Chapter Text
When Chaeyoung wakes up, Tzuyu’s still in her room. She is pretty sure it’s the first time she’s up before Tzuyu during the time that they’ve lived together. The apartment is quiet and lonely even though Tzuyu’s only a door away, and Chaeyoung feels like it’s a metaphor for her life currently.
She grabs her backpack, fully prepared to spend the day in the library and avoid the upcoming awkward conversation with Tzuyu for as long as possible, but when she’s putting her shoes on, Tzuyu’s door opens.
“Chaeyoung-ah?” Tzuyu says, her voice quiet and hesitant.
Chaeyoung is caught off guard. She expected to postpone this conversation by at least a few more hours, and she has not prepared at all for this. “Hey. I was just going to the library.”
Tzuyu opens her door wider. “Can we talk about last night?”
“We really don’t need to.” Chaeyoung avoids her eyes, choosing to stare at her shoes instead. “You were drunk, I understand.”
“But-“
“Can we just forget about it? It’s not a big deal, really.”
Tzuyu looks like she wants to say more, but she just purses her lips. “Fine. Have fun at the library.” She retreats back into her room, and the sound of the door shutting seems to echo around the empty room.
Follow the rules. Chaeyoung takes one last glance at Tzuyu’s door before leaving.
True to her word, she spends the entire day in the library, only leaving to grab some lunch and go to the bathroom. Chaeyoung wishes she could say she got a lot of work done, but she’d be lying.
It’s late when she starts to head back, and she has a sense of déjà vu. She half-expects Tzuyu to be on the couch waiting for her when Chaeyoung gets home. She’s scared of the answer. Tzuyu isn’t there though when she comes home, and Chaeyoung doesn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.
The apartment is strangely clean. The couch, which always has an ungodly amount of blankets and pillows, is completely bare aside from the decorative pillows. Tzuyu’s shoes, which are usually lined up at the door neatly, are gone. There are no scattered notes and homework spread across the table or indigo coffee mug filled with hot chocolate.
She almost thinks Tzuyu left the apartment for the night, but when she strains her ears, she can hear faint music coming from Tzuyu’s room.
Chaeyoung takes one last look at the apartment which no longer contains the charming mix of signs that both of them live there, and she feels her heart clench tightly. She retreats to her room without telling Tzuyu she’s home.
“Chaeng, no offense, but you’re stupid.”
Chaeyoung frowns at Dahyun. “Offense taken. Rude.”
“You really think Tzuyu wants you as a rebound?”
“She just broke up with Jungkook“
“If Tzuyu tried to kiss you, that means she wanted to kiss you. She’s not one to do things spontaneously.”
“Well, she was drunk-“
“You said she had two glasses. I’ve seen your wine glasses, they’re tiny.”
“Tzuyu’s a lightweight, everyone knows that.”
“I think you’re making up excuses,” Dahyun says firmly. “You’ve gotten so caught up in the idea that Tzuyu won’t ever love you back, you’re not thinking straight about this entire situation.”
Chaeyoung huffs, crossing her arms. “What makes you think you’re so right then.”
“I’ve told you before. You can’t lie with your eyes, and Tzuyu’s eyes say she loves you. You should’ve seen her at Christmas. Her heart-eye game was strong.”
“And then Jungkook came into the picture literally days after Christmas.”
“Please. I asked her about Jungkook a few days before the breakup. She said two sentences about him before delving into a lengthy discussion on the possibilities of why you’re avoiding her again.”
Well, turns out Chaeyoung wasn’t as subtle as she previously thought.
“I wasn’t entirely sure until that talk. She was so worried about you, Chaeng. There’s no way she doesn’t feel the same way.” Dahyun waves her arms around to emphasize her point. “Go talk to her.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
Dahyun seems so sure Tzuyu feels the same way, but there’s a slim chance she’s completely wrong and Chaeyoung will confess and freak Tzuyu out. Just the thought of risking everything makes her feel like she’s gonna throw up.
“You’ve been avoiding Tzuyu for what, four days? You’ve been in love with her for nearly four years. Tell her.”
“I don’t want to ruin anything”
Dahyun raises her eyebrows, her expression sad. “You think avoiding her hasn't ruined it already?”
Chaeyoung’s heart hammers in her chest as she walks up to the door of their apartment. She wants to turn and run, but Dahyun’s final words echo in her mind. She pushes open the door. Tzuyu’s sitting at the table, reading her textbook.
“Chaeng,” Tzuyu says, surprise lacing her voice. She shoves her books in her backpack hurriedly. “Sorry.”
