Chapter Text
The sound of rain still pounded against the back of Elain’s mind as she was chased from her slumber by the vision masked as a dream.
A storm was coming.
She huffed a sigh as she dragged herself out of bed and began to dress for the day. It seems pants might be a better option for today. Rain makes dresses heavier. Better to get started with her chores sooner rather than later, she thought.
She made her way down the stairs, fingers briefly dancing across the many indoor plants she kept as she walked by. Elain began to think about the long list of chores she needed to do. Back when she lived in the mortal realm, servants, maids and farm hands always took care of the mundane chores. She’d never even touched a washboard; even after her father had lost his fortune, she had never been stuck with many chores. When they were poor she left them all to Feyre.
The thought still made her gut clench in guilt. Though Feyre has said on many occasions that all was forgiven, Elain couldn’t help feel that twinge of guilt at how idle she’d been. Content with knowing Feyre would either come back with a successful kill for them to eat, or for them to starve another night.
It had never even dawned on her to ask Feyre for vegetable seed packets. It had never crossed her mind that with her green thumb she could grow enough food for them to not have to starve every night.
How selfish she had been. So preoccupied with her own comfort that she couldn’t see how much strain she and Nesta were putting on their youngest sister.
Now, Elain pushes the dark thoughts laced with guilt and remorse to the back of her mind. Ever since she moved out of Feyre and Rhy’s townhouse, she’s realized keeping up a home is quite a bit of work. There’s Laundry and sweeping to do. Not to mention washing dishes and carrying for her garden.
Feyre had asked if she would hire a maid or butler, but Elain had turned down the offer. It was time she truly became independent. It was time she learned how to actually care for herself.
Usually, Azriel would help her a bit or stop by just to have a quick chat, but he’s been gone for a week now. Another riot started in the Illiryan steeps and the bat brothers, as Nesta so affectionately calls them, went to dismantle it.
So Elain was once again left alone with her thoughts.
The first thing she decided to do, was the dishes from her supper last night. Summer squash soup and wild rice. It didn’t take her long, and she soon found herself sweeping the dust and grass from her back porch.
On the horizon, she noticed, were a thick band of dark storm clouds circling the city.
Yes, it would be a bad storm indeed. She sighed and propped her broom up against the side of the house before going inside with thoughts of a glass of water on her mind.
It wasn't until she passed the ash and soot-filled fireplace on the way to the kitchen did she notice the pitiful lonely log left in the basket.
Drat, she’d need to chop more firewood. There’s no way she could last the storm and keep warm on one log of wood.
Not to mention that she would definitely need to clean out the pit later. She just tacked that thought onto the long chore list in the back of her head. But this was in need of immediate attention.
After gulping down a glass of water Elain marched back outside and surveyed her surroundings. Nothing but bare, empty flower beds and a small tool shed, she thought with a grimace. Since when did she neglect such fantastic garden potential this long?
Since a certain shadow singer started popping up
She shooed the pesky thought away. No use in thinking such things. They will only bring complications.
Elain made her way to the shed and pushed the rusted door open. The smell of musky old wood and moss settled around her like a shaw, reminding her of Az-
She shut the thought up like she slammed the shed door behind her, arms laden with a heavy ax and gloves. Earlier that week, Cassian had dropped off two tree trunk slices readily to be split into smaller, burnable, logs.
Easy enough Elain thought. all she had to do was split one. That would give her plenty of wood to cook with and keep her warm through the night. As she prepared herself to begin chopping, pulling on gloves and figuring out how to grip the ax, her thoughts slowly drifted back to the shadow singer of the Night court.
Mother, she thought. It would be wise for her not to think of him so much. Az was such a dear friend. He’s always been her rock since she was brought to the Faerie realm. So her crush would do nothing but ruin things…
Right?
As the chilly Autumn wind swept by and flung a hand full of leaves from the lemon tree overhead, Elain gripped her ax and brought it up above her head. With a grunt she brought it down and heard a satisfying thump.
When she opened her eyes she realized that thump was the sound of the ax getting wedged in the lush green earth. Shed completely missed the log. With a sigh and a lot of tugging, she ripped the ax head from the round. Clumps of dark brown dirt fell from its sharp edges like leaves from the lemon tree overhead.
Ok, let’s try this again.
She heaved the ax over her head once again and brought it down with all her strength on the wood. It just skimmed the log. A pitiful twig peeling off.
Elain sighed. At this rate, she's going to freeze to death and have cold stew for dinner. She took another deep breath. No matter, she thought. I’ll get it soon enough if I keep trying.
Half an hour and 5 attempts later, Elain had managed to butcher half the trunk into 5 pieces of wood. Alas, she hadn’t managed to squelch the murmurs in her head. Somehow her mind always managed to wander back towards a certain shadow singer. She wondered how his mission was going. Was it dangerous or benign? Was it cold where he was? Is he warm enough?
Calderon, she was worrying like a mother hen. He’s more than capable to handle himself.
With a huff, Elain gathered all the longs in her arms and carried them inside. Thank the cauldron her enhanced strength, or else she'd have to carry them in one at a time. She paused at that thought. Shed never exactly viewed her being turned Fea a good thing before. Had she come to terms with it in the years since the war? Yes, slowly but surely. With the help of Azriel who offered her quiet friendship.
The rest of her family helped too, Feyre, Cassian, Mor. They all healed together. Except for Nesta, who had gone to Illyria. To this day, Elain wasn't completely sure why Feyre had sent Nesta away to the camps. Nesta had just needed more time to heal, more patients.
