Chapter Text
They said nothing is worse than death, but Wonwoo proved that living is definitely worse than death. After that fateful day in the hospital, Wonwoo lost all will to live-he resigned from his work, gave up his apartment, and if his friends didn’t keep him in theirs, he would probably be living in the cemetery that Jun is right now. It’s been a year now and Wonwoo looks like a living corpse, and his two friends doesn’t know what to do with him anymore.
They did everything that they could do for him, but it was all for naught, Wonwoo was the one who doesn’t want to help himself. Soonyoung and Jihoon were at their wit’s end when Seokmin, a coworker of Jihoon, recommended a therapist, Yoon Jeonghan. Jeonghan runs a group for grieving individuals, and if it weren’t for the fact that Soonyoung and Jihoon were both desperate, they wouldn’t have forced Wonwoo to attend a group session knowing that Wonwoo won’t be the type to talk to strangers about his feelings. But when they individually caught Wonwoo trying to end his life, they were left with no choice.
Wonwoo, as expected, didn’t want to attend such group activity. He did everything, from promising both of his friends that he’ll be better, to throwing tantrums, but the couple hardened their heart against their heartbroken friend-they were counting on this being able to help their friend so they had to play the bad cop.
It was a Saturday morning that Soonyoung drove Wonwoo to his first session. The latter was all pout and gloom and if it weren’t for the somber mood, the former would endlessly tease the other right now.
“Wonwoo be good please, just attend a few sessions, you never know if this would bring something good for you,” Soonyoung pleaded with the younger but he just ignored him. Gathering his things, Wonwoo got out of the car and slammed the door, without a look back he entered the imposing building. Soonyoung wished with all his hearts that maybe this time, Wonwoo could finally start to move on from their friend’s death.
Wonwoo just stepped into the building and he already hates it. Looking at the white walls and the smell of antiseptic, he is reminded of the hospital and he already wants to get out of this place. He was just about to do that when someone pulled lightly on his arm, stopping him from running out.
“Hello mister, are you new here?” a gentle voice said from beside him.
Wonwoo looked at the person who stopped him and saw a taller guy with tan skin, his hair carelessly ruffled and a smile on his face, something totally out of place to the solemn place. He looked like he belong to a tropical paradise with the way he looks, and aside from the huge “VOLUNTEER” word on his shirt and the hospital-like quality of the building, Wonwoo would have thought he entered the wrong place.
But even with that warm smile, Wonwoo sneered at the other guy. “Isn’t it obvious already? Let go of my hand sir, I’m just about to go out.”
“Hmmmm, but you just got here? Lemme show you the way to Dr. Yoon’s place first, we always get people who would chicken out at first sight when they come here, but that’s normal. The first step to the grieving process is always the hardest.” The taller guy said with a smile on his face, as if forcing individuals is normal for him and the rest of the world.
“Stop! I don’t want to go there! I’m just about to go home, I don’t wanna be here in the first place!”
“Sir, please cooperate with me. I’m not a bad person, promise! I’ll just bring you to Dr. Yoon so that you would be informed about the activities of the group, and if you really want to go out after, I won’t force you anymore and I’ll even escort you out,” the other man said but it’s obvious that Wonwoo doesn’t have any choice, having been living like a living corpse for a year, he loss the pitiful amount of muscle mass he has and the other guy clearly towers over him and have a bigger built, making whatever pitiful attempt he make seems like an ant fighting a dinosaur.
Wonwoo was then pulled to a room on the far right of the hall which has a totally different exterior than the rest. It was designed with colorful stickers and pictures, a door fit for a child rather than a doctor’s room, giving the hall a somewhat happier vibe. He wonders if the man who is pulling him is actually part of the psychiatric ward and is not actually a volunteer here.
“Doctor Yoon, a new man graces your harem,” the man singsonged as he opened the door, not even knocking before entering, and Wonwoo is seriously thinking of his chances of getting away. He can’t believe he had been duped by another man. Clearly this is another one of Soonyoung’s prank!
“Mingyu, how many times should I tell you that the group is not my harem and that you shouldn’t just come and go in my office? Think about what it must have look like to the people around you!” a honey voice admonished(?) the man who was pulling Wonwoo.When Wonwoo had the guts to see who had talk he was shocked.
In front of him was a very good looking guy with blond hair, chiseled face, and a calming presence, with the way the man was looj, he would not be out place if he was placed together with a group of models. He wonders if this place has a requirement to be good looking to be even admitted here as an employee or a volunteer.
“And who might you be?” the blond addressed Wonwoo. Wonwoo still can’t speak and look at the beautiful man.
“This is clear discrimination! Why didn’t you look at me like that when you first saw me? Clearly I’m more handsome than Dr. Yoon!” a whiny voice said, breaking Wonwoo from his reverie.
“Excuse me Kim Mingyu, you better not be scaring the man with your words. Shoo! Go away!” the blond man, or Dr. Yoon as the man who forced him to come here called him, said. He is making the other man go away just like a dad, and Wonwoo doesn’t know why, but he just found this especially so he let out a few giggles.
The two men stopped their antics and looked at him strangely. Wonwoo felt self-conscious as they continued to stare at him. Dr. Yoon finally snapped out of it and let out a few coughs. “Mingyu, just go out for now and help Joshua with the ongoing group right now, please.”
The other man hesitated to go out but with a glare from the blond doctor, he finally went out, but not without another look at Wonwoo. Wonwoo could see that Dr. Yoon heaved a sigh of relief when the taller one went out and gave a tentative smile to Wonwoo.
“I’m really sorry about the oversized puppy that just went out, he means well, but he’s overtly excited a lot of times. Were you forced by him to come inside?”
“Ummm… Yeah… “ Wonwoo said.
“I’m sorry, you might be overwhelmed right now. Why don’t you take a seat first?” the doctor asked while gesturing to the seat at the side of his table. Wonwoo robotically walked to the seat and sat down.
“Why don’t you tell me about your name first and why you came here?” the man gently asked.
“I’m Jeon Wonwoo, and my friend forced me to go here? I mean yeah, he dropped me in front of your building and said I need to talk to people, real people, so here I am,” Wonwoo briefly explained, not looking at the man in front of him, instead he looked around the room.
He could confidently say that this was not what he expected when his friend told him he need to go to therapy. He expected to see white walls, antiseptic smell, and an old person forcing him to open up at the first second that he enters the room. He never thought that he’ll see a room that reminds him of a daycare center and a young man greeting him that looked to be to good to be true.
“Ah, so you’re Mr. Jeon. Seokmin told me about you! First of all, I’m sorry for your loss, it’s never easy losing someone we love...” As Jeonghan continued to talk, he didn't notice that the light in Wonwoo's eyes started to dim until all that was left was a blank gaze. Why 0he thought that this doctor would be different than the others, he doesn't know, but now Wonwoo knows the truth, this Dr. Jeonghan or whatever is the same as the others.
"I'm sorry for interrupting, but I would go now," Wonwoo said without any emotion in his face and stood up.
"I'm sorry Mr. Jeon for talking all this while, do you want any drinks?"
"No thank you, I really need to go out now, sorry for making you waste your time."
"Mr. Jeon wait!" Wonwoo heard Jeonghan say behind him but he continued to walk away. He doesn't want to talk to anyone anymore. He just want to go where Jun is, where his love is, he wants to end it all.