Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Byronp86: So you wound up having serious conversations with both Margo AND Claire? How did that happen?
Ladiezman47: i have no idea, but i don’t like it. when did i turn into you?
Byronp86: What?
Ladiezman47: when did i become the brother our sisters go to when they need help with something?
Byronp86: There’s a big difference between us still, Adam.
Ladiezman47: if you’re talking about sex, you’re right.
Byronp86: NO! What I mean is, you went and sought them out and tried to help them. I just let them come to me when they need help.
Ladiezman47: i guess the solution is to stop talking to them all together. and i’ll just send them to you if they seek me out.
Byronp86: Gee, thanks.

I woke up the first Monday I was back at college at 8:30 a.m. for a 9 a.m. class on the other side of campus. You’d think I’ve have grumbled about that, but I didn’t—well, not much. It was back to classes, parties and dinners with friends. Routines. School was my new normal.

Colin, of course, was already up and out when I rolled out of bed. He and Caitlin hadn’t seen each other all break, so they were spending as much time together as they could now that they were back in the same town. It seems that Caitlin’s parents didn’t approve of their ‘darling princess’ dating. (Imagine if they knew that Colin and Caitlin spent about two nights a week in each other’s beds.) Colin had gone so far as to create a fake instant messenger profile under the name Colleen so the two of them could talk.

Drama. See why I was so desperate to avoid a relationship?

Kelly and I had parted on good terms. We’d both agreed to see other people while we were at school and then see where the summer found us. I’d sent her a brief message on IM the night before, but I wasn’t really good at keeping in touch long distance. Just ask Tiffany.

Actually, Tiff and I were doing better now. She’d emailed me pictures of ‘Little Adam’ on his two-week birthday, and that made it a lot easier for me to remember to reply. I had so much more to say to “Look at these chubby cheeks” and “He’s already gained 5 oz.” than I did to “My ankles are swollen and I’m getting a C in history.”

My first class of the semester was accounting II and, to my surprise, Annie was standing outside the classroom waiting for me when I arrived. “What are you doing here?” I asked suspiciously.

She rolled her eyes. “I’m in this class, too.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Annie had pumped me for information about my spring schedule back in November, but she hadn’t mentioned we had any classes in common, so I’d assumed we didn’t.

She shrugged. “You didn’t ask.”

We meandered inside and found two seats together. After I sat down, Annie reached out and rubbed my face. “I can’t believe you still haven’t shaved yet,” she commented.

“It’s called ‘willpower’ and ‘delayed gratification.’”

“Delayed gratification is overrated,” Annie quipped.

I didn’t reply to that. Annie had, over the past couple months, given me a taste of how my brothers must feel when they’re dealing with me. Every third comment out of her mouth is a sex joke. (That hadn’t stopped me from annoying my brothers the same way, though.) Realizing I wasn’t going to respond, Annie changed topics. Sorta. “How was your break? Did you do anything—or anyone—interesting?”

I looked around. Ms. Crabtree was my instructor again and she didn’t put up with any nonsense—or gossip—in her class. She hadn’t arrived yet, so it was safe to answer. “I hooked up with an old friend. Nothing serious.”

Annie watched me seriously for a moment, then went back to her regular jovial self. “Well, good. You were definitely due.” I just nodded. “As for me,” she continued as I laid out my calculator, workbook, pencils and notebook, “I met a new friend and an old friend. Actually, he was the guy I lost my virginity to when I was fifteen. I wanted to see if his technique had improved. It hadn’t.”

Ms. Crabtree came in at that point and I shushed Annie. I was bound and determined get a 3.0 GPA this semester; then and only then would I post my grades on the fridge next to my brothers’.

When class was over, Annie swept everything off her desk into a giant duffel bag that would have looked more at home in a gym than in a classroom. We walked out and I spotted a very familiar face lounging across the hall, leaning on a bulletin board. Her hair was different every time I saw her. Today, her tresses were bright blue and she’d twisted them into having the appearance of dreadlocks. “Hey there, TreyAnne,” I called across the hall.

“Adam, baby,” TreyAnne yelled back. “How’s it hangin’?”

“Real low,” I replied.

Annie rolled her eyes. “You wish, Adam,” she grumbled. TreyAnne laughed.

I ignored them both. “What are you doing here?” I asked.

“I’m meeting Annie. We’re going to a step class to get all hot and sweaty.” She came over and linked one arm through mine. “You should join us.”

I’d rather die than go to a step class, I thought. “Some other time. I have another class in ten minutes.”

“Too bad,” TreyAnne said, sounding like she meant it. “Guess you and me will just have to find another way to turn up the heat, huh?” She leaned in and kissed my cheek, then let me go and headed down the hallway. “Coming, Annie?”

“In a minute,” Annie replied. Her expression was fairly blank, but I could see something was annoying her. I waited for her to say something, but instead she just stood there until TreyAnne was out of sight. She gave me the most evil glare, probably hoping I’d be intimidated. Well, she underestimated me. I just stared right back at her until she gave up and followed her friend in the direction of the gym.

