Chapter Text
Snape opened the window reluctantly. It was a hot night and he didn't want to let the cool air escape, but there was an owl tapping at the library window and he couldn't ignore it. He wasn't expecting a letter from anyone, and in any case he was accustomed to getting his mail in the morning, so he was already irritated that someone would be sending an owl so late at night.
When he went to grab the letter, the bird viciously pecked at his hand and ruffled its feathers. The Potions master scowled and tried to take it more gently this time, but he received the same treatment.
"Give me the letter or go away, " he said, "I'm not paying you."
The owl hooted indignantly and tried to peck him again. Snape drew his hand back quickly this time and cursed quietly. Cautiously, he looked at the plain envelope for some clue to the owl's unprofessional behaviour and realized with surprise that it was not his name on the envelope.
"Who would be writing to Ellie?" he asked vaguely. The owl just ruffled its feathers again and clicked its beak impatiently. "Am I allowed to take it for her or do I need to wake her up for this?" As an afterthought he added, "I'm her guardian."
The owl lifted its leg and slowly held the letter out for Snape to take. The professor held the bird's eyes mistrustfully and reached out to take the proffered letter even more slowly. When the transaction was complete, Snape quickly shut the window, and the owl made a big show of taking off again in the most dignified way it could, given that it was perched on a small sill and had just had a window rudely slammed in its face.
Ellie was as surprised as Snape had been when she got the letter in the morning. "But who would be writing to me?"
"I thought it might be the ministry calling you in to finalize the registration of Restinctio Lux, but those forms normally take weeks or months to process, so it seems unlikely."
Ellie was nervous. The only owl mail she'd gotten since Snape took her in was one letter from Ollivander. Maybe he had changed his mind and wanted to retroactively charge her for the wand after all. She opened the envelope and immediately jumped to the signature at the bottom of the short letter. Her stomach flipped guiltily when she saw the name.
Ellie said, "It's from a school friend." She folded it quickly and brought it up to her room to read in private.
Ellie,
I know that you just went through a traumatic event or whatever but you really need to talk to Phineas. He was really hurt that you wouldn’t tell him what happened. You could at least tell him why you won’t tell him anything instead of ignoring him.
He was going through a tough time at the end of the year too, not that you bothered to ask. And you owe Yuki an apology too, although I don’t recommend sending Nomad to her until she gets back from Japan.
They’re your friends. Start acting like it.
Tiberius Flint
The guilt just kept piling up. She'd been so wrapped up in her own problems that she had all but forgotten about her friends. She had no idea what issues Phineas was having and she hadn’t even realized that Yuki had gone back to Japan. But how could she possibly explain what she was going through? She tried composing a letter in her head.
Dear Phineas,
I'm sorry for avoiding you recently. You see, Kamat was right about the Dark Arts all along! I murdered two orphan girls a few years ago and nearly killed three more people in a duel last month. Kamat just took it upon herself to rid the world of the next Dark Lord. Sadly, she didn’t succeed.
Anyway I’m trying really hard to avoid the lure of Dark Magic right now but there’s no guarantee I won’t accidentally kill you the next time you piss me off. I hope that doesn’t put a damper on our friendship!
Love,
Ellie Nihil
That was the honest thing to write, but she couldn’t actually send that, for many reasons. First of all, there was no way she was telling anyone about her first major act of magic. No one could understand how she felt about it, except maybe Snape, and she didn't want to scare her friends.
She also didn’t want Phineas to know that she had used Dark Magic against students who hadn’t actually been able to hurt her at all. For all she knew, they had missed her on purpose and just wanted to scare her.
It had been one thing to hear the Weasley twins call her feat “brilliant” without knowing the details, but she couldn’t stand the thought of Phineas saying it. Ellie knew that he would express approval and maybe even admiration for what she had done to defend herself. And before it had happened she would have agreed with him.
She could still clearly hear the helpless crunch of a skull cracking as the unconscious bodies hit the floor. Without magic, that boy would have died from blood loss alone.
She didn’t want to hear Yuki’s calm justification either. She'd probably say something about needing to protect herself and blaming Kamat for not teaching them enough purely defensive magic, which might be true but still missed the point.
