Chapter Text
The next day, Ellie entered Ollivander’s shop just before closing. She’d almost hoped that the alarms would start blaring so she’d have a decent excuse to back out of the plan, but the room remained deathly still. No sneakoscopes spun, no dark detectors dinged. Just the little bell on the door ringing to announce her arrival. She thought that her guilty conscience ought to be setting off one of them at least, but maybe when she’d been removed from the blacklist, she was put on the whitelist. And now nothing she did could alert Ollivander to what was to happen next.
The old wandmaker scurried to the front of the shop at the sound of the bell, and seeing Ellie, turned the open sign to closed.
“Come on back,” Said Ollivander. “I was just making tea.”
Ellie followed him into the back workroom and sat down at a little table. He fetched an extra cup and poured them both some tea.
Ollivander was being especially nice, and it made what she had to do next even harder.
“Hey Ollivander, I wanted to show you something.”
“Hmm?” He said, sitting down and stirring some sugar into his tea.
“It’s this thing my wand does,” Said Ellie, “look here.”
Ellie pulled out her wand and held it between them, pointed at the ceiling. Then, before she could second guess herself, she pronounced, “ Restinctio Lux .”
Ollivander was hit by the full force of the spell. A wave of peaceful contentment washed over him, and he was nearly paralyzed by it. Ellie has long since learned how to counteract the effects of her own invented spell, and had cast the counter curse on herself before walking in. Ollivander, however, was not prepared at all, and was helpless in the face of such pure unfiltered peace.
Knowing he could see and hear just fine, although he was too contented to react to anything, Ellie took one of his hands in her own and said, “I’m sorry. I know you’ll never forgive me, but I am so so sorry. I wish there was another way.”
Ellie gripped his hand tightly, focused, and twisted in her seat.
She apparated to the front of the Malfoy Manor, dragging Ollivander along with her. Finding himself suddenly without the chair he had been sitting on, he fell gracelessly to the ground, and seemed content to stay there.
As promised, Snape was right there waiting for her. “I’ll take it from here,” he said, gently but firmly.
Ellie nodded weakly, stomach still turning with guilt, but before she could apparate away again, a hooded figure came out of the manor house and called for her to wait. The deep voice sounded vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place it without a face. Was this someone she'd met working at Malcolm's? A father of a classmate? Whoever it was, he was inviting Ellie to come inside with Snape and Ollivander.
"It would seem," said Snape quietly, "that you are about to have the great honor of meeting the Dark Lord."
Ellie nodded and obeyed the beckoning figure, but her mouth was too dry to say anything. She had to master her emotions, get her fear under control, before she entered the building, or all her occlumency training was for nothing. She took a deep breath. Then she took another. Still shaking, but with a calmer heartbeat, she crossed the threshold into the Dark Lord's realm.
Snape walked before her, half-carrying Ollivander's yielding frame, still too dazed by her spell to walk on his own. Ellie lurked behind, wishing to disappear into the impressive shadow cast by Snape's billowing cloak.
She followed him into a grand room, decorated with lush furniture and gold details that sparkled and danced menacingly in the firelight. Around the walls, more masked Death Eaters stood at attention. She felt surrounded, trapped. She tried to remind herself that she was entering the room triumphantly, having just rendered a great service to the Dark Lord that none before her could accomplish.
Then, peeking cautiously around Snape's shoulder, she caught her first sight of the Dark Lord with her own eyes.
She had seen him once before in Snape's memory, but it did not compare to the impressive figure before her now. Seated upon a chair like a throne, flanked by his anonymous supporters, with a snake draped around his shoulders, staring out at the world he owned through two red eyes in a pale, inhuman face. Ellie shivered.
Then, she saw who stood beside him, unmasked, and froze.
Fenrir Greyback.
What had Greyback told his master, she wondered. And did it negate the service she had just rendered the Dark Lord? Pushing down the panic that threatened to overwhelm her, she focused only on her breathing, as Lord Voldemort began to speak.
"Ah, Severus," he began, "you have brought me my gift. And so quickly! Bring him here, Severus, bring him here…"
Snape pushed the wandmaker forward, keeping a tight grip on his arm. Ellie did not dare to approach the seat of power uninvited, so she remained rooted to the spot. Stripped of her shield, she stood alone by the entrance, feeling as vulnerable as she ever had. Her hand itched for her wand, but that would do no good here. Her only defence against the Dark Lord was her mind.
"I have waited a long time for this," said the Dark Lord to Ollivander. "We will have such interesting conversations, you and I. But you do not look afraid…"
"It's the effects of the spell," said Snape, "it will wear off soon."
"Curious. I always imagined that when you came before me, it would be on your knees. But instead you walk in, not even disarmed," said Voldemort. He reached into Ollivander's pocket and removed the wand. Ollivander did not resist. "No matter, no matter. You are here now. Put him downstairs. We will talk again when he has regained his wits."
One of the Death Eaters by the wall came forward to relieve Snape of his prisoner. Bowing slightly, Snape took a few steps out of the way, leaving Ellie in the Dark Lord's direct line of sight. She tried not to look at him or Greyback, who was still standing silently beside the Dark Lord's throne.
