Chapter Text
Taehyung has gone for a black suit. Underneath, his shirt is blue, patterned on the collar. He’s just too cold, the air doesn’t feel quite right around him, stifling and heavy, like its trying to weigh him down, and his nerves are making it hard for him to concentrate. He can’t stop fiddling, his hands changing their position every few moments, touching his belt or trying to relax in his pockets, scratching his hair absentmindedly or pulling on his blazer. Tonight was the big night and he was feeling the anxious anticipation all too much.
He’s backstage, there for moral support, but also because he just can’t bring himself to sit in the audience for the show. He’d rather be with his cast, seeing the show from the sidelines instead, in a position where he can give his team encouragement when they need it but also because a part of him just feels too scared to be so out in the open again. So exposed.
He’s alone. He hates being alone. And he’s too cold.
He lifts his phone up to check the time again. He has a watch on his wrist but his nerves are forcing his fingers to move on their own accord, telling him that they need to stay busy. He doesn’t even glance at the numbers on his lock screen though before putting the phone away and then having to pull it out to check again. He’s so distracted he can’t even check the time right, and he sighs at his ridiculousness. It was seven p.m and the show would be starting in half an hour. Opening night. It was finally here. He takes more deep breaths and shakes his head, his body, tries to loosen up as he scrunches his eyes tight and forces the air out of his mouth.
He feels himself slowly calm before a ding goes off in his pocket and he realises he has a text. He pulls the device back to his face and when he sees Jimin's name he relaxes again.
We just got our seats
Taehyung moves to the wing to peek through the curtain in an attempt to try and spot his friends. He’s ensured the best seats in the house, adjacent to the centre stage, easy to find and perfect to see the entire performance. It doesn’t take long until he sees Jimin's blonde hair, shrugging off his jacket, Jin and Namjoon trying to manoeuvre their way over to him through the crowds of people, being extra careful not to step on any of the other audience members as they do so. Yoongi and Hoseok are already sitting down, the latter scanning the playbill as his fiancé watches him with a smile on his lips. Taehyung's heart calms when he sees them- his family all here for his big day. It means the world to him that they’ve come and he wants to smile, wants to feel happy, but there’s just one thing missing.
One chair stays empty, completely vacant. No one has filled it yet.
Jungkook wasn’t there.
He swallows and hopes that maybe the younger is just late, perhaps he’s still in the lobby buying snacks which wouldn’t surprise him, or maybe he’s in line at the bathroom, his nerves often making him have a weak bladder. Taehyung can hope and hope but deep down he doesn’t feel confident. Deep in his stomach something tells him he won’t be seeing the one person he really wants to see tonight.
“Taehyungsshi?” He turns around hearing the sound of his name. There's a stage hand behind him, black ear piece attached over his head and simple black clothing. “there’s a gift for you in the dressing rooms.”
He quirks an eyebrow. A gift? Waiting for him? He follows the worker through the backstage passages until he gets to the ensemble dressing rooms where the cast are receiving their final make up touches. A small crowd has formed around one area in particular, and he cranes his head over the bodies to see what they’re staring at. When people realise that’s he's arrived, they begin to disperse slowly and it only takes a few seconds for him to realise what’s waiting on the table. When he sees it, he gasps.
The boys had all sent him congratulatory gifts, but those had been sent to his home and so instantly he knows that these weren’t from any of them. What sits on the table before him was a beautiful, large bouquet of purple roses, so many filling a crystal like vase, wrapped in a pink tissue and tied with a bow. They were stunning and he bites his lip as he approaches them almost nervously. He takes one of the petals between his fingertip and strokes the velvety softness of the flower carefully as he scans over the full bouquet in awe.
“Did they come with a card?” He asks, his eyes not leaving the flowers as he speaks.
One of the closer ensemble members pulls one out front the back of the bouquet and he thanks her as he takes it in his hold, in-taking a breathe and holding it for a second in an attempt to regulate his beating heart. Could they be...? Were they from..?
He turns the card over and opens the envelope, a shake in his fingertips as he chews his lip nervously. He’s hoping that they’re from Jungkook, he really desperately wants them to be from him, because then it’s at least an acknowledgement from the younger about the evening, and he would take that. He could take that.
