Chapter Text
So Jungkook may or may not have made a mistake.
For the third time this week, he finds himself sitting backwards on a chair listening to Jimin go on and on about The Amazing Sejun.
Two days ago, Jimin and Sejun had spent a large part of the night talking about… stuff. Jimin had told Jungkook what the stuff was but Jungkook had stopped paying attention at some point and even though he’s pretty confident about his nodding and humming skills, he’s still pretty amazed he had managed to fool his hyung then.
Anyway, stuff had been the subject two days ago, and the subject the day before that had been about how unintentionally funny Sejun is and how well their last date had gone and how Sejun is still very similar to the young boy Jimin remembers from home…
Tonight’s theme seems to be covering a lot of subjects as Jimin’s lounging on the living room couch, feet dangling rom the armrest and gaze fixed to the ceiling. His face is twisting into a little smile every time he recalls a sweet memory and the sight is too adorable for Jungkook to be mad about it.
Also, he had promised Jimin to listen to him and he had no plan to disappoint him again.
« And then we weren’t put in the same class our last year of junior high but he’d make it a point to wait for me every Thursday afternoon so we could go home together. I thought there might be something there at the time but I couldn’t be sure, you know ? » Jimin’s hands wave animatedly in the air as he tells Jungkook about his younger self’s memories of Sejun. «I wasn’t even sure of myself at the time, it would have been pointless to even try anything, but I had my doubts ».
Jungkook runs a hand though his hair, « so how long have you known him actually ? » he asks.
« Since we were 6, but we weren’t really friends back then. We went to the same school and our parents were friends so when we grew up they made us study together, that’s how we became friends » Jimin answers easily.
« Why did we never hear about him before ? I mean, you told us about most of your friends, I met some of them too… » Jungkook asks, placing his chin on his folded hands on top of the chair on which he’s still sitting backwards.
« Ah that… we kind of lost touch when I left for Seoul, I was so busy all the time and he’s never really been part of my group of friends, so there wasn’t even that to keep us, you know, connected or whatever » Jimin explains, he’s fiddling with his fingers in a way that tells Jungkook he’s not really at ease with the whole thing. « You know, he tried for a while, texts and calls and … I just, I don’t know, I didn’t have much time but I didn’t really try either, you know ? » He finishes and jungkook can hear the guilt in his soft voice.
Jimin is so attached to this Sejun guy these days that Jungkook is genuinely startled at the admission. It does’t make sense to Jungkook because he knows his hyung is the kind of person to see through even the most mundane little objective he sets up for himself.
Jimin is persistent as fuck, they all are and they wouldn’t have gotten where they are today if it wasn’t the case, but Jimin ? Jimin is his own level of persistent.
Jungkook remembers wanting to rip out is own hair trying to convince Jimin to just eat something, anything, when he would go on his extreme/destructive diets…
« What ? Why not ? » Jungkook asks him, eyebrows furrowing It comes out a bit brusque without him meaning to so when Jimin’s head turns to him with a stunned look, he quickly ads « I mean, I know we were seriously slaving over schedules back then, all of us, but… texting back only takes a few seconds …? »
Jimin’s eyes turn back to the ceiling, he’s silent for a few seconds before he exhales. His hands are on his stomach and his fingers are unconsciously tapping a gentle rhythm against it. He doesn’t answer for a long time and Jungkook is starting to think he won’t at all so he slowly gets up from his chair and goes to sit on the other side of the couch. When he’s about to ask Jimin if there’s anything particular he’d like watch on TV, the other startles him again by rearranging himself into a cross-legged sitting position on the couch but facing Jungkook.
«There are multiple reasons. One is I was scared » he tells Jungkook frankly « I had worked so hard to debut with you all and I didn’t wanna risk jeopardizing any of it for something that might not even be that great, you know? I had worked too hard. »
« Oh » Jungkook lets out dumbly and Jimin can’t help but smile at the endearing expression on the younger’s face. He really looks like a boy sometimes. He scoots a bit closer to Jungkook so he can run a hand through his hair and feels him leaning into the touch. His hair is getting significantly longer and he shows no intention of cutting it. Jimin likes it very much.
