Chapter Text
“You were extremely lucky, you know that.”*
“Extremely.”*
She could feel his eyes boring into her as she turned to meet them.
All of a sudden, the surgery and how close they came to Stella dying, faded from her mind. The air got electric as they watched each other in a heated silence.
Ava briefly wondered if Connor’s response was actually about the surgery or about something else. He was looking at her in a way she’d never seen from him.
It was a tense, heated second until she couldn’t stand the depth of their gaze and she looked away, breaking whatever that moment was.
She cleared her throat, reorganizing the binders to give her hands something to do, “Stella could have died.”
Ava heard Connor shift, taking his hands out of his pockets to cross his arms, “But she didn’t. We saved her and we were still able to give her the life she wants.”
She shook her head, looking back to Connor. She still remembered the panic that started to fill her when Connor was yelling at Marty, pushing the limits till the absolute last second.
She really hadn’t thought they were going to be able to do it. She honestly thought they were going to lose Stella on the table all because Connor was determined to save her lung.
But it had worked in their favor. Just barely.
Next time though-
And the whole situation with Blair Scott was still running through her mind.
Ava shook her head, stacking a pile of folders loudly, “Connor, that was insanely risky. We may not be that fortunate next time.”
“I did what I thought I needed to do, and I was right,” He argued back, frustrated with the fact Ava was still berating him.
He-they-had done risky things in the past and yes, she got annoyed with him but today, she was behaving different.
It was like she was almost timid and in distress. In fact, he’d seen glimpses of it when they were in the OR.
Connor sighed, watching as Ava restacked the folders, a frown on her face, “Ava, what’s going on? You’re acting strange. I saw it in the OR too.”
He saw her eyes flash, some snarky remark no doubt on the tip of her tongue at his words when her face crumpled, and her eyes softened with vulnerability. Her emotions always changed so fast, sometimes he had a hard time keeping up with them.
The sadness in her face and posture startled him. His voice softened, “Ava, it’s alright. You can tell me.”
Was she disappointed in him? In how the surgery went?
He was surprised to find he’d rather have her angry with him instead of disappointed. The feeling of thinking that she might be disappointed in him was heart-wrenching and he was pretty sure it had something to do with the things he felt towards her. The feelings he was starting to realize he had; ones he was starting to understand exactly what they meant.
Even if that disappointment was misplaced and he knew that he did the right thing. And he was pretty sure that deep down, Ava knew it too.
But still, her disappointed in him? It made him feel terrible.
And that sadness in her eyes. It made him regret yelling at her.
Ava sighed, turning to meet his concerned gaze, “I’m sorry Connor,” She pursed her lips, her expression turning into a begrudging one, “I shouldn’t have shouted at you and even though I still think it was very risky, you made the right call. And I’m glad you did.”
She blew out a breath. She’d never been comfortable at apologies. She supposed it was a result of herself convincing her brain that it wasn’t a good idea to show any amount of vulnerability. Which was also why she hesitated at telling Connor anything.
But she’d found him quite the comforter in the past during the rare moments she showed any kind of pain or uncertainty. And that was slightly terrifying within itself because it only furthered her growing belief that she was starting to develop real feelings for him.
She bit her lip as those deep blue eyes gazed at her with concern and maybe even a hint of worry.
Her brows crinkled again, “This morning, the patient that Natalie asked me to consult with. Blair Scott.”
Connor nodded, his face already turning somber and grave, guessing that whatever she was about to tell him wasn’t good news, “What happened?”
Ava deflated, sorrow creeping into her eyes, “Her heart, I could fix it with my eyes closed. And I know her burns were horrible, but they were fixable.”
Connor waited for her to continue as she shook her head in disbelief. She locked eyes with him, confusion written over her face, “But her parents, they denied all treatment. They said it was too hard and that Blair wouldn’t want it. They just threw her life away all because they had tough road ahead of themselves and they didn’t think their daughter could do it.”
“Why Connor? Why would anyone do something like that?” Her eyes were glistening.
His heart went out to her and to Blair Scott and her family. It sounded like a terrible situation, but he agreed with Ava, why would any parent let their child die?
He let his mind wander briefly to his own father but quickly dismissed the morbid thought. His dad wouldn’t just let him die, no matter how strained their relationship was, right?
Connor shook his head to rid himself of the mental image. Besides, his relationship with his parent sounded much different than Blair’s relationship with her parents.
That was almost what was so baffling.
Why would the Scott’s give up on a daughter they seemed to love very much?
Of course, he didn’t know all the specific details, but it still seemed straightforward to him. He would like to think that if he should ever have a child, healthy or not, he would never give up on them. Not on their precious life.
Because if there was one thing being a doctor taught him was that life was precious.
It should be preserved at all costs if there was no statement from the actual patient dictating otherwise.
And he was certain that Ava felt the same way. It was no wonder she’d seemed off.
Connor looked into Ava’s watery eyes, resisting the urge to pull her into his arms to comfort her. Instead he settled for rubbing her arm lightly, “Wow, Ava. I’m sorry.”
She gave him a brief smile, “I think in the Scott’s minds they think they’re doing this out of love. An act of mercy for their daughter but I just don’t know Connor,” Ava shook her head in disbelief, “It’s her life. They can’t ever get it back.”
“I know. And I agree but--” Connor trailed off.
A nurse making her way deliberately towards them had caught his attention. Ava had noticed also, her gaze lifting.
“Dr. Bekker!” The nurse addressed Ava as she came closer.
As far as Connor could tell from the nurse’s expression, nothing was horribly wrong for which he was grateful. Both he and Ava had had an emotionally rough day and he knew she could use a break.
Ava bit her lip cautiously, “What is it now?”
Seeing the doctor’s anxiousness, the nurse waved reassuringly, a smile on her lips, “It’s Blair Scott. Her parents have changed their minds and she’s going for burn surgery. And hopefully to fix her heart. Are you still available to repair her carotid artery?”
Connor watched as Ava closed her eyes briefly in gratefulness before slipping back into doctor mode.
“Of course,” She nodded sharply, “Tell my team to meet me in the OR. And inform them I’ll be operating while Blair’s burns are being excised.”
The nurse nodded, turning to carry out Ava’s instructions while Ava herself closed the open and forgotten binder lying in front of her to put it in its place.
She grinned up at Connor, “Well, I for one, am thankful miracles exist.”
He grinned back, giving her a wink, “Me too,” His smile softened, “Good luck Ava.”
She held the moment for few more seconds before turning and heading in the direction of the ORs’. He watched her retreating figure. He agreed, thank God for miracles.
And he wasn’t just talking about medical ones.