The only thing that Ellie wanted to hear was that Kamat had been right. Ellie had a darkness in her, and it had always been there. Her essays about the nuance of dark magic were warning signs, and everyone else was too hung up on her young age to notice. And at the first opportunity, she used a dark charm that she had learned against the school's wishes to cause harm. Kamat was right. But Ellie would be doing as much as she could from now on to prove her wrong.
There was nothing she could do about her past, and she didn’t want to talk about it, especially not with her friends. She just wanted to move on and do better, like Snape did. She tried writing the letter again.
Dear Phineas,
I’m sorry that I wasn’t around for you at the end of the year. I just didn’t want to talk about what happened, and I still don’t. If you can forgive me, and if you have time, maybe we could hang out before classes start again. Otherwise I'll see you in September. I miss you.
Ellie Nihil
It was a little short, but it was all she could think to say. He might still be angry and she didn't want to make it worse. His response came just a few days later.
Dear Ellie,
You don't need to apologize. And you don't need to talk about anything if you don't want to. Tiberius was just being over dramatic when he sent that letter. Honestly, he's been having a harder time than me. His mum, my aunt, got sick back in March and hasn't been getting better. You know that I spent more time with her than with my own parents growing up, so I was pretty upset that I found out so late.
I've been with Tiberius at St. Mungo's most days, but his mum will be going home soon (we hope) and it would be nice to hang out somewhere other than my aunt's sick room. I could meet you next weekend in Diagon Alley, if you're allowed.
Let me know.
Phineas
Ellie felt bad that she hadn't known about Phineas's aunt. That's the sort of thing she should have known, as a friend. Yuki probably did. He didn't seem to be holding a grudge though, which was good. Ellie wanted to do normal kid things for a change, and meeting her friend to go shopping or eat ice cream or whatever would be a novel experience.
She'd been reading more magical theory books, and they'd become increasingly difficult to understand. After struggling through 43 pages of one of Adalbert Waffling's least-read essays, "The Sound of Magic," she wanted to do little more than sleep. It was all very interesting to read, but the theory was nonetheless overwhelming.
She was also frustrated by how few witches and wizards had written on the topics she found most interesting. Waffling was considered the father of magical theory, and he'd died less than 10 years ago. She tried wading through older texts, by Merlin or Artemisia Lufkin, but they were full of speculation and superstition, and were hindered by their egotistical assumption that they were the source of their own power.
So she read everything that Waffling ever wrote. His writing was a little dry and he had a habit of warning the reader not to try this at home, but at least he understood the scientific method. She'd just about reached the end of his official publications when she found a thin volume of unedited notes and letters that had been released posthumously.
One day she asked Snape, "Did you know that Professor Dumbledore knew Waffling personally? This book has letters they wrote to each other, and the forward says that Dumbledore was the one that compiled the notes."
"I had forgotten. Dumbledore knows just about everyone, I should think. But he never wrote any books on magical theory, if that’s what you’re wondering. I do have some old copies of Transfiguration Today that he was published in, if you’re interested.”
Ellie wrinkled her nose. “I hate transfiguration. It’s just turning things into other things. Who else does he know?”
Snape narrowed his eyes disapprovingly but let the jab at her worst subject slide. “If they did something important in the last century, Dumbledore probably knows them. Nicholas Flamel. Bathilda Bagshot. Lucius Malfoy. Gwenog Jones. Everyone passes through Hogwarts on the way to greatness.”
“What about wizards from other countries?”
“As I’m sure you are aware, he is equally well connected in the international wizarding community.”
“Are there any theoreticians like Waffling from other countries? I haven’t found any but maybe their books just haven’t been translated…”
Snape sighed, “I’m really not the right person to ask. One Waffling book was enough for me. Most careers require little knowledge of such subjects.”
Changing tack, Ellie asked, “have you ever taught someone who became famous?”
“Of course. I’ve been teaching at Hogwarts for nine years. The N.E.W.T. students I taught in my first year are now in their late 20’s, well into their careers. We don’t exactly keep in touch, though.” He grimaced slightly and explained, “We knew each other as students. I was never quite able to earn their respect as a teacher. It was easier with students who only ever knew me as Professor Snape.”