What was with that? Both girls were acting really weird, but then again, TreyAnne was always weird. I couldn’t figure Annie out, though.

I hurried on to my next class, which was something I’d been dreading. I’d heard that the political science classes were killer. Instead of lectures and homework assignments, it was a self-paced program. You went home and read the chapter and then came in and took the test during class time. Both Archer and Meiner had taken the class last semester, and Archer had barely scraped by in it because he’d put all the reading and tests off. Meiner, being better organized, had pointed out that you simply needed to take a test every other class period in order to finish on time.

When I walked inside, the ‘professor’ explained the curriculum, handed out the paperwork, and then turned us over to the teaching assistants who would administer our tests. I went to greet my TA and found myself looking Petty Andrews in the eye. “Adam, how are you?” she asked, greeting me like she spoke to me every day.

“Better now,” I murmured under my breath. She raised an eyebrow. “Good. I’m good,” I said, loud enough for her to hear. “How about yourself?”

A group of other students gathered around us, so Petty said no more to me directly. She launched into a spiel about responsibility and accountability. We were all legally adults, Petty said, so no one was going to baby us. We were responsible for talking all our tests on our own and pacing ourselves.

In other words, the speech was pretty boring. When she was done, Petty directed us to come to her if we needed help or had questions, gave us all her email and phone number, and sent us on our way. As everyone else stood to leave, Petty said, “Adam, can you hang out a second?”

Other groups were still meeting, as the TAs went over suggestions on pacing and study tips; I’m sure Petty thought they were babying their students. In any case, she whisked me out the door into the vacant hallway. I followed nervously. "I feel like I owe you an apology,” she said.

I went from nervous to bewildered in no time flat. “For what?” I inquired.

“For that whole Ashley thing back in October.”

I’d almost forgotten about that. “Don’t mention it,” I said dismissively.

“No, let me explain,” Petty insisted. I gave her a motion to go on. “I came down really hard on you. I thought a lot about what happened with that over break. I understand now that you were trying to build a rapport with Ashley so that you could become a positive influence.” I nodded. “I had a revelation about it: you can’t help someone who doesn’t want your help. And Ashley clearly did not want help.”

I was at a loss. I couldn’t say I’d actually forgotten about what had happened, to be completely honest. It was more like it wasn’t a concern any more. I mean, I figured I’d lost my one shot to get on Petty’s good side and that was a bummer, but I had to admit that I didn’t even know her. Maybe if I did, I’d find out she was really, really annoying or something.

Or maybe that was just what I was telling myself so that I wouldn’t worry about the situation.

In either case, I didn’t know how to respond to what Petty was saying now. That didn’t seem to bother her, though. “I feel like that was the worst disaster of my presidency…so far,” she added.

I patted her on the shoulder gingerly. I didn’t know where I stood, physically, with someone like Petty. She wasn’t a friend like Annie, where I could give her a hug and not have her read more into it than was intended. Even though I liked Petty and wanted to get to know her better, I didn’t really see our ‘relationship’ as me pursuing her with the intent of getting her into bed. If it happened, someday, it happened. “Why?” I asked her as I pulled my hand away. “You said it yourself: you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped.”

Petty smiled briefly. “I wasn’t talking about Ashley. I was talking about the way I treated you.” I felt a blush creep up onto my cheeks. “You were trying to be a good brother and help both me and Ashley out. I gave you an impossible task and no time to do it. And then I insulted you.”

I grinned as I realized that Halloween hadn’t been the end of my opportunity; it was just the beginning. “Does this mean that you’re no longer going to make me your project?” I asked hopefully.

Petty pulled her messenger bag over one shoulder. “Just the opposite,” she said as she started walking down the hallway. I stood still as she looked at me over her shoulder. “I see great potential in you, Adam. You’ll be hearing from me soon.”

***

I wasn’t left dangling regarding the source of Annie’s mood for long. That evening, I was plugging away at the first accounting assignment and Colin was poring over his anatomy textbook when there was a knock on the door. “You expecting anyone?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Nope. You?”

Colin still didn’t have much of a social life, but I’d gotten to meet—and like—a few of his friends. “Nope,” he echoed, then slowly got to his feet. I returned to my workbook, as I’d been interrupted in the middle of a calculation, but I kept my ears open. “Hey, Annie,” I heard Colin say, “Come on in.”

I grimaced momentarily. Annie never just pops in to ask a simple question; she always requires my full attention and stays awhile. Colin led her inside and before I had a chance to greet her, Annie spoke. “Adam, can I talk to you? In private?”

I looked up from my homework. “I’m in the middle of something,” I told her.

“It’s really important,” she said. Her voice took on a pleading quality.

I tried not to sigh. It’s always really important with Annie. “Tell you what. I need five minutes to finish this part. If you wait in the lounge for me, I’ll take a dinner break. You and me can go to the cafeteria. Okay?”

Annie looked like she wanted to argue with me, but she just nodded and headed out. Colin hadn’t gone back to his anatomy yet—he knows Annie can be distracting—and he whistled. “What’s that about?” he asked.

