Chapter Text
Iwaizumi exhaled heavily, something soft and wispy tickling his nose and he sighed contently.
The room was still bathed in the pre-dawn twilight as he opened his eyes, even though the clock on the bedside read a little after eight. He bit back a yawn before closing his eyes again.
They could sleep some more; school had just finished for Christmas.
A quiet mumble made him open his eyes and he looked to the other teen in his arms, the mess of mousy hair that just sleep wasn’t responsible for.
His memory then went back to the night before, his face beginning to burn at the memory.
“I can hear your lewd mind from over here, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa’s voice was hoarse, thick with sleep.
Iwaizumi’s face definitely ignited after the statement.
“You’re already awake?”
A quiet hum.
“Something about spending the night with you, combined with seeing our friends today makes me want to get up and be productive.” Oikawa huffed and Iwaizumi could hear the smile on is lips. “Even if they’re not coming until midday.”
“Well I’m still tired,” he teased, “so we’ll be here a little longer.”
“That’s fine with me, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa yawned, settling back into Iwaizumi’s arms.
Sugawara leaned on the observatory’s balcony rail as he watched the snow clouds high over the mountain tops hide the peaks in a shroud of thick white undulations in the atmosphere.
He rested his cheek on his fist as he mentally compared the mountain’s appearance to the days before, clear skies allowing him to see the ground snow. It was now mid-December and the mountain top grew whiter each day, but the snow was yet to come down to ground level.
He hoped it would soon extend down to their level, but he also knew not to expect too much; the air was too dry on the leeside of the mountain and, unfortunately, given the wind direction they were the leeside.
His attention shifted overhead, a lily pad of concaved cloud above him and he filled with excitement.
Orographic clouds!
He felt the seat of his pants before cursing at the feeling of empty pockets.
Where was his phone?
He looked around his immediate vicinity for the black case with a printed image of purple lightning illuminating the cloud layer. His search turning out to be fruitless made him move to search inside, spotting his phone on the desk.
“Stupid!” He cursed himself, rushing over to the device and picking it up. He went back outside, snapping photographs of the phenomenon, at least three more than he needed; at least three he’d never delete at least two of.
“Koushi!” Mamoru called up, Sugawara turned to see him stood at the top of the stair case. “Are you ready?”
The affection in his uncle’s eyes didn’t escape Sugawara’s notice and he squirmed under the attention, he still had no idea how to respond.
So he played dumb.
“Yeah! I’m ready!” He came back inside, sliding the glass door shut and locking it, walking towards his uncle.
“Think it’s gonna snow, kid?” Mamoru asked, turning to walk in front of Sugawara down the set of stairs.
Sugawara hummed, mentally analysing the data he’d collected.
“Well, I guess it could?” He hypothesised, watching his feet dance down the stairs. “I mean, right now the wind is the wrong direction, we’re on the leeside of the mountain so the air is dry and the snow will have already been dumped on the mountain. But there’s a cold front on the way and the wind will back, so it’ll fill with moisture from the sea and then it might fall as snow on this side of the mountain.”
“Fascinating!” Mamoru chuckled as they rounded the final flight of stairs and into the hallway. “Imagine if it snowed while we were at the beach with Lissy and Bora.”
The mental image amused Sugawara as he slipped into his hooded jumper.
Snow on a beach?
Not something you’d ever expect, but oddly enough was actually rather common.
Claws clattered along the floor and into the hallway, both Lissy and Bora donning their leads and collars, the two shepherds excitedly crowding their feet.
“Hey Lissy! Bora!” Sugawara greeted happily. “How are you lovely ladies today? Ready for a run on the beach?” He chatted to the animals as if they were human, taking their leads as Mamoru reached for the car keys.
“See you later Mariko!”
“Bye auntie!”
“See you boys later!!” Mariko called from the kitchen.
They shut the door behind them, walking down the broken stone path and Sugawara helped get the dogs into the carry case at the rear of the car before climbing into the front passenger seat.
Mamoru climbed in beside him and started the car, as they pulled away from the house Sugawara looked out his window to see Mariko waving from the living room window.
