Chapter Text
Jeongguk’s hands on his waist feel like fire and ice, sending shivers down his spine and the hairs on his neck standing upright. It’s been so long since Taehyung’s been touched like this (close to 800 years to be exact), the feeling so alien to him that it has his skin crawling with sensitivity. They move languidly together taking the time to just feel each other’s body and take in their presence, every move feeling like it’s in slow motion.
Taehyung’s hands slide smoothly along Jeongguk’s biceps, across his collar bones and then down to his chest. In one swift movement, he brushes the pads of his fingers gently across his nipples eliciting a shaky sigh from the younger. Taehyung raises an eyebrow at that.
“Does that come with being human?” He asks faintly, a teasing lilt to his tone.
Jeongguk smiles in response letting his actions do all the talking for him. He lets his hands on Taehyung’s back drop to rest on the jut of his hips rubbing his thumbs in slow and small circles driving the elder into madness as the rest of his body itches to be kissed by Jeongguk’s cold stricken hands. Taehyung bites back a whine cursing himself for being so needy all of a sudden.
They rest their foreheads against each other breathing in each other’s scent, a scent they didn’t realize they had. Taehyung smells like fresh berries coated with vanilla and almonds; he smells like the beginning of every morning that Jeongguk had ever woken up to when he was human. He’d sit by his window in the early hours of morning just before the sun had rose munching on his obnoxiously healthy fruit-filled oatmeal and watched the sky change colours from a pale navy blue to a mix of a fiery orange, a crimson red, and a lavender purple.
“You smell good…” Jeongguk sighs, closing his eyes to focus his senses as he’s brought back to his days of being a free human on earth.
Taehyung drags his finger tips to the plumpness of Jeongguk’s lips, touching his own with his other hand. He wonders…
“C-can I kiss you?” Taehyung asks gingerly, his fingers trembling against Jeongguk’s lip.
The younger kisses the fingers resting on his face as a confirmation, his heart thudding so loud it wouldn’t surprise him if Taehyung could hear it.
He feels Taehyung’s hands on the sides of his face pulling him closer and soon enough they close the gap. They both exhale deeply through their noses getting lost in each other’s ecstasy. Their kiss deepens, both growing hungrier for each other. Jeongguk pulls the elder flush against his bare chest and rests his hands on the perch of Taehyung’s ass as he kneads the clothed flesh. The elder breaks away momentarily gasping at the feeling of his ass being groped before going back in for an open mouthed kiss.
Jeongguk guides Taehyung backward to lay back on the bed caging him in never breaking away. He’s overcome with so much need, his head clouded with nothing but Taehyung, Taehyung, Taehyung, Taehyung.
They spend the next few moments making out, drinking each other in, letting their tongues explore every inch of each other, peppering open mouths kisses on each other’s jaw and neck and ears. When Jeongguk grinds his hips down instinctively, they break away from each other gasping for air.
“Tae…” the younger pants, concern in his eyes as if asking if Taehyung really wants this.
“What?” Taehyung questions breathless as if what they were doing was second nature, as if he wasn’t opposed to any sort of association regarding the human species.
Taehyung grinds his hips upward meeting Jeongguk’s crotch. They both hiss at the friction, the feeling so new and unfamiliar which only makes it all the more pleasurable.
Taehyung hooks an arm around Jeongguk’s neck, his free hand caressing the younger’s cheek. “I need you,” he whispers.
Taehyung had forgotten what it was like to be overcome with an arousal like this, the rapid thumping of his heart, the heat that makes him sweat, the coil churning and churning in his stomach, it’s an addicting feeling. And he can barely fathom how he ever managed this long without feeling this way. So when he finally gets the friction he didn’t know he’s craved for against his hardened member, there’s no way he’d want to go another day without this bliss.
Jeongguk kisses the desires right off the elder’s mouth. They grind into each other in unison until he feels hands tugging at the waistline of his pants. He takes the hint and breaks away from the kiss to quickly strip from his pants and underwear and chuck them to the side and he does the same for Taehyung. As soon as the elder’s been stripped he hooks his leg around Jeongguk’s waist and pulls him back down, their naked stomachs and hardened cocks flush against each other.
“Ah, Tae…” Jeongguk breathes, peppering kisses along the side of his neck. “My angel.”