I shrugged. “She’s upset about something. I don’t know what, but I have a feeling I’m not going to like this conversation.”

And I was right about that. Annie was uncharacteristically reserved on the way out of the building. Usually, the two of us argue, playfully, about where we should eat or the fact that I eat too much. That night, Annie didn’t even speak until we left the building. After that, she just responded to my questions and left the conversation at that.

But when we sat down with plates of food, she had a lot to say. “You can’t go out with TreyAnne,” Annie told me before I even brought the fork to my mouth.

I lowered the silverware. If I’d been eating already, I probably would have choked. I didn’t know how to approach that declaration, but I decided to go with my old standby. “Why?” I asked, dripping sarcasm, “Is she really a man?”

Annie ignored that. “I really need you to do this for me, Adam,” she insisted.

I had pasta with sauce that was supposed to be alfredo. I went ahead and took a big bite. The alfredo sauce tasted more like glue than anything edible. “You’re assuming an awful lot, Annie,” I said with my mouth full. “First, you’re assuming that I’d even want to date TreyAnne.”

“Of course you would,” Annie replied irritably. “First off, she’s a girl and you’re a straight guy. Second, she’s built. Have you seen those boobs? Third, she’s very experienced and, from what I hear, she’s an excellent teacher.” She was eating a chicken burger, and from the look she gave it before she took another bite, it was as tasty as my alfredo. “She really should write a book.”

I had to admit that Annie was right on point number two. TreyAnne had a very large chest, the type that bounced no matter how well she tried to strap it in. (For a moment, I almost wished I had gone to step class.) And I had heard rumors about number three. I didn’t know any guys who had actually slept with her, not even Archer, but that didn’t stop the gossip from reaching my ears. “By your own logic, Annie,” I said, not looking up from my food. I didn’t want her to think I was giving any credence to her words. “Every guy should want you, too.”

“Oh, they do,” Annie answered, and I couldn’t tell if she was serious or joking. It’s the kind of comment I would have made sarcastically but Archer would have said boastfully, without the slightest bit of modesty.

I moved on from the comment without response. “Anyway, what problem would you have if I did decide to go out with TreyAnne? You can’t possibly be worried about crossing swords. With the two of you being so…outgoing…you were bound to eventually sleep with the same guy.”

Annie put her burger down. She was a lot more serious about this whole subject than I’d ever seen her be about anything, especially sex. Annie always put a teasing edge on everything, so for her to be so glum concerned me. “I know,” she answered.

I raised an eyebrow. “So why are you trying to tell me who I can and can’t be friends with?”

She looked at her food without eating for a moment. “You’re not just anyone,” she muttered to her plate.

That comment didn’t seem to follow my statement. “What?” I asked.

Annie looked up. “I wouldn’t care if any of my other sex partners slept with TreyAnne,” she said. She put her elbows on either side of her place and put her head onto her fists. “But I also don’t consider any of my other hook ups to be my friends, either.”

I took another bite of food. What does one say to a comment like that? Thank you? You can’t tell me what to do? Part of me wanted to be difficult and stubborn—you know, normal me—but at the same time, I was actually a little bit flattered. Annie has a lot of brothers and sisters among the Trip Eps and Kapps, and a few people she called her ‘girls,’ like Alexys. There were very few people she actually considered her friend.

Annie took my silence as annoyance. “Look,” she said, lowering her pitch a little. She was just picking at her food, which wasn’t normal for her. “I know I have no right to even ask. But if you value our friendship at all, I need you to do this for me.”

I looked up finally. I did value Annie and our friendship. She was one of the few people, along with Meiner, that I truly trusted at school. She might be pesky and have a totally one track mind, but Annie was loyal and she understood me. I would have done just about anything for her.

I’d never considered doing more than a little light flirting with TreyAnne. Every time we’d seen each other after we’d first met, she’d made jokes and I’d commented back, but it was nothing more than the type of ‘getting hot and sweaty’ exchange we’d had earlier. Annie was prone to that type of comment as well, and neither Annie nor I assumed that it was leading to more if she said something like that to me. So why did she think that my jests with TreyAnne meant that I wanted to sleep with her?

I looked Annie up and down as she set aside half of her burger and began working on a salad instead. (As long as it wasn’t wilted, the lettuce in the salad bar was relatively safe to eat.) Other than the one comment she’d made that I wasn’t sure was a joke, she hadn’t played around. She wasn’t kidding when she said she said this was something she needed from me; I could see it in her eyes when she looked up at me questioningly. I still didn’t know why, but my sister—my friend—needed me. “Okay,” I answered, holding my hands up in defeat. “I won’t pursue anything with TreyAnne.”

***

I had good intentions when I made that promise to Annie. I figured it wouldn’t be hard to keep, since I’d never looked at TreyAnne past wondering what her hair would be like next. But I’d forgotten the element of involvement with others that is always the most difficult to deal with: the fact that I’m not the only one involved.

