Chapter Text
England was straight up not having a good time. The turmoil of the past few years was starting to catch up with him. And he was uncomfortably aware of the fact that the next month and a bit would do little to improve his situation. A permanent frown was etched into his face, the perfect companion to the raging migraine that had been his constant companion since the start of this whole ordeal. Part of him wished that October and that damn deadline would be over and done with. On the other hand, he also seriously wished that he had never heard of the cursed term 'Brexit'. The clock was ticking, every passing second drawing him closer to the 31st of October. The unexplainable sense of dread and apprehension he felt did not bide well with the former pirate.
"Bloody hell, I am getting too old for this." He shook his head, pouring himself a cup of tea. He peered wistfully into the steaming liquid as if it could provide the answer to all of his problems. Unfortunately, the beverage had no solutions for him.
His sullen mood was interrupted by an incoming conference video call. A glance at his phone and the identity of the callers told him all that he needed to know. In a desperate attempt to distract himself, he clicked accept. And then instantly regretted it.
“Hey dude! It’s me the hero! Did you miss me?” A shrill pitch pierced the older nations ears causing him to flinch.
“America.” he acknowledged, jaw clenched.
“I am here too.” a voice mumbled.
Hearing the second person, a ghost of a smile graced England's face. “Yes, I see that Canada. Now to what do I owe the pleasure of this call?”
"We're boooorrrreeeddd!" America drew out the word as if to accentuate the situation.
"And so you decided to bother me." England deadpanned. "Is there nothing more interesting to do at your places?"
"Actually," the quieter 'twin' spoke up, "there is plenty happening. In fact, I'm in the middle of an election. But I just wanted to check in with.."
The rest of his sentence was cut off by his southern neighbour, "Matty! I didn't know that you had elections! You have a president? Are you copying me?"
Identical sighs escaped England and Canada as they exchanged looks, "America, you are not the only country that has elections.", the island nation chastised him.
"And no I don't have a president," Canada grumbled, "I have a prime minister."
"Sounds lame." America proclaimed.
The mild-tempered nation's brows furrowed, "My election is not lame! You’re lame!"
England shook his head at their antics which quickly began escalating. He went to help himself to some biscuits as the two North Americans battled out whose election was more captivating. The older country drowned them out with his tea as they continued to drone on.
'...Liberals…''...impeachment…' '...blackface…' ' ...Democrats…' '...climate change…' '2020..'
Zoning back into the discussion, England returned to Canada sending a rebuttal to his neighbour, "Well at least we don't start campaigning over a year before the election."
This caught the Englishman's attention, "Wait a tick! When are your elections?"
"Next month." Canada muttered as his southern counterpart responded, "November 2020!".
"Is there any specific reason that you are making a big deal about this now if it isn't until next autumn?"
"Ahhh cuz it's totally normal to start campaigning early!"
England stared back vacantly, "I do hope you are aware of how idiotic that is."
"No, everyone else's election periods are just dumb! They should follow the hero and campaign for a least a year. How else would you…"
Having heard enough and given his raging headache, England swiftly hit a button on his phone. His shoulders instantly uncoiled as the grating tone of the American was silenced.
“Did you...did you just put him on mute?!”, Canada gawked.
The island nation shrugged, “He was getting on my nerves.”
Canada did not know whether or not to be impressed or offended.
“Come on now chap, don’t give me that look. It’s for his own good.” Seeing the continued scepticism on the others face, England's expression softened, “Besides, I think at this point all he really needs is a good rant session. This will be therapeutic, he can get it out of his system while not annoying anyone.”
America’s ‘twin’ chuckled in agreeance, “A hundred bucks says he doesn’t even notice he is on mute.”
England's eyes narrowed in mock disapproval, “I am not making bets that I know I will lose. Besides with the pound to Canadian dollar exchange rate right now, I would be out a lot more than you.”