“You’re going to your friend’s later?” Mamoru asked, steering the car through narrow residential streets before pulling onto the dock road and taking his place between large trucks and lorries on their journeys to the many ports along the coast.
“Yeah, I’m going to Oikawa’s for midday,” Sugawara confirmed, watching the large vehicle lumbering beside them, his eyes meeting the driver’s and they shared a smile, “he’s home alone so we’re having a movie day.”
“That sounds like fun! Which one is Oikawa again?”
“Satan.”
Mamoru laughed at Sugawara’s answer.
“Ah, the one with the fluffy hair?”
“Please don’t boost his ego, he’ll be able to hear you from here.” Sugawara grinned, looking at his uncle.
“Are you staying over?”
Sugawara hummed in confirmation.
“Yeah, we can’t all stay over this time, so after the movies it’ll just be me and Oikawa.”
They finally pulled clear of the truck cab, Sugawara turning to look at the sky as they drew nearer to the coast. The sky was overcast, the clouds off shore much thicker than the ones inland.
Sugawara felt his anxiety spike, the clouds were really dark, what if there was a storm? Ominous-looking dark clouds over a rolling metallic turquoise-grey.
They finally pulled off the industrial road and down the coastal road, Sugawara now spent most of his time looking for broken landmarks. Now he knew about Bokuto’s accident he looked for any lasting evidence, all the while his heart speeding in his chest, the prospect of finding something, combined with the changeable weather making his anxiety worse.
They sped down the coastal road, finally pulling into a car park behind the marine lake. Sugawara exited the car, the blustery wind catching him by surprise, sand whipping around him in a flurry. He buried his hands into his hoodie pockets and moved to help Mamoru get the two dogs from the back of their car.
The four then headed onto the marina pathway, Sugawara experiencing the full effect of a coastal breeze hitting him head-on.
“It’s so windy here!” He shouted to Mamoru, the air whistling as it weaved through metal railings and old warehouses on the land next to them.
“The dock road is like a boundary!” Mamoru called back, walking alongside Sugawara. “This is your first time at the beach, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Sugawara said, also nodding, “it’s not really what I had in mind!”
Mamoru laughed, beckoning Sugawara off the path and onto the rocky marine lake edge, salty brine just inches from their feet.
Lissy and Bora played around their legs as Mamoru bent down to inspect the water’s edge.
“Looks like it’s not quite here yet.”
“What do you mean?”
“We get sea foam during storms, it lines the lake and the beach,” Mamoru explained, “you can always see the organisms on the rocks before it happens.”
“Amazing…”
They continued to walk down the tarmac path, the track becoming more uneven as they neared the sand dunes, soon enough it was an incline and Sugawara leant into the wind in order to climb it.
When he reached the top he was met by icy blasts of wind, his cheeks cold and red raw from wind burn. The sea tumbled around the low tide mark, a ship not too far out with what looked like hundreds of containers, the wind turbines to the North West spinning in the turbulent weather.
Sugawara tucked stray hair behind his ear, pausing at the top of the sandy hill to admire the view.
It was then he realised; the sky was changing.
Those dark clouds were moving closer on a sea breeze, and as his hair whipped around his face he watched as no sun penetrated the thick layer. He worried his lip between his teeth, a strong arm wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him into a warm body.
“Looks to me like it might snow, what do you think?” Mamoru asked, keeping Sugawara tucked into his side protectively. “The sky’s full of it.”
He was right, Sugawara noted, looking back towards the horizon and noticing things his anxious mind had missed first time round.
The yellow hue to the clouds; the pale whitish precipitation shafts; far too light to be just rain, a few miles off the coast.
Snow.
“Snow!” Sugawara cheered with a laugh, running down the sand dune onto the wet sand below, he kept running along the expanse of sand, the roaring waves less than fifty metres away as he pumped his legs as fast as he could.
He nearly tripped on his own feet as he pushed off the sand with powerful kicks, his shoes throwing chunks of sand up behind him.
Over the roar of the wind he heard the jingle of metal, looking behind himself just fast enough to see Lissy and Bora, their dog tags clattering as they bounded to catch him, before his silver locks consumed his vision.
Suddenly he was tumbling onto wet sand, the grains reaching every crevice as he went down. Two pups proudly licking him and panting above him.
