Chapter Text
Someone flies, someone dies
Seriously, this time someone flies and someone dies…
… It’s The Adventure Zone.
~~~~
There's a deck of playing cards in the scavengers' open wagon, likely illegitimate and used for cheating purposes, given their owners' choice of profession. Magnus pockets it immediately. They also find about 220 gold pieces hidden under one of the loose floorboards, which Taako pockets immediately.
Four miles on, the edge of Phandalin is on fire. The red-yellow light of bright flames stand stark against the dusky light of evening, putting to rest any hopes any of the four adventurers might have had that they would reach the town in time to stop Gundren from causing any damage.
Fortunately, Phandalin's roads are crude, but wide. The fiery path Gundren blazed through the town is a straight line and the surrounding buildings are almost completely undamaged. No one is outside; the villagers know a threat when they see it, and a dwarf on fire blazing searing heat down the main street is very definitely a threat. Every single door and window is closed and locked, except for the local bar, which is where Gundren's fiery trail ends.
The bar door is scorched, but intact. It's very bright inside, and filled with screams and shouts, Barry Bluejeans' voice among them. As Magnus jumps down from the wagon and heads toward the door, Barry Bluejeans comes barrelling outside, staring wildly around. He's not on fire, but Gundren seems to be trying his best to rectify that, because Barry ducks just in time to avoid a searing fireball thrown right through the bar door in his direction.
"Oh my god, you're back," he says, sounding haggard and relieved. "You guys, you've got to help me, I've never seen him like — well, obviously I've never seen him engulfed in flames and all magical and shit, but — things are really bad, you guys, you've got to calm him down!"
"He's right," says Killian with a nod. "We can't fight him right now. If we try to fight him, we're going to lose. He's more powerful than anybody you guys have ever met, that's not an empty promise, he will incinerate anybody who defies him. We've got to calm him down and try to get that glove off of him."
"OK," says Magnus.
"Which means you're going to attack, right?" Merle mutters.
"No. No. I cannot stress enough how much we are not fighting him."
Gundren blows open the door of the bar and walks outside, wreathed in flames, to stand in the middle of the group. "Why would you want to stop me?" he demands, and his voice — his voice is different. It's suffused with a power that makes it vibrate, as if Gundren barely remembers needing his voice to communicate at all, but it's also tinged with surrealism and a faraway tone, like the gauntlet's dwarven host is barely there to begin with. It's anger and unconcern in slow, tumultuous conflict. "I finally have enough power to get rid of those goddamn orcs."
Taako casts Charm Person on him. It doesn't work, so he tries again, completely disregarding the limited amount of spell energy available to him each day, and Gundren turns his fiery gaze on Taako, expression unreadable behind the intense white flame.
"Gundren, you have to listen," says Magnus. "The glove is consuming you from the inside out. Remember your father in the cave? If you don't remove the glove, you're going to die."
"I can control it!"
"You can't! Look at yourself! This isn't you!"
"You don't know what I'm like!"
Merle walks slowly towards Gundren, close enough for Gundren to turn his fiery eyes sharply on to him, but he doesn't flinch and he doesn't stop moving.
"We're cousins," Merle reminds him, speaking softly. "We have the same bloodline —"
"What's my middle name!? No, fuck it, what's my first name!?"
"Your first name is Gundren. Your middle name is Lou. Gundren Lou." Merle puts one hand on the glove. The bright, searing heat instantly begins to melt his armour and burn the flesh underneath, but through sheer force of will, Merle doesn't flinch, and doesn't move his hand. "I'm going to help you control it."
Gundren steps angrily away. "What are you doing!? This is mine!"
"We're the same bloodline, I can help you control it!"
"I don't need your help controlling it!"
"Fine, go do what you want, I don't care." Merle sounds flippant, but he doesn't move, not even to nurse his injured hand. "Gundren, you know me. Remember Candlenights at our aunt's house? We'd sit around and drink mulled wine…"
Gundren seems to relax, barely perceptible. "I miss her so much," he says.
"She was a good woman."
"She was, until she was murdered by those goddamn orcs!"
"That was never proven," Merle reminds Gundren, "and you know what? She loved you. She gave, every year, to the Orc Benevolent Fund."
