Chapter Text
“Cheers, darling!” Freddie chirps triumphantly, downing his champagne glass within a few moments.
The others clinked their glasses and drank them in the same manner of excitement. After weeks and weeks of laboring, their little project A Night at the Opera had been completed. All their clothing was hastily stuffed in boxes, their instruments were in their cases, and everything they had brought with them was stored away in some shape or manner. They were set to leave tomorrow morning, and the four were ecstatic.
”Cheers to no more days in the basement!” Deaky announced, pouring himself another glass.
”Cheers to no longer being afraid to stay in the shower for longer than five minutes because of bugs!” Roger smiles, his eyes filled with genuine relief.
”No more creaky, creepy haunted house doors.” Brian snorts, holding up his drink. They all bellowed with laughter, breaking into merriment and more cheering.
After the gaiety has died down a bit, the four sat there in comfortable silence. Everyone had wordlessly acknowledged how happy they were to finally finish the album, and thus didn’t feel the need to say any words. That is, until John got an idea.
“How about we go out with a bang?” John suggested. Brian raised his eyebrow in intrigue. It was rare to see a Roger-sounding statement come from Deaky. “How about we do one thing on the farm that we wanted to do, but we never had the chance or nerve to do.”
“Ride the tractor!” Roger shrieked, standing up promptly. Ever since their first day here, he had been begging to ride the tractor, but it was always shut down by the others.
”No.” Brian states.
”C’mon, Brian. It’s our last day here.” Roger whines, hands dropping to his sides.
”Have you ever driven a tractor? You’re gonna kill us all.” Brian sneers, swirling his drink. Roger pouts in reply.
”Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?” Roger begs, tugging at Brian’s shirt. “I even brought the cowboy hats from our tour of America.”
”Can’t argue with that. The man has cowboy hats.” Deaky nods. Brian groans, placing down his drink.
”Fine. The minute I hear something crack, however, I’m getting off.” Brian relents, earning a happy squeal from Roger.
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The four men stood in the musty, weather-worn barn eyeing the rusty tractor. The thing looked like it hadn’t been turned on for years. The vehicle was almost completely rust, with splotches of peeling green paint here or there. The tires were caked in countless years of dirt and mud, and the actual wheel was covered in dust and cobwebs.
”You want me to go in that pile of crust and take a ride? Look if you want to ride the tractor so bad you can just—“
”—no! I wanna ride the tractor.” Roger whines, sounding like a petulant twelve year old. Roger hopped up onto the ripped leather seat, a concerning rattle coming from the truck. The other three groaned, but they followed Roger and climbed on behind him.
The four were uncomfortably squished together, like books on a shelf; none of them even had an inch to themselves.
Roger turned the old, dusty key only to hear a sad puttering from the engine. He turned it again, smiling when he heard a promising rumble— which only lasted a view moments and before the engine sputtered out again.
”Bloody hell.” Roger curses, earning a snort from John. He squeezes past Brian and gets out of the tractor, eyeing the engine. He intelligently decides to kick the hood of the tractor.
”Roger what are you doing?” Freddie calls, sticking his head out the half-open door.
”Fixing the tractor!”
Brian sighs. “So you just expect to kick the tractor a few times for it to just spring to life?”
Roger skips back into the vehicle, turning the ignition and awaiting the car’s response. After a series of crackling noises, the car—for lack of a better term—sprung to life. Roger looked at Brian smugly, a wide, amused grin tracing his lips.
”I refuse to give you any sort of satisfaction by saying I was wrong.” Brian says simply. Roger laughs before getting his hands on the wheel and stomping on the pedal dramatically.
”Here we go!” He yelled, excitedly. The tractor proceeded to move at an achingly slow pace. Roger’s smile quickly began to melt into something less amused. Why was the tractor going so slow?
”You know I didn’t expect tractors to be like say, a Rolls Royce, but it didn’t expect it to be this tedious.” Freddie hums, eyeing his fingernails in boredom.
”Can’t this hunk of junk go any faster?” Deaky asks, leaning over Brian to see what Roger was seeing.
Roger hummed, hitting the brake and pondering as he perused the dashboard. His face lit up when he realized the problem; the tractor was set on the slowest speed. Roger cranked up the lever all the way up to where it said On Road in gleaming red letters. Slamming on the pedal, they were soon racing through the field at a thunderous speed.
Everyone was screaming and laughing joyfully as Roger rapidly turned the wheel, creating donuts in the middle of the field. When they finally stopped making circles, Roger approached an incoming hill, earning a worried look from Brian.
”Okay, Roger, that was fun, but maybe we shouldn’t—“
Though Roger was long gone. The engine rattled and roared as it scaled up the hillside. Roger pressed harder onto the pedal, launching them off the top of the hill. For a good moment, the tractor was flying through the air, as the three terrified members screamed for their lives. The tractor crashed onto the ground, sending a jolt through all of their spines.
”Can I get a yeehaw?” Roger bellowed, turning the tractor a sharp right after almost hitting the house.
”Can I get a break before Deaky loses his lunch?” Freddie screeched, holding John’s head on his shoulder. He looked like he was going to either pass out or vomit.
Roger snorted, but he soon realized that Freddie was very serious. He placed his foot on the brake, pressing down only to find that the brake wasn’t moving. He stomped on it repeatedly, cursing loudly when the tractor didn’t stop.
”Why isn’t this bloody tractor stopping?!” Brian yelled, turning to face Roger.
”The fucking brakes are stuck!” Roger screamed in reply. The tractor was thrusting headfirst toward a large tree, accompanied by the screams and hollers of all four members, along with Deaky’s ill groaning noises. Brian realized that the only way to avoid crashing into a tree and knocking their brains out, they would have to jump.
”We have to jump!” Brian yelled.
”WHAT?!” Freddie and Roger screeched in unison.
”Like some sort of action hero? Like... like James Bond? This isn’t a movie, Brian!” Freddie cries, holding onto John for dear life.
Brian kicked open the door, leaping out of his seat onto the muddy grass. Roger went after that, and Freddie and John jumped out together. The feral tractor lurched into the tree, completely totaling under pressure. The front of the car was completely folded and damaged, and the tree crashed on top of the vehicle for extra measure. The four sat there, on the dew-ridden at a loss for breath as well as words.
Brian speaks up first. “That is the last time we ever do anything that Roger says we should do for fun.” The other Freddie and John nodded, and Roger even let out a little ‘That’s fair.’.
”Okay, but, if we leave quick enough, do you think they’ll even notice the tractor is gone?” John asked. The four members looked around the field. The place was covered in tire tracks and uprooted plants. The feathers and fur of terrified animals running were speckled throughout the entire field, and of course there was the tractor itself, crashed and smoking against a tree.
”...We can just say robbers did it.” John adds on, and the others nod and agree.
Besides, they’d probably pay for it in album profits anyway.