Though Nesta had said some… harsh things to her in her despair, Elain never gave up hope that her sister could recover one day. After she had gone to the camps with Cassian she came back the same… but different. Her destructive habits were gone, but the way she held herself had changed. She walked tall and proud. She was still her classic barbed self but… as soft as she could be. Not to mention that she claimed Cassian as her mate sometime over the year they were away.
Elain had called it. Mor and Rhys owned her 40 gold pieces.
When Nesta had come home she had greeted Elain with a long tight hug, but then regarded Feyre with cool indifference. They had gone into the study and talked well into the night, but no one knew what was said. Feyre wouldn't even tell Rhys, or if she did, he didn't let on. No one could get Nest to say anything she didn't want to, so no one tried with her.
But after she and Feyre had that conversation, things between the sisters got better. Not overnight, but now they had lunch together regularly, and even had a mental bond. Elain ideally brushed her land over the three crossed swords tattooed on her left wrist. One was engraved with flames, another with stars, and the last with flower petals. It was a lovely bargain. One that promised to always be there for one another if something happened.
Elain was delighted when they made it. To finally have her sisters back together, and really together! It was something Elain had never dare dreamed could be real.
The whole circle was doing better now. Not 100% better, perhaps never again, but things didn't hurt as much as they did right after the war. Elain was proud at how far they'd all come.
Elain was startled from her thoughts as thunder clapped outside, sending lightning crackling across the sky in white veins. It was only then that Elain realized she was still clutching the wood to her chest and standing by the fireplace.
She blinked as she set some wood in the fireplace, and the rest in the basket. How much time had gone by? When she looked out the window she saw nothing but dark storm clouds and stone.
Her limbs felt like they were made of paper and filled with sand as she slumped onto the couch. Why did it feel as though she’d had a vision? Memories don't usually make her feel this fatigue. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact she hadn't eaten all day and was doing laborious activities, she concluded.
She just needed to rest...just for...five minutes…
Elain woke with a start a few hours later to the sound of crackling flames. For a moment, anxiety overwhelmed her because her first thought was that her house was burning down, of all things. When Elain blinked her eyes open she instantly relaxed as she beheld the fire crackling merrily in the fireplace.
Wait… She hadn't started a fire before shed dozed off...right?
She couldn't find it in herself to think too hard on it. She needed to eat before she fell asleep and never woke up again.
With that, Elain stood and wandered into the kitchen. The scent of rosemary was the first thing she noticed as she walked in. Her eyes widened as she beheld the simmering pot of soup on the stove. In two quick steps, she was at the stove and peering into the bubbling pot.
Now she may be a bit fatigued, but she definitely would have remembered making dinner. Could someone have broken in? Elain thought as she turned around to face the back door. No no. She would have heard something. And why break in and instead of stealing or harming her, make dinner?
A noise sounded from above making Elain jump. Her heart pounded in her chest as she turned back towards the living room. It came from upstairs.
Cauldron she wished Azriel were here to help her. He would just send his shadows up the stairs to see what’s happening for him. Not that an intruder would have even made it past him.
No matter, Elain had had a bit of training after the war. She could defend herself, for at least long enough to get away if things went arie.
Elain quietly moved deeper into the kitchen until she could reach the knife draw. Careful not to jostle the draw, she quietly pulled out a knife and made her way up the stairs. Each creek and noise the steps made on her ascent sent Elain's teeth on end, but the only thing to do was to continue.
When Elain finally made it to the landing she noticed her bedroom door was slightly ajar. Light filtered out of it and stretched down the hall. She took a deep breath and closed the distance between herself and the door. For a moment, she stopped and listened just beyond the threshold.
Nothing.
Ok, let's see what fiend has found their way into my house, she thought as she pushed open the door and drew her knife. A shadow darted towards her making her yelp. Instantly the training flew from her mind and she began slashing wildly in front of her, eyes closed.
“Get out of my house scoundrel!” she yelled before it dawned on her. Shadows. She stopped and opened her eyes. Shadows pooled at her feet, swirling and weaving within themselves. She looked up and saw the shadows of everything in the room lit by the fireplace wither and stretch.
Azriel. Just as the realization hit, a small folded note appeared on the bed with shadows curling around it. In two strides she was at the bed and snatching up the note.
El,
My shadows have been whispering nonstop about you all day. They tell me you have been working even going as far as to chop some wood. I’m pleasantly surprised. Soon I won’t have an excuse to come around as often if you keep it up. They also say a storm is quickly approaching. Stay safe El, I wish to return swiftly.
In the meantime, eat and rest. I’m no cook but… well hopefully you’ll enjoy the soup. A bath has also been drawn for you.
See you soon,
Az
Elain smiled down at the note. Even when Azriel wasn’t here, he could make her heart stutter in her chest. Her dear friend.
Elain made quick work of washing in the bath Azriel’s shadows had drawn. The water was a milky lavender color from all the bath salts and oils put into it. She felt her muscles relax as she sank into the tub and sighed. Still though, she wondered how he was doing. It was so like him to focus more on others then himself, even if those others were hundreds of miles away. She decided to compose the letter she would write back to him in her head as she soaked in the tub.
Azriel,
Thank you for the meal and the bath, it was most kind of you. I hope you are eating well and taking care of yourself, though I fear Cassian probably ate all the lemon cakes I slipped into your pack. And yes, I have been hard at work today. Someone needed to chop the wood and it was high time I finally started assuming some real responsibility for my well being. Please return safely and swiftly, I miss our morning talks over tea.
As always,
-Ellie