It was two days before I saw TreyAnne again. She showed up at my dorm room unannounced, much the same way Annie had. Only this time, I was snoozing with the door open. (The heat was cranked up far too high in the dorms. If I hadn’t had the door open, I would have roasted.) TreyAnne peeked through the doorway and then entered quietly. I was lying on my side with a blanket half-tossed over me, having a very vivid dream in which I was eating a roasted pig. I’d had that dream before, and I always wake up starving, with a craving for bacon.

This time, I woke up completely differently. TreyAnne sat down beside me, her ass pushed up to the small of my back. In an instant, my dream changed from food porn to regular porn. I was unable to distinguish between the real touch of the girl who was just sitting beside me, not doing anything, and the girl in my dream (who was more like a centerfold from Playboy than any of the girls I’d met on campus.)

It’s probably a good thing that Nathan next door started blasting his computer speakers at that moment. If I hadn’t startled awake, there’s no telling what kind of embarrassing dream sequence I might have tried to reenact with TreyAnne. Instead, I sat bolt upright, staring at her as if I’d never seen a girl on my bed before. (Sure, Annie was the only girl I’d actually fucked in my bed, but there had been a few others who’d obliged me with a make out.) “Hey, Adam,” TreyAnne said, as if sitting uninvited on the bed of a guy you barely know was not only socially acceptable, but completely normal.

I rubbed my eyes blearily. “What’s going on?” I asked, confused and not exactly polite.

TreyAnne didn’t appear to notice, but she didn’t exactly answer the question, either. “What are you doing this weekend?” she asked instead.

I pulled my knees up in front of me. I was still…excited…from the dream and I figured it was the best way to hide it. “Um,” I began helpfully. I cleared my throat, returning my sleepy voice to normal. “I’m going to the movies with my roommate on Friday,” I said, “and I’m going to get ahead on my reading on Sunday.”

“Well, what are you doing Saturday?”

I thought about that. I didn’t have any plans as yet. Neither the Kapps nor the Trip Eps were hosting any events this weekend, and I hadn’t had a chance to see what else was going on. “I really don’t know,” I told her. “Why?”

“I was wondering,” TreyAnne said. She turned so that she was sitting at the foot of my bed, and she pointed her boots at my bare toes. I knew the boots were Doc Martens, because that’s exactly what Vanessa always wears. “Did you want to maybe go out to dinner with me?”

Oh. Now everything made sense. Annie hadn’t ever thought I was really interested in TreyAnne; instead, TreyAnne had probably told Annie that she was interested in me. I had given her just the opening she’d needed, too. “I don’t know,” I repeated. I was struggling to find some way out of this. “I’ll have to check with my frat before I commit to anything. I have a memory like a sieve for stuff like volunteer projects and mandatory meetings.”

TreyAnne nodded. She isn’t in a sorority and, despite how close she and Annie had become, she was fairly disdainful of the whole Greek system. “Check into it and get back to me,” she said. She leaned in for another kiss on the cheek and suddenly I was very uncomfortable. The last time she’d done it, it had felt like a joke. This time, it was more like a preview. TreyAnne didn’t notice the change in my expression or demeanor. “See you later, Adam, baby.”

She walked away and I jumped off the bed. I waited a short period of time before I closed the door behind her. I picked up the phone and called Meiner. “Lenny!” I said as I tried to calm down a bit. I couldn’t figure out why my heart was pounding. “You have to rescue me.”

“Whoa, Pike,” he answered laconically. “Slow down. What the hell’s the matter?”

“What are you doing Saturday night?”

He paused for a moment. “Dunno. Contrary to popular belief, I do not have every minute of every day planned.” I had to crack a grin at that; it’s something that Archer says behind Lenny’s back all the time. “Before you go any farther and insist that I help you with whatever shenanigan you’ve gotten yourself into this time, I gotta know why I am at your beck and call.”

How to answer that? I went for generic. “Girl trouble.”

Meiner laughed. “Say no more. What do you need me to do?”

I sat back down on the bed. My heart was still beating too fast, but I was no longer frantic. It’s good to have friends who don’t demand every detail out of you. “Find me something to do Saturday night. I don’t even care if it’s reading to the homeless or feeding old people.”

“Think you got that backwards there, Pike,” he said. I didn’t reply, so he went on. “Well, you can come over here. My roommate is out this weekend, and we can bum around until you decide to tell me all about this girl problem you’re having.”

So much for Meiner not beating the details out of me. “Sounds good. Only…”

“Only what?”

“Can I tell the girl I’m reading to the homeless instead?”

***

TreyAnne took the news of my Saturday night plans better than I expected. She just shrugged when I told her I was working at a soup kitchen that evening. Annie, who seemed to know that I’d turned TreyAnne down, was a lot more cheerful in class on Friday, but I was still uneasy. I didn’t think this was the end of things with the blue-haired vixen.

I headed over to Meiner’s pretty early in the evening. Lenny had been drinking for most of the afternoon…or at least it seemed that way. In any case, he’d had enough alcohol that he didn’t remember his promise to weasel things out of me. I couldn’t really complain about that.