Chaeyoung grabs Tzuyu’s wrist before she can leave for her room. “Can we talk? Please?”
Tzuyu bites her lip. Up close, Chaeyoung can see the dark rings under Tzuyu’s eyes. She hasn’t been sleeping, and Chaeyoung feels her chest constrict. This is her fault.
“I’ve been trying to give you space,” Tzuyu confesses quietly, not meeting Chaeyoung’s eyes. “That’s what you want, right?”
“No,” Chaeyoung says, her voice nearly a whisper. She never wanted any of this.
“Well, can you tell me what you do want then?” Tzuyu chuckles, but it’s low and flat.
Chaeyoung takes a deep breath and grabs Tzuyu’s hands. Tell her. Be honest. “I’ve been in love with you since we were sixteen.”
She looks away, avoiding Tzuyu’s face. It feels weird to admit it out loud, and even weirder to say it to Tzuyu after years of hiding it.
She’s terrified.
“Chaeng-“
“Please.” Her voice is small. “And I thought I was over you, but you asked me to live with you, and I said yes. Then you started to date Jungkook, and I realized I never truly stopped loving you like I had thought.”
She laughs wryly. “You broke up with him and tried to kiss me the same night. If you kissed me and regretted it, I wouldn’t be able to look you in the eyes again, so I ran to protect our friendship. But running broke it even more, and I can’t stand the thought of losing you. I know this is going to change everything, but everything is changing anyways, and I think being honest is the best way to go.”
She’s still staring at the ground, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She wonders if Tzuyu can hear it.
“Chaengie, please look at me.” Tzuyu’s hands come up to cradle her face, and she tilts Chaeyoung’s face up. Tzuyu’s eyes are fierce and honest. “I broke up with Jungkook because I love you.”
Chaeyoung suddenly can’t breathe. “What?”
“You-” Tzuyu closes her mouth with a frustrated sigh. “Can I kiss you?”
Something in her voice makes Chaeyoung nod her head, despite her fear that nothing will ever be the same if this happens.
When Tzuyu kisses her, there’s no fireworks like all the cliches led Chaeyoung to believe.
It’s so much better. It feels like Chaeyoung is finally home, here in Tzuyu’s arms, kissing her. Chaeyoung grips Tzuyu’s shirt tightly, the soft material bunching up between her fingers. Tzuyu’s lips are firm and insistent, and Chaeyoung never wants this moment to end.
Tzuyu breaks the kiss first, and she leans her forehead against Chaeyoung’s, still cradling Chaeyoung’s jaw. They give themselves a moment to breathe.
“Tzuyu,” Chaeyoung whispers, awe evident in her voice. “Please tell me this wasn’t a one-time thing.”
She couldn’t handle going back to pretending everything is normal after that kiss. She can’t go back to being just Tzuyu’s best friend.
“You’re so dumb, Son Chaeyoung,” Tzuyu mutters. “I love you, why is that so hard to believe?”
Chaeyoung has spent almost four years of her life pushing away her feelings, thinking Tzuyu wouldn’t return her feelings and being scared of losing her. It takes all the courage she has to stand on her tiptoes and press another kiss to Tzuyu’s lips, trying to convey the whirlwind of emotions currently rushing through her right now.
“I love you,” Chaeyoung repeats to herself, trying to sink in the fact that she said it to Tzuyu, and Tzuyu said it back. “I’ve loved you for so long.”
“I love you too.” Tzuyu pulls Chaeyoung into a hug, unwilling to let her go. “And we’ll figure everything out together.”
It doesn’t feel like a new beginning, exactly. If Chaeyoung had to describe it, she’d say it’s more like taking the next step they were always supposed to take.
It feels right.
“Chaeyoung-ah, are you ready to go?”
Chaeyoung runs around her room and throws on a random sweatshirt while trying to slip on her shoes at the same time. She’s fairly sure they’re running late, and Nayeon will give them hell when they show up.
“Shit,” she mutters to herself, halfway out the door when she realizes she’s forgetting something. She rushes to her desk and grabs a small piece of paper, shoving it in her pocket before going to the kitchen-slash-living room.
Her panic is forgotten when Tzuyu leans down and presses a quick kiss to her lips. “I like your sweatshirt.”
Chaeyoung looks down and rolls her eyes when she figures out she somehow managed to grab one of Tzuyu’s sweatshirts. This is the third time this week. Luckily, this one didn’t have Tzuyu’s name on it, or her friends would never let her live it down. She silences Tzuyu’s laughs with another kiss.
“Should we go?” Chaeyoung asks, resisting the urge to say screw it and ditch their friends.