"I know, and that's what made her death at their hands so ironic — so painfully ironic!"
"It is painfully ironic," Merle admits, "but is this what she would have wanted? Would she have wanted you to do this, to not only kill all these indiscriminate orcs, but burn your own ass up at the same time? I don't think so. Come on, why don't you take the gauntlet off, and we can all talk about it."
"I — I don't think I can."
"You can! You're the strongest dwarf I know! I mean, down through the years I've always turned to you —"
"Braun Strongarm is the strongest dwarf, and we both know that, so don't bullshit me."
"At arm wrestling, maybe, but you? You're strong at heart. I've always looked up to you."
"… I'm scared."
"You've always been my hero, Gundren, don't be scared. Look, we're all here together."
"I was a fireball earlier. And it hurt."
"I know, that must have hurt so bad."
"It hurt a lot."
"Aren't you tired of hurting? Aren't you tired of the fire, and the burning, and…"
"… I'm pretty sleepy."
"Why don't you just take a deep breath, take off the gauntlet, and everything's going to be OK."
The fire in Gundren's eyes has gone out. His hair is also gone, burned right off his head, and his clothes are miraculously intact for having been on fire until a minute before; they're tattered and scorched, but serviceable. Gundren looks exactly as tired as he claims to be, and he even looks a little bit remorseful.
"I'm sorry," he says. "I — I killed a bunch of orcs earlier, you didn't see that, did you?"
"We're going to blame it on the dumpster divers," Merle assures Gundren.
"I don't know what you're talking about, but… I'm just so tired."
"Why don't you close your eyes for a little bit, take a little nippy-nap —"
"You're right. I would love a nippy-nap."
"— and when you get up, we'll go spelunking, and share stories about Aunt Blarg."
"I miss her."
"I know you do."
"OK. You guys are right, I — I can't control this thing, and I think it's time we —"
T H U N K.
Gundren stumbles forward and catches himself just before falling. For a moment, time stands still; Gundren reaches behind him and grips the shaft of an arrow lodged in his back. On the outskirts of the town, the adolescent orc boy Magnus let out of the cage lowers a bow about the size of himself. The moment he meets their gaze, he turns and runs.
Gundren explodes in fire. His limbs completely vanish into the raging inferno, then his head. Bouts of flame rip off his growing body, cutting the entire building behind him in half, and the only noise anyone can hear is Gundren's all-encompassing scream.
"WHO DID THIS?!"
"Gundren," says Barry Bluejeans, stepping forward, "it wasn't any of us, you have to —"
With a giant flaming hand, Gundren crushes Barry into the ground.
"Time to go!" Killian shouts. She starts running towards the centre of town as Gundren continues to grow in both size and heat intensity. "Come on, come on, come on!"
"But Barry," says Taako, staring at where Barry Bluejeans used to be, which now holds only charred, dead flesh.
"We're not leaving with all these people here!" says Magnus.
Taako looks at them both, eyes wide, gaze somewhere very far away. "I'm not leaving without Barry."
Killian points to a large, deep well at the centre of town, and doesn't stop running. "Get to the well, get to the well, get to the well get to the well get to the well!"
Taako, with only a single moment's hesitation, takes off running after her towards the well.
"There's still tons of people here!" Magnus insists, torn and desperate. Killian doesn't answer, and Gundren is still growing, more and more fire pouring off of his body in sizzling waves.
"Get out of your homes!" Magnus shouts while he runs, as loudly as his lungs will let him. "Get out of town, now!"
A couple of people step out of their homes looking around in confusion, but they don't move.
Killian takes out her feather duster, taps herself with it, and then points it at Taako, Magnus, and Merle. Silvery bolts envelop all of three of them in the same pale, grey light as the light surrounding Killian. That done, Killian doesn't wait; she leaps into the well.
"Come on come on come on come on!" Her voice echoes up to surface level.
The three adventurers share one last look. It's a look of resignation, a look of panic. Then all three dive into the well without another word, where the magic from Killian's feather duster slows their forty-foot fall into the depths of the ground.
