Chapter Text
For the next few days, Billy's mind was on nothing but Ajax. They spent their days creating Shakespeare puns, belting 70s tunes, and scarfing down as much cheese poppers they can (it was 256, as of late). They were both drifters, so it made sense to find each other. Maybe Ajax was the one. He had to be-
"Billy! Are you even listening to me?"
Billy snapped out of his daydream, eyes darting back and forth to see if anyone had witnessed it.
"No one saw that you were grinning like a loon, Batson, relax." sighed an exasperated Freddy.
Flushing a bright red, he asked, "How long was I in this state?"
Freddy checked his watch. "An hour, forty-five minutes, and three seconds. Any longer and I would have had to slap you."
Humming a response, he gestured for Freddy to go on, only to have him stare cluelessly at him.
"What the hell are you doing? Is it BSL?"
"You're supposed to discuss something, no?"
"Right! Right. Yes, we need to discuss something. Yes." nodded Freddy, wanting to be anywhere else but at the cafeteria.
Billy was about to provide a snarky reply when the cafeteria doors burst open, revealing a figure dressed in..was that spandex?
"BILLY BATSON!" the figure's voice reverberated, their laser-like glare focused solely on him. The other students began to whisper indiscreetly amongst themselves. Billy had never wanted to be the floor so badly in his life.
"Yes, this is Fawcett Central Middle School, leave a message." said Billy nonchalantly, turning back to his fries while Freddy cowered in fear.
"DO NOT BE IMPUDENT WITH ME, BOY!" the figure slammed a hand onto a nearby table, causing it to collapse.
"Boy? You do realize that you look around the same age as we are, right?" asked Billy.
"AH! AS I WAS SAYING, ON BEHALF OF THE EVIL EX CO., WE WOULD LIKE YOU TO PARTICIPATE IN A DUEL FOR THE END OF TIMES! ACCEPT, OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!"
"Uhh, I'm gonna have to ask my foster parents on this, but it's cool."
"TOO LATE! YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN ON BEHALF OF ABDUL AL HASSAN! MEET US ON SATURDAY, 5:00 PM AT THE ABANDONED WAREHOUSE! IF YOU DELAY, WE WILL WREAK HAVOC! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!"
"Wait wha-"
"Thank you for listening, have a nice day." said the figure, before flying off, further ruining the cafeteria.
"Billy? Billy! Are you alright?" asked Freddy, frantically shaking a stunned Billy by the shoulders.
"Um, yeah, I'm okay, Freddy. W-we should probably go, though." stammered Billy as dodged the inquisitive stares and whispers from the neighboring students, only to be blocked by a familiar flash of pink hair.
"Batson! Fredward! Over here!" whispered Ajax furiously, pulling them into the nearest bathroom.
"Okay, Ajax," muttered Freddy, emphasizing Ajax's name, "What the ever-loving fuck was that? Chosen by your name for an evil Justice League?"
"I can explain-" said Ajax, only to be cut off once more by Freddy.
"Cut the bullshit, man! Tell us what the hell's going on!!"
"Freddy!" whispered Billy, smacking him upside the head. "He's trying to explain here, stop interrupting him!"
"Thank you!" huffed Ajax indignantly, before continuing. "That man- well, boy, is more like it, was my ex. We dated in the second grade but broke up after I moved away. He was never the same since.
"The Evil Ex Co. is a company formed by my seventh, yes, seventh, ex. You will have to battle each one in order to prevent judgment day and claim me as your new boyfriend."
"Okay, what the fuck?"
"Freddy!"
"Does that not sound shady to you? A battle of the exes in order to have you as his boyfriend? That sounds fucking weird to me man."
"It doesn't matter anymore, we only have days until the battle. I only wish you the best of luck, Billy Batson. Because you will need it."
As Ajax walked away, Freddy turned to Billy and whispered, "And I thought romance is dead."