Chapter Text
Later, extensive testing would confirm what he already knew; he was cured. He feels around ten thousand years younger.
The doctors that have been treating him are absolutely stunned. Malcolm specifically says it's nothing short of miraculous. There is only one person he wants to tell, wants to confess everything to. But Keith is with the Blades, and not even in the same star system.
Shiro gets a message relayed out to deep space anyway. It's simple, short.
'Please come back to Earth when you have time. I need to tell you something. Stay safe out there.'
He doesn't expect one at all, but he gets a response less than twenty four hours later. It's also short.
'I'll be back in two days. Are you ok?'
Shiro smiles at his datapad and the simple words, the intense concern they manage to convey. He can almost hear Keith's voice. 'I think I finally am, yeah. I'll see you soon. Don't worry, everything is alright.'
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Shiro's somewhat ominous messages are the only thing that Keith can think about for the next two days.
They completely consume his mind.
Endless possibilities running in circles. Something has to be wrong. Shiro never asks for anything. Let alone for Keith to do something. Not anymore. With a pang of heartache as he flies back towards Earth's solar system, Keith wonders if it has something to do with Lieutenant Curtis.
Shiro hadn’t talked about the man much in the time since they returned from their mission to stop Honerva, but then, they haven’t spoken to one another much at all.
His stomach is in knots until he sees the familiar blue sphere of his home planet come on the radar. At that point he just feels like maybe he needs to throw up. And an awful possibility occurs to him as he breaks atmosphere. What if Shiro is going to tell him he’s getting married? He didn’t think things were that serious between the two men, but then, when you’re avoiding someone, inevitably you miss a lot.
Dread is weighing him down by the time he lands. He can barely bring himself to send the message letting Shiro know he’s here. He really wants to throw up. Only his Blade training lets him keep his stomach in check. If he came back to Earth just to be told that the man he loves is going to be forever out of his reach… he doesn’t know what he’ll do. Probably something dramatic like fling himself into a black hole. Or more realistically, let himself be posted as far away as possible, so no one will have to witness his pathetic heartbreak.
He thinks the other Paladins know. That he’s in love with Shiro. He’s never been good at hiding it. The way he looks at him, the lingering gazes and the steadfast devotion. Even the blind could tell he’s been in love with the man all along.
Keith allows himself a long few minutes of silent breathing exercises to calm himself down, and drive out the feeling of nausea.
Eventually he forces himself to get out of his small ship, not bothering to change out of his Blade uniform and not having anything to change into anyway. He has to meet Shiro soon, and he doesn’t want to be late.
For some reason, Shiro asked him to meet at one of the Garrison hangars. When he arrives, he’s not surprised to see the man waiting for him. It takes him a moment to say hello, and all his deep breathing to calm himself down is quickly rendered worthless by the way his heart starts pounding. It’s been months since they’ve seen each other, but Shiro is still just as gorgeous. “Hey…”
“Hey yourself. Thanks for coming, Keith. I know you’re busy with the Blades, but…” It was always so endearing, the way Shiro runs a nervous hand over the back of his head.
“It’s ok. What did you want to talk about?” A luxite blade couldn’t cut through the knots his insides were twisting themselves into.
Shiro answers with an easy smile and more familiarity than Keith has heard him speak with in months. He gestures with a pearly white mechanical thumb at two hover bikes behind him. “How about we go for a ride first?”
“Uh… you can’t tell me now?” Keith would rather run than race, but he doesn’t want to run from Shiro. Never Shiro. He does however, want to know what Shiro asked him back to Earth to tell him.
“I… I mean, I could… but…” His disappointment is almost palpable.
Keith can’t stand the kicked puppy dog look on his face. He’s weak to Shiro and he always has been. What he wants, whatever he wants, Keith will give him. “If it's that important to you, we can go for a ride.”
Shiro let out a deep exhale of relief. “Thanks, Keith.”
“Sure, Shiro. Anything for you.”
It was hard not to tear up at the heartfelt words, and how they sounded wounded and raw. Keith, still patient with him, even after everything, still hurting because of what Shiro had done, and what he’d never said.
Shiro wanted - needed - to fix this. He hoped tonight would be a start in that direction. Hoped that Keith would forgive him once he knew. Hoped that after all this time with it going unaddressed, that he wasn’t too late, that it wasn’t too much to ask.
They take the bikes out, and on the ride to wherever Shiro is leading him, Keith’s heart aches with how familiar and easy it all feels. But his mind is still racing faster than the hoverbikes, and he just can’t calm down completely. He figures this is probably Shiro’s way to soften him up for whatever he has to tell him, and as the sun dips closer to the horizon bit by bit, his anxiety grows.
When they finally stop, Keith still feels like the engine inside the bike is vibrating through him even though they’re both turned off. He’s tense, and he knows it’s showing. He’s afraid to ask. Afraid to know.
“So… what did you want to tell me?” It’s so hard to keep his voice steady, to not let it catch in his throat. He can’t even make himself look over at the white haired man.
”I… was sick. Again. My illness came back. I found out once we got back to Earth. And it was worse than before. I think it must have been some sort of failsafe, built into the clone bodies...”
