all welcome to help yourselves, although I've accidentally only made enough for our usual number of wolves and forgot to factor in Jeonghan. Hopefully, another wolf is willing to share."
Chan and Seungkwan were both silent and Jeonghan understood. Jeonghan knew that no sane wolf would be willing to share their meal with another wolf, much a less a completely new addition to the pack who was also an omega. It just wasn't something wolves did.
Wolves in the wild never shared food and the high-ranking wolves always got to eat first. Everyone in Joshua's pack was already compromising with their inner wolf in order to share the same amount of food for everyone no matter what their status was - there was no more room for compromise between the human and the wolf and Jeonghan totally understood. If he had to go one more night without food then he didn't really mind. Chan and Seungkwan looked guiltily at Jeonghan but Jeonghan just smiled to assure them.
"It's completely fine. One more night without food won't kill me," Jeonghan smiled at them again, trying to reassure them but his comments just seemed to make them feel more guilty.
He could see their inner selves debating, tearing at each other but Jeonghan knew wolf instinct always won over human thoughts and feelings. The only time Jeonghan knew a wolf would willingly give up their food for another wolf is if that wolf was elderly or that wolf was their mate. It looked like Chan and Seungkwan were going through a mental breakdown while Jieun smiled to herself as she stood beside Joshua who as usual had a neutral look on his face.
This Joshua was different from the Joshua that had told him to stay and join his pack. Jeonghan ushered the two wolves on as he heard another wolf call out that dinner was ready, giving them no more time to stand there and fight with themselves. Jeonghan watched wistfully as the four wolves walked away.
He could last without food for one more day. It was only one more day. He had gone longer without food in his old pack - this was nothing. Jeonghan tried to trick his body - in particular, his wolf - into accepting that they weren't going to eat and that it was fine.
It was easier to get his body to understand that he wasn't going to eat and even though his stomach continued to rumble horribly everything was okay. His wolf was a lot harder to calm down.
The smell of the food wafted in through his open door and into his room, surrounding him with the delightful aroma. His wolf wanted to follow the smell and get some food but Jeonghan knew he couldn't. The best he could do was splash his face with cold water, close his bedroom door and lay in bed. It wasn't until he was in bed that he realised how tired he was, and it wasn't long before exhaustion took over him and he fell off to sleep.
Jeonghan woke to the savoury smell of food and the sound of his door closing. First, he looked out the window to see it was pitch black outside and the clock on the wall told him it was late, approaching midnight.
Then, Jeonghan looked to his nightstand and saw the plate of food that was set there. The wolf in him made him reach out and grab the plate. It was a huge plate and whoever had left the plate there for him had already eaten half the food. Jeonghan was grateful, staring down at the meal for a few seconds before finally deciding to scarf it down with no regrets.
Jeonghan wondered who had left half their food there for him to eat. It was surprising because wolves never shared their food unless for the elderly or for their mate, both of which Jeonghan was not and so he couldn't really understand the gesture.
Either way, Jeonghan's wolf was overjoyed and every time Jeonghan thought about the mystery person behind the plate of food, he could feel his wolf want to roll over and give himself to whoever it was - who knew his wolf was so easy to please.