Chapter Text
He was lounging at the beach. The sand seemed like it was shining, its bright gold color shimmered by the ocean blue. The water was so calm, the warm sun making his muscles relax. He watched Veronica getting out of the water, a pink bikini barely covering anything as she made her way toward him. He smiled as he asked her “Good swim?” She jumped on top of him mumbling “the best,” before she kissed him.
Logan’s eyes shot open. He realised he had just woken up. It was a dream.
They’re constantly there. They won’t go away. Logan got out of bed in the middle of the night. Again. He grabbed his glass of water from the nightstand and gulped it down. His throat felt too dry, it felt like he couldn’t hydrate enough. Like his thirst for her that wouldn’t—couldn’t be satisfied. He went to his bathroom and splashed some water on his face. Abandoning all hope of going back to sleep he started gathering his surfing gear and went to his car.
The drive to the beach felt too long. His mind kept coming back to his dream. Ever since that night at Madison’s party he couldn’t get Veronica out of his head. He couldn’t understand where all these new feelings were coming from. Were they always there? Had he been suppressing them but now that he knew they were there he couldn’t deny them? He tried to avoid her, but it was like she was everywhere all of a sudden, sitting next to him in second period; standing next to his locker talking to somebody; and worst of all, attached to his best friend’s hip— making googly eyes and feeding each other fries at lunchtime. Watching them had Logan on the verge of getting sick.
It didn’t help that Lilly was flaunting boy after boy at him. He felt like he was suffocating all the time, trapped in a series of heartaches. Home was never a safe place, and now school was pure torture. It was obvious that Lilly never loved him. This wasn’t love. Was he worthy of being loved really? Most of the time he felt like he was cursed—to always give love but never receives it in return.
As he parked, he checked the time on the dashboard. 5:24
Good. Way too early to bump into anyone.
Logan lay down on the sand until the sun rose; he focused on the bright blue of the sky; it soothed him, but just a little. He got up and started walking towards the water, wishing he could ditch the body suit to really feel it, but the new red and angry scars made it impossible.
The moment his feet touched the sea he felt like he always did here; Free, alive and full of hope. This was his element. The waves were great. He rode one for so long it made his head dizzy. Best drug ever. Screw alcohol.
Once he got out he finally felt hydrated, refreshed; shaking his hair all the way to the spot he left his towel. He placed his board on the sand and quickly dried off. Suddenly he heard the distinctive sound of a dog running. He turned the moment a familiar ball landed in front of his feet. Backup, of course it would be him. Please let it be Mr. Mars that brought him here.
Naturally it wasn’t. Veronica’s petite form approached him, her smile—almost as bright as the sun—caused him to shade his eyes.
“Hey there, good morning!” her voice so clear. Like the sea.
“Morning, Ronnie.” He rubbed Backup’s head to distract himself.
“The waves look great. Did you get any good ones?” She tried to make eye contact but he just stared at the sea.
“Um, yeah, a couple.” He didn’t trust himself to interact with her. He felt so transparent looking at her. Her brows furrowed in concern.
Great, you’ve made her think you’re avoiding her, asshole.
He added, “It was kind of awesome,” and smiled at her; she seemed relieved.
“Good. That’s good. Hey, how about a movie tonight?” She shoulder-bumped him playfully making his skin all tingly.
“Sure, what did you and Duncan have in mind?” He said as he took two steps back and grabbed his board, using it as a shield between them.
She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, nudging the sand beneath her shoe. A puff of air expelled from her mouth and caused her bangs to flutter. “I was thinking just the two of us?”
His breath caught in his throat. Did she and Duncan have a fight? He was ashamed of how much he wished that was true.
“Oh. Why—Duncan busy tonight?” He asked, deciding to play it safe.
“No, it’s just— it’s been too long since just the two of us hung out — you know, without any Kanes. You know I’m the only one who appreciates your movie picks anyway. They always choose the blockbusters.” Her nervous laugh gave away her insecurity.
“Um, sure I guess.” He couldn’t deny her.
“Great,” she finally sounded more confident, giving him a toothy grin, “I was worried for a minute there that you might have been avoiding me?” Her voice rose just a little. Like she was asking a question. He chose to ignore it. He didn’t trust himself.
“See you tonight then? My place or yours?”
“Yours! Duh! You’re the one with the sweet movie theater setup.” She tried once again to catch his gaze but he pretended to be occupied with his zipper.
He grabbed the rest of his stuff and mumbled a quick “See you” as he power walked to his car without looking back.