Shiro’s voice was soft, gentle, but the words still felt like a gut punch. All color rapidly drained from Keith’s face. Shiro, dying? No. NO. Keith felt like he couldn’t breath, like his brain was shutting down. This, this isn’t what he had expected to hear. This was infinitely worse. “Shiro…”
His friend offered a small reassuring smile that quickly shifted to concern accompanied by both hands quickly resting themselves solidly on his shoulders to get his attention. “Keith, Keith- I’m ok now. Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I should have led with that-“
“You… you’re not dying?” Keith had to gulp back tears, coaching himself back away from the edge of terror he’d been teetering on.
“Not anymore, no.” Shiro quickly shook his head to underline his words. “Thanks to Allura.”
“Oh god, oh thank god.” Keith wanted to sink to his knees, but somehow held himself steady. The whiplash of emotions was almost too much. But Shiro was ok. That was what mattered. “Why didn’t you tell me, Shiro?!” He didn’t raise his voice, he wouldn’t, couldn’t at the man he cared for so much, but he was still furious.
“I’m sorry, Keith. I… I didn’t want any of you to know. I thought you would ask me to stay, but I knew we needed the Atlas… Sam and Matt knew, and Coran, but I asked them to keep it a secret.”
“Shiro are you joking?! How could you think I would ask you to stay behind just because you were sick?”
“Because I know how much you care about me. You, and all of you. And because I… didn’t want to make things any harder when I thought the inevitable would happen. It’s why I was acting distant. I’m sorry…” Saying it aloud made the explanation feel hollow, absolutely paper thin, but it was the only excuse he had, even if it was a poor defense, and idiotic in hindsight.
Keith was still reeling from the revelation. Suddenly so many things that hadn’t made sense before did. Missing puzzle pieces finally fitting into place. But one question floated to the surface. “Does… your boyfriend know?”
Shiro’s expression of confusion didn’t make any sense, nor his reply. ”My- But I don’t have a… Oh. OH. Keith, I-“
The embarrassment suddenly on Shiro’s face made even less sense than the confusion to Keith. “You… don’t?” There was hope in his words, carefully guarded. “But you said- What about whats-his-name? ...Curtis?”
“No. Me and Malcom aren’t… Curtis was my doctor, Keith. We never dated.”
“Then why did you say that? Why did you lie?” And just as importantly, his brain insisted, why did Shiro still have bothhis hands on his shoulders?
“It was the first thing I thought of, to be honest. The easiest cover story that I thought would keep you away from the truth… Malcolm and I are friends, but…” He paused and gave a faint sigh. Shiro shook his head gently, then smiled at the earnest expression on Keith’s face, hands squeezing his shoulders in emphasis. "Keith. It's you. It's always been you. I love you.”
A gasp passed over Keith’s lips, his eyes widening. Was this actually happening? How could this actually be happening? Shiro just- “You... what?” His voice came out as a hoarse croak. His heart was pounding again, but not in panic this time.
“I love you, Keith.”
It was no less impactful hearing it a second time. Especially not with Shiro pinning him with that gentle patient gaze.
“Say it again.” Keith’s hands reached up, seemingly of their own accord, tangling themselves in the front of Shiro’s shirt, clinging to his presence.
“I love you. I’m in love with you. And I regret not telling you sooner… but I was afraid, I didn’t want you to lose me, to put you through that-“
Keith’s lips swiftly silenced any other forthcoming apologies.
They both gasped quietly as they parted, only enough to breath. Keith’s eyes burned with intensity. “It doesn’t matter. You’re here now. It doesn’t matter. I love you, Shiro. I love you so much…”
The press of Shiro’s hands on his shoulders quickly morphed to a tight embrace encircling his back, broad strong arms that Keith had imaged holding him so many times.
“I’m sorry, Keith… for lying to you… for being afraid.” His thick brows pinched together with apology.
“Shiro, it doesn’t matter. It’s ok. I forgive you. I’d forgive you for anything, I’d do anything for you. Don’t you know that by now?” Keith let out a tearful laugh.
“How can you just... forgive me so easily?”
“Because I love you. Because I get it. You think I don’t know about pushing people away out of fear? That’s exactly what I always did before I met you.”
Shiro huffed out a faint laugh in the small space between them. “Yeah… I guess that’s true.”
“I wish you’d told me sooner, but I get it. I do. And I’m glad you’re ok. That’s all I care about. You’re all I care about…” A careful hand made its way to brush Shiro’s cheek, the touch light and almost reverent.
“Keith….”
“I love you. Kiss me again, Shiro.” It was an almost breathless plea.
Shiro couldn’t resist the request, and didn’t even want to try. Their lips met again, and again, sliding against one another, tasting and breathing in each other in small tender moments of intimate exploration broken only by tiny gasps between each parting. One of Shiro’s hands ends up tangled in Keith’s long hair, the other hooked securely around his lower back in a tight hold. Keith’s caress Shiro’s cheek and cradle the back of his head.
Both stare at the other with an intensity that speaks silent volumes and a multitude of hopes and promises to come.
A few minutes later, still wrapped up in one another’s embrace, they watch the sun slip below the desert horizon, painting the sky and rocks in a thousand shades of warmth, and for the first time in years, they both feel as if everything will be ok.
———
End.