He was also panting, his lungs burning from the exertion of the wind and his impromptu sprint, he looked passed his pets to the sky.
And that’s when the first flakes began to fall, somehow still colder than his wind bitten cheeks.
He let out a breathy laugh as his uncle appeared in his vision, out of breath and offering him a hand.
“Koushi!” He laughed breathlessly as Sugawara grabbed his hand, tugging himself up with Mamoru’s help.
“That was fun!”
Sugawara couldn’t stop his laughter as the snow blew around them, he watched the white flecks landing and melting into the already sodden sand and tumbling waves.
Mamoru’s arm returned to around Sugawara, holding his nephew and Sugawara sighed; half breathless, half content as he leaned into his uncle.
“Koushi,” Mamoru began, still out of breath, “how would you like to come on holiday with me and Mariko?”
Sugawara looked at Mamoru, curious about the question.
“Where to?”
“The mountains; my boss has a chalet and he lends it to us each year for a few days,” Mamoru elaborated, “I told him we couldn’t go because were minding our nephew and he said he didn’t care if you came too, that the chalet can hold up to sixteen people so he didn’t mind how many people we took with us as long as we didn’t leave it a mess.”
“Oh wow…so I can bring friends?”
“Yeah, me and Mariko are boring adults, you can bring your friends.”
Sugawara imagined how much fun it would be to have his friends there with him, the snow on the mountains, the weather phenomena he’d get to see.
It outweighed his anxiety about being somewhere new.
“That sounds like fun!” Sugawara grinned at Mamoru before cooing at Lissy and Bora. “C’mon girls!” He laughed, taking off down the beach with the dogs hot on his heels. “I’ll ask my friends later today!” He called back to Mamoru, finding that, after the earlier stumble his back hurt like hell, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.
He was happy.
He didn’t want to go back home.
No.
He already was home.
This was his home.
Where he’d lived before now was just a stepping stone.
A prison.
He never wanted to go back.
Sugawara looked at the old beige Victorian house as Mamoru pulled up outside it.
“Have fun, Koushi.”
“I will!” Sugawara climbed out the car, carrying his overnight bag in his left hand, waving goodbye to Mamoru before walking up the drive to Oikawa’s house.
Sugawara could still feel the grainy textures from the beach on his body, despite going home and having a shower before going to Oikawa’s.
He knocked on the door, surprised when Iwaizumi opened it instead.
“Hey Suga, come on in.”
He stepped over the threshold, once again being taken back by the sheer size of the house.
“This place would be so daunting if I didn’t know Oikawa was a total pussy.”
Iwaizumi snorted and he led the way into the living room; somewhere Sugawara had never been before.
Wait.
Was Iwaizumi limping?
“Did you hurt your leg?”
He seemed to stumble at the question.
“S—Something like that.” He rubbed the back of his neck, his ears and nape a reddish tinge.
“Suga-chan!”
“Satan!”
Oikawa groaned low in the back of his throat, a pained noise, earning a laugh from Sugawara.
“Hey Sugaaaaa!!”
Sugawara looked over to the caller, to Kuroo.
“Chemicals, my man—Oh, hey Kenma!”
Everyone had already arrived, Sugawara greeting them all in turn before Oikawa took his chance to speak.
“Where do you guys wanna watch the movies? In here or the basement again?”
“Eeeh, let’s not be moles this time.” Kuroo snickered. “We can also keep track of the takeout up here.”
“Okay, we’ll stay in here. What movies do you want?”
“Godzilla.” Iwaizumi spoke without missing a beat.
“Human Centipede trilogy!”
“Nooo!”
“Alien!”
“Alien vs. Predator!”
“Suga, what movie do you want to watch?” Daichi turned to ask him as he sat down beside him.
“Uhm,” Sugawara thought for a moment, he never liked scary or thriller movies, “Treasure Planet?”
The room quietened down, people seeming to realise that the pressure from their peers meant Sugawara was the only one to suggest a children’s movie.
“I could settle for that!” Oikawa grinned, sorting through his collection.
“Good choice, Suga!” Kuroo smiled. “Man, I used to love this movie.”