The night sky in the circle of light above them turns orange, then yellow, then bright searing red. Gundren screams one final time, and then all any of them can see above is flame, blotting out the sky completely. The roaring is deafening, the loudest sound in the universe, drowning out even thought, and it lasts almost a full minute and a half.
Killian lies unconscious at the bottom of the well. Maybe she hit her head on the way down, or maybe Merle, Taako, and Magnus landing on top of her knocked her out somehow. Whatever the cause, as Magnus, Taako, and Merle stand up to dust themselves off and take stock, Killian remains out cold.
"Well, this is going good," says Taako.
"We really suck at this so far," Merle says, nodding.
"You know," says Magnus slowly, "in retrospect, I really regret helping that orc kid."
"I wish we killed him," Taako agrees.
Magnus takes a deep breath and rallies himself. "But you know what? A lot of woulda, coulda, shoulda, you know?"
"That's true," says Taako. "Wish in one hand, spit in the other."
"Yeah. Hindsight, 20/20, and all that."
"Yeah. Classic. Can anybody levitate or anything?"
Magnus shakes his head. "I think we just live in the bottom of this well now."
The walls of the well are made of good, thick cobblestone, which in theory is climbable. Magnus examines that prospect, nods to himself, and takes Killian's large crossbow away from her while Taako nods approvingly. Magnus slaps her face once, and she doesn't wake up.
"OK, she's dead, let's go."
"She's not dead," says Merle. "Thoroughly concussed, yeah, but not dead."
Magnus sighs. "OK. I don't want to just leave her."
"Nah, we got to take her," says Merle.
"She's got a magic feather duster," Taako points out, "and if I know anything about magic, that'll be really good for dusting."
Magnus hesitates, then takes the magic feather duster, and the remote control animation device as well.
"No, I want the feather duster," Taako objects.
"In a little bit."
"It's magical."
"OK, fine, you can have the feather duster. Here. Happy?"
Taako, looking very Mary Poppins-esque with his magic umbrella and feather duster, nods, pleased with himself.
Magnus grips the cobblestone and climbs the forty feet up to surface level, Killian's crossbow on his back with his other weapons. The entire top of the well is gone, he notices when he finally reaches the top. The bucket, the rope, the little roof — it's all gone. When he looks around, everything else is gone too. Phandalin is just gone. When Magnus sets foot on the ground outside the well, he hears the same noise they heard in the vault back at Wave Echo Cave.
Dink. Dink.
The ground around the well, the ground for a full half-mile all around them, the entire town of Phandalin and everything in it, is one unbroken flat circle of opaque black glass. There are no buildings, no people, and no corpses. Everything evaporated completely under the intense heat of Gundren's explosion.
"Well," Magnus mutters as he looks around, "this all sucks."
He drops a rope from his belt back down into the well, and calls down: "Tie it around her before you climb up!"
Pulling Killian up out of the well is a group effort — she's a large orc woman, after all — but they manage it with only a little strain, and they lay her on the ground near the well. All around, there is nothing apart from that flat black glass — nothing except for one single, solitary charred-out blackened dwarven husk a short distance away at the very epicentre of the obsidian on the ground. Its right arm is in the air, and on that arm is the same silvery gauntlet, glinting ominously in the dusky twilight.
"There must be a way to contain it," Magnus muses as they all stare at the gauntlet. "She must have known about it, because she was specifically going to get that gauntlet. So the person we need right now is unconscious."
"Wait a minute," says Merle. "Can we take a minute to mourn Phandalin? A lot of people died here because of our misadventuring. The least we can do is give them a moment of silence."
"Sure," says Magnus. "Yeah, sure. We can do that."
They all fall silent for several moments more than one, and during that time, they don't catch each others' eyes. Merle, Taako, and Magnus hadn't known each other very well before they agreed to take on the job Gundren hired them for. They'd gone on adventures together before, but as professional colleagues, as travelling companions who got along oddly well and worked well as a team.
The destruction of Phandalin changed that. Phandalin became something they shared, something they didn't need to talk about in order to understand, something they all knew couldn't possibly have been avoided and yet still shouldn't have happened, something they all in various ways feel responsible for. Something they could put a brave, non-serious face on for the entire rest of the world, together. No matter what previous terrors they'd each survived, no matter how differently Phandalin affected each of them, it forged an instant and strong connection that wouldn't fade with time. A bond in loss, intimately familiar, turning a headstrong human warrior, a self-absorbed elven wizard, and an aging dwarven cleric into family.