He grinned when he saw me. “Still growing the beard. You almost look like a real mountain man by now.” I scowled; Meiner had been the one who had said, back in November, that he didn’t think I had enough testosterone to grow a beard. And yeah, for the first two weeks or so, it just looked like I’d forgotten to shave that day. Lenny grinned bigger when he saw my face. “No, not making fun. I want you to keep growing that beard…at least until the second week in February. That’s the week I bet on, you know.”

We spent the early evening hours being immature boys—in other words, our usual selves. We played video games and told dirty, crass and sexist jokes. I learned a few things about Lenny that I hadn’t suspected…like the fact that he had more experience with girls than I did, but he was a lot more careful with the decision to have sex. (While I couldn’t exactly say I regretted any of the girls I’d been with, I wasn’t exactly proud of some of the circumstances, either.)

I’d just ordered pizza when Archer showed up. “Hey, my brothers,” he said.

I checked the clock. It was only eight p.m. “I thought you had a date tonight,” I said as Lenny paused the game. By that point, we’d degenerated from shooting games and were playing Mario Party on an ancient GameCube.

“Yeah, I thought so, too. But I guess she wasn’t the right girl for me.”

Meiner popped off the couch. “What makes you say that?” he asked.

“She didn’t appreciate it when I reached for her butt during our ‘hello’ hug.”

I looked at Lenny and we both laughed. “You’ve got a lot to learn about girls, Andy,” Meiner said with a shake of his head.

Archer took Lenny’s seat on the bed. “Anyway, I decided that if I couldn’t fuck her, then fuck her. Know what I mean?”

“Not at all,” Lenny joked. I grinned.

“So I decided to call my man Pike, and his roomie told me he was over here, with my other man.” Archer was sounding even more off than Meiner had earlier. If I had to guess, I’d say he was high. “So I came on by. Care to explain what lead to the sausage bonding fest?”

Lenny rolled over in his roommate’s rolling desk chair. “Adam’s trying to ditch a girl,” he said.

“Oh, I get it.” Andy made a sympathetic face. It’s never good when he’s sympathizing with your situation, because it means you’re fucked. “You catch one of those clingy girls who doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘one-night stand?’”

“That’s not a word, Archer,” Lenny corrected. “It’s a phrase.”

“Our boy’s in need and you’re going to nitpick semantics?” Archer turned back to me, waiting for me to answer his question. I shook my head. “Too bad. That would have meant you actually got a girl.” I saw Meiner roll his eyes.

“You should get together with Annie,” I quipped. “You’re both really concerned with my score card.”

“Too blabby,” Archer said, wiping away thoughts of Annie with one hand. “So if she’s not clinger, then what’s a matter with this girl? Is she a troll or a mental case?”

I thought about that for a moment. TreyAnne wasn’t actually bad to look at, and despite the fact that she lived by her own rules, she wasn’t stupid or crazy. “Nothing like that,” I said.

“Well, what’s the fucking problem then, Pike? Does she not have a cootch or something?”

I got up off the bed and popped onto the chair next to the television. “You really wouldn’t understand,” I told Archer.

“Try me, bud,” he urged.

“She’s a friend of Annie’s, and Annie asked me not to go out with her,” I finally admitted.

Archer and Meiner looked at each other. “Which friend of Annie’s?” Meiner asked slowly.

I shifted uncomfortably. “TreyAnne.”

TreyAnne is like Cher or Elvis. You never need to mention a last name, but everyone knows exactly who you mean. “TreyAnne?” Archer repeated. “TreyAnne asked you out, and you turned her down? Why?”

Meiner made a clucking noise. “Because Annie asked him to, Andy,” he explained.

Andy tried to follow that logic. “So? I’d give my right hand for a night with TreyAnne.” He paused, as reflective as he ever gets. “Okay, maybe not my right hand. I need that one. But my point is, since when does Miss Bradford get to dictate your sex life, Adam? Or any of your other hookups, if you have any?”

I didn’t acknowledge the last question. Archer had been trying to get me to admit exactly how many (or few) girls I’d slept with almost since the moment I’d met him. And like Meiner, I’d never given him a straight answer. I didn’t want to be like Jordan had been a couple years ago, when he’d actually kept a written list of the number of girls he’d gotten blow jobs from. (Jordan didn’t want to be that guy any more, either, since he’d torn the list up some time back and never referred to it again.)

But I didn’t answer Archer’s other question right away, either. Lenny picked up my line of thought instead. “Archer, if I asked you not to sleep with a girl because I was really into her, you’d honor that, wouldn’t you?” Archer raised his eyebrow. “You wouldn’t go after Alexys, for example, right?”

Archer nodded. “Alexys likes your scrawny, ugly bod, for some odd reason. I’d have to get her really drunk before she’d sleep with me anyway. Not worth the effort.”

Lenny shook his head, but he was grinning. “And if Pike here asked you to stay away from a girl he was chasing, you’d do that, right?”

Andy was starting to look annoyed. “We’re bros. Absolutely.”

“Well, Adam and Annie are tight like that too. What’s there to understand?”