“Wait,” said Ellie, doing some quick math. “How long after graduating did you start teaching?”
“Three years.”
“Three years. Plus the nine years you’ve been teaching… but that would only make you like 30 years old!”
Slightly amused, he replied “Yes, I’m only 30. How old did you think I was?”
“I don’t know, like 40? I’m only 11. All adults look the same to me.”
“I won’t be too insulted then. I’ll be 31 in January.”
“You’re way too young to be my dad.”
Snape flinched. “Miss Trumble made a similar comment. Fortunately, I look old enough.”
"Hey, speaking of things we're old enough for… Can I go to Diagon Alley on my own to meet up with Phineas?
Snape hesitated. "I suppose… But the book list hasn't even been released yet. What are you going to do there?"
Ellie shrugged. "Just hang out, I think. Walk around. Talk. Window shop."
"Alright. I'll give you a little money for food and such, but don't go overboard. And be sure to stay on Diagon Alley itself. Don't go wandering off down any side streets."
"Thanks! I won't." Ellie jumped up and went to send her letter to Phineas right away.
The Leaky Cauldron was busy when she arrived, and most people didn't even look up when she popped into the fireplace. She scanned the room and found Phineas already sitting at a table, with two other people. He waved Ellie over and she took a seat next to him.
Phineas said, "I hope you don't mind that I invited Tiberius and Marcus too."
"No, it's fine." she said. Tiberius looked like he needed a day out as much as Ellie did. His usual buoyancy was gone, and the bags under his eyes revealed how little rest he was getting. Phineas also showed signs of prolonged worrying, but he was putting on a brave face for his cousins. Ellie had never met Marcus before, since he was three years older, so she didn't have a good point of comparison, but he also seemed pretty down. He didn't introduce himself to Ellie, but she couldn't be sure if that was unfriendliness or just depression.
In an awkwardly cheery voice, Phineas said, "So, er, where to? Gambol and Japes? Magical Menagerie?"
Tiberius shrugged noncommittally and Marcus continued to just stare into space so Ellie said, "Let's just walk around and see what catches our eye. Come on."
She and Phineas led the way with his cousins trailing a step or two behind. Phineas looked at her sort of apologetically, but didn't say anything. They peered into shop windows for a while and tried to get Tiberius involved in the conversation, but he seemed completely uninterested in the fascinating wares. Eventually they came to a used bookshop and Ellie suggested that they go in.
Tiberius and his brother lingered at the entrance, flipping through the featured books on display without seeming to take any of it in, while Ellie and Phineas moved further back into the dense stacks.
Phineas whispered, "I'm sorry about all that. I just wanted them to get out of the house, you know?"
"I know. It's nice that you're trying. It might just be better to let them go back, though… Is your Aunt out of the hospital yet?"
"Yeah. Got back two days ago. She pretty much brought the hospital back with her though. She has a healer's assistant there and everything. But I think it's helping her to be at home, you know. She's got a nicer view, anyway."
A friendly-looking middle-aged witch popped her head into their aisle and asked, "Can I help you find anything, dears? Organization is a bit of a mess but I'll point you in the right direction."
Ellie replied, "Oh, um, yeah. Do you have any magical theory books?"
"Right this way." The witch led Ellie to a small section in the back, which looked very similar to Snape's own collection. She said, "I recommend Waffling, if you're just getting started."
"Thanks," said Ellie, "But I think I've read all of his…"
Phineas asked, "What, all of them? Even The Sound of Magic ? And The Smell of Magic ?" Scanning the titles in front of them, he pulled out a thin volume titled, 101 Electrical Experiments and asked, "Even this one?"
Ellie nodded, "The first 100 were total failures. The last one worked though. He turned a lightbulb on using magic, with no battery. He thought he'd found the key to using magic as an energy source, but he got arrested for misusing muggle artifacts so he moved on to other things."
The shopkeeper seemed impressed. "Well we've got some other magical theory books here. Let's see.. Whitiker's Origin of Magic ?"
Ellie shook her head. "Read it. Besides, his theory was disproved by Waffling in 1965."