Taehyung whines at that as tears spring free from his eyes. He’s not exactly sure why he’s crying but he doesn’t give Jeongguk the chance to see his tears and worry about him. The last thing he wants right now is hesitation. He’s way too needy and way too sensitive to be doubting himself.
Jeongguk reaches down in between them and takes both their dicks in his hand stroking them together as Taehyung lets out a sinful moan, shocks of pleasure overtaking his body.
“Hah… mmm, Jeo-Jeongguk…” he pants, his mind dizzy with every stroke that comes.
Jeongguk is still kissing at Taehyung’s neck, moving back and forth from his collar bone to his earlobe. “Jeongguk,” he starts, feeling the younger hum in response, “I don’t wanna lose this…”
Something fires up in Jeongguk at those words, a spark of determination to keep Taehyung with him, keep him safe and satisfied, keep him happy. He focuses his relentless kissing in the crook of Taehyung’s neck and begins to suck a little bit harder, a bright purple bruise beginning to form.
Taehyung reaches down between them and wraps his own hand around Jeongguk’s stroking at their dicks, chasing their orgasm. As they grind into each other faster, their hands moving quicker, and Jeongguk’s commitment to mouth at his skin, it has him arching his back as his moans become breathier and louder.
“J-Jeongguk, I’m c-close! Ah!” He warns, his breath laboured.
Taehyung knows the other is nearing is his climax as well because at some point Jeongguk has stopped marking up the elder’s neck to rest his head on his shoulder. The younger lets short “ah-ah’s” escape his lips along with a jumble of curses and praises.
“Shit, Tae!”
They both let out a cry as their orgasm comes, painting Taehyung’s stomach white. Taehyung has gripped onto the bedsheets as Jeongguk rides out their climax stroking their members slowly until they’re soft. They kiss softly, panting into each other’s mouths as the younger falls beside Taehyung on the bed. There’s no heat - no hunger - as they kiss, just a promise that they’ll stay by each other’s side.
When Jeongguk tries to spoon Taehyung’s waist he’s reminded of the mess they’ve made on his stomach. He breaks away from the kiss and places a soft peck to the elder’s nose just before getting up to find a towel. Taehyung whines as the space between them grows.
“I’ll be right back,” he assures before heading to the bathroom.
When Jeongguk returns with a hand towel, Taehyung is completely passed out. His lips naturally fall into a pout as his head tilts to the right of the pillow and his left arm draped over his eyes. He wipes up the elder’s stomach only wondering what he could be dreaming about. They both haven’t dreamt for so long, he can only imagine the journey he’d go through in his dreamscape, wonders if they’d be dreams at all or old memories to relive.
He finishes cleaning him up and throws the towel onto the pile of forgotten clothes on the floor. Semi-lifting Taehyung’s lower half, he pulls the blanket out from underneath his body and body drapes it up to his shoulders tucking him in.
As Jeongguk stares at the elder’s sleeping form he’s torn between coming up next to him or sleeping alone on the untouched mattress on the other side of the room. He stares at him longer, his body now curled into himself and his hair flipped in all directions. His lips are still swollen and his face is still flushed. But the sight of the bright red bruises littered across his neck is what convinces Jeongguk to curl up beside him. He slips under the covers tangling his legs with Taehyung’s and takes the elder’s loosely closed fists in his hands, drifting off into his own slumber.
Taehyung dreams vividly that night, images of Jeongguk plastered across his mind that has his newfound heart (that he’s taken a liking to) skip a beat or two like a kid with a crush. The memory of everywhere the younger’s hands had roamed his body; up and down his back, along his chest, snaking around his waist, caressing his thighs, groping his ass, and stroking his dick. He’s still tingling from the aftershock. It all replays over and over in his head getting slower and slower at every playback that has him getting excited to do it all over again. But as the memory plays, the slower it gets the louder the voice in the back of his head screams at him, scolding him for being so greedy.
He can’t make anything out of the demonic screeching, but he gets one thing engraved in his memory: “You’ll suffer.”
Taehyung jolts awake in a cold sweat sitting upright, his stomach churning and twisting. The arm that was cradling his body retracts itself as Jeongguk stirs awake in confusion.