“Who didn’t?” Kenma asked, leaning back into the plush white velvet couch, Sierria leaning into him.
“I’ve only seen it once or twice, is that the one with the cat lady?”
“Damn she was hot.” Kuroo blurted out, attracting numerous stares.
“I want her to step on me with those boots.” Oikawa confessed.
“Same...” Sugawara hummed.
The group of teens put the movie on, settling down together on the couch with various snacks and the electric fake log burner fire on its highest setting.
Sugawara found himself squished between Daichi and Kuroo, not that he minded being flanked by the warmest members of the group.
As the movie progressed he felt like he could relate to the main character, seen as a screw up in other people’s eyes, a misfit with no real purpose. His parents wanted nothing to do with him, they made him feel like he needed to hide who he was and fit a broken mould; a mould that had never been suited to him in the first place.
But then, amongst all of that he found his friends, his version of Jim’s crew. To them he wasn’t a misfit or a reject, he felt like he had a purpose with his friends, he felt like he was loved wholeheartedly for who he was, not broken into something he wasn’t.
By the time Jim’s theme began to play, the song ringing out through the surround sound speakers Sugawara was startled as the group began to sing along.
“I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard.” Kuroo sang, his feet on the foot rest in front of them moving not unlike a conductor’s arm.
Oikawa joined in next, “or a moment that’s held in your arms.”
“And what do you think you’d ever say?” Bokuto sang too, his arm around Akaashi’s shoulder. “I won’t listen anyway,” Oikawa harmonised with Bokuto, “you don’t know me, and I’ll never be what you want me to be.”
Sugawara longed to join in, he wished he didn’t feel the crippling anxiety about doing something he could mess up with in front of his friends.
Singing with other people was scary.
“And what do you think you’d understand? I’m a boy, no, I’m a man.” Akaashi sung, his fingers holding Bokuto’s free hand as Bokuto and Kuroo joined in. “You can’t take me and throw me away.”
The group continued to sing right through the song, Sierria joining by the first chorus and by the second verses Kenma, Daichi, and Iwaizumi joined in too. "I'M STILL HERE!"
Sugawara felt the urge to join in growing stronger, but so did the anxiety. So instead he mimed, not noticing the tears on his cheeks.
“Suga?”
Sugawara looked up to Daichi, an involuntary sniffle escaping his lips.
The sound attracted the rest of the group’s attention, the eight teens looking at Sugawara with worry and concern, Oikawa pausing the movie.
“Suga-chan?”
“Sorry, sorry,” Sugawara apologised, wiping at his face furiously, realising he couldn’t keep his secret forever, “it just hits close to home…”
He could see the looks of confusion from most of his friends, but then Oikawa’s realisation.
“Suga-chan…” Oikawa shifted off the edge of the couch and leaned close to Sugawara’s face. “Fuck your parents.”
“Huh? What?” Kuroo asked, looking at Sugawara. “Are your parents dickheads or something?”
“Why do you think I live with my aunt and uncle?” Sugawara asked, his tone subdued aside of the quiver as he fought back his tears, he looked to the ceiling and blinked furiously. “They didn’t want me anymore, couldn’t wait to pawn me off to the nearest family member.”
He looked down at his curled toes in his worn galaxy patterned socks, he didn’t want this, he didn’t want to ruin the light mood.
“We’re here for you.” And two warm hands, one from each side of him rested on his back, Oikawa’s hand on his left knee. “It must be hard keeping your feelings all bottled up, Suga-chan.”
“Sugaa!” Bokuto crowed, jumping over Daichi to hug the teen in the middle.
“I just…I don’t want to ruin the mood.” Sugawara said. “I’m fine, honestly.”
“Suga, can I talk to you?” Daichi asked, not offering any extra explanation but his eyes betraying how he wanted to help him.
“O—Okay…”
“We’ll be back in a minute guys,” Daichi said, standing and offering a hand to Sugawara, “you can keep watching the movie if you want.”
Sugawara took his hand, hauling himself up and following Daichi out the room.
They walked out of the living room, heading up the stairs and settling on the settee on the first-floor landing.
“He has a fucking couch on his landing?” Sugawara scoffed sitting down beside Daichi, only then realising they hadn’t let go of each other’s hands.