"Goodness you do know your theory, don't you. You may be better off at Flourish and Blotts. They'll have all the latest publications. My selection is a little out of date…"
Ellie shook her head. She couldn't afford any new books. "Do you have anything by any foreign theoreticians?"
"Let's see… yes we have some Fuchs, but it's entirely in german I'm afraid. Are you interested in any related subjects? Alchemy? Wandlore?"
Phineas said, "Ooh yeah definitely wandlore. Reckon you have anything that's not in the Hogwarts library?"
She smiled and clapped her hands. "Oh, yes! Some writings by Gregorovitch, never published in Britain. Ollivander would be terribly insulted if he knew I had it. They never could see eye to eye regarding wand cores…"
The shopkeeper handed the book to Ellie and watched eagerly as she flipped through it. The cover was worn and many of the pages were dog-eared or heavily underlined. Clearly the previous owner had read through it very thoroughly, probably more than once. It was more of the same about the personalities of different woods, but it also contained some wand core descriptions that were new to her and a brief description of how wands are actually made, so she decided to buy it.
Tiberius was alone when they came back to the front. "Where's Marcus?" asked Phineas.
"He said he was going to go look at brooms, but I think he may have just gone home."
Phineas seemed disappointed. "Do you want to go home?"
Tiberius sagged with relief and nodded. "Thanks for trying, Phin. But I'm just not in the mood. I'll see you around, Ellie."
Phineas and Ellie watched as he walked slowly but purposefully through the crowd of adult witches and wizards, until he was out of sight.
Ellie asked, "What now?"
He shrugged and said, "I dunno. I've sort of seen everything already, except…"
There was something mischievous in the way he trailed off, and Ellie was almost afraid to ask, "except what?"
"Well I've never been here without my family before so I haven't been allowed… but I've always wanted to check out Knockturn Alley."
Ellie thought of Snape's warning not to wander down any side streets. "I dunno, I don't think I'm allowed…"
Phineas scoffed, "Who's going to stop you? That muggle who runs the Home?"
Ellie thought about making up some story about Hogwarts keeping an eye on her, but she was curious now. "Why weren't you allowed there?"
"Oh well it kind of has a reputation of Dark Magic, but most people have to go down there at some point, anyway, so it's not like totally bad. It has the best apothecary in the country, for one thing. Loads of rare ingredients and things, plus an expert potion maker who'll brew up anything you need for the right price…"
Ellie looked skeptical. She really didn't want to keep associating herself with dark magic.
"Aw don't look like that, Ell. It's not just like poisons or whatever. They also do like tonics for rare pets. Granted, most people aren't bothered by salamanders with scale rot but if you're really into care of magical creatures, there's nowhere better to go. You're such a potions nerd, I thought you'd at least want to look in the window."
She smiled guiltily, "Yeah alright. I'm a huge potions nerd and you're very convincing. Let's go." Phineas led the way and Ellie continued, "Do you think they'll have Mamushi venom? It's not technically illegal but it's hard to find."
"Is it dangerous?"
"Not if you don't touch it. It's the key ingredient for liquid sunshine. I mean you could use salamander blood instead, but Mamushi venom acts as a preservative so you could store the potion for years and it would still work. Salamander blood goes all gooey after a few months..."
Their conversation died as they entered the mouth of the alley. A few steps in, they couldn't hear the buzz of the street behind them and they could feel the temperature drop. The narrow street had a few customers hurrying along with their heads down, and Ellie immediately understood why Snape hadn't wanted her here. Despite Phineas's claim that the place was alright, every shop window was full of dark objects. Her skin prickled uncomfortably as they passed a storefront full of shrunken heads, which were watching them carefully.
Ellie wanted to turn around, but Phineas didn't seem bothered. He was staring around with obvious interest and was perfectly thrilled with this little bit of rule-breaking. Ellie was worried that he would want to go into one of the shops with miscellaneous dark objects, but he didn't stop until they were at the apothecary. The bell on the door clanged dully as Ellie followed him inside.
