Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The cemetary was quiet, it had been since the majority of Hinata’s family had left. All who were left milling around in black formal clothing were half the team, unsure of what to do with themselves. All of them stood in silence, consoling each other with physical support; holding each others hands tightly, squeezing as they felt tears sting their eyes, rubbing soothing circles into one another’s backs.

A slow breeze rustled the surrounding trees softly, displacing brown leaves from their branches, and drifted down to the grass, landing silently. The afternoon was fair, the small breaths of wind indicating the arrival of autumn, but the setting summer sun warming the earth fought against the chill, the lingering tastes of summer lighting the landscape. The golden rays illuminated the vast area, leaving an fluorescent glow on the team’s faces, warming their cheeks as they stood above Hinata’s final resting place. The light graced the landscape, bringing Kageyama back to that day on the hill, all that time back, when Hinata first told him about all this. He would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt to think about it.

Kageyama lifted his gaze to the rest of the cemetery, away from the team, and as his eyes squinted against the bright rays, his gaze settled on the headstone on the far edge of the piece of land. His gaze shifted uncomfortably back to his team, but more to the ground if anywhere.

“Kageyama?” The soft voice that spoke up was from Suga, his tired brown eyes shifting over to the younger boy. “Are you okay?” He prompted, eliciting a muted nod.

“I’m fine.” Kageyama was lying. He hadn’t been this upset in nearly four years, but who was he to look weak as he was in front of the team. Suga, of course, saw straight through this, and stepped towards him, taking his hand gently and reached up his arm to rest his palm on the boys wrist.

“Kageyama, we’re all in the same boat here. You can talk to us, we’re here for you.” Suga paused, sparing a quick look to the people near them. He looked back up to Kageyama, now finally returning Suga’s gaze with glassy eyes. Suga sighed, and ran his palm further up Kageyama’s wrist, pulling it back down to meet his hand, still curled with Kageyama’s fingers. “I’m here for you.” He resigned with a heavy voice, grief tugging at his words. Kageyama shot his gaze back down to his feet, letting out a shaky breath.

“No, really. I’m fine,” He lied again, “I’m just, it’s a lot, you know?” He could practically hear Suga’s eyebrows knit together as he sputtered out his half assed excuse. Suga squeezed Kageyama’s hand, and sniffed, finally turning away with a teary nod of understanding.

“Yeah, it is. But we’ll get through it okay, we can do this.” Suga agreed before stepping back to join the others.

“Right.” Kageyama breathed, it’s not like he hasn’t done this before. He could do it again, actually, he could do it better.

He thought about this, and let his gaze slip back to the small headstone settled by a tall tree, almost out of sight from Hinata’s own grave. As he began to walk, Yamaguchi looked up at him, cocking his head. He decided not to pursue it, however, after noticing the look in Kageyama’s eyes. He seemed determined, but he couldn’t think of what it could possibly be.

Kageyama weaved through headstones, careful not to stand on any, whispering apologies if he caught his foot slip onto the grass. He traced his fingers over the stones, letting the rough feeling ground him as he approached the tree. His feet slowed to a stop as he lowered his eyes to the name on the stone, tears finally spilling over as he tried to keep it all in.

Suga was right, he’d be okay, soon.

Hopefully he was right too. Hopefully he’d handle it better this time.

“Hey,” He started, voice cracking as he dropped to his knees in front of the stone. “Sorry it’s been a while. About a year, maybe two, I mean, who’s counting.” He tried to force a chuckle out, if for no one but himself. “You’re probably wondering what took me so long to visit, right? Well, I don’t think I have an answer you’d like. I mean, you’d probably go all, well, go all you on me if I told you why. A lot has happened since we last spoke, huh, Hinami.”

The sun began to fully descent in the sky, allowing stray lampposts to flicker to life as the light dipped behind the horizon. Kageyama began to ramble about his experiences of the last two years, his new team, Hinata. The team were now long gone, as was the warmth of the sun, Kageyama’s ramblings slowed by the shivers sent down his spine now the sun wasn’t there to battle to breaths of wind which had picked up.

“Well, that’s me.” He brought his stories to a close, smiling slightly at the resurfaced memory of Hinami’s smiles elicited from his old stories. “I’m sorry for how long it took for me to visit.” He apologised again, pushing himself up from the sitting position he didn’t remember getting in. “I’ll come back sooner, I swear. Bring some lilies, the ones you liked, from that stall down by the park, yeah she’s still going, surprising really, I thought you were her only customer.” His smile grew further at the memory, almost taking him by surprise. “I’ll speak to you soon. Goodbye, Hinami.”

And with that, he left. His heart a little lighter, his head a little clearer.

He was right. He was going to deal with this better than last time. He owed it to both Hinata and Hinami.

As he turned to walk away, Kageyama allowed his eyes to drift back to the headstone one last time. Maybe he should bring something to clean it with next time. There was already some moss trying to reach up over the family name. He added it to the list, and turned to leave. Properly this time.

He walked away from the headstone, promising to return.

Kageyama ambled back to Hinata’s grave, smiling at the sheer number of flowers and candles left there, leaving his resting place under a soft glow of flickering orange. He smiled at how loved Hinata was, and how that love didn’t pass with him. Kageyama thought he should get flowers for him too, maybe orange ones, it seemed fitting. He would get them from the same cart, continue being the florists seemingly only customer until that day he died.

He walked away from that headstone too, promising to return.

Kageyama was sure of it.

He would be better.