The silence stretches, and the gauntlet glints. Whatever comes next, they face together.
"Listen," says Taako, as the three of them stand there staring at the gauntlet and no one dares move to approach it. "We know that touching the glove from the outside is really bad. It's not good. We know that putting the glove on is… probably really stupid."
"Can we cut off his arm?" asks Merle.
"It would probably just break off, but — is it safe?"
"Look, we've got two people interested in the gauntlet. One of them is now… dead. Let's wake up the other one and let her have it. I can heal her. It's kind of what I do."
"Hold on," says Magnus, "what if it's like the umbrella, and if the right person takes it, it's safe?"
They're all quiet for a moment.
"Well, OK, you twisted my arm," says Taako. "I think — that's magical, I'm magic, this is the sort of thing that I've trained for."
He walks, very slowly, towards the silvery gauntlet, paying careful attention to how he feels as he gets closer. It's almost, he thinks, like the glove is trying to take him over, like the glove wants him to come closer and put it on. Come put this dope glove on are the almost tangible words in Taako's mind. Taako acknowledges that temptation, then pushes it down where he can easily ignore it, as if he's had years of practice doing exactly that.
Still, the impulse gives him second thoughts.
"So listen," he says to the others behind him. "The glove really wants me to put it on. Can I get some group input on this thing?"
"I say you back up," Magnus immediately answers. "We've just seen it destroy a town, and people that were using it."
"I don't disagree! Here's my argument, though. It's obviously very dangerous. We can't leave it here."
Magnus kneels down to search Killian for anything she might have that would help contain a powerful, dangerous magical artifact. He pulls up her sleeve and sees a metal bracer on her arm with a strange symbol engraved into the metal, but it doesn't have a clasp or any obvious mechanism for taking it off.
Magnus points at it. "I think this is where she's getting her knowledge about this thing from. So one of us needs to get it off her and on ourselves."
"Why do you think she's learning stuff from that?" asks Taako, who barely sees the bracer from where he's standing closer to the gauntlet.
"Well, she knows about the gauntlet, but can't tell us about it."
"What does the symbol look like?"
"What do you mean, what does the symbol look like?"
"Describe it."
"Come here and just look at it."
"Why? This is more fun."
The symbol Magnus haltingly and grudgingly describes reminds Taako of research he's seen on magical messaging or signalling equipment. It doesn't discount Magnus's theory, but something tells Taako it's not nearly that sophisticated of an enchanted item.
The three adventurers aren't getting anywhere else without risking a whole lot of danger, so they agree to let Merle heal Killian and help her regain consciousness, but not before Magnus ties her hands together and her feet together. Just in case. Something tells Magnus that she's not going to be psyched about them taking all of her stuff.
Taako surreptitiously slips her magical feather duster back into her hand.
When Killian wakes up, it's initially slowly and blearily. When she sees her hands bound in front of her, that pace accelerates very quickly — she's instantly alert and looking around, preparing for a threat.
"Well," she says, and stops. Her gaze falls to the circle of black glass. "I guess we didn't save Phandalin, huh? Guess we did a bad job."
"Yeah, I would say so," Magnus snaps.
Killian sees her crossbow in Magnus's hands. "I'd like that back, please? In my hands? Would like my hands back too, if I could just use 'em…"
"I feel like we could probably have done more for Phandalin," Magnus says, "if we'd known what the fuck was going on before we got here."
"How many fucking times do I have to tell you!?" Killian snaps right back. "I literally can't tell you anything! I can't tell you any helpful information! I can't tell you. I can't tell you."
"I feel like you could have done a little more, though," Taako chimes in. Magnus and Merle both murmur in agreement. "Like, a little more. Like some context clues, or perhaps some charades."
"Maybe drop the hint that he was going to turn into a giant of fire," says Merle.
"Draw a picture," Taako agrees.
"OK, fine! Let's try this. You tell me when it gets… staticky. Cool?"
"OK."
"I… have to pick my words very carefully, I… am an employee… of… a… group… of… um. Concerned… people… how is it so far?"