The large shop had several small display cases in the middle of the room, containing all manner of herbs and vials. Around the perimeter there was a long counter cutting customers off from the three walls filled floor to ceiling with even more ingredients. It was empty except for a dour old man sitting behind the counter, weighing and bagging small quantities of a peculiar purple vine that Ellie didn't recognize. He didn't look up when they walked in, so they started looking at the display cases.
Phineas was right. This place was definitely better stocked than the apothecary she had visited in Diagon Alley last summer. She only recognized a fraction of the things before her, many of which were unlabelled. She assumed that if you came in here looking for a rare ingredient, you ought to know what it looked like first. She wandered over to look at the array of vials on one wall (as far away from the shopkeeper as possible).
There were easily a hundred different types of blood. To her surprise, the dragonblood was labelled by breed and age of the dragon. She wondered how their effects differed from each other. There were also some bottles labelled "Seer" and "Metamorphmagus" which Ellie guessed were full of human blood. A small sign on the counter said, "No Unicorn blood." It said something about the expected clientele that the sign was even necessary, since the unicorn blood trade was universally reviled and outlawed.
"No touching!" said the owner harshly. Ellie spun around and saw Phineas hastily pulling his hand back from a dragon claw on display. "If you're not buying, get out."
Phineas looked at Ellie desperately and she said, "Um, we, well, I, actually… I was wondering if you have any Mamushi Venom? Sir?"
He narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but he stepped away from the scales and turned to a glass cabinet behind him. Ellie drifted over and was joined by Phineas at the counter. The shopkeeper placed two glass vials in front of them. One was about the size of Ellie's fist, and the other no bigger than her little finger. Ellie lifted the tiny tag with a shaky hand but there was no price under the little Mamushi Venom label. "Um… How much is it?"
The storekeeper tapped his fingers on the counter irritably and sucked on his cheek. In a store without price tags, the assumption was that if you had to ask, you couldn't afford it. Looking back and forth between the two children, he said, "Five galleons." Phineas winced. "For the small bottle."
As Ellie tried to think of a polite way to extricate herself from the conversation, the bell on the door rang again. For a moment she was grateful for something to diffuse the intense moment. With a respectful tone, the shopkeeper said, "Ah, I'm sorry I don't have your order ready yet, Severus. Still waiting on a few deliveries, I'm afraid."
Ellie's stomach dropped. She and Phineas glanced at each other quickly in panic but didn't turn around or say anything. Ellie winced at each of Snape's slow, measured steps toward the counter. He leaned on the counter right next to her, so it was impossible for her to not see him, unless she turned her head. She froze with her eyes straight ahead, desperately trying to pretend that the face in her peripheral vision was anything less than furious.
Snape reached out a long, pale hand and flipped the tag on the bottle toward himself. Icily, he said, "Mamushi Venom. What are you planning to make with Mamushi venom, exactly?" The children held their tongues. The shopkeeper seemed to recognize that this conversation did not involve him, so he backed up a pace, but continued to watch cautiously. With sudden volume, Snape snapped, "Prewett!"
Phineas jumped and made the mistake of meeting Snape's eyes. Once they locked on, he seemed unable to look away. Stuttering, he said, "J-Just liquid s-sunshine, s-sir…"
Snape shifted his glare to Ellie and Phineas hurriedly lowered his eyes again. The professor continued quietly, "And what were you planning to do with this potion, assuming you were able to brew it correctly at all?"
It seemed like such a weak excuse, now that she thought about it, to go into the forbidden street full of dark magic for such a silly thing, but she saw no choice but to answer. "Well, there's no sunlight in the dungeons so I thought I could use it to, well… grow some flowers, even in - in the dark…"
Snape seemed at a loss for words for moment. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists on the counter, turning away from the children. "Flowers… Liquid sunshine… for flowers. You are aware, aren't you, of what happens when bare skin is exposed to liquid sunshine?"
Ellie blushed guiltily. She knew exactly how dangerous it was. Plants sustained by liquid sunshine were completely untouchable until they were thoroughly washed, which is why it wasn't commonly used, and was entirely banned in professional agriculture for anything that might someday be eaten. Trying to downplay this a little, she said, "It… well it gives you a sunburn."
