Chapter Text
Chapter-2
Jared forced a smile to his lips as introductions were made and congratulations offered; his heart beating painfully fast. It was not long before Jensen excused himself and requested Jared to accompany him to the bedroom.
Jared nearly choked, his legs feeling like jelly; and memories of all the times he’d ‘entertained’ his alpha’s friends filling his mind’s eye in all their surround-sound-Technicolor glory. But the reasonable part of him whispered that it was no use denying what was going to happen, and procrastination always hurt worse; so he followed his alpha mutely.
It didn’t help his composure when Jensen closed the door behind them. He took an involuntary step back when the alpha moved towards him and Jensen flinched at his reaction like he’d been electrocuted.
“Sorry” he whispered. Sometimes it helped to apologise first.
“Nah... It’s cool. My fault anyway, so...” Jensen waved off his excuse before focussing sombre green eyes on him; “Jared, are you – are you okay?”
He nodded, not comprehending the question.
“You’re alright with the guys being here? I- I can vouch for them... they are good people, but if they make you uncomfortable, I can always ask them to leave... So, should I do that?”
“I don’t mind. Honestly.” He reassured his alpha. It was a lie, but his alpha didn’t have to know that; did he?
“Okay, so maybe not yet... but you tell me the second they start bothering you, alright? ... If you find yourself not disturbed enough to actually throw them out but need some quiet, you can always come in here and lock the door. Trust me, nobody will mind.”
Jared nodded, suddenly feeling guilty for having doubted this alpha.
*
When they walked back into the room, they were greeted with catcalls and wolf-whistles... even a scream of ‘Dude, you had to grab a quickie while your friends are here?’
Jared felt himself turn beet-red, but Jensen gave a gentle squeeze to his arm, reassuring him silently. And then played it up for the galleries-
“What can I say, man; I’m insatiable!”
While he was booed with titters and calls of ‘gross’, Jared walked in to the kitchen determined to impress his alpha’s friends.
He was peeling potatoes when he felt Jensen’s presence, “Hey”
“Ummm, hi?”
“What’s going on?”
“I-I thought your friends mind appreciate some snacks to accompany the beer?” Jared’s voice went up at the end turning his words into a question.
“Wow! I mean- uh, yeah; they’re going to love it... so how can I help?”
Jared blushed at the offer, “It’s alright, and I’ve got it.”
“Come on... I wanna help... Admittedly, I’m not much good around the kitchen, but you can get me to help with the preparation if not the actual cooking part of it?” Jensen wheedled.
“Ummm... could you do the batter for the onion rings?”
“Sure!”
It was strange (but nice), Jared admitted to himself; working with his alpha... Jensen didn’t intrude, trusting Jared to know what he was doing and following instructions quietly. His mate was busily kneading the dough when Jared finished with the first batch of home-made French fries.
“D’you wanna...maybe...uh- taste? Tell me if it needs anything?” He ventured hesitantly.
Jensen glanced up; it hadn’t escaped his notice that the omega never ate when he was around till Jensen took his first bite, but right now it could serve as an advantage.
He held up his flour covered hands, “I’d love to; but my hands are all-”
Jared nodded, his shoulders slumping in defeat.
“Could you-?” Jensen opened his mouth, tilting his head up.
“Oh, sure...” Jared quickly picked up a fry, dipping it in ketchup before offering it to his alpha.
Jensen quickly leaned forward, purposely misjudging the distance to close his lips around the offering and wrapping them around his mates fingers for a taste so brief that Jared would probably (hopefully) assume it was an accident.
Jared felt his face heat up when the alpha’s lips grazed his finger, (it had to be an accident, right?) but refused to comment.
“It’s delicious, Jay...” Jensen whispered, allowing his voice to dip a decibel lower than his normal pitch, and letting Jared draw his own conclusions.
*
The food was appreciated by Jensen’s friends just as he’d predicted; with most of them announcing that if Jared would always cook for their games, they would make Jensen’s place the permanent week-end hangout. Some of them had even gone so far as to suggest he open a shop of his own.
Even Dr. Collins suggested that he should not waste his talents.
Jared blushed at all the compliments but stayed close to Jensen. While his new-alpha’s friends were obviously nice and Dr. Collins was as honourable as he’d heard, the good doctor’s piercing blue gaze reminded him a little too much of his last alpha for him to be completely at peace.