"So far so good," Magnus tells her.
"Who… are working… to… ⛓⛓⛓⛓
"Yeah, there we go," says Magnus. "We got a crackle."
"Oh, god… who are working… to… make… the… whole land… safer. How's that?"
"That's clear," says Magnus, "except that's hard to buy, because the first time we met you, you sycced a giant grinder thing on us."
"I thought you were trying to stop…! My… my group of people, from doing a good thing!"
"Well, you're a little bit grind first, ask questions later!"
"Yeeeeah."
"Is your inability to talk to us related to your bracer?" Taako asks, pointing to her arm.
"Oh, this old thing? No."
"What is that old thing, then?" asks Merle.
"Yeah," nods Taako, "what's the bracer for?"
"Oh, god…"
"We're just asking," Merle says.
"Well, see, whenever you touch the thing on my bracer, it ⛓⛓⛓⛓ from the ⛓⛓⛓⛓
They all look at each other.
"I think you were faking that one," Taako decides.
"Kind of spit a little on that one," Merle agrees.
Killian rolls her eyes, sighs, and looks past them, which is when her gaze falls on the silvery gauntlet glinting on the dead Gundren Rockseeker's arm. Her entire body tenses at once.
"Wait a minute — how have none of you grabbed the gauntlet and put it on?"
"Oh," says Magnus, "we're super cool."
"We're really chill," Taako agrees, "and honestly, I was afraid. If we're just… putting it out there."
The offhand answer doesn't satisfy Killian even for a moment. "You mean its… its thrall didn't…? Didn't take you over?"
"No. I'm dumb. It wasn't even a thing for me. I was fine."
Killian stares at all three of them, momentarily completely lost for words. The expression on her face is similar to the one she wore when she saw that they had defeated Magic Brian — confusion and respect rolled into one.
"I…" she says, trying and failing to speak. "You guys… where — where did you come from?"
"Your mother," says Magnus. Taako and Merle don't bother trying to hide their sniggers anymore.
"That's a… pretty good burn," says Killian. The expression on her face doesn't change. "I would think you'd all be orcs, or at least of the same race, but…" She takes a very long breath and shuts her eyes. "OK," she says. "I'm going to let you guys in. I swear to the gods…"
"Don't make me cast my truth spell again," Merle warns her.
"No. No truth spell required. Nothing but open honesty, because I think… I think we could use people like you." She looks at the gauntlet. "If you've already escaped the thrall of that… thing, that I can't say the name of —"
"Let's just say glovey," Magnus suggests.
"Fine. If you've already escaped the thrall of Glovey, you can collect it. And we can take it somewhere where it will never do anything like this ever again. But you have to let me out of here."
The word collect barely leaves her mouth when Taako begins sprinting back towards the gauntlet. He grabs the glove off Gundren's arm, and it doesn't burn him.
"Don't put it on," Killian shouts, "don't put it on, do not put it on!"
Taako does not put the gauntlet on. Taako puts it in his bag instead.
"If we're buying in that much," says Merle, "we might as well let her go. Might as well free her."
Magnus undoes his overly complicated knots, freeing Killian's hands and feet.
"But don't give her the crossbow," Merle warns him.
"I want my crossbow, though, kind of," says Killian.
"Tough."
"I like it a lot."
"Tough."
"Look at the handle on it, see my engraving?"
"We don't trust you," Merle reminds her bluntly.
"Have you named it?" asks Magnus.
"Yeah, it's called, uh — Billups."
Magnus takes the bolts, and hands Killian her crossbow back.
Killian looks from her crossbow to the bolts in Magnus's hand, then shrugs. "OK," she says. "That's fair. I'm not going to need it. We're regrouping right now. So let's get this show on the road!" Killian stands up, dusts herself off, and looks at Merle. "Thanks for the healing. I guess it's kind of the least you can do, since the three of you landed on me, and —"
"It was a tiny well!" Magnus objects.
"It was your fault!" Merle adds.
"Well, that's debatable. There'll be time for blame later. Right now, we need to get somewhere where the ground's not as hard."
"Or glassy?"
"Or glassy, yeah."