Somewhere in the distance the sound of the fifteen minute bell goes off in the room and those waiting to see who delivered the flowers have to go back to their stations, get their wigs on and microphones checked one final time before the show begins. Taehyung appreciates the privacy though and he turns the card around to read what’s written on the back, desperate to see his name, just his name....
When it comes up blank, other than the words congratulations, he falters slightly. That wasn’t necessarily what he was expecting and he clears his throat and tucks the card in his blazer pocket. They could still be from Jungkook- he could still hope they were.
He looks back at the flowers and tries his hardest to believe that hopefully Jungkook is out there somewhere, the only way he can get through the night is if he tells himself he is.
Soon enough places get called, and the casts are shuffling backstage to get into position. He wants to check one last time to see if Jungkook had taken his seat amongst the friends but he knows he can’t look now, not when curtain is only moments away from opening, so he stays in the wings and wishes each of his cast members a sincere good luck before they head out, receiving a huge hug from Bogum in return. It's weird for him now in this position, being backstage at a huge, grand theatre, one he’s always hoped to hold one of his shows- and yet it feels just like when he would write plays in college and have them put on for crowds of five or six people. Jungkook had always been one of them.
He tries not to think about the younger as the scenes of the first act carry on, the story line he spent so much of his life writing now being performed in its utmost glory. He hears the crowds laugh when they’re supposed to, gasp when it’s required and he thinks that maybe he really has done himself proud. Hopefully the show really will do well.
Cast members come off stage when they aren’t needed and he gives them soft words of encouragement, little pointers if they need them and hands them bottles of water. Even if he tries to stay still, the adrenaline pulsing throughout doesn't allow it, and he’s just glad he can do something to keep him distracted.
Eventually the final scene of act one arrives and the curtains close, people clap and cheer as the lights come back on and he breathes a large heavy breathe. One act was down, there’s just one more to go.
He gets his phone back out from his pocket and sees that Jimin has already sent him a train of texts, probably from the second the curtain had fallen he had instantly pulled out the device, and Taehyung smiles at the messages telling him that the show was even better that its last engagement, that everyone is loving it and Hoseok has already cried from the first act. Taehyung is grateful and he goes back to the side stage to peer his head out again and look at them. This time only Jin, Yoongi and Jimin are still seated, chatting to each other happily. He wonders if maybe Jungkook is somewhere with the other two and almost texts Jimin to ask if he did come, if he was there for him. When Namjoon arrives and then Hoseok follows a few seconds later, his hope dies again.
His phone then buzzes and he checks it once more, this time Minho's name flashing across his screen. They’d spoken a few more times since that night but hadn’t met up again. Still, Taehyung had felt like he’d gotten a nice friend out of the elder and his message was welcomed. He opens his chat to see what the other has said:
Hey Tae, I just wanted to say good luck for tonight- I would have text earlier but my meeting ran late, I hope you got my flowers though! I can’t wait to come see the show, I managed to get tickets for next week and I’m even bringing a date! Let’s meet soon, fighting!
Taehyung's heart drops in his chest. Of course he’s thankful Minho had taken the time out to message and send him flowers. But flowers from Minho meant nothing from Jungkook, which just confirmed his worst fears. Jungkook wasn’t there, Jungkook didn’t come.
He bites his bottom lip as he stumbles to the nearest back stage bathroom he can find, and tries not to let the tears escape him but it’s almost impossible. Overhead the cast are being told to get back into position and he knows he should be there to give them another good send off for the second act, but he can’t. He just can’t do it. His anxiety seems to grow, his chest beating fast and he rushes to a sink, splashes a bit of water on his face and tries to breathe. All too quickly everything dawns on him. He has a show on the TD. Its opening night. Tomorrow review after review will be released and he’ll receive his first big critique as a writer. But he’s alone. Jungkook isn’t here. His lucky charm, his best friend, the boy he loves... hasn’t come.
He fucked up so bad. He ruined everything, blew his chance and now Jungkook doesn’t want him anymore, Jungkook has realised that Taehyung doesn’t deserve him, that he played with his feelings for too long and a stupid script couldn’t make up for that. he caused this and he couldn’t fix it. He couldn’t just hit backspace, rewrite the scene, create his perfect happy ending. The world didn’t happen like that, they weren’t just a show that could be put on stage. Things don’t always go to plan. He looks up at himself in the mirror and he hates whose staring back. Suddenly he doesn’t want the second act to go on. He just wants the show to be over with, he wants to get in bed with snacks and his pyjamas and sleep and cry and pretend like his world doesn’t exist. Pretend like he hasn’t made stupid mistakes.
