Chapter Text
Late-November
„They say dreams come true. But here we are. Two hopeless romantics who couldn’t be eachothers’. I miss you, Jongin.”
Mid-July
„Hyung, we should fly across the Atlantics, or dig a hole deep enough to hide you from the world like a precious treasure everybody dreams to find. We should elope from the world so cruel to you, escape you to the Neverland that still lives in your mind.”
„The real world doesn’t work like that, Jonginie. I am responsible for my deeds and need to be punished. I don’t want to run and hide anymore from the pain that vitalizes my humanity.”
„Then for me, hyung. Escape for me. With me. Let’s play and laugh together until we collapse and our sides hurt. Every kiss could be our first.”
„Or our last. Your narrow-mindedness makes my heart ache and suffocate my lungs. You are too stubborn to stay with me in the world of the real.”
„What is the true real, hyung? The everyday suffering and the timeless fear of passing away from the side of your loved ones, leaving every living and still feature of this life behind? Not being able to return, to lay under the starry night sky again, to hug eachother whenever to cold comes around?”
„You tragically missed my point, Jongin. You can’t live in an ageless denial, you have to grow, to live and experience, didn’t you ever play with the thought of a family? To grow old together with me, to travel outside Neverland? To feel the joy, you have to touch the mournfulness too. Sunshine all the time makes a desert, and no flower could bloom between the boiling dunes of sand.”
„If you want to taste the sake of gloom, hyung, go on, but I am not willing to assist in such self-harming tendency. I want to see you happy and smiling while holding hands wandering on the coast of sirens, sitting on a blanket in the treehouse, or just listening to the boys around the campfire telling their adventure of the day. I only want to help ease your torment.”
„My biggest torment is your unwillingness to stay by my side even in throe. I wish you not some place of stuck giggles and childlish immaturity.”
„I am willing to stay by your side, til eternity, hyung.”
„I am more than blissful to hear that.”
Late-December
„Without him every moment passes by like a heavy, grieving and pouring rain. My soul is tearing apart night by night and the blurry memory won’t leave me rest in peace. He was my one and only pillar that kept me breathing even underwater, he cared about me so deeply the oceans could not compete, he was all the flowers in the meadows of my funereal life, ever blooming buttercup, crown braided from heavily fragnanced dandelions, butterfly following the riverside. He was my everything, every skyscraper reaching towards the sky, every melody my mother used to sing. And I succesfully pushed him aside, violently putting my selfish intentions before the very purpose of our happiness. The only thought keeping me in the world of real is that he may not wants to ever say a word to me in his honeyed, soft voice. Neverland is for lost boys like me, because from the beginning I was misled, but someone showed me a path, saying, you can walk the paved road if that is comfortable but there will no flower bloom, the rarest flowers bloom in the darkest spots of the forest.”
Early-October
„Don’t give up just now, hyung. Come with me to the land where laughter never ends, where happiness leads the way. Come with me, follow me, hyung.”
„Til where should I follow you? Til the point of no return? Open your dreamy eyes, Jongin. You are blinded by the light that is chased by the darkness of your empty heart.”
„Yes hyung, I might and I should be blinded, but the sorrow that surrounds me and empties my heart is my love that will never be reciprocated by you.”
„I loved you and still do until the day the sun is not going to rise, until the night the full moon is going to digest to the Earth. Your own selfishness is your worst enemy, Jongin.”
„Falsehood and hoax is all that comes out of the mouth of yours, hyung. You never really beloved me.”
„My fondness for you is just as neverending as your doubts towards my feelings. From now on, never dare to call me even hyung if you don’t believe my words.”
„It was a pleasure, Do Kyungsoo.”
Mid-October
„And that day, my sun indeed didn’t rise and his full moon digested my Earth. The only light in my life became the memory of the sparkles in his eyes the day we had met.”
Late-April
“Junmyeon-hyung don't stop please, I was just getting into it.”
“The next page awaits and will reveal itself tomorrow, Kyungsoo-ah. Don't tell me, such made up stories make you smile?”
“What could save the culprit, when even the blind could see how much joy you convey through your bedtime stories about the elusive play of never and forever. You make my insomnia seem like an all my eye.”
“The only happiness I give is the one you gave me. Now you better sleep, or else the night will capture its prey in yourself.”
“Wait hyung, will you open my window?”
“Shall I? If the cherry blossoms flood your sheet-”
“No cherry blossom flies through the night to my bed. However I hope Sehunie won't get a nasty cold. It suprises me to the core he fell asleep in the middle of the tale.”
“Sometimes people only appreciate miracle and fable when it happens right before their eyes, fictional can only amaze the ones whom the reality disappoints.”
“Goodnight hyung, see you when the morning sun shines.”
“Goodnight Kyungsoo-ah.”
Early-May
“May I disturb your return to the land of dreams?”
“Who let you in? Who could have lit the sun this deep into the night?”
“The sun always shines, she lets you sleep, that's how enormously she cares for her children.”
“Shall I ask else? Who is the one to dare to fight against the godly will to rest? You shine as much as the burning orb, may you be an equal opponent.”
“Compliment me as much as you wish, but I'm here on a quest, haven't you seen my shadow, Kyungsoo-hyung? He's long gone, me without a shadow, just like you without dreams, unacceptable state..”
“How come you know my name, but I cannot call you anything else then a ray of sunshine?”
“Call me by your name, call me maybe, call me what your heart desires.”
“Can I call you every time when the sleep won't stay with me to spend the night?”
“After I find the shadow of mine, I'm all yours, and you are all mine. There's only one question my mind can't comprehend and let the solution come to me.”
“I will answer to your silhouette, one more reason to find him.”
“Please reply, why the mind of yours is so calm? Why doesn't a stranger's presence bother you in the middle of the dark?”
“There's no dark, you and your companion shine bright.”
“Answer me.”
“Familiarly strange is your existence, haven't we met before? Haven't I seen your face before? Heard your voice before? Have I? Why do you seem home to me in this dull world? After you answer me, I will do too.”
“I would spend all my nightfall listening to your hyung's stories which he tells you so wholeheartedly, I can feel Neverland even when I'm here.”
“I know you now, you uncovered your mysterious ways. Kim Jongin, the leader of the Lost Boys, loyal ally with the infamous Tinkerbell, enemies with Captain Hook till the death will keep you apart. Junmyeon told many adventuresome quests of yours.”
“For your service, hyung.”
“Brave the heart you have.”
“And young the soul you have. May I ask where your younger brother is, why your room is as empty as the South-East coast in Neverland?”
“He found peace in Junmyeon's arms, it's your lucky day, if you had woken him up, you would not have woken up tomorrow morning.”
“Funny of you to assume I haven't followed my silhouette before into your shared bedroom.”
“Kyungsoo hyung, are you awoken? I heard your voice across the hallway, did you have another dark nightmare you could not escape from?”
“It's Sehun, my dear, you shall go..”
“Hyung, can I open the door? Can I lessen the pain?”
“Farewell, Do Kyungsoo, see you the day after tomorrow this time.”
“Take care, Kim Jongin, courageous adventures shall not put you in great danger.”