Archer looked from Meiner to me and back to Meiner. “Okay, but you’re still not making sense, dude. I stay away from Alexys because you want to bump uglies with her…eventually. ‘When you’re ready.’” The last part was said more than a little mockingly. “Unless Annie turned into a lesbo while I wasn’t looking, she’s got no good reason to keep Adam from getting a little slice of TreyAnne.”

I rolled my eyes as well. “Who cares why she asked?” I responded. I still wasn’t entirely sure why Annie had asked me to stay away from TreyAnne. “I respect her enough to follow through with it.”

“Respect,” Archer scoffed. “Bros before hos, dudes. Bros before hos.” Lenny and I both shook our heads; no matter how much I might like girls and hooking up, I never felt the urge to call them ‘hos.’ That was the main difference between me and Archer. “Look, tell Annie you’ll do what she wants. Then just spend the night…or the weekend…with TreyAnne anyway.”

Lenny stood up from his chair. “I’ll never understand you, Andy. You might get girls to sleep with you more than once if you didn’t treat them like that.” He lay on the floor and started digging around under his bed.

Andy spoke up as our friend’s head disappeared under the bed. “There are enough girls in the world that I don’t need to sleep any girl twice. What’s the point?”

Meiner reappeared from under the bed, a bottle in one hand. “We’re never going to agree on that one. So, how about this instead?” He held up a bottle of tequila.

Archer nodded enthusiastically, but I shuddered. “Tequila and I do not get along,” I reminded them.

Andy laughed a deep belly laugh, but Meiner just gave a knowing smile. “I remembered,” he said as he pulled out a six pack as well.

I reached down and grabbed the beer. “To drinking enough that I forget about both Annie and TreyAnne,” I toasted.

“Now that,” Archer announced, “is something I can get behind.”

***

My predictions about TreyAnne had been completely true. She didn’t stop bugging me just because I’d blown her off once. After the second time she asked me out, I stopped making up detailed excuses and just started saying I was busy. It occurred to me that someone like TreyAnne might not realized I was blowing her off unless I made it really obvious, but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings any more than necessary.

But it really didn’t help. She just got even sneakier.

About a week after I’d told TreyAnne I was volunteering at the soup kitchen—I wasn’t even sure Athens had a soup kitchen—she showed up at my dorm room again. Actually, I went to take a piss and when I came back, she was sitting at my desk. I knew I should have shut and locked the door when I left the room. I stopped in my tracks in surprise. “TreyAnne,” I started. I was starting to get irritated. “What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing Friday night?” she asked me without even the slightest sign of realizing I was annoyed. I started to make up an excuse, but she cut me off. “And before you answer, know that I checked your fraternity’s website, and they aren’t hosting even a volunteer opportunity. And I checked the calendar you and your roommate have going, and you don’t have anything written down.”

I went from mildly dismayed to completely put out. What exactly was she doing coming into my room uninvited and reading my personal communication? I clenched one hand in the other for a moment. I knew if I spoke right away, I’d say something nasty. But I also knew that if I let this go for too long, I’d keep stewing over it and wind up saying something nasty anyway. “TreyAnne,” I said after a moment. I chose my words carefully. “I can’t go out with you.”

She looked shocked and I understood why, at least partly. A girl like TreyAnne wasn’t used to having people tell her no. “Is this about Annie?” she asked as a look of recognition washed across her face. “It is, isn’t it? Well, don’t worry about that. I know that for whatever warped reason, she didn’t want the two of us to hook up. But she doesn’t have to know. I won’t tell her.” I shook my head, but TreyAnne ignored that. “Let me tell you what I’ve got planned for you.”

She didn’t even have to start explaining; I started considering. I felt like a giant cliché: I heard voices, one angelic, and the other devilish, trying to tell me what to do. I heard Archer’s voice first. “Dude, Pike, she said she’d keep it quiet! All you’d have to do is not tell Annie yourself and you’re in!”

Then Meiner’s voice responded. “Adam wouldn’t do that. He’d know what happened, and it would eat at him. He couldn’t betray Annie like that.”

I shook my head, trying to clear my friends’ voices out of it. Lenny was right; I knew I couldn’t go out with TreyAnne and just not tell Annie about it. One look at my face and she’d know everything. I held my hands up. “Stop, TreyAnne,” I insisted. “I don’t want to hear it. I promised Annie I wouldn’t see you, and I won’t go back on my word.”

TreyAnne crossed her arms in front of her body and stuck out one hip. She was wearing a low cut, tight shirt and when she did that, her chest visibly jiggled. I steeled my resolve; I wasn’t going to be distracted by a pair of tits. “This isn’t the end of this, Adam,” she hissed as she stalked out of my room.

I let out a long, loud sigh. I wasn’t sure how long I could keep this up. Either she would wind up wearing me down, or I’d end up in a mental institution.

***

The next morning, I met Annie outside our accounting class. She was wearing the same sweater she’d worn the night we’d spent together, without a coat. (Meiner likes to joke that Annie is actually an Inuit, and cold weather is in her blood. She rarely dresses appropriately for the weather and almost never seems bothered by the cold.)