"Come forward, child," Voldemort called to her, "let me look at you."
Ellie walked forward, fearing that her legs would fail her at each step, then dropped to one knee when she drew level with Snape. "My Lord," she said respectfully. To her surprise, her voice didn't even tremble.
"Stand, Ellie. Look at me."
Hearing her name in Voldemort's mouth made her skin crawl, but she obeyed. She raised herself to her feet, and met the Dark Lord's eyes.
Immediately, Ellie understood what Snape had meant when he said that the Dark Lord's prowess as a Legilimens far exceeded his own capabilities. There was no denying that creeping presence. His mind was so foreign and cold, that she wanted to retreat behind steel walls as she had when she first learned the skill. But she resisted the impulse, and left her mind half open, as Snape had taught her. She allowed him to feel how frightened she was. She should be frightened, he expected it. Right now, he was just testing the air, as it were, and he was expending no great effort to unlock her mind. So she let him taste what he expected, in the hopes he would not delve deeper. Even this brief brush with her mind, this cursory attempt to discern any lies, was enough to convince her that she was nowhere near ready to keep him out of her thoughts, should he make any real effort.
"You've done well, Ellie," Voldemort continued. "It seems that Severus did not misplace his faith in you."
"Thank you, my Lord."
"And yet, it has come to my attention that not all have found you so trustworthy…"
Ellie glanced at Greyback, who was grinning evilly. Ellie resisted the urge to pull out her wand and hex him right then.
"That was a nasty trick you pulled with that wolfsbane recipe," said Greyback.
"I told you that you would be a fool to drink any potion I gave you," Ellie replied coolly.
"Clearly, I listened, or I wouldn't be here, would I? But some of my boys thought it was worth the risk. After the first transformation went so well, more wanted to try it. That was one very slow working poison you devised."
Ellie felt more than a little pride in that accomplishment. She didn't have much time to change the recipe, rushed as she was to save her friends in Tin Man, but there was no way she was going to just give them the key to unlocking their werewolf state. Wolfsbane was always one mistake away from becoming a deadly poison, which is why so few potioneers were able to brew it. But to make a change that didn't cause instant death? That was a real challenge.
"You shouldn't have threatened me if you weren't up for the fight," Ellie said.
Greyback snarled in response, but the Dark Lord smiled in amusement and said, "Peace, Greyback. A few dead dogs is no great loss. You'll have new recruits before long, better ones. I have no place in my army for the weak and stupid."
Greyback stopped baring his teeth like a wild thing, but didn't look any less angry. "I want the real potion. The one you gave Vilks."
"There is no real potion," said Ellie mockingly, "it's just a little doggy fantasy. What I gave Vilks would have killed him too, if he'd used it two months in a row. The poison builds up, and it doesn't go away. He just didn't notice because the moonsickness always makes him feel terrible."
Greyback looked both shocked and horrified, which is exactly how Ellie would have felt if the tables were turned. It was all lies, of course. But who else had the potions knowledge to contradict her? Dumbledore? Malcolm? Snape? Whoever had taught potions before Snape? Not many. And none who wanted to help Fenrir Greyback.
"Enough," said the Dark Lord, tiring of this bickering. "You both serve me now, and you will put this childish fight behind you."
Ellie didn't think it was a childish fight, but nonetheless, she bowed her head and said, "yes, my Lord," just as Greyback did.
Snape was not permitted to leave until well after Ellie was dismissed, so their debriefing was long delayed.
It was into the early hours of the next morning when Snape finally called on Ellie, but she was still awake.
“What happened after I left?” She asked. “Did Greyback say anything else?”
“No, he left shortly after you did. We had other matters to discuss…”
“Like what?”
Snape sighed heavily. He was exhausted and didn’t want to give her a run down of every single thing the Dark lord had said.
“You can’t do that anymore,” Said Ellie, “You can’t dismiss my questions. I’m already in too deep. You have to tell me everything.”
“There are things that must be kept between Dumbledore and myself,” Said Snape, “but apart from those… you are right. You need to know. I will tell you everything - nearly everything. But first, we need to discuss what happened before you left.”
“Oh… that. I did well, didn’t I? He couldn’t tell that I was lying?”
“Yes, you did very well in the Dark Lord’s presence. Too well, perhaps. He was quite impressed with you.”
“What - what exactly impressed him?”
“Your decorum, your creative charm use,” Snape listed, “your ruthlessness.”
Ellie looked confused by this, which was baffling to him after the show she’d just put on.
“Ellie, what exactly did you do to Greyback’s pack?”
“I couldn’t give them the real potion,” Said Ellie. “You know what they would have done with that.”
“But what you did… do you really not understand what you did?”
“I took care of the problem.”
“Ellie, three men died.” When this didn’t make an impression, he added, “You killed them.”
“I told them not to use the potion,” Said Ellie defensively. “And besides, they deserved it.”
“It is not for you to decide who lives and dies.”
“It’s not for them to decide either! These wolves weren’t innocent. This was no ordinary wolfsbane they were seeking to ease their pain. They wanted my potion so they could be self aware during their wolf state so they could attack the right targets more efficiently! They were planning to kill, or at least infect, people. My “nasty trick” as Greyback put it, saved countless lives.”