“I know, totally OTT.” Daichi smiled, earning another watery laugh from Sugawara.
“What did you want to talk about?” Sugawara asked quietly.
“I just…wanted to make sure you know you’re not alone.” Daichi shrugged, surprising Sugawara with a teary smile of his own. “Trying to make your parents proud of you can be really hard sometimes.”
Sugawara realised instantly what Daichi was referring to, Oikawa had told him about Daichi’s parents.
“I—I’m sorry…!”
“For what?” Daichi seemed surprised by the sudden proclamation.
“You…lost your parents, I couldn’t possibly compare our experiences.”
“We both lost our parents, sure the circumstances were different, but we both lost those people who were meant to help us grow into the people we could be proud of,” Daichi rationalised, “it’s scary growing up too fast, it’s scary doing all you physically can and still not feeling like someone your parents could be proud of. But I couldn’t imagine having parents who made you feel like they could never be proud of you.”
Sugawara shrugged, looking to the floor.
“They didn’t like the fact I loved the weather, they didn’t like how it also made me incredibly anxious,” Sugawara looked to the circle shaped, frosted stained glass window at the end of the landing space, he could see the lead boat on a stormy sea, but he could also see the fat snowflakes whirling around outside, “they hated the things I couldn’t change.”
“Is that why when we first met you freaked out after talking about the fair—cumulus clouds?”
Sugawara looked at Daichi, taken back by the fact he actually remembered the name of the clouds, even after four months.
He took the time to remember something about Sugawara’s favourite thing.
“Yeah…it is…”
“I hope you realise you don’t have to pretend around us, around me.” Daichi said, his warm hand finding its way back to Sugawara’s back, his thumb rubbing a soothing pattern into his shoulder blade.
“Thank you…”
“And you’ve really…God Suga, you’re so incredibly interesting, you leave me speechless with how you can forecast the weather and recite all this information as if it’s the only thing you’re made of. You live and breathe this amazing talent and I’ve never met anyone who can do that. You make me stop and look at the sky to see if I can identify some cloud types, but I think I’ll leave that to the expert.” Daichi grinned boyishly.
Sugawara’s face felt far too hot as he received the praise, not use to such attention, such positive attention.
“If only my parents saw what you see.”
Daichi hummed, “it would make everything easier.”
A low rumble reverberated through the house and Sugawara startled, jumping and hiding his face into his hands. “I hate thunder…”
“Thunder? But it’s snowing outside!” Daichi responded with confusion thick in his voice.
“Thundersnow…” Sugawara groaned, “a rare weather phenomenon.”
“Really? Wow,” Daichi muttered, looking out the stained glass window, “that’s incredible. Wanna go watch?”
Sugawara shook his head violently, “distract me.”
“Okay, uh,” Sugawara watched the other trying to think of a distraction, “your parents are daft, Suga, and I know how you can prove them wrong.”
Sugawara worried his lip between his teeth, “how?”
“Thunder.”
“Thunder?”
“You cowered when you heard it.” A louder boom made its presence known. “But why not try to be the lightning?”
“The lightning?”
“With your parents, with your hobbies and with the weather, be there first. Don’t cower and hide when you can be there first.”
“Be there first…”
“Yeah! Like, be the lightning and everyone else is the thunder.”
Sugawara fell quiet, staring at a spot on the floor, an old fleck of white paint on varnished laminate. He leaned into Daichi’s side, partially to hide his teary, heated face, partially to just feel a little bit closer to the other teen.
“For the record, your parents would be so proud of you, Daichi, look at all the things you do, the people you help.”
Sugawara felt a gentle pressure on his crown, only realising that it was Daichi’s own head when he next spoke, feeling the movement of his jaw on his scalp.
“Thank you…”
“Don’t—”
They were interrupted by the sound of another rumble of thunder overhead, a flash of lightning visible this time, too.
“Let’s go watch the thundersnow, Daichi!”
The pair headed back down to their group of friends, Sugawara eagerly beckoning them to follow. They did, the nine teens heading outside to marvel at the sight of lighting against snow-filled skies, flurries of white building up instead of a torrent of rain.
