Chapter Text
“I didn’t mean to cause a fight between you and Sam.”
Dean paused in the middle of taking another bite of his cheeseburger. Castiel had been changed and was now contentedly sleeping, so he was taking advantage of the momentary quiet to eat. But it looked like his meal wasn’t quite as peaceful as he’d hoped it would be. He sighed and lowered his burger, twisting around to look at the two beds. Gabriel sat on the empty one, staring at his feet.
“What?” Dean said, already resigned to what was shaping up to be another uncomfortable conversation. It was hard to believe that two nights ago, his biggest concern had been whether or not he’d be able to find Castiel. And now, he’d basically adopted two angels. Sometimes he missed the good old days, where angels were just dicks with wings and not Dean’s responsibility.
“I didn’t think Sam would react that way,” Gabriel went on, still determinedly not meeting Dean’s eyes. “I thought… I dunno. I guess it shouldn’t have surprised me.”
“Sam can be a bitch sometimes,” Dean said. He popped a fry in his mouth.
Gabriel sighed. “But he’s right too, isn’t he? You’re a hunter. You can’t hunt with us around. It’s not safe for Cassie. Maybe I should just take him and leave.”
“I swear to god, Gabriel, if I wake up to find you two gone in the middle of the night, I will hunt you down. And you will not like what happens when I find you,” Dean snarled. His stomach fluttered uncomfortably at the idea. He’d only just gotten Castiel back.
“I didn’t say I was going to do it. It was just a suggestion,” Gabriel said defensively.
“Yeah, well, you can take those kinds of suggestions and cram them up your ass. You and Cas aren’t going anywhere,” Dean said, adopting the sternest tone he could muster.
“Me and Cas?” Gabriel repeated. He finally looked over at Dean. And Dean may not have known him well, but there was no mistaking the vulnerable expression plastered all over Gabriel’s face at that moment. Dean sighed and took another bite of his burger to fortify himself, and to give himself an extra moment to think of what to say. Words weren’t exactly his strong point, but something needed to be said.
He wasn’t completely sold on keeping Gabriel around, but nor was he sure about sending what was essentially a super-powered teenager out into the world. Gabriel got up to enough mischief when he was considered an adult; Dean couldn’t imagine what he would be capable of right now. Besides that, he didn’t want to think about what would happen if heaven, hell or the Leviathans got a hold of Gabriel.
“You and Cas,” he confirmed finally. “Look, you can probably take care of yourself. I’m aware of that. You’re way more used to Earth than Cas is, and you’re not… you know… a baby.” He waved a limp hand in Gabriel’s direction. “Teenagers have shitty impulse control, so as long as you don’t kill anyone or explode any volcanoes or anything like that, you’re pretty free to go.
“But you’re still Cas’s big brother, and I know he still recognizes you. He had a hard time when he got cut off from heaven. Having you around would probably be good for him. And I suspect it would be good for you too. Not having any family around for centuries has gotta suck,” Dean said. Gabriel had practically spelled that out in huge, block letters when he locked Sam and Dean into those television shows.
He leaned forward and shrugged. “Besides, if Sam isn’t going to stick around, then it would be nice to have help with Cas. I get that you’re not familiar with humans, but you should know that babies are a lot of work. They require round the clock care, basically. Cas won’t be any different.”
“You’re not afraid I’ll kill you again?” Gabriel asked, sounding genuinely curious.
Dean shrugged. “I figure you can’t. Who else would be willing to take care of Cas?” He crammed the last of his burger into his mouth and chewed smugly, raising both eyebrows at Gabriel. Whether Gabriel recognized it or not, Dean was basically essential to both angels now.
“That’s true. Though I’m sure I could mind control some humans into doing it,” Gabriel said.
“You could, but you won’t,” Dean growled. “Hands off humanity, Gabriel. I mean it.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Gabriel waved a hand. “So… what does this mean for you hunting?”
“I’ve been thinking about it. We can make it work, if Sam wants to. When we find a hunt, he and I can take care of it while you watch Cas,” Dean said decisively. “Especially if we find somewhere to set up base camp.” It had been a long time since they’d had that. John Winchester hadn’t really believed in needing an actual house to call a home. The Impala had been his, and Sam’s and Dean’s, home.
But that wasn’t realistic with a baby. Dean remembered all too well what it had been like on those nights when John was driving on old dirt roads or through repeated construction sites. Getting baby Sam to sleep had been next to impossible, and dealing with a cranky baby Sam had been a nightmare. He had no desire to go through that again anytime soon.