Sadly, although he didn’t (couldn’t, could he?) guess the reason, the man seemed to understand his discomfort; and though neither mentioned it; remained as far from Jared as possible. Evenknowing how kind the alpha was, Jared found himself secretly thanking his lucky stars for making Jensen his doctor back at the Home, rather than the other alpha.
The evening passed with surprising camaraderie and ease and; sooner than he expected, Jared found himself standing at the door wishing everyone a good night. His alpha’s arm was casually draped around his waist and for the first time, Jared realized that he did not mind.
*
Jared quietly went about retrieving the clothes from the drier; wondering why things had to go from good (even great, he admitted silently) to bad. The day had started off nicely enough, the previous night’s cosy friendship spilling over as they shared breakfast. Jensen had even allowed the omega to pick a book from his collection to read while the alpha went through some of his patient reports. The calm was shattered when Jensen got a call from the hospital, but the alpha had waved off any worries; taking the call into the study as he discussed symptoms.
It was only when Jared heard Jensen cursing up a storm that he realized that something had gone wrong; still he sat quietly, unwilling to intrude. But it was not to be.
“Have you seen my copy of Wintrobe, Jared? It’s a blue coloured book, about this thick?” The alpha gestured, poking his head through the study-door.
Jared’s heart sank.
Not only did he know the book the alpha had described; he was the one responsible for its shift in position. Feeling numb with apprehension, he had simply fetched the ridiculously thick book on haematology and handed it to the doctor. Jensen had flashed him a grateful smile and continued the call, but Jared knew that the reckoning would come as soon as the phone touched its cradle again.
He barely succeeded in restraining himself from jumping out of his skin when Jensen appeared by his side, helping him sort and organise the clothes coming out of the washer.
When a minute passed without the alpha saying anything, Jared ventured a hesitant ‘sorry’.
Jensen glanced at him askance, “For what?”
“I re-arranged your books... without permi-”
He was prevented from completing by a finger pressing against his lip, “You don’t need my permission for anything Jared. The only exception is when you try for something that may possibly affect your life or health adversely. Understood?”
Jared blinked, and then nodded. “You- you aren’t angry?”
“I’ve no reason to be.”
“You couldn’t find the book-”
“Look, are you actually trying to get me riled up? ‘Coz it’s not working Jared. Yes, I could’nt find the book. Big f*ing deal! It’s not like I’ve never forgotten where I’ve placed a particular book or object before... Jared, honestly; it DOES NOT matter.”
Jared sneaked a glance towards his alpha, the man sounded angry... but the fury was not directed at him. More specifically, it was aimed at whatever was the reason for Jared’s fear.
He quickly lowered his gaze when he saw Jensen look back at him; but then remembering thatthis alpha didn’t expect him to drop his eyes when addressing an alpha, he glanced back; offering a tentative smile.
It was as fragile as a bubble, liable to burst at the lightest critique; and Jensen seemed to understand that. Cradling the fragile offering like the invaluable gift it was; returning the smile.
They worked in silence for awhile, Jared gradually relaxing by degrees. And then Jensen snorted. The omega looked over to find the alpha holding out a pair of his trousers, “Dude, your pants have a butt-flap!”
Jared went ten-shades of red at the observation; “Easy access” He whispered.
His reply made the alpha blush, before the implication of his words set in and Jensen went pale, turning slightly green around the gills. Without a word, the alpha disappeared into the bathroom and Jared heard sounds of dry heaving. When he returned, Jensen face was thunderous.
“Get dressed; we are going shopping”
*
Jared was keenly aware of the line of heat next to him where Jensen stood- the alpha always close, but not hovering. Shyly, he glanced around at the departmental store, wondering at the last time he’d actually worn regular clothes. It must have been before he met his alpha.
Correction: his FIRST alpha.
For a second he actually considered letting Jensen buy stuff for him from here, but then remembering how kind the alpha had been, he decided not to push matters.
“This is not an Omega-store, Alpha.”
Jensen startled at his whisper, his mouth going round in a soft exhalation; Jared rarely- if ever- spoke unless addressed.
“Oh, okay;” Regaining his faculties, he turned to face the salesperson, “Do you have an omega section?”
The girl directed them to the back of the store, directing a glare towards the doctor that Jensen missed but was noticed by Jared.
