Chapter Text
“And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
'Cause I like to keep my issues strong
It's always darkest before the dawn”
______________
-FOUR YEARS AGO-
They met when Charles was dancing, which was no surprise. Charles lived to dance.
He was out with Hank, Alex and Sean. They’d put their smiles and Alex’s abs to the test (thank god for lecherous bouncers) and had somehow finagled their way into Don Hills, the current place to be if you were young and beautiful.
And they certainly are beautiful, Charles thought to himself. He would definitely be taking someone home tonight. It had been weeks (fucking midterms) and he desperately needed someone on top of him, under him, inside of him.
The club was packed. It took about five minutes to shove through the bodies between the door and the bar. If Charles hadn’t had a generous helping of whiskey at Sean’s apartment an hour earlier he would have casually nudged the minds of those around them, easing them out of his path. But he didn’t like to rely on his telepathy when he was under the influence. His morals, loose as they already were, started to slip dangerously when he was inebriated.
He planned to be very inebriated tonight.
Already he was starting to feel woozy. The whiskey plus the crush of intoxicated minds all around him was not overwhelming but it was certainly making him feel more than buzzed. Most of the people here were on something, thanks to Don Hills’ hip and youthful clientele and their lax (read: nonexistent) drug policy. The boy Charles was currently pushing against was smoking a blunt while bartering with a girl for some ecstasy.
Alex and Sean were already whispering into strangers' ears, trying to find something to get them going for night. Hank was doing his best disapproving expression but he’d take whatever Alex gave him and would probably be the one who ended the night attempting to climb buildings naked.
Charles never needed to actually consume anything when they went out, although he did occasionally enjoy the physical ritual of it all. He could simply open his mind to those around him and let their euphoria overwhelm him and drag him under. He slipped into the mind of the boy with the blunt they’d just passed and let himself enjoy the heavy, heady feeling the weed was slowly spreading through him. A girl about twenty feet away was tripping hard on LSD and Charles was tempted to take a peek for a moment, see the world through borrowed, chemically-altered eyes, but he refrained. For now.
The club was dark, hazy with smoke. A pervasive heat was being generated by the crush of moving bodies. He and his friends finally reached the bar and Charles, after a pleading look from Sean, got the bartender’s attention with a brief mental nudge. He caught a flash of interest when the bartender’s eyes found him and Charles was sure his interest was reflected right back. The man was tall, broad and well muscled, just the way Charles liked them.
He leaned onto the counter and gave his order, grinning suggestively all the while. Charles was buzzed enough to rationalize peeking and he wasn’t disappointed with what he found. The bartender, who offered the name Thor (Charles bit back a giggle) when he handed over the thee drinks, was definitely interested. He was taking in Charles’ lips, the pale expanse of his throat, the lean figure Charles’ tank top emphasized. Charles let his own interest show plainly on his face and Thor’s grin grew wider. Charles let himself imagine bringing Thor to his apartment, the larger man tossing him roughly onto his bead and fucking into him, a harsh, unrelenting rhythm like the beat of a drum. Charles could hear the beat in his head, feel it in his veins.
Charles handed the boys their drinks and took the offered shot with the bartender, leaving him with a sly nod and a promise to return. If he didn’t find someone he liked better (and with a glance back at those arms he knew he probably wouldn't), Charles would most certainly be taking Thor home tonight.
He followed his friends from the noisy bar area to the noisier dance floor. All of the tables were full of those who felt too cool dance but still wanted to be seen. About 70% of them were wearing black. No one here was older than 25 and just about everyone was attractive, the doormen were fairly discerning.
Charles moved into the crowd, not looking back to see if his friends were following. They would need a bit to let their drinks and drugs kick in before they joined the fray, but Charles just needed to get to the center of the crowd and start dancing.
First he let the music wash over him, his hips finding the beat. It was a track by the Bloody Beetroots, an electronic band he’d seen a few times at Webster Hall and thoroughly enjoyed, and the beat was harsh and unrelenting. Charles gave himself over to it, raising his arms in the air. He moved for a few moments, simply enjoying the freedom of being young and happy and alive.
And then he opened that deeper part of himself and let it free.