He didn’t know where they’d find a base camp. Before Bobby died, the answer would’ve been obvious. And they could probably go back to Sioux Falls and figure out a way to get their hands on Bobby’s house, especially with Gabriel around. But Dean didn’t want to do that. It wouldn’t be the same without Bobby there, and Sioux Falls wasn’t centrally located enough for it to make sense.
“And if Sam doesn’t want to?” Gabriel asked, drawing Dean’s attention back to him.
Dean shrugged. “I hunted alone while Sam was at law school. I can do it again,” he said. He didn’t like hunting alone, but he could do it if he had to. Maybe with two angels to deal with, he wouldn’t want to hunt at all.
Gabriel stared at him with narrowed eyes for several seconds before he slowly nodded. “Alright. Sounds good to me. I’ll stick around for a while then, but only because you’re the only person who can take care of Cas the way he deserves.”
“Sure,” Dean said, not believing that for a second. He crinkled up the bag that his burger and fries had come in and tossed it in the trash, then patted his stomach and sighed. He’d have to talk to Sam again, but that could wait. It would be better to give his brother a few hours, if not longer, to cool off. Sam had a hell of a temper, but the only person he’d ever held a grudge against was their father. Once Sam calmed down, he’d start thinking about all the things that Castiel had done for them and realizing that this really was the best solution.
Or maybe this would be the time where Sam actually did what Dean had told him to do, said to hell with hunting and took off. Dean didn’t know. He hoped that wasn’t the case, but he’d figured out a long time ago that you couldn’t make Sam stay somewhere that Sam didn’t want to be. Trying to do so was an exercise in futility, and would only serve to make Sam surly and even more pissed off.
“I’m going to take a shower,” he told Gabriel, and went into the bathroom. He stripped off his clothes, climbed into the shower, cranked on the water and then just… stood there. For several minutes. Staring up into the spray and contemplating how his life had ended up like this.
He’d retrieved his bag from the room he and Sam had been sharing earlier, so at least he had a clean change of clothes when he finally climbed out. No sooner had he hauled on a fresh pair of boxers than he heard Castiel let out a shriek. It wasn’t a ‘having loads of fun with my big brother’ shriek either, but more of a ‘I’m going to die if you don’t help me in the next ten seconds’ shriek. Dean dropped his towel and sprinted out the door.
“I didn’t do anything!” Gabriel blurted out the second he saw Dean, which meant that he probably had done something. But at the moment, Dean didn’t particularly care.
“You’ve warded the room against sound, right?” Dean asked, already rushing over to Castiel. He barely listened to Gabriel’s acknowledgement, too busy leaning over Castiel and doing a quick inventory to see what was wrong. The diaper was dry, not wet or soiled, which meant that he was most likely hungry.
It might’ve seemed strange for hunger to frighten Castiel so much, but it only took Dean a few seconds to figure out why. Hunger was a foreign sensation to an angel. Castiel had only dealt with it a couple of times before, mostly because Dean and Sam had tried to keep him regularly fed after food became a necessity for him last time. They were going to have to get Castiel on a schedule fast.
He sat down on the bed and pulled Castiel up into a hug. “Ssshh, Cas. It’s okay. I’m here. I’m right here,” he said into Castiel’s ear. “You’re just hungry. Maybe even thirsty.”
“I got bottles,” Gabriel volunteered, jumping up.
“If you got bottles, why were you trying to feed him a cheeseburger earlier?” Dean asked.
Gabriel shrugged. “I didn’t know what to put in them. What do babies eat?”
“Milk, usually. But that won’t be enough for Cas.” Dean thought for a moment. “Get some milk and some mashed potatoes. Can you do that?”
“Gone,” Gabriel said, and then he really was. Dean blinked at the spot where he’d been and then shook his head, returning his attention to Castiel.
“Hey there,” he said gently, realizing that Castiel had calmed enough that he wasn’t screaming anymore. He stared up at Dean with huge blue eyes. Dean smiled back, realizing that Castiel was kind of cute this way. It was easy to forget he was actually a soldier of heaven.
He sighed and wiped Castiel’s face. “This is kinda screwed up, Cas. I can’t argue with Sam on that front. But I’m gonna figure it out, okay? I won’t abandon you or Gabriel, even though your brother is still kind of a dick.”
Castiel giggled.
“Yeah, you like that? You like me calling your brother a great big dick?” Dean said in a goofy voice, making a face. He was inordinately pleased when Castiel giggled louder. For as long as he’d known Castiel, the angel had always been very serious. It was a rare moment when Castiel actually lightened up and smiled, and he seemed like a relatively happy baby all things considered.