The ‘Omega-section’ was partitioned away from the regular side by a painted-glass ‘decor’ of some sort that touched the ceiling and ran from end-to-end. In fact, a ‘door’ had been cut into the glass at one end to allow customers in.
Jared watched Jensen’s wide-eyed expression and realized that this was probably the first time the alpha had ventured to this part of the shop. His expression was oddly reminiscent of Jared’s own reaction when he’d first visited a store catering specifically to ‘omegas’ with his former alpha- and that shop had been nowhere as... classy as this one.
The items were displayed in much the same way as the rest of the store, but there was just something unidentifiable here that made it appear a little darker (not enough spotlight on the displays?) and unfriendly (perhaps the bondage equipment holding pride-of-place among the displays played a role in that).
He quickly went about picking stuff from the shelves- his size offered few choices, but that had never bothered him; observing his alpha from the corner of his eyes. The man’s eyes were drawn to the bondage equipment, and for a moment Jared wondered if that was a hidden kink, before he realised that Jensen’s lips had thinned in displeasure as he took in the display.
Jensen reached out and snagged a casual tee from the shelf, his good mood evaporating when he noticed that the material was just a tad coarser and the silhouette not as elegant as a regular line from the same brand. He checked the price tag, and yep; the prices were lower too. Jensen glanced around the store, realizing that it was true for the entire shop and frowned.
He was replacing the tee he had plucked when Jared walked back to him with a small pile of clothes (must have just one entire set of clothing, judging from the size of the pile).
“We’re not getting these, Jared.”
The omega’s face fell, but Jared had learnt long ago that it was futile to protest and he silently followed the alpha out. He was surprised when Jensen paused by the salesgirl they’d been talking to earlier.
“I thought you wanted stuff from the Omega section?”
“None of the items really caught our eye, you know? So, I was wondering if you could find some things for my mate here...” Jensen explained smoothly.
The girl positively glowed with happiness at the news, ushering Jared to the changing room and handing him a few things to determine his exact size. Jared tried to remember the last time he had tried stuff on before purchase.
When they walked back to the car after an hour and a half with Mindy (the chatty-Cathy of a salesperson who seemed to think of Jared as a life-sized doll she could play dress-up with); their arms were laden with bags of various shapes and sizes. It was nothing extravagant, but Jensen had gotten him sweat-pants and track-pants and jeans and more than enough tee-shirts to allow Jared to go for a fortnight without laundry. They had even picked two formal shirts and trousers for the eventuality that at some point Jared might go out.
Jared just wondered if and when Jensen would expect him to repay his kindness.
*
“So uhm; your last alpha got you clothes from the Omega-sections?” Jensen’s voice broke into his thoughts.
“Yes, Alpha”
It was a minute before Jensen spoke again, “You know Jared; I understand that he was your first and everything and as such will always hold a special spot in your heart... but I’ll confess...sometimes, I find it really hard to like the man.”
Jared just stared at him with something akin to disbelief... and in a rare moment of courage, confessed; “I never loved him”
Jensen raised an eyebrow, “No?”
“He frightened me.”
The alpha pinched his eyes shut for a brief second as he parked, things suddenly falling in place.
Damn, but how had he misunderstood everything so badly?
*
Jared wondered at how relaxed Jensen appeared after his confession in the car. Part of him grudgingly understood the alpha’s position- Jensen had resigned himself to a mate who would always love another man, and suddenly discovering that it wasn’t so, was... liberating.
The rest of him snorted in disbelief at ANYBODY even imagining that he could have loved his former alpha... but on the other hand, if the man hadn’t been the bastard he was and had been more like Jensen, he supposed he could have actually grown to like the guy.
And an even tinier part of him whispered that he was lucky to have this man at his new mate... because no matter what, he did not-not even for a nanosecond; believe that his late alpha would have accepted Jared ‘still-being-in-love’ with his last alpha if he’d been the one in Jensen’s position. There would have been hell to pay, and Jared knew that.
He supposed it said something about the kind of man- the kind of alpha; that Jensen was that he’d not only believed that, but resigned himself into accepting it.
*
They had been settled in front of the TV, surfing the channels lazily (and wasn’t it just predictable that there was nothing interesting enough to watch?) when Jensen had turned towards him with a mischievous grin.
“There’s nothing worth watching...”
Jared had raised an eyebrow, mentally coaching himself that Jensen wouldn’t hurt him for his impertinence.