I, on the other hand, was wearing a down parka, gloves and a hat, and carrying an energy drink in each hand. “Double Shots?” Annie asked amiably. “Have a late night?”

“More like a bad night,” I replied as I pulled off my gloves. I wasn’t going to be able to get my Shot open while wearing them. “I kept having this same nightmare over and over. I’m alone with a girl, and we’re getting it on. But then she turns into a praying mantis and devours me when we’re done.”

Annie doubled over laughing. “Anyone I know?” she asked when she stood back up.

I finally got my drink open and took a huge gulp. The over-caffeinated, over carbonated drink shot down my throat, burning the whole way. I shuddered. “Yup.”

She shifted her bag from one shoulder to the other. “Well, don’t keep me hanging, Adam. Who was it?” I just gave her a look, with one raised eyebrow. “Oh,” she said as everything shifted into place for her. “Our favorite blue-haired maneater.”

“Yup,” I repeated, more morose this time. “She is not taking a hint, Annie. She’s not taking me coming straight out and telling her it’s never going to happen, either.” Annie shook her head sympathetically, and the two of us walked into the classroom. “What I don’t get,” I continued as I took off my coat and hat and hung them on the back of my chair, “is why TreyAnne is suddenly interested in me now. I’m the same guy I was last semester, so why the change of opinion?”

“Oh,” Annie said as she laid out her desk. A moment later, I joined her. “That’s something I can explain. TreyAnne can’t resist a beard. I hear she likes to tug them in the heat of things…right before she—”

I cut her off. “That’s really not helping things, Annie,” I told her dryly. She shrugged, but she was grinning her head off. “Look, I never even thought about TreyAnne that way until you asked me not to go out with her. But now I’m having to dodge her left and right, and all I can think is how she’s supposed to be an experience. And I’m missing the experience, all thanks to you.”

The grin faded as quickly as it had appeared. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “You have no idea how much I appreciate you doing this for me, though,” Annie continued. “I definitely owe you, big time.”

Ms. Crabtree had entered the room while we were talking, taking us by surprise. “Something you want to share with the class, Miss Bradford?” she asked lightly. That’s her usual cue for us to cut off personal chatter and pay attention.

Too bad for her—I’m a smartass. “She was just telling me how excited she is about another riveting accounting adventure,” I replied with a completely straight face.

Ms. Crabtree actually smiled. “Ah, Mr. Pike,” she said with a subtle shake of her head. “Things are never dull with you around.”

***

Well, after that conversation, I knew there was only one thing to do. I took a test in political science, so that I could stay on target for being done on time. After that, I headed back to the dorms. Colin was in our room, studying a computer program about muscles or ligaments or some other body part. I gathered my supplies quietly, keen not to disturb him, and headed back out.

I really hadn’t wanted to do this. We had bets lined up against my beard all the way through April. I planned to keep it until May first, so that all the profits went to charity. I might not be much for reading to the blind or manning the booth at the student activities fair at the high school or that kind of charity work, but I wanted to make sure I was doing my part. Getting rid of the beard now meant not looking as good to my brothers, but it was this or my sanity.

It took me longer than I expected to shave everything off. When I got back to my room, Colin had closed his computer program. He was looking at a book called Stupid History, just browsing through the pages. “Hey, Adam,” he said without looking up. “Did you want to go to lunch with me and Caitlin? We were thinking about going in about half an hour.”

That would be good timing; I could get part of my accounting homework done. “Sounds great. Give me about five minutes warning before we need to leave.”

Colin looked up, about to say something, but when he saw my face, he stopped speaking for a moment, slack jawed. “Adam!” he finally sputtered. “You shaved?”

I rubbed my face, which was still a little raw. “Yeah. I decided I was ready to lop it all off.”

He shook his head. “Didn’t you say on Thursday that you were going to wait until May?” I nodded. “What changed?”

“It’s a long, stupid story,” I told him wearily.

Colin quirked an eyebrow. “I’ve got time.”

Instead of opening my accounting book, I turned around in my chair and told him everything. “So now I’m clean shaven, but I still have my pride,” I finished up.

Colin shifted in his chair. He looked thoughtful. “You’re a good man, Adam,” he said after a moment. “Annie sure is lucky to have you, if you’re willing to do all this just for her.”

I sighed. “Thanks,” I responded. Colin cocked his head subtly to one side, still watching me closely. “I just wish I knew why Annie was so adamant about this.”

He smiled knowingly. “Women,” he said. “Sometimes, their minds are just completely unfathomable. Even Caitlin makes no sense sometimes.” I flashed a brief smile in return, thinking that I’d basically decided the same thing some time back. “You may just have to give up on that one.”

I shook my head. “You may be right.”

***

The true test of my sacrifice came later that evening. Colin was spending the night with Caitlin, so I was on my own. I’d finished my accounting homework and was reading my assignment in my most interesting class that semester: human sexuality. I’d closed the door to my room so that I could work without interruption, but as usual, it didn’t work. Someone knocked urgently at the door, but I ignored it. I was determined to finish the section I was reading before I got up.