He wondered, this time around, if they could make it so that Castiel had a relatively happy upbringing. Dean’s childhood had sucked, but at least he’d had one. Sort of. Angels didn’t get any kind of childhood at all. They were just zapped into being, fully formed and ready to obey. No wonder all of them were such dicks and took everything so seriously. He didn’t want Castiel to be like that; he wanted to show Castiel that sometimes life could be fun.
He got up and did some more poking through the stuff Gabriel had brought. Some of it was useless and not at all what Castiel would need; he’d have to get Gabriel to get rid of it later. But he managed to unearth a couple of toys and, better yet, a teddy bear. It was very soft to the touch, with brownish red fur, a white belly and paws, and round black marbles for eyes. Dean stroked it for a few seconds, remembering the teddy bear he used to have that had perished in the fire that killed Mary.
That teddy bear had been his constant companion for the first four years of his life. Dean had a very vivid memory of crying for it one night and his father just breaking down and screaming at him that it, like everything else, was gone. Then John had stormed out. When he returned, he’d come with a stuffed elephant – but only one. Dean had quietly sacrified the stuffed toy to baby Sammy and never said another word about the subject.
“Ba,” Castiel said behind him, and Dean startled.
“Sorry, little dude,” he said, turning around. He moved closer and held the stuffed bear out to Castiel, curious to see what would happen.
Castiel cocked his head like a puppy, looking at the bear with a wrinkled brow. Slowly, like he thought the bear might suddenly jump at him, he reached out to touch it. He gasped when his fingers made impact with the fur, eyes widening in wonder. Dean had to smile as he handed the bear over and watched Castiel clasp it against his chest and rub his cheek against its fur.
“This is a teddy bear,” Dean told him, though he wasn’t sure if Castiel would even know what that meant. He didn’t know how much Castiel could understand him, or if everything he said sounded like gibberish. Were they going to have to teach Castiel to talk, even?
He sighed and sat down on the other bed, watching Castiel coo to himself and rub his face against the bear. At least he seemed to like it, and Dean was glad that Gabriel’d had the forethought to get it. All little kids deserved to have a stuffed toy if they wanted one. Castiel’s life hadn’t been easy or fun up until this point, so he deserved all the stuffed toys in the world as far as Dean was concerned.
Gabriel popped back into the room as suddenly as he’d left, bearing more milk and a steaming bowl. “Here you go,” he said, handing the items off to Dean. Then he was gone again.
Dean narrowed his eyes at the spot where Gabriel had been, at once curious to know but apprehensive to know. “Your brother is gonna be a pain in my ass,” he said to Castiel. How the hell Dean was going to wrangle a teenaged archangel was beyond him.
He stirred the bowl of mashed potatoes and then tasted them. They were soft and creamy, perfect for a baby. Then he sat on the edge of Castiel’s bed and scooped some onto the spoon. Castiel didn’t want to try them at first; he whined and hid his face against the bear. So Dean resorted to what he’d done when Sam was a kid: he made loud rumbling noises, swirled the spoon around, and then popped it into Castiel’s open mouth when Castiel was suitably distracted.
Once Castiel tasted them, he had no problem demolishing the rest of the bowl.
With the mashed potatoes gone, Dean poured some of the milk into a bottle and ran it under hot water to warm it up. A hotel room really wasn’t feasible, he thought again. They needed somewhere with a kitchen, and preferably a larger bathroom with a bigger bath. It would be good too if Castiel could have his own room and somewhere peaceful he could go for naps.
“You deserve a home, Cas,” he muttered to himself. They all did.
He turned away from the sink to find that Castiel was watching him. Dean held his gaze as he walked back over to the bed. Castiel lifted a hand as he approached, and Dean tensed in surprise when Castiel touched him on the upper arm. Even over Dean’s shirt, Castiel’ss hand slotted into place over the handprint perfectly. Dean exhaled in surprise, realizing that this confirmed it. Castiel definitely remembered him. How much Castiel remembered was up for debate, but he knew Dean.
“De,” Castiel said.
“Yeah, Cas. That’s right. I’m Dean,” he said, sinking down onto the bed. “Want some milk?”
Castiel blinked curiously at the bottle and willingly opened his mouth this time. It took Dean a moment to figure out the best way to go about this, but finally he propped Castiel’s upper body up on some pillows and leaned over him to hold the nipple to Castiel’s lips. Castiel latched on, though it took him a few moments to figure out what to do to actually get at the milk. When he got his first mouthful, he grunted in surprise and Dean chuckled.
“Good man, that’s right. Drink it all up, Cas,” he said, watching as Castiel swallowed. Honestly, Dean had no idea what was going to happen from here on out. He hoped that Sam would come around, and that Gabriel would grow to be less skittish, and that the four of them would find a place to squat together. But even if that didn’t happen, he was confident that he and Castiel were going to be just fine.