Jungkook’s eyes close as he rests his back against the couch and tilts his head back. He’s always liked having his hair played with, he finds it soothing, and Jimin would indulge him a lot back then. Not so much anymore (Jimin must have gotten sick of it at some point, he’s not going to blame him) so it’s a pleasant surprise having him do it unprompted.
« None of us at the time were allowed to think of dating, not to mention I didn’t know you guys very well either so I didn’t know how you would even deal with the not-straight thing at the time» Jimin continues.
Jungkook hums in understanding.
« It was selfish but I would do it again » Jimin finishes.
« I would have been miserable, you know? I remember how much time you spent on me back then, I basically relied on you for survival, hyung. What would I have done ? » only Jungkook’s tone is joking since everything he just said is essentially true. Dramatic, sure, but true. He’s smiling as he says it and his eyes don’t open until he feels Jimin’s hand stop moving and leave his hair. « Hyung ? »
He looks at Jimin and sees him with his head hung low and he’s back to fiddling with his fingers.
Jungkook repositions himself quickly so he’s mirroring Jimin on the couch and grabs his hyungs’ knees with both hands « What is it? »
Jimin looks up at him then quickly back down « Nothing, just. That kind of was one of the reasons too, you know? ».
« Huh ? » Jungkook’s dumb look makes a reappearance on his face.
Jimin’s poking his own ankle and pinching the fabric of his socks repeatedly « I sort of… I constantly orbited around you at the time for some reason, and I guess you started latching on to me too even though you were less, hum, publicly overt about it. It made me want to give you all my attention, all the time» He shrugs in a semblance of nonchalance but it’s clear as day that talking about this is making him nervous.
Jungkook doesn’t really know how to answer that but he knows he has to because Jimin is getting more and more nervous. « Well, I was always thankful, hyung»
It doesn’t seem to help.
Jimin starts shaking his head « No, that’s not— No, I’m trying to tell you that it kinda, it kinda fucked with my head, Jungkook» He’s chancing a few rapid looks at Jungkook’s face as he says it but the younger is frowning in confusion. Jimin scratches his head frustratingly. «I tried but I couldn’t help it …»
Understanding seems to down on Jungkook slowly and Jimin feels him slowly retrieve his hands from where they were previously clenching around his knees. He misses their warmth a little already but he’s not going to panic.
Jungkook seems to think for a moment then starts getting up and Jimin panics a little bit after all.
« I shouldn’t have said anything, it was years ago, Jungkook, I don’t feel that way anymore, I really don’t ! » Jimin’s awkwardly walking after him. And at least Jungkook’s not running, so there is that.
Jungkook stops and looks around but his eyes are completely unfocused, « No— I, I just… » he squeezes Jimin’s arms awkwardly and turns back to walk out of the living room « I just, I need to think for a minute ».
« Please, don’t shut me out » comes Jimin’s miserable voice.
Jungkook turns back to him again and Jimin looks so small right now, shoulders hunched, feet stuck together. Ah shit, he’s doing it again. Hurting Jimin.
Get your shit together Jeon Jungkook !
« I’m not shutting you out, I promise you. I’m freaking out and I need to go to my room and think for an undetermined period of time and then everything’s gonna be alright, ok? I’m not mad or disgusted or whatever I know you’re coming up with in that crazy little head of yours. I’m just shocked. That’s all. Ok ? » Jimin stares at him with wide eyes and he doesn’t seem to be breathing. « Jiminie ? Ok? »
Then he nods vigorously « Ok, Jungkookie ».
Jungkook holds his stare for a few seconds then nods once and turns back.
Jimin watches him disappear though the corridor and hears the sound of a door opining and closing. He goes to sit back on the couch and wonders why the fuck he just did what he did.