Chapter Text
“Are you ready to go yet?” Loki complained, loudly, again.
“Almost!” Bruce shouted back, finishing up what was left of his packing. He looked around the room he’d been staying in since he’d become an Avenger, the entire floor had been his at one point, but since more people were joining, the demand for rooms had gone up. There was an Ant-man and a Spider-Man, and a Wasp! What was with all the bug themes? Maybe he and hulk could have been the, uh… Bruce thought for a moment, but was unable to think of a large green bug famous for its strength so instead he just kinda settled on The Radioactive Cockroach: just try and kill me bitch. In case anyone asked.
Of course there was also hope that even more people could join up, boost their numbers since the two strongest Avengers likely wouldn’t be around much. Traveling through space made it difficult to be around in times of specific planetary crisis, but they’d be in call at least.
So Tony had declared this floor the Science-nerd floor, and Thor’s old floor the Asgard floor. Bruce has been allowed to pick which one he wanted to stay during their visits to earth and he’d chosen the share a room with Thor, much to his boyfriends delight, and Tony’s kid, one of the bug people, was going to take his room. He seemed a little too excited for that and Tony had responded by faking a hurt look and then telling him everything he didn’t take with him would be moved upstairs, or stolen by the kid.
Clearing his mind and making sure the room was empty, Bruce made sure he grabbed his favorite poster and rolled it up, stuffing it into his bag before he exited the room to see an annoyed Loki.
“It’s about time, if Thor hadn’t declared me your temporary babysitter I would have left without you.”
“I know Loki.” Bruce said, walking alongside his friend as they left the tower. He looked back on it, and said a mental goodbye.
“I’m not kidding, seriously. With how long you took, one would think you were leaving something important behind. But honestly this planet is probably one of the worst we’ve had the displeasure of-“
“Oh! Look who it is!” Bruce interrupted Loki’s daily tirade and pointed to the corner of the street where a well-kept, if oddly dressed man had been standing, clearly waiting for someone.
Bruce grinned as Loki froze up and started to blush, “Don’t. Go. Anywhere.” He growled and then stormed his way over to the man. They seemed to be in a heated argument when suddenly one was pulling the other into an even more heated kiss.
As they pulled apart Loki seemed to whisper something and handed Strange an Asgardian device. Probably something he’d whipped up himself.
As Loki walked back over, Bruce whistled and wiggled his eyebrows. “So you really do have one on every planet huh? Wonder what the grandmaster would say if he knew-“
“Oh shut up! I don’t want to hear that from you, the guy who’s fuc-“
“There you two are!” they had turned the corner to see a large, functioning ship being refueled. Thor and Heimdall were standing before it and Valkyrie was helping other Asgardians to load it back up.
“Thor!” Bruce smiled, jogging up to meet his boyfriend, he placed a soft kiss on his cheek as greeting and said hello to Heimdall as well. Heimdall merely inclined his head.
“Are we good to leave yet?” Loki asked, nagging yet again.
“Soon brother,” Thor said, “But first, you are not the only one that wishes to make goodbyes”
Ignoring Loki’s blush, Thor nodded at Tony as he jogged towards the group.
“Hey guys, sorry I’m late. I wanted to make sure all the paperwork was set in stone before letting you all leave.” He smiled, it came out slightly crooked. “The last thing we want is you not being able to visit, even with the whole-...”
Tony sighed and scratched at the back of his neck, “Listen Bruce, I am really sorry about everything… If there was some way, well, someway other than sending you back into space to make sure that piece of shit never gets the opportunity to lay eyes on you again, I’d do it.”
Bruce just nodded, it was the third time he’d heard the same speech, multiple fellow Avengers all seemed to think that his volunteering to go with Thor and the other Asgardians back into space (and away from Midgard) was some kind of banishment, or even a punishment.
The truth however? Bruce has never felt so at home before in his life. And if given the option of staying here on Midgard and going back out to space with his incredibly attractive boyfriend…. well it really was a no brainer. In fact, Hulk has been adamant they “stay with tiny boyfriend. Protect Blondie” and Bruce couldn’t help but agree.
Next time Thor can be the one kidnapped by an obsessive stalker and they can be the knight in shining armor. If Hulk could still fit into his old Sakaar gladiator gear that is.
Hulk not fat, Banner just extra puny recently.
Bruce smiled.
He looked over at Thor and took his hand in his own, locking their fingers together and holding them palm to palm. He could feel the thrum of the electricity in Thor’s veins and it comforted him. Thor smiled and squeezed his hand back before lifting it entirely un-subtly and pressing a chaste kiss to his knuckles that had Bruce chuckling.
Of course that only spurred Thor on and he continued his kisses up his arm, being goofier and grander with each one until they were both a mess of giggles and had forgotten entirely about literally everything.
Like the people around them.
“Ugh, get a room you creeps.” Loki interrupted, cupping his hand around his mouth as if to be extra sure they heard.