Canada’s brows drew together, “Why is..”, he drifted off as a wave of understanding overcame him, “Oh right! Sorry, I forgot that Brexit was causing the pound to plummet.”
At the word ‘Brexit’, England instinctively flinched. Not wishing to worry the North American, he plastered on a smile, hoping the transition was quick enough to escape the notice of the Canadian. Unfortunately, his mock cheer was met by silence.
“What, did you put me on mute now?” his veiled attempt at humour was met with further silence. The Canadian sat still on the other end, studying the older nation. England squirmed under the scrutinizing glance of his younger ‘son’. Canada had always seemed to be able to peer into England’s deepest emotions, something he was not comfortable with, as they were hidden for a reason.
Desperate to prevent the Canadian from unearthing things that he would rather keep deep in the recesses of his heart, England attempted to change the subject, “So hockey starts next month, right?”
Even at the prospect of a conversation on hockey, Canada would not be deterred, “How is everything going with Brexit?”
The Englishman's brows knitted, “It’s fine. It will all be over and done with next month. Deal or no deal.”
The northern nation shook his head, “That’s not what I mean. I know the logistics of the situation, but how are you holding up?”
“I am fine.” was England short reply.
Canada was not convinced, "Talking about elections, how many Prime Ministers have you been through since the start of this mess?"
England inhaled, answering through gritted teeth, "Three, possibly four with Johnson's latest stunt. If the supreme court's decision is anything to go off of, he may be shortly out of a job."
The younger blond nodded his head empathetically, "Being in the midst of an election, I know how taxing there are. I can't imagine how difficult three elections in the period of a few years would be."
"You do know who you are talking to right? I controlled ⅓ of this globe. A few elections and this Brexit ordeal mean nothing to me."
England frowned as he noticed the sympathetic expression that still framed Canada's face, "We are truly worried about you, you know that right?"
"I appreciate the sentiment, but your concern is completely baseless." England attempted to brush the younger country off, "Although, incidentally, who exactly is 'we'?"
"America and me!", hesitation, "Um, and France."
The island nations brows snapped together, teeth clenched, "Now you're really venturing into the unbelievable, lad!"
"He does care, more than either of you would like to admit."
England's face contorted, the emotions he had left simmering since June 2016, began to approach a boil, "No. He. Does. Not! In fact, he hasn't even contacted me since this spring, before the deadline was changed."
The younger countries expression dulled, “I haven’t heard from him too often since then either. He assured me everything was alright and that he has simply been preoccupied with something.”
A scoff, “Probably planning a celebration since he can finally wash his hands of me."
Canada winced, “I do wish you could see he doesn't actually hate you.”
“And I wish this topic of conversation was over.”
“Sorry for pushing it.” The North American murmured apologetically, “I just wanted to help.”
England exhaled, more irked at himself than at his conversation partner, “No I'm sorry, you were just trying to cheer me up. I do appreciate that.”
The corner of the Canadians eyes crinkled fondly, “Let me know if I can do anything.”
“Take it easy.” England ran his hand through his messy blond hair which was starting to grow too long for his taste. France’s fault of course, as he had not been around to cut it. “Try to survive your next month of elections. And America’s americanness.”
“Thanks.” Canada beamed at his parental figure, “Oh and speaking on America, maybe you should check back in with him.”
“Fine I suppose you're right.” the older nation rolled his eyes, lightheartedly grumbling as he turned the volume on the American’s call off silent.
“...and here's how Bernie can still win...”
Canada burst out laughing at his ‘brother’, “Wow Al, I didn't realise we were still in 2016.”
America maturely stuck his tongue out in response, “Hey the memes of yesterday are the truths of today!”
“That doesn't make any...”
“I haven't the foggiest idea what you two are going on about,” England interrupted them, “and frankly I don't care to. So this is where I bid you adieu.”
A chorus of goodbyes met his ears as he clicked to end the call. Rubbing his temples, he turned to the kitchen. After that discussion and the month that lay ahead of him, he needed something stronger than tea.