“Why don’t you show me the outfits we picked for you today?”
For a brief second Jared wondered if that had been code for...something; but the emerald eyes were guileless; and he headed to the bathroom to change.
When he emerged a few minutes later, he discovered that Jensen had unearthed an old Polaroid camera and was waiting for him. For a second he froze, his mind reminding him of the ‘mementos’ that his old alpha had liked to click of their ‘interesting-times’; coming out of his reverie at a sharp click followed by a flash. He looked up to see his alpha shaking the developing photo.
“Dude, you look wonderful!”
Jared blushed, turning a brighter shade of red when the alpha refocused the lens to capture his ‘adorable blush’.
“You’re going to photograph me?”
Jensen shrugged, “Unless you object?”
“No, it’s just that...I’m not really photogenic, you know?”
“Let me be the judge of that, will’ya? Now, strike a pose!”
Jared’s eyes bugged out, “A...a...pose?”
Jensen gestured impatiently, “Yeah, you know...like-like, I dunno... pretend you’re a model and I’m taking snaps for your portfolio or something.”
“Oh” Then after a moment, “I don’t know how.”
“Hey, this is just for fun, okay? Make faces... pretend to dance, or something.”
Jared stood frozen to his spot, “I don’t know how.” He repeated.
Jensen glanced at him before grinning like a loon, “Okay, here I’ll show you”
The alpha walked over to him before pulling him down for a mimed kiss. It was only when he felt the flash go off that he realized Jensen had photographed the moment. He couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of him at that; watching as Jensen pulled on his reading glasses and made ridiculous faces at the camera, snapping pictures like they were going out of style.
The rest of the afternoon (and evening) passed in much the same way; as Jared paraded in one outfit after another. The two of them making complete fools out of themselves as they pouted and preened and posed for pictures.
Jared had never laughed so much in life.
He’s dressed in the last outfit Jensen hasn’t seen him in: a pair of artfully-faded denim and a casual tee-shirt when the alpha lets out a low whistle, setting down his camera.
“Alpha?”
Jensen shakes his head, smiling; “How come you never use my name?”
“I-I don’t want to disrespect you...” Jared stammers, suddenly unsure.
His mate’s brow furrows, “You’re telling me that I’ve been disrespecting you all this while by using your name? Luna, I’m so sorry; Ja-” he cuts himself off, smiling sheepishly, “Omega”
Jared failed to hide his flinch at the name, his mind changing Jensen’s gentle tone to the one his last alpha used.
“Don’t- don’t call me that, please”
“Omega?”
Jared nodded, “Please don’t?”
“But if I’m insulting you by using your name-”
“You’re not!” He burst out before recovering, “A-alpha.”
“No? Then why is it an insult for you to use mine?”
“You want me to use your-your name?” Jared stuttered out.
“Yes, please.”
“Okay” The whisper was barely audible, but Jensen heard it nevertheless.
“Great, now what do you say we go out for dinner tonight? You look amazing... and I want to show you off.”
For a split second Jared wondered what Jensen meant by ‘showing him off’; but reminding himself that so far this alpha had done nothing to warrant his distrust, he gave a slow nod; “If you wish...Je-Jen-Jensen”
Jensen’s smile was dazzling, “Perfect! Give me a minute to change and then we’ll head out.”
*
The moderately crowded diner had been just ideal for Jared’s nerves... neither too intimate, nor too over-crowded, and Jensen had stayed the exact distance to reassure him without triggering his internal alerts. And so it was with a little disappointment that Jared noticed the mild discomfort in his belly through their steak.
By the time they were waiting for dessert, he knew he wouldn’t be able to conceal his pain anymore. Knowing his alpha would prefer to avoid causing a scene, he leant close, “Can we leave, please?”
Jensen raised his eyebrows in confusion, “What’s wrong?”
“I-I don’t feel so good.”
*
Jared opened his eyes blearily, his skin feeling uncomfortable and too tight for his own body. Something cold touched his skin and he looked down the length of his torso to see Jensen placing a wet-washcloth on his stomach, the rest of him already swathed in strips like a child’s attempt at mummifying.
A low keening escaped his throat, and his alpha’s gaze immediately snapped up.
“Luna Jared, You scared the shit outta me! I was planning to wait another hour and then take you to the ER”
“Wh-what happened?