After another couple of moments, another stage hand walks in to the bathroom. Before they have a chance to question whether he’s okay, he gives them a fake reassuring smile. Regardless of the way his arms are clutching the sink so desperately and the fact he seems to be in clear distress, he tells the younger boy that it’s first show nerves and the worker nods in understanding. When he heads into a cubicle Taehyung breathes out again and then heads back out to the show. He mutters to himself that he needs to pull himself together, that this is the night he’s been waiting for for so long and regardless as to how it’s turned out, he’s done it. He’s gotten his dream. Things weren’t how he pictured them but he had to be mature enough to get through the evening- at least until the end of the performance. That gut wrenching longing feeling in his stomach for the other boy had to be ignored. He couldn’t let it over take him now.
And he tries his hardest. He moves back to the side stage and watches his show, tries to focus on the dialogue that he’d written, the stage directions he’s created, tries to laugh along or react to the parts that require reaction. He’s almost forcing himself if that means it’ll make the rest of the night easier. His smile is a feeble attempt to seem invested, even though it doesn’t reach his eyes, and the checks he’s making in his head about the marks his actors need to hit are nothing but excuses to focus on- in fact they’re all doing fantastic.
Eventually the penultimate scene is being performed and he knows the ending is nearing. He knows that soon he’ll have to escape this theatre bubble and go back to thinking about Jungkook; why he didn’t come, if he hated his script that much, if he didn’t love him back like he thought. All these things that shouldn’t be in his head, but are.
Bogum walks back on to the stage from the other side and its the end, now the show is really finishing up and he watches intently, tries his best to hear his final lines being delivered for the first time in the large theatre. He shuts his eyes right as the words are delivered. He’s almost breathless when the lights go off, focused but unfocused, present but somewhere else. He tries to process the finale, but before he can the lights are coming back on, the cast are going out to take their bows and people are clapping. There’s a thunder of applause, some others hollering and he feels his heart ricochet in his chest. The claps aren’t stopping and they’re getting louder, people sound impressed, happy, he’s done it. He’s done it.
He opens his eyes again and peaks around the side curtain. Everyone is on their feet staring at the stage. The two lead actors are taking their bows, the last of the cast, and Taehyung feels overwhelmed. Suddenly an ensemble member is running out to him and his eyes widen as they pull him onto the stage with the rest of the actors. The crowd roars louder as he’s pulled to the front and another bouquet is placed in his hand. The cast on stage clap for him too and he bows embarrassed, not expecting the attention. He knew this often happened on opening nights but he hadn’t been told, he wasn’t prepared and he feels shy. When he looks up at the crowd the first thing he does is search for his friends, the people who he knows can help calm his heart. He sees them quickly, Jimin and Hoseok in tears, Jin looking as though he’s holding them back as Namjoon has one arm around his husband and the other brought up to his mouth to holler. Yoongi on the other side has a smile so wide, so proud, that Taehyung especially sees and tries not to hide his face in more embarrassment. They were there for him and he was so thankful to see them all. But he couldn’t help but settle his eyes on the one space that he knows he shouldn’t be focusing on. The empty seat right in between all the friends. The one reserved for him. He swallows and chews his lip, his eyes unable to look away from the red velvet chair. All the claps and the praise then suddenly didn’t feel worth it. Didn’t feel real. His mind almost blinks as he pictures what Jungkook would have looked like there, supporting him. A tear falls from his eye before he even realises and it isn’t until it touches his lip that he wipes it away. He feels ridiculous crying in front of thousands of people but it’s as though the first tear has unleashed something in him and suddenly he can’t stop crying, can’t prevent the streams from falling from his eyes.
The tears should be happy, they were supposed to be happy. But even here, on stage being adored by many, he feels alone. So so very alone.
He wanted Jungkook. He only wants Jungkook.
Eventually the cast filter off the stage and he follows blindly, neither his heart or mind in it any more. People are talking to him and giving their congrats, but he can barely respond to them, fake smiles and polite nods being delivered in response instead of actual words. He places his flowers from the stage down with the ones from Minho and in takes a big breathe as he tries to come to terms with the end of everything. The show and his relationship. He knows he’s supposed to be happy but he can’t be, there’s just no way for it when he feels like his heart is broken.
