Chapter Text
It is long moments later that Wangji remembers what had led them to this point to begin with.
He stiffens in Wei Ying's hold, and cannot help the way he shuts his eyes in soft grief, the way he rests his palm over Wei Ying's stomach, three fingers' width below his navel.
His lower dantian.
Wei Ying stiffens beside him, and Wangji can only offer him a long look. Words do not come, but somehow Wangji knows that Wei Ying understands what he means.
Wei Ying laughs, and this time it is sad, self-deprecating, and Wangji has to push aside the regret that surfaces at spoiling the moment.
Seeing Wei Ying sad is something that he never wants.
But then Wei Ying shakes his head, and presses his face to Wangji's shoulder.
He is trembling.
Wangji falters. "Wei Ying, you… you do not have to tell me, if you do not want to."
"I-" Wei Ying starts, and his words are stilted. "You know, if you'd asked me this just a few hours ago… I would have told you it was Wen Zhuliu. It's a reasonable explanation, after all. Anyone would accept it."
There is a but that remains unspoken, and Wangji remains silent, letting Wei Ying gather his thoughts.
"No more secrets, huh, Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying continues, and when he pulls away to meet Wangji's eyes, his own are red-rimmed. "No more lies, not between us. Okay?"
"Mn." It is something that Wangji does not even have to consider before agreeing to.
Wei Ying laughs then, small, soft, nothing like his usual laugh. "Okay. Okay then, Lan er-gege. I-"
Wei Ying's hand comes down to rest over Wangji's own, over his lower dantian, and Wangji does not miss the flicker of sorrow that lights across his features.
"I- it's with Jiang Cheng. I gave it to Jiang Cheng."
If it were anyone else but Wei Ying, Wangji would not have believed them.
But Wei Ying has always embodied YunmengJiang’s motto, and no matter that transferring a golden core was impossible -if Wei Ying wanted it, he would attempt it, and he would accomplish it.
So Wei Ying’s golden core resided within Jiang Wanyin now. Wangji had thought it strange, how the man had come back from the burning of Lotus Pier even stronger than he’d been before, when he’d been on the run for ages and by all rights should not have had the time to train.
But now he knows why.
And Wei Ying was always so selfless, so blindly heroic, and no one ever saw it.
“You- Lan Zhan, you can’t tell Jiang Cheng, okay?”
Wangji wonders if it would solve the rift that had grown between the pair of them if he did, but there is panic in Wei Ying’s eyes, and he is still shaking in his arms, so Wangji just nods, and leans in to press more kisses to Wei Ying’s cheeks.
“You understand why I can’t give up demonic cultivation now, don’t you, Lan Zhan?”
Wangji leans his head against Wei Ying’s shoulder and nods silently.
“Then you won’t ask me to stop using it, will you?”
Wangji pauses. Demonic cultivation would still- it would still harm Wei Ying, especially at the rate that he was using it now. It was already harming Wei Ying, as evident in the bags under his eyes and the fat that was leeched from his bones.
But without it- without it Wei Ying would be defenseless, and Wangji could never ask that of him. Wangji would never want that for him. And… And Wei Ying would never forgive him, if Wangji asked him to give up the one thing that allowed him to make a difference, to protect the people he loved.
Slowly, Wangji shakes his head. “Will not. But- if Wei Ying could- not rely on it that often… Slow down use of it- it is harmful to your body and heart, I would not… I would not like to see you wither away, Wei Ying.”
In his arms, Wei Ying stills, and Wangji fears for a long moment that the words will once again drive Wei Ying away.
But then Wei Ying is nodding, hesitant, but willing. “Okay. Okay, Lan Zhan. For you. For Zhenli. But- but you must protect us, okay?”
Wangji blinks. It is not a request he had expected Wei Ying to make, but- “Of course. Forever, Wei Ying. Always. I would protect you both with my life.”
Against the fabric of his robes, Wei Ying muffles a squeak. “Lan Zhan- you can’t- can’t just- say that-”
“But it is the truth.”
“Lan Zhan!”
Wangji nuzzles closer to Wei Ying’s scent glands, and mouths softly over them. “Mn. Am here, Wei Ying.”
“That’s not what I meant!” Wei Ying protests, but he tilts his head to the side, exposing his throat to Wangji’s kisses.
“Mn,” he hums in agreement. Wei Ying is making the most adorable spluttering noises above him, occasionally cut off by a contented purr as Wangji mouths over the skin of his neck. “Love Wei Ying.”
Wei Ying splutters again, but then there is a soft, almost defeated sigh, and Wangji smiles as Wei Ying’s arms tighten around him and he leans his head against Wangji’s own.
“Okay,” Wei Ying murmurs. “Okay, Lan er-gege. I love you too.”