He listened to the sounds of awe coming from his friends, wondering if he’d always be able to bring them so much joy.
“Oh! Right, you guys!” Sugawara suddenly perked up. “You’re all invited on holiday with me and auntie and uncle.”
“Wait what? Where?” Oikawa was first to voice his protest.
“Where the hell are you going first?” Kuroo asked.
“The mountains! Uncle Mamoru’s boss has a chalet there.”
Kenma rolled his eyes. “Alright for some.”
“I can’t, Suga, I’m going to visit my grandparents.” Sierria pouted.
“No…” Sugawara felt guilt at asking. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, I’m gonna go see them for a while.” Sierria explained, “but it’s okay! There’s always gonna be next time!” She reassured.
“I’ll check if I can get time off work,” Daichi said, “tonight.”
“Awesome!” Sugawara really hoped Daichi could make it.
“It sounds like fun.” Akaashi smiled. “I’m in, so long as we don’t tell my parents Bokuto will be there, they should let me.”
“When will we be going?” Iwaizumi finally asked.
“Uh, I don’t know the exact dates, but it’s probably gonna be New Year.”
“Well, I think apart from Sie-chan and Sawa-chan you’ve got a full house.”
Sugawara smiled, trying to hide his disappointment, he wanted all of his friends there, “yeah.”
Daichi checked his bag one last time, making sure the contents were in order and his work uniform was neatly packed.
He’d get changed in work.
He flung his backpack onto his back, bidding farewell to his siblings and uncle, catching Iwaizumi on his way out.
“Thanks again for doing this, Daichi.”
“What do you mean?”
“Taking my shifts so I can be with Oikawa more.”
“Oh,” Daichi muttered, “it’s fine, you’d do the same for me.”
Iwaizumi hummed, “but still, thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.” He walked out from the hallway and into the front garden, lifting his bike from where it was resting along the side of the wall.
“Daichi, wait,” Iwaizumi ran down the steps at the front of their house, “are you really goin to ask for time off?”
Daichi fell quiet, initially he wasn’t…he’d just tell Sugawara his work had said no. But something had changed…
“Yeah, I’m gonna ask tonight.”
Iwaizumi smiled, “it sounds like it could be fun, going up the mountain.”
“Yeah, it does.” Daichi smiled and then he climbed onto his bike. “See you later.”
He pushed off the garden path and waved goodbye to Iwaizumi, the latter returning the gesture and going inside.
Cycling onto the main road Daichi fell into line with traffic, at the kerbside to avoid getting in the way of the heavy goods vehicles that were also travelling down the road.
He crossed over small side streets without trouble, passing Oikawa’s home where he knew Oikawa and Sugawara would probably be ordering all manner of food.
Next he went down the next road to his work, still more than forty-five minutes away he kept cycling, eventually reaching a fork in the road where it bottlenecked. There was no sidewalk there, only tarmac and side streets.
The last thing he heard as he crossed over a side street was the sound of a car horn.
Sugawara emerged from the bathroom, in his pajamas and ready for bed, “what are you shouting about?” He asked after listening to Oikawa crow down the phone from the bathroom.
Oikawa ignored him.
“Is he okay?” His voice was quiet. “Broken?” Broken? “Shit…hold on, I’ll let Suga-chan know—Oh, okay, keep me updated, yeah, yeah, bye.”
Oikawa lowered the phone from his ear, looking at Sugawara with his lip pulled between his teeth, “that was Iwa-chan.”
Sugawara’s stomach rolled, “and?”
“Sawa-chan was hit by a car,” Oikawa’s hand came up to rub at his eyes, Sugawara felt like he was going to be sick, nausea rolling inside him, “he’s okay, but he’s broke his arm, they’re not sure how serious it is yet – they’re waiting for a specialist.”
“OhmyGod… Poor Daichi.” Sugawara still felt sick.
A car crash…
“Can we go visit him?”
“His whole family is there right now, I don’t think they’d let us in. Too crowded.”
“Fuck…” He sank onto Oikawa’s bed, huddling into the other teenager’s body. “I don’t think I’d be able to sleep tonight…”
“Yeah…” Oikawa’s arm wrapped around him, “me too.”