It isn’t until he feels a pair of arms wrap around his waist that he even remembers what’s actually happening and he turns around to the sight of his friends all backstage to see him. It’s Jimin who has given him a back-hug and now that they are face to face, the shorter male embraces him once more as the others all fight to give him some affection too. After more hugs, kisses and supportive claps on the back Jimin takes his hand and smiles at him.
“Tae, you did it! You really did it. The show was fantastic!” Taehyung smiles but it’s small and Jimin notices instantly that he isn’t himself. “How are you feeling?” He tries again, “you must be on cloud nine right now?”
Taehyung nods again, another fake smile and this time Jimin falters. Taehyung's eyes are on the floor as the friends around him look at each other in concern. He’d just fulfilled his life long dream, this wasn’t how he was supposed to be acting.
“Tae, let us take you out. Dinner on me and Joon as a celebration. To show how proud we are of you?” Jin asks next, trying to raise the others spirit. He knows how much Taehyung loves family meals and he thinks it could do the trick, but the boy just shakes his head timidly.
“Maybe another time. I’m tired,” he says, “I was working all day and the stress of it all....”
“You can all comeback to ours?” Yoongi says next, “pyjama party and snacks? Your favourite?” He tries again. For Yoongi to offer such an evening, his friends must really be worried about him. He knows he’s being bad for refusing, but he really just doesn’t feel like he can manage it. Not all six of them together, not without him. They should be all together.
“Tae,” It’s Jimin again. He doesn’t look up to meet his eye-line and because he doesn’t, Jimin squeezes his hands tighter. “Tae,” He says again.
This time he looks up, gives his friend the attention he deserves.
“Is this because of-?"
“Guys thank you all for coming,” Taehyung says, cutting Jimin off. He doesn’t want to hear his name. “Really thank you. It means the world to me that your all here.” He delivers another short smile. “I’m so grateful for you all, honestly I couldn’t have done this without you.”
The boys all give him heartwarming stares and he feels tears rising again, this time over how much he loves his brothers- his family.
“I promise I’m fine,” he adds then, “I’m just... it’s been an overwhelming day and I’m tired. I’m.. I’ll be okay... I think I just need to process what’s happened tonight.”
He says the words as though he’s talking about processing the show. It’s half true and the boys know he also means something else. Jungkook not showing up.
“We can maybe do something this weekend. Or after the press reviews come out. When I’m a little less....” he isn’t sure what’s the right words so his voice trails off. A little less sad? Heartbroken? Pathetic?
“But really thank you. I love you all so much.”
The fall into a group hug, all embracing each other with so much love. This time when they pull away Yoongi wipes his eyes nonchalantly and it makes Hoseok giggle, pecking him on the cheek but not raising awareness to the fact he’s crying.
“We’re so proud of you Tae,” Namjoon says then, placing a hand on his shoulder. The others nod, and there’s so much sincerity in the dressing room now, Taehyung realising that they’re the last people in there.
“Can we at least drop you home?” Jin asks but Taehyung is already shaking his head.
“No no its fine. I need to collect some things and say goodbye to some people so I’ll be here a little longer.” It’s a complete lie but he felt silly telling them all what he was really planning on doing.
Luckily no one questions him and they nod their heads in understanding, giving him one last hug and kiss before they too leave the backstage area to head back to their homes. He then turns back to his table where his flowers lay and heaves a heavy sigh. The sound of the theatre had substantially diminished which meant it was almost empty and how he wanted it. He waits then until he hears no more noise and turns back towards the wings of the stage.
There was one last thing he had to do.
He’d always sworn that when he finally gets a show on a large theatre stage he would wait until the very end, when the theatre was empty, after the opening night and just let himself embrace what he’d managed to achieve.
He takes another deep breathe and then lets himself walk back out into the theatre, back on the centre stage where his vision was made possible. He tries not to let himself get too overwhelmed, but it’s hard. It’s hard when he thinks about the fact all his hard work has paid off. That the one thing his heart had been set on has finally come true. That he'd done what at one point he thought might have been impossible. He looks out at the stands, the dress circle, up at the outer circle. He looks at the booths along the sides of the stage, the red rows of chairs and the intricate detailing of the balcony. This place was now his. He didn’t know how long the show would last, shows get extended all the time but that wouldn’t be discussed for a while. But right now he can’t think about that, he can’t care. He’s gotten this and he needed to be happy about it. He had to be.
