Chapter Text
On the night of the release of PIDW’s last chapter, Shen Yuan was so pissed that the nerd sat at his study desk. He’d soundlessly popped open a can of beer.
To cut the long story short: Shen Yuan Drank. A lot. And so, he died.
When he wakes up, it’s in the midst of an abyss with warmth wrapped around him.
Shen Yuan doesn’t know where he is, but for some reason, he feels that all of this is very familiar to him.
In the bloody darkness that his still-unformed eyes could yet to pick up, a tiny bump knocked up against him.
That little form is still up to anyone’s guess at this point. Feeling a little reckless, Shen Yuan reaches out a hand but finds himself incapable of controlling the flexing of his hands. The hand which still lacks a motor control jerks right up against the unresponsive form.
From outside, through the thick fluid that is their world then, a woman cries out in pain.
Shen Yuan freezes.
No, this can’t be happening.
“----------” Distilled voices come through the woman’s belly.
“!!!!”
Shen Yuan is horrified.
He… He is about to get intimately acquainted with a woman’s lower half.
-
With months having gone passed, which allowed the transmigrator – no, reincarnate to form his present consciousness, there are still a few weeks more to go.
Naturally, this overactive not-embryo cannot withstand the boredom.
He sleeps. He poops (via the tube connected to his belly button). He pees (still in that same amniotic fluid. The same one which he is sleeping in). He opens and closes his poorly formed mouth then. He drinks said amniotic fluid. And he listens to the thump and ba-dum’s of his mother’s heartbeat, drifting off to the melody of their voices.
Needless to say, the twenty-first century reincarnate who previously had the Internet at his disposal is not a happy not-embryo.
The world is wide and its horizon limitless.
Why does he have to stay in such a confined space, lamenting over the idiocy in his former life?
(Namely: Drinking. He’ll die before he admits this aloud.)
It’s not like he’s a child in need of a timeout spot.
Thus, to curb his boredom (and guilt. And frustration), Shen Yuan reaches out to the other entity in this place frequently.
He might have socked the other little guy once or maybe a dozen times in the eye because of poor motor functions. Sorry, if he accidentally hit the “little guy” of the little guy!
But the first time Shen Yuan grabs hold of that little thing’s hand and he’s responded to with a clumsy wag of his hand, it’s the most miraculous thing Shen Yuan has ever witnessed.
Shen Yuan decides he’ll be the best genius, big brother there can ever be. This little thing can trust him to keep his word with his (admittedly cheap) life!
They frequently roll around in their shared womb, hugging, tousling, and playing. Read: tormenting the poor woman who still does not know she’d hit jackpot with the sperm pool.
-
Birth can be described in one word:
Perverse.
A hand reaches into their world, much to the shrieking horror of Shen Yuan.
Quick! Hide, hide, hide! What are you doing?! You’re supposed to be born after me!
He bats at his twin, scoring another loud wail from their mother – whose voice is equivalent to that of a dying whale or a 9.8 earthquake – and the hand which is still inside refuses to stop groping them!
“------” More undiscernible voices. Shen Yuan has long since given in to the reality of unformed eardrums and eyes.
Wait.
Don’t go!
With the not-embryo-equivalent of wide eyes and a stout hand stretching out to grab at his brother but failing just short of 1 millimetre, the not-embryo who will later be known as Shen Jiu is ripped out of the tunnel, pushed out with a slippery splosh and a wail and a mess of fluids, caught by hands and—
My little bro!
Shen Yuan flounders in aghast.
His world is suddenly so much hollower, that little form which he’d been squashed up against for these few months torn away from him.
No… my big bro…?
Then, it’s his turn to go.
Shen Yuan closes his eyes, keeps his mouth and nose shut tight with all muscle control he can possibly have at age zero as – the walls of the vagina expand, and it tightens over each and every one of his crevices. Nose is a little protruding? No. This hand that is pressing over his head shall do its best to rip you out to prevent getting stuck breathless in a vagina. What about the ears? And the hands? And oh, the legs? And – and the pee-pee?
Shen Yuan is enlightened as he is being washed in warm water, staring blind as a mice with eyes as dead as a cooked fish.
Technically, all men have already been deflowered from the moment they are born.
Technically, he is not a virgin.
His little playmate who he has been pressed up to for a few gruelling months is put at his side, flushed pink and ugly as a monkey with just a few strands of hair on the top of his head. Still, this plump, fat little peach bun stops bawling the moment they’re together, tiny hands reaching out to hold Shen Yuan tightly in his grip.
Shen Yuan whimpers. He brushes close up to the little peach bun.
Usually, a man cries only when it’s the funeral of some poor sop or his dog or his family but—
Uuuu…… Finally, they’re born.
-
The good news is not long to last, because this is apparently ancient China.
Shen Yuan is unsurprised when he is thrown out to the streets, lying mutely in a blanket in a basket.
Yeah, this is what he expected.
Ancient China. The harsh cruelties of this world, as his Chinese novels have taught him, are not to be underestimated.
Births may be regarded as blessings from time to time amongst commoner households. But twins? Hah. They’re more a burden, what with the extra mouth to feed. After spending one month without so much as a wealthy family showing up in sight to take this “Pile of Burden” off their hands, the Shen family happily bid the younger twin a hasty farewell.
One can’t say that he’s pitiful too, with them having given him a blanket, and a basket.
At least, they didn’t treat him like that protagonist of that trashy novel he liked, throwing him down into the river and letting him flow along like a river child.
Suddenly, the rain which had been heavy out there stops temporarily.
Shen Yuan blinks large eyes when the ends of a waxed umbrella cuts into his alleyway shelter, tipping a droplet that plonks playfully down onto his nose.