“At what cost, Ellie?”
“This is war,” Said Ellie quietly, “people are going to die before this is over. And the other side should have casualties too.”
“Don’t say that,” Said Snape dangerously. “Don’t you ever say that.”
“What are you planning to do to the Dark Lord, then? Ask him nicely to stop? No, if you get the chance, you’d kill him. And can you honestly say Greyback doesn’t deserve the same?”
“It doesn’t matter what I think.”
“Whose choice is it then? Some ministry judge? Yeah, they’ll find him guilty, and they’ll put him in Azkaban - oh wait! We don’t have a functional jail anymore, because the Dementors have deserted.”
What a strange morality Ellie had. She managed to torture herself for years over the accidental deaths of her young peers that she had caused. And yet, these intentional, for want of better word, murders, did not affect her at all, because she had already judged them guilty.
He didn’t want to disagree with Ellie. In truth, they were all better off with Greyback losing a few members of his pack. Not to mention the fact that Ellie’s embarrassing Greyback lowered his standing in Voldemort’s eyes.
But when the Dark Lord had complimented Snape on recruiting such a ruthless student, one who understood the place of half humans in the world, he was sick to his stomach.
It wasn’t fair, he knew. He’d done plenty to earn the Dark Lord’s praise. But he didn’t want Voldemort to think highly of Ellie. That was no compliment.
“I don’t regret it,” Said Ellie, “I only regret not doing it sooner.”
“It’s a dark path you’re walking, Ellie.”
“I’ve been avoiding this path all my life, for all the good it did me. I did everything you asked, and this world still came for me. Maybe it was inevitable. But I’m ready to take control of it now. I won’t be dragged down this dark path kicking and screaming. I’m going to march down it proudly. And maybe along the way, I’ll shed some light on it so that those of us who walk here can better see the way. Maybe I did kill those fools. Maybe I’ll do it again. Maybe that’s the role I have to play in this war. Dumbledore is the Leader. Harry is the Hero. You are the Spy. And I am the Assasin.”
“You don’t have to take that role upon yourself,” Said Snape. “You don’t have to dirty your hands just to feel that you have done something useful.”
“Why not? You do.”
“That’s different. It’s a part I play. It’s not who I am.”
“I don’t know who I am anymore,” Said Ellie with a crack in her voice. “Am I a wandmaker who betrayed her master? Am I a failed researcher? Am I a Dark Wizard now, as Professor Kamat was so convinced I would be? Because if you look at my life objectively for a moment, that’s sure how it seems.”
“If by objectively you mean without any context, then yes that is how it would appear. The same could be said of me. In fact, it frequently is. But I’m not. I’m not, and neither are you.”
“You were when you were my age.”
“You aren’t half the fool I was at your age. You are better than I was. You already know what it took me years to learn. You know that The Dark Lord needs to be stopped, and despite everything I’ve tried to tell you, you know that you can’t stand idly by and wait for someone else to do it for you.”
“But I don’t know what to do now.”
“I know it doesn’t feel like it after today, but you are already doing it. Laying groundwork for future heroics.”
Ellie wrinkled her nose and said, “I’ll never be a hero. Not like Dumbledore, not like Harry.”
“You get that from my side of the family, I suppose.”
“Was Lily a hero?”
“Yes,” said Snape sadly, “she was. She died to save Harry.”
“If she’d killed to save Harry, we wouldn’t be in this mess right now,” Ellie replied bitterly.
Ellie was always torn between admiration for the young hero she’d never known and resentment for the mother who’d abandoned her.
“We’ll never have statues in our hometown dedicated to our achievements,” said Snape gently, “it’s possible that even after our deaths, we will be remembered as nothing more than Death Eaters. I certainly expect no recognition in my lifetime. But that won’t stop us from doing the work that needs doing.”
“But I haven’t done anything good or helpful ever, except out of my own self interest.”
“You will,” said Snape, “I meant it when I said you could join the Order. Dumbledore already approved. I’ll be taking you with me to the next meeting.”
“Oh wow,” said Ellie in disbelief. “So it’s really come to that.”
“It may be that your position here in Knockturn alley will be an advantage to us. Or you may yet be able to exploit your favored position with Umbridge. There is much you could do, and most of it is not the work of an assassin, I assure you. Though your ability to resist the lures of the Dark Arts will still be tested.”
“So this is it then,” Ellie said with a determined grimace, “no more running around with my friends and getting into teen drama. No more silly little experiments that entirely miss the big picture. Just danger and darkness from here on out.”
“I think you’ll find that your life still has room for friends, drama, and little experiments, even with all the danger and darkness.”
“I’m just glad that my life has room for you. Being a member of the Order of the Phoenix, and occasional tool of the Dark Lord, I’m bound to see you all the time!”
“Life must have it’s little perks,” said Snape with tiniest twitch of a smirk. “Now I think it’s high time you got some rest. Tomorrow, a whole new world opens for you.”
“A whole new world…” echoed Ellie thoughtfully. “And we’re going to save it.”