He shuts his eyes and lets another large breath enter his lungs. Lets himself linger in the moment, feel it within him. An empty theatre feels strangely welcoming and a small smile settles on his lip.
“Wow...”
His eyes snap open, his head falls back down in line. He thought he was alone and he swallows hard. He feels embarrassed that someone has caught him, someone has seen him at this moment. He turns around to the area where the voice had come from ready to apologise but his voice gets stuck in his throat when he sees whose waiting for him at the side of the stage. Whose there.
“You used to always say one day you’d stand on the stage at the end of your first debut show opening.”
Jungkook.
Taehyung swallows and turns himself in the direction of the boy. His body suddenly feels heavy, panicked and another type of overwhelmed. He was here, he was really here...
“How did you-?" he tries to say but his voice comes out scratched, foreign even to him.
“I knew you would have waited,” Jungkook replies and then he takes a step forward. Taehyung's breath hitches at the action and feels himself still. Was this happening? Was this actually happening?
Suddenly then his voice turns soft, laced with affection, sincerity, almost like he wants to cry. “The show was amazing Taehyung.”
Taehyung's mouth opens in confusion and he feels his throat go dry. The show? “Y-you saw..?”
The younger smiles, very quickly, small and then nods his head.
“You weren’t with-" Taehyung tries again. He can’t even finish a sentence he’s so surprised at what he’s seeing, what he’s hearing.
Jungkook takes another step. “I almost didn’t make it...I almost didn't come. But I did. I sat in the back, I didn’t have time to get to my seat so I watched from the back.”
Taehyung bites his lip, his eyes filling with tears and he shakes his leg to try to stop them from coming, but he can’t. He isn’t able to.
“You came?” He voice cracks, full of emotion, relief, realisation. A tear falls, followed by another.
“I’m here,” Jungkook replies, his voice a whisper, betraying him, exposing his feelings.
A sob leaves Taehyung's throat and Jungkook doesn’t even think twice before he’s right beside him, taking him in his arms.
“Jungkook you-" the tears are still coming and Jungkook shushes him, strokes a hand down his head as Taehyung buries himself in his chest. All he can feel is Jungkook. Jungkook is there. His presence, his smell, his aura. It was him. It was actually him.
“I thought you wouldn’t... I thought you didn’t...”
He looks up at Jungkook and the boy is wiping away his own tears now, trying to hold it together for the two of them, but struggling.
“How could I miss this?” He says, voice so light and genuine, “I’m so proud of you baby, I’m so so proud.”
At the term of endearment, Taehyung's heart jumps in his chest and he meets Jungkook’s eyes. The younger is staring at him with such affection but before he can mirror the feeling back, his own stare is questioning, yet hopeful. Baby? He blinks and swallows and then Jungkook places a hand under his chin and lifts his face so that they’re equal.
“Thank you,” he says, “Taehyung thank you so much.” Another tear falls from his eye and Taehyung this time lifts his own hand to wipe it away.
“Why are you thanking me?” He replies, still unsure, still cautious, still trying to comprehend what’s happening and what could happen. Jungkook’s eyes shut from the contact of Taehyung’s hands on his cheek and he leans into the feeling, letting out a small exhale as he does so.
“The script,” he says, “the words, your words.”
Taehyung grows embarrassed, his cheeks reddening. He had wanted to know for so long if Jungkook had read what he had written him but now at the admittance, he feels bashful and exposed. He’d poured his heart into those memories, the retelling of their life, and now he knows that Jungkook has heard his true feelings. He’s laid out completely bare for the other.
“At first I wasn’t sure I wanted to read it. I didn’t know what it would say and I was still so mad at myself...”
“At yourself?”
Jungkook looks away, swallowing nervously. “I was unfair to you, I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did, I shouldn’t have...”
Taehyung lifts his other hand to Jungkook’s other cheek and holds his face in his hands. “Jungkook you did nothing wrong. I deserved it, I was stupid and jealous and blind and I... you had every right to be fed up with me, I was fed up with me. Jungkook you aren’t to blame in any of this.”