Green eyes crinkled with worry, “This is not good...” The doctor muttered, then louder, “You don’t remember?”
“I remember us eating at the diner,” a soft smile came unbidden to his lips at the memory, “But then, I was feeling umm...nauseous? We were headed back home...” His voice trailed off uncertainly.
However, his brief recap had cleared some of the worry from the doctor’s eyes.
“Yeah... You uh- you threw up, and then passed out. And you’ve been running a temperature... Jared, were you alright this morning? Tell me I didn’t drag you all over for clothes shopping when you had a fever!”
He licked his lips, shifting to hide his discomfort as discreetly as possible, “No... And I don’t have a fever.”
“Dude, you’re burning up! I’ve not been wrapping yo-”
“It’s my Heat.” Jared interrupted.
And Jensen could smack himself for misdiagnosing Jared’s ...problem.
He was a fully qualified doctor and knew enough about/had interacted with enough Omegas to have an extensive idea about their bi-annual Heats... how he had missed the possible signs of his own mate’s Heat was completely beyond him.
It took Jensen a moment to realize he had been miming a fish for a while now; what with the way he was repeatedly opening and closing his mouth... He sighed, he’d hoped to have longer with Jared before his Heat, but on the positive side, Jared seemed lucid enough at the moment.
Given the way a Heat usually robbed the Omega’s ability to consent properly, he figured that these few moments while Jared was coherent enough to answer properly would be the best time to make this as consensual as possible under the circumstances.
“Jared, do you...” he paused, not wanting to mess this up, “Should I knot you?”
The Omega’s eyes closed resignedly, “If you wish”
And that was all the answer he needed to decide on his course of action, “I suspected as much.”
Nodding to himself, he touched a gentle hand to Jared’s face, turning him so that he could look into his eyes. “I have a proposition.”
The omega remained silent but Jensen could read the curiosity in his eyes.
“I- uh... I have this theory... I’ve never tried it before-couldn’t without having a mate of my own, actually; and I always figured I would need to win my Mate’s trust before attempting this...”
A pause as he framed the rest of it, “We’ll go the traditional way if this doesn’t work; but for now, I think this is our best option. Do you trust me, Jay?”
The omega nodded.
“Good; ‘coz I don’t know how to explain this... just- just let me show you, alright?”
Jared nodded again.
“I’d like you to take a shower- a bath if you don’t think you can manage being upright for long...give me a few minutes to set this up, okay?”
*
When Jared emerged from the shower, the bed had been stripped and fresh sheets tucked in with almost military precision. There was a length of rope, some water and a knife on the bedside table.
*
“Alpha?” He asked, unable to hide his nerves at the sight of a knife.
Jensen followed the line of his sight and sobered, “Oh, don’t worry about that... it’s for your protection... if you ever feel I’m hurting you or just simply threatened...I’d like you to use them, on me; I mean... Now climb in, you’ll get cold standing in the open after your shower.”
Jared nodded, obeying silently. He still kept his boxers on till he was safely under the sheets, and then reached down to yank them off and discard them beyond the cosy nest Jensen had created with the blankets.
The alpha didn’t comment but Jared could see his lips twitch with amusement at Jared’s shyness.
“Do you need anything else?”
He mutely shook his head.
“Alright-y, then.”
He watched as Jensen started stripping off his own layers, continuing till all that remained was a pair of tight black boxers.
Jared’s mouth watered at the sight of all that unbroken skin. Taut muscles spanned his limbs, even as the defined lines of his abs fluttered at his movements...Jensen’s body, while muscular was not overtly so as though pumped full of steroids. The long, slender lines were aesthetic, pleasing to the eye... And Luna, but his Alpha was beautiful!
Almost as though he was aware of Jared’s scrutiny (and perhaps he was, given how Jared’s eyes had been glued on him), the alpha quirked an eyebrow at him, “Like what you see?”
Jared blushed, even as he felt the uncomfortable wetness spreading around his thighs.
Laughing, Jensen climbed into the bed; reaching out to pull the omega into his arms in one fluid motion. For a moment Jared stilled, uncertainty tensing his muscles; but then Jensen began rubbing slow soothing circles in his skin, occasionally reaching up to stroke a hand through his hair and he began to relax.
“Try to get some sleep; you’ll need your strength for later.”
*
Jared woke in degree; feeling incredibly warm and...Safe
It was the latter emotion that had him remain still for a moment long enough to categorise the varied sensations swamping him.