Under the flashing lights, with the bass pounding in their ears and the chemicals running through their systems, there was little coherent thought. Snatches of-
love this song
look at him I’d fuck
best shit I’ve had since
ow my foot
so gooooood
-but mostly there was sensation. All at once he was one in a crowd and at the same time the crowd itself. A mass of flesh and sound and pleasure. He felt vibrantly and gloriously present. For this one blissful second that felt like infinity, everything else that was wrong in the world fell away. It rolled over him and his breath grew heavy, his body thrummed with energy and he grew painfully, achingly hard in his tight jeans.
He let it all wash over him for a few moments before reeling himself back in. He felt as though he’d had a few more drinks, several pulls off a joint, a tab of ecstasy and possibly a few lines of cocaine. He breathed deeply, the feeling gradually fading and becoming slightly less overwhelming. He was now at a level of fucked-upness that he’d only need to replenish a few more times that evening. He danced, shaking off the long week of schoolwork and presentations (a double major in genetics and music was something that no one should ever again attempt), his parent’s expectations, the argument with Raven, trying to write a song that wasn't utter shit. He let everything go and let himself simply be.
Grinning maniacally and still shaking to the beat, Charles now allowed himself to flit from mind to mind individually. His friends were a few feet away. Alex carefully rolling a cigarette while Hank fought the urge to lecture him about the dangers of smoking and Sean shook hands with a cute punk girl, then discreetly passing the two other pills she’d given him to the Hank and Alex, taking the third himself. Charles’ mind spun away from them and hovered over a girl who was watching the lights above them stretch and spin and change colors. Charles sunk into her mind and delighted in watching with her for a several moments before moving on to-
Oh.
Oh.
Oh god.
He had never felt a mind like this. Rigidly structured and full of passion and intelligence and, god, power. Charles had felt the minds of mutants before, powerful ones, but nothing like this. This mind was made of metal and it positively thrummed with nearly inexhaustible strength. Charles couldn’t help himself from going deeper, faster. He didn’t even realize that he’d stopped dancing and was standing still in the center of the crowd.
This was Erik Lehnsherr and he was 21, studying architecture at the New School. He was had a deep-seated distrust of non-mutants and lived in a loft in Bushwick that he shared with two other boys who were both mutants…one of them had a prehensile tail and could teleport. Erik had been born in Germany and had seen his mother die, terribly. Erik’s favorite book was Brave New World but was really To Kill a Mockingbird and he had a friend named Emma who enjoyed nothing more than teasing him mercilessly whenever she could.
All of this Charles knew in an instant, this and more. In a single moment that lasted the breadth of infinity he saw who Erik Lehnsherr was, really truly was at his very core.
Charles knew that love at first sight existed to a degree. He’d seen it in people’s memories, seen how they had met the person they loved and had just known instantly.
This felt a bit like that.
He was so deep in Erik’s mind that he felt the panic almost before Erik was consciously aware of it. The other boy had taken a few pills his roommate had given him and he was starting to have an adverse effect. His breath was becoming labored and his chest was tightening. The bodies around him seemed to be closing in, it felt like he was drowning. In a few second he would lose his footing and fall-
Charles moved on instinct, lashing out at the minds standing in his way and forcing them to move until a path the exact size of his body was cleared. When he saw Erik for the first time it was from behind. He had no time to appreciate the tall, muscular build, the firm ass in tight black jeans. Erik was already starting to loose his balance and Charles put on a burst of speed and suddenly he was there, wrapping his arms around Erik and speaking into his mind
I’ve got you
calm your mind
you’re not alone, I’ve got you
The other boy turned in his arms and looked at Charles with wide, expressive eyes.
you’re in my head
can’t think straight
eyes, so blue
need to get out
“Come one, I’ve got you,” Charles speaks into the shell of Erik’s ear. The other boy shivered and Charles, despite his worry, felt ridiculously excited.
He sent a quick message to his friends that he had to run out and he may or may not be back. They are used to his sometimes-erratic behavior, always chasing after minds (and bodies) that intrigue him and send him off with a mental wave.
Charles wrapped his arm around Erik, keeping him steady and gently creating a path for him. He ‘s stone cold sober now, having given himself the mental equivalent of a bucket of water to the face. Or maybe, he thought, looking sidelong at Erik, like jumping into a freezing cold sea. He feels adrift and barely able to hold onto boy at his side.
Charles filed that line of thought away for later, it could be a good base for a song. Already there’s music working it’s way through his head, music that, if he’s honest, started the moment he found Erik’s mind in the crowd.