“Tae…” the younger croaks rubbing his sleepy eyes.
Taehyung holds his breath before bolting to the bathroom, his head now retching into the toilet bowl. It’s when Jeongguk groggily switches the light on in search of the elder that they both realize he’s puking up blood. There’s not much Jeongguk can do in this moment other than comfort the boy until it’s over. He leaves momentarily and returns with the motel’s complimentary robe and drapes it over the elder’s still naked form, rubbing circles on his back.
Tears fall down the elder’s cheeks as he coughs up the last few clots of blood. His lips and teeth are stained dark red, almost black, and he hates that Jeongguk has to see him like this.
He leans against the toilet seat for a few moments after calming himself down to sort out his breathing. The soft rubbing on his back disappears and suddenly there’s pain, pressure, like his skin is about to tear at any second. He still has his wings, he hadn’t fully turned yet; there’s still a chance at redemption.
Moments later Jeongguk re-emerges, wearing his own robe now, with a glass of water and a pile of neatly folded pyjamas. He sets the clothes down on the counter then crouches down to hand Taehyung the water.
“Rinse,” he instructs.
The elder takes a swig of the liquid and swishes it around before spitting it into the toilet, the clear liquid now littered with red.
“Now drink,” the younger says softly, rubbing Taehyung’s back again.
Taehyung puts his arms through the robe that was draped over him before taking the glass from Jeongguk’s hands. He sits back against the wall wincing as his shoulder blades feel more pressure.
They sit on the bathroom floor in silence, only the sound of Taehyung’s shallow breaths and gulps of water filling the room. Jeongguk’s mind is racing at what all this could mean and he feels his heart shatter at the thought that this could be his doing. The way he so easily gave in to his temptation and dragged Taehyung down with him. He made a point to leave evidence of what he did to him all over his once flawless skin. What has him on the verge of tears is the thought that the elder regrets ever being with him in the first place, that he resents his existence, that he wishes they never met. Why is he suffering the most when it was Jeongguk who made these brash decisions?
“Taehyung, I—” he can’t find the words. “Are you hurt?” is what he settles for.
Taehyung hiccups trying to silence his weeping and sniffling. His lips are chapped and his face is pale, the dark purple of the bruises on his skin standing out significantly, further enforcing the idea that it was Jeongguk who did all of this. The first human scars he’s ever experienced and probably the last.
Jeongguk is on the brink of tears when Taehyung doesn’t respond. “This is all my fault. This isn’t who you are… I just… wanted you with me.”
Without a word Taehyung stands up and walks past the younger to examine himself in the mirror. His robe droops loosely around his shoulders as he traces the hickeys on his exposed skin delicately like he’s trying not break something, like too much pressure would cause him more pain. He taps the jut of his bloodstained lips softly and then his pale-skinned cheek. No, he doesn’t look human, even humans look more well-crafted than this.
Jeongguk’s eyes fall on the exposed skin of Taehyung’s back noticing the markings of two bloodied wounds that could only be a result of his wings. It’s such a dark red that it looks black like his back had been burned to a crisp. That’s not what happened to the younger; no wounds to be found, no pain.
Taehyung sucks in a breath at the ambiguity of his health. “Do you think—” he turns to the other sitting on the floor behind him, “—do you think it’s too late… to go back?” he asks softly with the slightest bit of hope in his voice.
Jeongguk doesn’t know what to say. He sits staring up at the elder perturbed because he hasn’t got the slightest idea of where this is all stirring from or what to do about it. There’s been no record of any event similar to this known to Heaven, Hell, and Earth. He’s scared to admit that they only have each other to fight this fight. And even if Heaven could help Taehyung, what does that mean for Jeongguk?
“If you go back, will I ever see you again?” Jeongguk asks knowing full well how selfish he’s being.
The way the younger stares up at him, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears, he looks like a child and for a moment, Taehyung wonders what his life was like as a human to have him so drawn to Earth.
“I can’t answer that,” the elder states coldly, eyes fixated on the ground as he shakes his head.
The thought of going back to Heaven hurts but being on Earth hurts him more. All of his suffering he had felt when he was human that he managed to escape are coming back to him in floods drowning him in nothing but guilt and regret. Going back is for the best. After all, that’s what he was determined to do after this assignment is over.