The shopkeeper snorted. "You mean it boils your skin off and causes cancer."
Phineas gasped. Clearly he had been misled by the innocent-sounding name. Ellie said weakly, "Only if it's undiluted…"
Snape banged his fist on the counter and yelled, "So you knew!"
Phineas and Ellie drew back. Seeing their fear, Snape took a deep breath and said through gritted teeth, "You knew, and you were going to use it anyway. I expected better of you. And why come all the way here for the venom when you could use the standard -"
"Salamander blood, I know." Ellie interrupted. "But I didn't want it to coagulate…"
Snape did not look pleased by her feeble explanation but the shopkeeper appraised her appreciatively. "Very good. You never want to compromise on key ingredients. As a student you do it all the time, I'm sure, but you'll move past that eventually if you continue with the subject. You must be very proud of your student, Severus."
The professor rounded on the thin man and said sternly, "I would thank you not to sell such ingredients to my underage students, Malcolm, no matter how knowledgeable they appear."
Haughtily, he replied, "I wasn't planning to. She couldn't afford it anyway."
Snape nodded stiffly and said, "I'll be back for my order next week." He turned to the children and said, "Playtime is over. Go home." And finally, giving Ellie a significant look, "Immediately."
Phineas and Ellie scurried out of the shop, and practically ran back to diagon alley, not stopping until they were once again surrounded by the warm and friendly environment. Phineas looked over his shoulder to make sure Snape hadn't followed then breathed a sigh of relief. "I reckon we got off easy back there. I thought he'd give us detention or something for sure. You think he'll tell my parents?"
Ellie didn't think that he would. The real punishment, she felt, had been his look of disappointment. She was not looking forward to facing him when she got home, but she knew that delaying the confrontation would only make it worse. Gloomily, she said, "I've got to go now. I'll write, if I can."
Phineas patted her shoulder consolingly and said, "Don't worry. I bet you're still his favorite student."
Ellie grunted noncommittally and headed back to the Leaky Cauldron, leaving Phineas to make his own way home. When she stepped out of the fire at Spinner's End, Snape was already sitting in his armchair, waiting for her. Ellie put her newly purchased book on the end table and sat down on the small sofa, as far from Snape as she could.
A minute passed, then two, then five, and still Snape said nothing. Ellie could feel his eyes boring into her, though. She glanced up and saw him glaring, then looked away quickly. Finally she mustered her courage and said, "I'm sorry, Professor."
"I told you to stay in Diagon Alley, but you just couldn't keep away, could you. If you are trying to distance yourself from the dark arts, showing up in Knockturn alley is not doing you any favors."
"But lots of wizards go there, even you -"
" I am an adult, and am required to go there for my job. You, however, are a student with no business there. And I specifically asked you not to."
Something was bothering Ellie. "How did you even know I was there? Were you following us?"
"I was tracking you," he said, pointing at a small silver disk on the table. "If you went where you weren't supposed to, that would light up."
Ellie was shocked. "How could you do that? That's like… like spying on me! I thought you trusted me."
"What have you done to earn my trust?" he snapped back. "And do you really think I was the only one keeping tabs on you? People notice who shows up in Knockturn Alley, Ellie. It is discussed. The headmaster will know soon, if he doesn't already, and he will be far angrier than I am."
"I don't care what he thinks of me -"
"You should care. He was very lenient with you your first year, but do not expect that special treatment to continue. You need to watch yourself, because he will certainly be watching you."
Ellie crossed her arms and said, "What's he going to do to me? Give me detention? Tell my parents?"
"Stop being such a child!" Snape stood up from his chair and threw his hands up in exasperation. "He can expel you, break your wand, banish you from the magical community, wipe your mind, curse you, kill you, whatever he wants! He is the most powerful wizard in the world. Kamat is nothing - NOTHING - compared to him."
Suddenly quiet, he sat beside her and said, "I am trying to protect you, Ellie. I believe you are good. And Dumbledore wants to believe. But you are going out of your way to prove us wrong. Just keep your head down, alright? Go to classes. Do your homework. Stop messing with magic you don't understand."
"But I do understand."
"You don't. Not yet."