A hand was idly rubbing circles into his lower back, just above the swell of his ass; and he had the distinct impression of something- slender and long... filling ...him. Shifting subtly, he realised that he was being cradled against a warm body; the steady heartbeat of the person holding him, a rhythmic (and oddly soothing) thump under his ear.
Blearily opening his eyes at the strangeness of the situation, he moved to sit up; something hard brushing against his hip briefly before the ‘filled’ sensation disappeared abruptly. Looking up, he found Jensen watching him silently with a contemplative expression on his face.
He made an abortive motion to roll away, but the hand which had been tracing invisible patterns into his skin moved to cup around his shoulder, holding him flush against the length of his alpha.
“How are you feeling, Jay?” The doctor’s voice was hoarse, throat seemingly raw; and Jared noticed with some concern that the rest of the man matched the voice.
Jensen’s eyes were glittering a vibrant green, arousal clear in their depths; but the mesmerising peepers were ringed by dark circles that appeared almost purplish in hue. Similarly, while the plush lips still looked as welcoming as ever, they were bitten raw and Jared could swear that it was actual blood in one corner (where the alpha had apparently bitten through).
In contrast, his own body felt wonderfully sated and relaxed (unlike the previous times he had rejoined the land of the conscious after one of his heats). There were no sore muscles, no inexplicable scratch marks or bites marring his skin.
“I’m good” he confessed, “Never been better, actually.”
Jensen smiled slightly at that even though there was no mistaking the exhaustion in his features.
“Ca- May I ask what happened?”
“You don’t remember?”
He shook his head, oddly disappointed by the knowledge.
“My theory worked.”
“Yeah?”
“Well, almost... I mean you still needed something to –uh-” the alpha scratched his neck, blushing adorably, “well, something to fill you; but my finger sufficed.”
“We didn’t knot?”
“No... I didn’t even have to take off my briefs, actually... it seems just my alpha pheromones, coupled with my finger were enough to satisfy your heat.”
And Jared felt the truth of his alpha’s words in the feel of warm cotton on the body pressing against him. Instinctively, he pressed forward a little, wanting to feel closer to his alpha, the residual heat-reactions fuelling his action; but the muffled groan that escaped Jensen’s lips made him pause.
“Alpha? Jensen?”
The shorter man shook his head, “Nah, its cool...just wasn’t expecting that, you know?”
“Oh”
“Okay then... breakfast?”
And Jared’s stomach grumbled as if on cue, making them both smile.
“Perfect! So, I’ll go whip something up- and I’m not half as good as you in the kitchen- so...fair warning, alright? And you can sleep awhile more or grab a shower...?”
Jensen climbed out of the blanket-nest they were wrapped in and Jared’s heart clenched at the sight of the impressive bulge straining the front of his mate’s boxers. Apparently, his alpha had held himself in check to protect him.
He remembered his earlier heats and his alpha- his old alpha telling him that Jared’s pheromones, his smell and wanton heat-reactions made it impossible for an alpha to control their own urges. And it was something he had read a thousand times over in books on Omegas as well... while it was the omegas who suffered through heat; it was the alpha’s whose reactions were un-suppressible. It actually ‘hurt’ the alphas not to react to their omega’s heat if they were in the vicinity. And his alpha had actually held him through it; soothing Jared at the cost of his own discomfort (And pain?)
No, he would not allow this man to suffer; not when he’d been so kind to Jared.
He shifted forward, reaching for Jensen; “May I help you with that, alp-Jensen?”
Jared had expected Jensen to say yes with a grateful sigh, not leap out of bed as though stung. The rejection was like cold water: of course Jensen wouldn’t want him... how could he want such a broken, USED Omega?
“Jared,” The normally dulcet tones were sharp; a command.
Obediently he glanced up, unable to hide the sparkling tears in his eyes.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Jay... I- I’m not rejecting you.”
“No?” He questioned petulantly, wondering where he’d found the courage to give lip to an alpha.
Jensen’s expression softened, “No, Jared; I’m not...it just-” he paused, evidently searching for the perfect words, “Well, I’d like our first time to mean something, you know? Not just because you’re grateful and want to show your appreciation or some such shit.”
Was this Alpha for real?!?