“Probably.” Tzuyu grins and laces their hands together. The entire drive to Mina’s house, they don’t let go. They have four years to make up for, after all.
When they get there, Jihyo is trying to light the large pile of firewood in the front of the house while Jeongyeon and Sana encourage her from the side. Nayeon lazes around in a chair. Mina currently is barbequing hamburgers while Dahyun learns some weird dance from Momo.
“Look who decided to show up,” Nayeon says when the two of them get out of the car.
Tzuyu shrugs at Nayeon. “Chaeng had to promise to buy me dinner for the next month to get me to come and hang out with you.”
Nayeon throws a twig at Tzuyu with a scowl. “Show your elders some respect.”
“Yes, halmeoni.”
Nayeon gasps like she had been shot. “Jeong, do you hear this kid? The nerve!”
“She’s been hanging out with Chaeng too much.”
Chaeyoung maturely sticks her tongue out in response.
“Jihyo’s created fire!” Momo exclaims before Nayeon can get up from her chair and tackle the maknaes. “Thank god for Jihyo.”
“Yes!” Jihyo starts jumping up and down by the firepit, and if Chaeyoung didn’t know any better, she would’ve thought Jihyo was doing some kind of ritualistic dance. Actually, on second thought, she might be doing a ritualistic dance. Jihyo has to get all her power from somewhere, after all.
“Fuck school!” Jihyo shouts, throwing a large pile of paper into the fire. It’s obvious she’s been waiting to do this for a long time, and Chaeyoung figures all that stress from going to the most competitive university in Korea builds up. Momo cheers and throws her own pile of papers in. Everyone else starts to chuck in their various useless papers from school, laughing as the reality of summer break finally starts to set in.
Chaeyoung’s eyes automatically find Tzuyu. Her face is bathed in the warm glow of the fire, and she’s smiling softly at the laughter of their friends. Chaeyoung wants to preserve this moment in time forever to look back on it later. She’s still in awe that Tzuyu loves her, that Tzuyu wants to date her.
“Are you gonna throw anything in?” Tzuyu asks, rubbing over the knuckles of Chaeyoung’s hand with her thumb.
Chaeyoung reaches into her pocket and feels the paper inside of it. “Just one thing.”
There must be something in her face that indicates how important this is for Chaeyoung, and Tzuyu notices it. She nudges Chaeyoung’s leg with her foot. “Go on. I’ll be here when you come back.”
Chaeyoung blushes because the campfire was ten feet, tops, away from where they’re sitting, yet Tzuyu still reassured her she’ll be there for Chaeyoung. She leans over and pecks Tzuyu’s cheek, ignoring the teasing of their friends. “I’ll be right back.”
She goes to stand next to Dahyun, who elbows Sana not-so-discreetly. Thankfully, Sana gets the message and goes to the other side of the fire to talk to Mina and Momo. Not without kissing Dahyun’s forehead first, making her blush like crazy.
Chaeyoung takes out the piece of paper from the pocket of Tzuyu’s sweatshirt and unfolds it. She doesn’t feel her gut clench at the sight of the list like it used to. It’s been ten months since she wrote this list with Dahyun. She’s been dating Tzuyu for three months now.
“Dahyun-unnie, thanks for helping me make this list.” She looks down at the six rules for the last time. “But I don’t think I’ll need it anymore.”
Chaeyoung tosses the piece of paper in the fire and watches it crumple into itself before turning to ash.
She feels lighter. She feels free.
Dahyun smiles at her, a proud glint in her eye. “I’m glad. You deserve to be happy.” She pulls Chaeyoung into a brief, tight hug, and Chaeyoung is glad she has someone like Dahyun in her life. She looks around the circle of chairs at all her friends' faces. She’s glad she has all of them in her life.
When she sits back down, she grabs Tzuyu’s hand and brings the taller girl’s knuckles to her lips, almost reverently. “I love you, Tzuyu-ya.”
Tzuyu pulls her hand away gently and uses it to lift Chaeyoung’s chin towards her. “I love you too, Chaeng.”
Tzuyu kisses her gently, and Chaeyoung will never get tired of kissing her. She could do this for the rest of her life and die happy.
“Gay,” someone shouts across the fire. They both turn and glare Jeongyeon, who hides behind Nayeon. Chaeyoung flicks her off and settles into Tzuyu’s side, staring into the fire where she burned the six ways to get over her crush on her current girlfriend (with pictures).
Chaeyoung will be the first to admit it.
She’s completely and most definitely in love with Chou Tzuyu.