“I’ll take you back if you really—”
“No!” He interjects completely aware that Heaven is watching them - was watching them last night. If they went back together, there will be judgement. “I think it’d be best if I went alone…”
“Now?” Jeongguk stands moving closer to the other.
Taehyung shoots him a disturbed look. “What other choice do I have? I’m sick so I have to act on it as soon as I can. So, yes, now.”
“Will I see you after you’ve rested, Taehyung?”
“Stop asking me that!” He sighs, his voice wavering.
“Do you want me to wait for you down here?”
“Jeongguk, I don’t understand why that’s so important to you.” Taehyung blurts out, immediately regretting it because he knows exactly why this is important. He tells himself it’s best to be ignorant to it. Once he goes back, he won’t have these feelings anymore; no love, no loss, no heartbreak, and no regret for abandoning Jeongguk with such feelings that he can’t get rid of.
Jeongguk steps back, his heart completely shattered for the first time in centuries. The feeling is so alien to him he can’t tell if it’s painful. But it sure as hell doesn’t feel pleasant.
“Are you kidding me?” he says barely above a whisper, trying to hide the sadness in his voice.
“I—” the elder tries, second guessing himself.
He wants nothing more than to be with Jeongguk but he knows Heaven will never let him live it down without punishing him and reminding him how tainted his soul is. They can never be happy together. He can’t ignore who he is, the angel in him demanding him to stay loyal to the big guy in the clouds. He takes Jeongguk’s face in his hands and kisses him slowly but lightly as if saying their goodbyes.
“What did I tell you last night?” He whispers softly against his lips feeling the way Jeongguk clenches his jaw. “I don’t wanna lose this,” he doesn’t say it. He can’t say it out loud other wise it becomes a promise. A promise is the last thing he needs. He lets the memory of the words hang the air hoping that Jeongguk will understand.
“So tell me you’ll come back… tell me I won’t be waiting for nothing.”
“I don’t think they’ll let me.”
Jeongguk knows they won’t let him back out of that place. But what if they don’t let him in? The thought of leaving Taehyung to face oblivion alone is unbearable. And what if they punish him? He could never live with that, knowing he left Taehyung to suffer his consequences when he knows it should be Jeongguk, not him. They’ll strip him of his identity, make him lose all his memories so that his time with Jeongguk would mean nothing to him, they would practically kill him so that he’d have to be reborn. Jeongguk can’t let him go but he can’t do anything to help Taehyung while he’s on Earth. He has no choice but to ride on the hope that Heaven really is the forgiving place they make themselves out be.
They rest their foreheads against each other. Breathing in each other’s scent one last time. Jeongguk smells like flowers blooming in the spring dewy morning. Taehyung’s reminded him of a brand new patch of grass with the promise of it growing into a paradise. Like the Garden of Eden that grew trees of all sorts and flowers of all colours, and where Eve was so unfairly manipulated into sinning. Taehyung breathes in his scent savouring every last moment while still deciding whether he’s Adam or Eve.
“Continue the assignment, okay? Find answers for me, okay?”
Finding answers could be easy if Jeongguk even had the questions. He’s been an angel for a less amount of time as Taehyung. He has the least knowledge about these worlds and what to expect from them. But he was chosen to investigate because he’s strong and he’s loyal… he was loyal, not to Heaven for the most part.
“I’ll try my best. But I have no idea where to start,” the younger confesses.
Taehyung pulls them apart and caresses his face getting lost in the other’s eyes.
“You’ll know. You always do. I’ll watch over you.”
It’s the last thing Taehyung says to him as the younger shuts eyes trying to hold back more tears. The air in front of him is suddenly cold and empty, the touch on his skin dissolving, and the ache in his heart increasing immensely. When he opens his eyes, the tears come running, flooding down his face. He falls to his knees holding his face in his hands and sobs quietly to himself. He tried to tell himself he’s not gone for good, that there’s still hope, but he knows that chance is slim. If he finds answers soon, he could get him back himself.
Three weeks later—
Jeongguk spends most of his time at the library studying up on the history of Earth and what humans have done to it; educating himself in all ways possible to finish this impossible assignment alone. Had he been turned completely into a human, he would’ve left this alone and moved on into adapting to life as a mortal but God never fails to show him signs that he is still an angel, that he is still a slave under the Lord’s command.