Jared stared wide-eyed at the man, making him fidget uncomfortably. For a long moment, they held the other’s gaze, each trying to decipher the truth in the other’s face; but after a moment the kind doctor yielded.
“So, ummm... later?” Jensen asked hopefully.
“Later” Jared confirmed.
*
Three and a half months later
Jared smiled at his own reflection as he smoothed the sleep-shirt over a torso that was beginning to show the first hint of developing muscles. The scars had all but disappeared and for the first time since he’d left home for college, he once again resembled the youngest Padalecki son he’d once been.
His alpha had been suitably appalled when Jared had confessed that his last alpha had had him withdrawn from college soon after their mating and had arranged for him to join a short-term distance-education programme to bridge the year he’d been unable complete. Jensen had promised to get him enrolled in regular college at the start of the next term and given how the man had upheld all his promises so far, Jared had begun to cautiously plan for the classes he would be joining.
Sometimes he himself had trouble believing how far he’d come from the scared, skittish omega his late-alpha had turned him into.
He grinned as he picked up the novel he’d been reading, stretching like a cat as he relaxed into the bed and Jensen disappeared into the shower- something the old-Jared would have thought impossible; given what awaited him after his alpha’s shower.
Ever since his Heat, he’d convinced Jensen to share the bed; assuring the reluctant alpha that he trusted the man enough to know that he would not be molested in his sleep. Even then, Jensen had strictly remained on his side of the bed, never encroaching Jared’s space. And it had taken a fortnight for the omega to realize that Jensen would keep waiting for Jared, even if it took him the rest of his life; but he’d never make the first move. Sure, he wasn’t cruel enough to make him do all the work- reciprocating enthusiastically once Jared gave his ‘okay’; but always ensuring that no lines were crossed.
Eventually, Jared had worked up the courage to roll into the other man’s side one night, holding his breath as he waited for the alpha’s reaction. But while Jensen had almost instantly wrapped him in his arms, allowing the omega to burrow into his side, he had done no more; silently assuring Jared that he would be here for him, but that he was free to pull back if he so needed.
And that had been the proverbial straw on the camel’s back as Jared had shamelessly broken down on his alpha.
Later, huddled under the blanket and the warmth of this man, he’d haltingly narrated his history with his last alpha; constantly afraid that he was giving his new alpha ideas on how best to hurt him; but while Jensen had gone rigid as the tale progressed, the hand soothing through his hair had never stopped its motion, nor had he been tossed heartlessly aside.
While that had been progress, his past continued to sneak up on him every once in awhile, making him freeze (or worse). Just the other week, Jensen’s arrival had made him jump; dropping the glass bowl he’d been mixing the ingredients for the cake-batter. And for an instant he’d forgotten where he’d been as he braced for the punishment that never came. Apparently he had blacked out hyperventilating, because when he was next aware of his surroundings, he had found himself on the couch as Jensen wordlessly swept the glass and cleared the mess.
Neither had mentioned what happened, but this time Jared had been brave enough to keep the apology that wanted out.
*
“Is it any good?” Jensen asked nodding at Jared’s book and breaking the reverie.
Jared lifted eyes from the text he had (not) been reading as he watched his mate pull on his nightshirt. It never failed to impress him how the lean muscles rippled with the movement.
“Maybe” He answered with a casualness he would have found impossible to use in the presence of his old-alpha.
“Maybe, huh?” Jensen laughed, “Think it is something we can read together?”
Jared bit his lip to keep the smile that was threatening to slip out; he usually loved to hear the rich voice of his alpha as he read for Jared. It had started casually one night when he’d woken from a nightmare and found himself unable to reclaim sleep; and his alpha had picked a random book to read-aloud to distract him from the horrors plaguing his dreams, but somewhere along the line it had become something that was just ‘them’.
He dropped the book he’d been reading (or pretending to, at any rate) to wrap his arms around his alpha’s waist, using his few extra inches to lean over his mate in a way he would have never dared to with his- well, previously.
Jensen smiled back at him in the reflection; leaning back to rest his weight gently against the omega. Jared blushed at the trust displayed so blatantly, ducking his head to nuzzle the vulnerable hollow at his alpha’s throat, “I have a better idea”
“Yeah?”
“Remember how you told me to tell you once I was... ready?”
The emerald eyes widened till they resembled saucers, the alpha’s voice a throaty purr as he whispered a ‘yes’.
“I’m ready”
*
The End.