Bruce and Thor just laughed more, Bruce winking at Thor before they turned the flirting up another notch, Thor dipping Bruce as he dramatically held an arm across his forehead as of a faint southern belle.
“Oh Thor-“
“Alright Already!!” Tony was holding back his laughter, Bruce knew he was. They were hilarious.
“As much as we all love making Loki massively uncomfortable. And we do. I still need to know, Bruce,”
Tony’s eyes were serious, “are you sure you’re okay with this? You don’t have to leave, none of you do”
Bruce just smiled, “yeah Tony, I’m sure.”
Tony didn’t look completely convinced. Fair enough, Bruce did tend towards the easiest path, go with the flow, keep your head down type stuff. But Hulk wasn’t like that at all, and he’d learned a lot in the time they were able to communicate.
“It’s kinda funny Tony, but, Ross was this big bad monster under my bed for a long time, and he probably still will be for an even longer time… but,” he met Thor’s eyes, and then Loki’s and Heimdall’s and Val’s and continued looking around at everyone else, those standing to watch the spectacle, those packing and moving back into the ship, even those just going about normally, “but I’m not alone anymore, and- and frankly Tony, he doesn’t scare me anymore.”
Tony smiled properly this time, “okay, I wish you luck Brucie,” he slapped his shoulder and pointed at Thor, “you take care of my boy, ya hear me poindexter? He’s too good for you!”
Then he jogged off and disappeared into the crowd.
“Are we ready to leave yet?”
“Loki, shut up”
“Yeah Loki, why are you in such a hurry anyways?” Bruce asked, genuinely curious.
Loki’s eyes shifted and he shrugged, “No reason”
4 hours earlier
Loki had created a double of himself to keep his brother (and pretty much anyone that wasn’t Heimdall) from getting suspicious and slipped away from the hustle and bustle of Asgardians packing to leave.
Loki has been getting tired of this particular planet anyways, Thracknar 7 had been far more fun, and there had been much less kidnapping. Almost none in fact.
He headed towards the one place on Midgard where he spent more time than the compound they’d been living out of and knocked on the door. Strange answered.
“It’s about time you showed up, me and Wong had a bet”
“Oh? Am I to assume you know why I’m here then?”
Strange just smiled.
He walked into the sanctuary and Strange spared no time whisking them away to their true destination.
Looks like he did know.
All Loki had to do was slip into the room unnoticed, and speak to the man sitting at the big fancy desk. He wasn’t someone Loki had seen before, but judging by how pathetic and smarmy he looked Loki had no doubt they were in the right place, and that this bastard was the one he was looking for.
The man looked up in surprise and, oh, was that fear? Excellent.
“How did you get in here! I have wards-“
“Oh please mortal, my brother may be dumb as a rock, but I assure you us deities are not so easily trifled with.”
Loki didn’t know anything about any wards, so he simply assumed either Strange had already dealt with them for him, or the human Ross trusted to protect him had bailed properly and left him high and dry on his own. Either way worked for him really.
“Wha-what do you want? You can’t do anything to me! I work for the president! I’m the secre-“
“Blah, Blah blah blah… that is all I hear coming out of your mouth you know. Which is weird, since I’m speaking allspeak. But alas.” He sat down on the edge of the humans desk, twirling his knife around in his hands and using elegant and precise movements to impress and impose. The knife was one of his favorites, a thin silver blade decorated with a slithering green snake that seemed to move when twisted in just the right way. The reflection of the green design danced on the complexion of his prey, and Loki grinned.
“But I do think I got something, yadda yadda, you can’t hurt me…. rules… blah blah blah. Right?” He said, looking the human straight in his eyes.
He just nodded, a stiff, uncomfortable movement.
“But that is where you are wrong, mortal. You see, unlike my brother, the King who is bound in rules and treaties and serving his people, I?” He three the knife and it sliced cleanly through the cartilage of Ross’ ear before becoming imbedded in the wall behind him,
“I am the god of Mischief”
The human’s eyes widened.
“And I play by no rules but my own.”
After that lovely discussion Loki had slipped back into the day’s departure proceedings and urged the group to leave, hopefully before any of the avengers find out exactly what he had been up to earlier. He even exchanged communication devices with Strange in case the man ever needed help… or something.
Of course Banner completely misinterpretated their talk as some kind of emotional goodbye. It wasn’t. Loki wasn’t a school girl with a crush and he certainly wouldn’t get caught up by a Midgardian of all-
“Wait!” Thor shouted as he made to get on the ship, Loki found himself in a crushing bear hug before he was dropped back down and his oaf of a brother patted him in the back, “okay, we’re good to go Loki’s actually here now”
Loki just rolled his eyes, as he often did, and followed his oblivious brother onto the ship.
However, there was one other person that Loki was certain did know, and that? That was definitely Heimdall’s I’m proud of you look.