He reads on philosophy whenever the common topic of war arises and deters him from the task at hand, taking great interest in how humans perceive their ultimate truths and he’s impressed at the accuracy of some - but it’s never exact. However there is one philosophy - developed by people who call themselves the Puritans - that even has the angel questioning the hidden agenda of the Lord.
Before he can further read into it, a well-tailored man slides in the seat across from Jeongguk. He greets Jeongguk with a nod and a smile before examining the pages on the open-wide book front of the angel.
“Ah, Religious Determinism? Reminds me of my high school classes,” the strangers comments with a gruff chuckle.
Jeongguk laughs tenuously, feeling small under the older man’s soft gaze. He hunches closer to his book, hiding away from the stranger’s admirable demeanour. Jeongguk notices he only has one book in front of him; a bible.
The angel quirks an eyebrow. “Read any inspiring passages?”
The man smiles to himself before opening up the book to a page marked with an orange sticky note. “‘There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.’ Comforting, no?” He asks, though it doesn’t sound genuine.
Jeongguk plays along. “Very,” he answers.
The man sighs. “I’m glad you agree…”
There’s a beat before Jeongguk is taking back is words. “No, actually,” he starts, eyes boring holes into the pages in front him to avoid the man’s curious stare, “I don’t agree.”
“Me too.”
Jeongguk’s head snaps up when the man doesn’t ask him why and he’s comforted by that, suddenly overcome with the urge to trust this man.
“I’m Jeongguk,” he greets, stretching out his hand across the table for a handshake.
“I’m Namjoon,” the man returns as he accepts the angel’s hand gently.
They shake hands and, for a second, Jeongguk feels a strong tug on his chest. He lets go of Namjoon’s hand swiftly but he doesn’t seem to notice the angel’s sudden fear.
“So, what’s the interest in Predestination?”
“What?”
Namjoon points to the book that Jeongguk seems to have already forgotten about.
“Oh! ‘Was just curious, I guess… are you… familiar with it? With Predestination, I mean?”
The other man chuckles lowly to himself. “I just studied it for a bit.”
“Can you tell me about it?” Jeongguk asks sounding a little more eager than he expects.
Namjoon ducks his head down giggling at the angel’s enthusiasm. “The book is right in front of you.”
Jeongguk slams the textbook shut, loud enough to catch irritated stares from the people around them. “Tell me your thoughts about it.”
The man takes a moment to stare at the angel in slight awe before shrugging. “Well, pretty much, it says that God has planned out the course of the world and the lives of every individual. And that includes whoever goes to Heaven or Hell.”
“Right.”
“So it basically says that humans are destined for damnation and only a selected few are chosen into salvation and that there’s nothing we can do to change it.”
Jeongguk stores that information in the back of his mind for later. “And what do you think about that?”
Namjoon leans back in his seat and crosses his arms. “Well, I think it’s pretty unfair, obviously. I could do everything in my power to be a good person but God is still gonna send me to Hell?”
Jeongguk is suddenly reminded of his time as a human. He’s reminded of all the times he had skipped out on going to mass to go out with friends, the times he’d broken the law but was alway let off with a warning because he was privileged with wealthy parents. How he consistently ignored the virtues of Christianity for his own selfish reason. How he manipulated Taehyung into sinning with him and yet he hadn’t been punished yet. And here he is sitting in the peace and quiet of a library still as an almighty angel that the humans look to for guidance and wisdom. Why was he chosen for salvation?
Before the angel can respond, he feels a presence behind him that has caught the attention of the human across from him. Then comes a familiar voice.
“Joonie, ready to go?” A soft male voice that has Jeongguk searching for a face in his memories.
“Sure,” says Namjoon before turning his attention to Jeongguk. “It is nice meeting you.”
“You too,” he replies as the man stands and walks away.
Jeongguk’s gaze follows his back as he leaves, a boy much shorter than him coming to his side. The taller of the two puts his arm around the shorter boy’s waist and the angel can only assume they’re a couple. When they turn a corner, Jeongguk catches sight of the boy’s profile, eyes blowing wide at the realization of who that familiar voice belongs to. Jimin.