“Tae, I could never be fed up with you,” he shakes his head feeling guilty, “I was just upset that after all these years you still couldn’t see. You still didn’t realise.”
“I was stupid-"
“We both were. We were both too stubborn, too cowardly to just say how we felt.” Jungkook sighs. "But in your script... Tae you brought up memories I didn't even remember until I read them again. You remembered things about me from years ago that were so small and yet with so much detail. For the longest time I used to wonder what you were thinking, how you were feeling... if there was any possibility you felt the same about me..."
"I wanted to be honest for once. To myself... to you..."
"Tae it was beautiful."
Another shaky breathe leaves Taehyung and Jungkook notices it and smiles softly.
“My Taehyungie,” he whispers, so softly, so affectionately, a mutter under his breath that comes out before he can even really process saying it. It’s so quiet he thinks maybe Taehyung doesn't even hear it, almost hopes he hasn't because he feels too embarrassed about saying it so vocally. Saying something he’s only ever thought in the past.
“Yours?” Taehyung replies, hopeful toned with a small smirk on his face, meeting Jungkook’s eyes again.
The younger swallows nervously but his eyes are unwavering. “If you want to be?” he replies, allowing his voice to be as confident as possible even though Taehyung can feel the shake in his touch. He was still so nervous, still so shy, and he had no reason to be.
Taehyung nods his head, allowing his smile to grow. “yes yes I... Jungkook I love you. I’m so in love with you,” another tear falls from his eyes saying the words out loud, making them real and confirming their meaning. He wasn’t afraid anymore, in fact he feels like he could say it one hundred times more, shout it from the rooftops of the theatre, for the whole world to hear.
When he looks at Jungkook the younger has started to cry again too, the emotions so welled up inside him. After taking a short breath he gives Taehyung a very soft, very real look. “Kim Taehyung i've been in love with you for nine years-"
“Kookie, you don’t have to-"
“No. No, Tae let me say what I should have said all those years ago.”
Taehyung takes the others hands and silences, allows Jungkook this chance.
“Kim Taehyung I have been in love with you for nine years. Nine long, stressful, tough, but wonderful, unbelievable, amazing years.” Taehyung giggles shyly, looking down for a second before their eyes settle on one another again. “For as long as I can remember, you’ve been the first thought in my mind in the morning and the last one at night. You’ve been through every single monumental moment in my life and I can’t imagine taking any further steps in the future without you by my side. Over the years I’ve only grown more and more fond of you, have only wanted to hear that laugh more, see that smile every day, have you by my side. You’re the only one for me Tae, you’ll always be the only one for me. No matter how long it took, no matter how many ridiculous dates we went on with other people.” They both laugh through there tears this time, before Jungkook straightens up again. “Taehyung it's you. It will always be you.”
Taehyung lets the tears fall on his cheeks as the smile on his lips grows wider. Jungkook’s words ring through him and he feels awakened by them, alive, real. Like Jungkook’s love was the one thing he needed and now that he had it, he was unstoppable. “Kiss me,” he says though his tears, his smile, and he doesn’t even give Jungkook a chance to answer before he’s pulling him by the neck and joining their lips together.
Jungkook has imagined countless times, what his first kiss with Taehyung would be like. Where they would be, who would kiss who, how it would happen, how long it would last. It used to be his final thought before sleep at night, the dream he kept hidden but wished for forever- the things he wanted more than anything else in the world.
But his imagination and his dreams, his thoughts and his ideas had nothing on this moment right now.
Taehyung’s mouth was soft, gentle, the perfect shape to fit against his, his pump lips so smooth against his own, so supple. He started lightly but then pushed himself further into the younger, opening their mouths together but without rush, as though allowing himself to experience every single part of Jungkook so expertly, so carefully, to savour the moment. He links his hands behind Jungkook’s neck as he moves himself so close that their bodies are pressing, and Jungkook’s hands go round his waist, holding him in place, gaining a little bit of power, keeping Taehyung how he wants him. When he then moves his tongue beyond the others lips, Taehyung whimpers and he feels the sound transcend through his body. From that moment on-wards there’s no stopping them as the kiss picks up on passion, feeling and fire, reaching every single nerve ending in their body, sending their minds and hearts spiralling. It was the perfect first kiss, a kiss between two people destined to do this. A kiss that sealed their fate, their future.
