Chapter Text
“Tony, calm the fuck down—“
“—Don’t fucking tell me what to do!”
“YOU TRIPPED OVER MY PACKAGED BEEF STEW, YOU BITCH!”
“LA PUBERTAD NO HA SIDO AMABLE CON DORA LA EXPLORADORA! EAT MY ASS, BARTON!”
“What the— what did he just say?” Bruce says, eating a bag of popcorn on the couch in confusion. Thor sits on his other side scrolling on his phone. “P-Puberty? Puberty has not been... Clint, do you speak spanish?”
Clint watches as one Tony Stark runs down the hall in nothing but a pair of boxers and a nasa shirt with a dvd of Incredibles 2 duct taped to his face. Only God may guess how the hell that happened.
“Bruce, I can barely even speak english, let alone whatever the hell this train wreck is sayi—“
“Cut the guy some slack,” Rhodey says as he exits his room. “He’s getting married in three days.“
“RHODEY, I’M ALMOST LATE FOR MY FLIGHT!” Tony exclaims, throwing a suitcase and 4 duffel bags in the man’s direction. “Drive me to the airport, I’ll owe you!”
“I thought your dad sent a guy to pick you up?”
“Happy got a flat tire in the middle of 95,” he huffs, and Clint immediately pulls out his phone to tell the group chat about today’s antics. That’s just group chat chivalry, at this point. “Please. I can’t be late, I still have to meet the wedding planner in Santa Barbara tonight, go to the venue, meet up with Howard so we can—“
“Tones, just get in the damn car, I’ll be outside in a minute,” Rhodey sighs. He shoves the disgruntled groom-to-be towards the door to the stairs, bags in hand.
“Okay, I just—I’ll see you guys at the wedding! Remember to text me any questions about the address or whatever, or not, because I’ll probably have a panic attack just having more stuff to worry about, and remember the dress code is red gold and black, this is a classy event goddammit, and if any of you all are late or miss a flight then I’m gonna curb stomp your asses—”
Rhodey closes the door in his face. Thor looks up from his phone as soon as it’s silent. “This wedding is gonna give me an aneurism,” he says.