"Or full of dead people that we failed to save?" Magnus offers, a weak attempt at a lighthearted joke.
Killian walks to the edge of the glass circle, her boots slipping a little on the terrain. She points her arm at a spot about 200 yards away from the black glass and presses the symbol on her bracer. The rune flashes yellow intermittently.
"Just waiting for approval here," Killian murmurs.
The rune turns a solid blue.
"And now we just wait. Shouldn't take too long." She hesitates. "What are your names again?"
"Merle Highchurch."
"I'm Taako."
"I'm Magnus Burnsides."
"Seriously, how did you guys — where did you guys come from? You've done some pretty impossible feats."
"I'm from Raven's Roost," says Magnus thoughtfully. "Born the son of a carpenter —"
"We have about thirty seconds, Magnus."
"Oh, then never mind."
"We were in prison together," says Merle.
Killian stares at him. "Wait, seriously?"
"Now hold on," says Magnus. "I've never been to prison in my life."
"We were fighting the Man."
"The man?"
"Yeah. The Man. You know? The Man."
Magnus thinks for a moment. "Charles?"
"About five more seconds," says Killian.
"What's your deal?" asks Magnus.
"My deal is —"
BWSSSH.
A sound thunders down from above. One of the clouds in the sky bursts apart, and a shape flies down to land on the grass right where Killian pointed when she activated her bracer. She beckons the others and starts walking towards it.
The shape, it turns out, is a large glass sphere, easily big enough to fit all four of them inside it. It has solid metal trimming all around it, and there are four chairs inside. Killian taps on the glass and an aperture opens that she climbs through so she can strap herself into one of the chairs.
"It's really lucky that there's not just three chairs," Magnus remarks. "Or sixteen chairs. Very fitting."
Killian raises her brow at him. "It's best if you don't think about it."
"OK."
"We've got a med kit in here," she goes on, "if you want to stitch yourself up, and I can put on some tea. It's not great tea, but… hop in. Come on."
"OK."
Magnus hops in and takes the seat next to Killian in front. Taako doesn't move, and, in fact, hasn't said very much for a while now, so Merle puts a hand on Taako's arm. "It'll be alright," he says. "Come on."
"I'm — I'm scared."
"Let's get on the big, glass ball. It'll be fun."
"Don't have to tell me twice." Taako pauses right outside the entrance and examines the outside of the glass ball very closely. He recognises the enchantment built into the very top of the glass ball as a compression enchantment, but he's never seen any other part of the apparatus before.
"OK guys," says Taako, "here's what we're dealing with. It's some sort of compression magic —"
"Taako," Magnus interrupts. "We're all already inside the ball. You're the only one left outside."
"What we've got here is your standard-order compression ball, sporting compression magic —"
"I'll give you some chocolate if you sit down," Merle entices Taako.
"Oh, alright, I'll sit down."
Killian shuts the door once they're all strapped in, taps her bracer a few times, and a giant hot-air balloon rises out of the very top of the ball. Before they know it, they're off, rising steadily into the night sky and towards the two glowing moons high above.
The remains of Phandalin lie spread out below them, a grisly reminder of how terrifyingly powerful the gauntlet in Taako's bag is. The black glass on the ground forms a mirror for the night sky above, eerily beautiful. As they rise higher, they can see a group of lights in the distance — the capital of Neverwinter. They can see the Sword Mountains, sharp and proud. They pass through a thin cloud layer overhead and then it's just them, the night sky, and the hot air balloon above them.
Killian smiles. "You guys are gonna love what happens next."
One of the two moons in the night sky suddenly looms much larger than any of them thought it would. The glass ball they're in hasn't even broken the stratosphere, and yet this particular moon seems almost close enough for them to reach out and touch, impossibly large and impossibly impossible, hanging in the air ahead of them.
"Guys," says Taako, "the moon's expanding."
Merle squints between the seats. "That's no moon."
A portcullis slides open in the moon's surface, like a massive porthole. The glass ball flies smoothly through the gap and right into the moon itself, and they find themselves surrounded by inky blackness.
"Well guys," says Killian, sounding pleased and maybe even a little smug. "Hold onto your butts."
The three of them immediately grip their butts, and the glass ball comes to a halt.