“Jungkookie,” Taehyung says as they pull away, faces stained with tears but two looks of utter bliss in their eyes. Nine years without doing that? What had they been thinking? “I love you so much Jungkook, I always have.”
Jungkook blushes at the words, a choked giggle leaving from the back of his throat, whilst his cheeks are still wet with tears.
“Me too Tae, always.”
The elders face falls slightly, getting ahead of himself, still having so much he needs to say. “No I just, it’s so dumb,” Taehyung says looking down at the floor, “I’m a writer but right now it’s like no words are enough. I can’t find the right words to tell you just how much you mean to me.”
Jungkook takes Taehyung’s cheek in his hand, lifting the elders face gently. “There’s nothing you need to say Tae, your script, it said it all.”
“You deserved more.”
“I don’t want more. All I want is you. All I’ve ever wanted is you.”
Taehyung blushes hard, but he still feels uneasy. The words are hard to find, so hard, but he'll be damned if he doesn't try. Jungkook deserves that. He deserves all that and so much more...
"Jungkook I have made the most ridiculous mistakes in my life. From the moment I met you all I wanted was to get to know you and I always just played that off as wanting to be your friend, even though I knew deep down that I was so intrigued by you, that you were just magnetic and I felt that pull, y'know?"
Jungkook knows all too well. He had felt it too. That night, in his apartment...
"I've never been good at showing you how much I appreciate you. I took you so for granted and I feel so bad for how I've made you feel. I should have listened to what my heart was telling me from the beginning, instead of pushing my feelings down, making us go on those dates. I thought if I saw other people, if I dated a lot, did what other people were doing in college, I wouldn't fall for you. It was ridiculous..."
"Tae I agreed to the pact too. I saw other people as well, I thought the same..."
"Yeah but you didn't run from your heart like I did. You waited for me all this time... I made you wait whilst I was too blind to see... and I think I never truly realised that our lives wouldn't always be just me and you if I didn't do anything about it. It took another person to make me realise that I was being selfish in believing that and expecting to have you always by my side. You've done so much for me and I've never told you how grateful I am for that..."
Jungkook shakes his head, "Are you kidding Tae? Do you really believe you haven't done anything for me too? That i'm not grateful for having you in my life too...?"
Taehyung doesn't answer and Jungkook sighs, takes hold of the other tighter. "Before that night do you know how lonely I was? How much I was struggling to make friends at college? How shy I was? It was at your party where I met the guys, where I found my family and my voice. It was you who opened me up to people Tae. You bought the first photo I ever put on sale, you inspired most of my shoots, you never failed to cheer me up when I need it. It's all these things that made me so ridiculously head over heels in love with you. Dammit even the pact was because you thought about finding me someone, wanted to help me fall in love because you had absolutely no idea I was in love with you the whole time!"
Taehyung sobs again, his tears falling steadily from his cheeks. Jungkook shouldn't be so understanding. How has he managed to find the most amazing boy? A boy with the most kindest, caring heart. Who loves him despite all his pitfalls?
"I promise you Jungkook, I'll do everything I can to show you how much I love you from now on."
Jungkook laughs, "Tae don't be ridiculous..."
"I'm not. I really mean it. I love you so much Jungkook and i'll show you..."
"Well then you have some pretty big competition because now that i've confessed I don't think i'm ever going to get bored of showing you how much I love you."
A bashful smile spreads on Taehyung's face at Jungkook’s boldness, a turn of his lips through his tear stained cheeks, that once Jungkook sees, relaxes a little. He leans in then, shyly at first, his smile hard to budge until he meets the others eyes again, waiting for Taehyung, to make sure he's okay with this.
Jungkook is looking at him so fondly, so strongly, his eyes holding every bit of feeling he has ever harboured for the other, hid so well in nine years, now all revealed, all laid out clearly on the line for the first time. They’re so honest, so real and so, so fond. In love. Taehyung wants to look at those eyes forever. Knows that now, that is an option.
He kisses the younger again. A kiss that tells Jungkook that his love is reciprocated. A kiss that holds a promise and a future. A kiss that reaffirms their destiny, together. A couple that was always meant to be.
-The End-