That would have worked on most people, but TreyAnne is not most people. Instead of assuming no one was home and leaving, she tested the door. When she found it unlocked, she just walked right in. I heard the door open and I knew who it must be. Who else would think such behavior was okay? “Breaking and entering now, TreyAnne?” I asked, not looking up from my book.

I was sitting up against my pillows with my knees pulled up in front of me, the book rested on my knees. TreyAnne sat on Colin’s bed. “It’s not breaking and entering if the door’s unlocked,” she said, a smirk evident in her tone. “It’s just trespassing.”

She still couldn’t see my face, so I rolled my eyes. “Still. Didn’t your parents ever teach you manners?”

“I knocked, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but you’re supposed to wait for someone to tell you to enter.”

TreyAnne got off Colin’s bed and sat down next to my feet. “That’s overrated,” she said dismissively. “I figured that you were here alone, so it would be a good time to come over and prove to you that I’m not backing down.”

“I’m studying, TreyAnne. I really need to have this read by tomorrow morning.” I flipped a page in the book to prove my point.

I should have known that wasn’t going to work. TreyAnne just reached over and snatched the book out of my hands. I finally looked up, glaring at her. She was holding the book over my head gleefully when she got a look at me. Her face went through a range of emotions, but she didn’t say a word. I didn’t acknowledge any of it. “May I have my book back, please?”

She lowered the book and I took it back, more gently than she’d stolen it from me. “Fine,” she said, her tone more hostile than teasing now. “I’ll bother you later.”

I shook my head and opened my text back up. I was supposed to be reading chapter two, but it was opened to chapter nine. I ignored that fact. “I’m locking the door behind you,” I told her.

She didn’t answer; she just left and slammed the door behind her. I didn’t actually get up and lock it, because her attitude told me she wouldn’t come back later that evening. I did, however, have another guest an hour later. The knock this time was much gentler; I almost didn’t hear it. By that time I’d finished my homework and was watching mindless television. (Colin had gotten me hooked on reruns of Unsolved Mysteries.) Since I wasn’t studying anymore, I didn’t mind being disturbed. “Come in,” I called.

Annie practically tiptoed into the room. “Hiya, Adam,” she said, almost timidly. I looked up from the television. Timid is not exactly Annie’s usual style. “Can I talk to you?”

“I’ve always got time for you,” I told her. I patted the bed next to me, and Annie curled up by my side. Generally, when she comes to hang out, she sits next to me, but with enough space between us where we could put our beers or a bowl of chips. This time, she practically had her head on my shoulder. It reminded me so much of the way Byron and Haley sit together some times. I followed Byron-style instinct and put my arm around her. “Everything okay?”

She reached out one hand and patted my bare cheek. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

“For what?”

“For everything that’s gone on with TreyAnne.” She shifted so that she could look me in the eyes. “She came and told me that you’d shaved. I know you did that for me.”

I didn’t reply for a moment. I watched as they updated one of the fifteen year old cases that were airing on screen. Finally, I turned back to Annie. “You’re one of my best friends. You’d do the same for me, right?”

She nodded and actually put her head on my shoulder this time. “I was just afraid that if you got together with TreyAnne, the two of you would start spending all your time together, and I’d lose my two best friends.”

Now everything made sense. I still failed to follow her logic, but at least her actions had a reason. “You crazy female,” I said with a shake of my head. Annie grinned. I wasn’t sure I had the whole story, but like Colin said, I might have to just accept that I’d never really understand women.

***

I’d thought that was the end of things until half a week later. I went to accounting, where Annie was back to her usual self: I got to hear all about the guy she was going to try to sink her claws into that weekend. I’d left there shaking my head and headed to poli sci to take another test. I was a few minutes early and the teacher and most of the TAs hadn’t arrived yet. Petty was there, though, and she smiled as she saw me come in. “Hi, Adam,” Petty greeted me, watching as I set my things down at one of the desks. “When did you shave?” she added.

“Monday,” I told her as I stowed my bag under the desk. I laid my pen down on the desk and walked over to her table. She pulled out her laptop and opened the database where she kept track of what tests each of her students had passed. “I thought it was time for a change,” I added.

Petty pulled out a test from her file and handed it to me. “I heard a rumor,” she said as I started back to my desk.

We were still the only two in the room. “A rumor?” I repeated.

Petty organized her things as she spoke. “Yes,” she answered. “Something about you shaving off your beard just to help out a friend?”

The classroom was beginning to fill up. I didn’t answer Petty; I just started my quiz. Petty dealt with a couple of other students, but by the time I was finished, she was free again. I gave her my test and she quickly graded it, recording my passing mark. “Did you check the calendar yet?” she asked me.

“The calendar?”

“Yeah,” she said, still seated at her table. I leaned on it so that we could speak quietly and not disturb the others. “The calendar of beard bets.” I shook my head and Petty grinned. “Don’t bother. Tell Ryan he can pay me any time now.”

I gaped at her; Petty had bet on my beard? I hadn’t known that. “See you around, Adam,” she said in response to my surprise.

I gathered up my things, suddenly feeling pretty good about myself.