From where he is lying in his wide basket, the meat bun blinks up blearily to see the wrinkled face of an old lady, her greying hair tied back into a loose bun at the back of her head. Seeing her dull clothes, worn but tidy, Shen Yuan grows somewhat excited.
Is this really the start of another PIDW-esque story? Is he going to procure his own dishwasher of a mother who buys him false jade?
He chokes when the old hag suddenly shoves a mantou in his mouth.
Wait. This is too big. He has no teeth. Are you seriously a fairy godmother or a witch?!
“Eat up. What’s wrong with you?” The old hag grows impatient, shoving the mantou fervently.
Shen Yuan wants to spit out a mouthful of bun in her face and tell her to eat it. You eat it if you think you’re so capable! This mantou is so hard and dry… but this lao zi is kinda in a pitiful state, so he supposes he will give you some face.
The cherub little face closes his toothless mouth over the mantou. He gnaws pitifully but diligently, spitting all his saliva out in his mouth to wet the hard skin, and then licking up the soggy skin of the bread.
Seeing him so focused on eating her offering, this old hag gives an ugly wrinkled smile, hand patting the edges of the basket in pleasure.
“Good boy, good boy…”
See? Isn’t this lao zi cute? If you think he’s cute, then please take him home for his sake – wait *cough cough* On a second thought, he might be better off without you.
After staring at him dry his mouth out for a while, she finally takes the mantou in hand. This old hag wets it with the rain and feeds it to him, bit by bit.
Shen Yuan, always so pampered by the good food of the twenty-first century, then tortured to no ends by the scraps Shen Mama always fed him, thinks he might have finally seen the most deprived ends of the culinary world. Tears well up in the corners of his eyes – courtesy of baby hormones.
“Not eating?” The old hag’s wrinkled hand prods at his mouth.
He’ll eat!
In this fashion, a few days pass just like that.
That old hag would return every day before the sun rises and after the sun goes down to pass him a mantou. Occasionally in the mornings, when she is in a hurry for time, she wouldn’t water down the nasty thing and would just laugh merrily when she returns at evening to see him still gnawing on that mantou. Shen Yuan found the fried bread a very good substitute for toothbrush – now, he only has to grow teeth! He would occasionally gurgle suggestions for the old mantou seller to improve her recipe, and she would laugh whilst patting him like a dog, not listening.
After a week, Shen Liu* (six) comes running back, startled when he finds him.
The Shen family is a low-income family. Yet, for some reason, that nasty Baba also had some nasty sexual appetite to suit his nature. If the children are not sold off, then they are abandoned in the streets just like Shen Yuan – or Shen Shi* (Ten) – is. Thus, the second youngest of the family after Shen Jiu hadn’t reacted too emotionally when his brother was dumped (in the least emotional way).
“So many days had passed… But you’re still here?” Shen Liu stares at him, surprised.
Shen Yuan can’t even bother to bless him with the whites of his eyes.
Yes, yes. Why? Did he make you unhappy with that?
By the way Shen Liu harrumphs, brows furrowing, it seems his continued survival has displeased his big bro.
“Whatever. Come.” Shen Liu picks him up. “Niang and Die have been on our asses all week long after we dumped you. Stupid brat and his stupid crying. I knew we should have tossed away the other one instead of you. At least you’re well-behaved.”
This child of age eight isn’t too intelligent, speaking bad words to a child’s face.
With all the might of his hand, gathered from days of mantou, Shen Yuan slaps the kid’s face.
If they dare abandon Shen Jiu, he’ll show them what they’ve got coming!
-
They didn’t abandon Shen Jiu.
Rather, Shen Er (two), truly the smartest one amongst them, spoke up blankly, “If we were to throw away that other one, who’s to say this one wouldn’t be the next to cry for seven days, seven nights straight?” –with an unfeeling jerk of his finger towards Shen Yuan.
Shen Yuan blinked ‘innocently’. And Shen Yuan smiled ‘sweetly’ at the family who turned as one to him.
Thus, the Shen twins were kept as a set to be sold in the future.
-
For the next few years, the struggle is real.
If this is a drama, it would probably be a slice-of-life featuring a poor, poor mother who sell body and sell face to feed her poor son.
Except, that mother is Shen Yuan.
Truly. One can’t imagine the struggles of raising a kid till one has done it in the body of a child.
Shen Jiu is good – in the sense that he has the biological alarm clock of a cuckoo bird, shrilling and tearing everybody’s eardrums whenever it’s time to eat. For the first and a little of the second year thereafter, Shen Mama was unwillingly coerced by will of Shen Jiu to pull out one of her boobs for each of them to suckle.
(Shen Yuan may or may not have sworn off women, after the first time he shyly nibbled and looked up – only to be faced with the ugliest glare from his new mom, as if she was staring down a flattened bug on the sole of her shoes.
Boobs are now sadly associated with an unpleasant memory.)
Feeding aside, from teaching Shen Jiu how to walk to how to talk to even the pooping business – You name it. All of it is done by Shen Yuan. The twenty-first century millennium couldn’t stand the stench, much less be willing to run the risk of poop-originated infections. Thus, the baby babysits.
Then comes the third and fourth year which are a pain.
With the body’s natural supply of food (read: milk) sucked dry, the twins are forced to switch to solid food, and… to say the least, the Shen family were not in the least kind towards their jaded ‘wares’.
At three, Shen Jiu looks two. They don pieces of cloths used for wiping tables more often than they do clothes these days. But what disheartens Shen Yuan most is the way in which Shen Jiu quietly accepts the quarter bowl of grains at dinner time every day without so much as a complain.
In the wooden house that is dimly lit, Shen Liu’s silhouette looms over them as he dips a nod at them.
“That’s all. This is your share.”
Shen Yuan hated that his weak, small body couldn’t go up to give that boy a beating.
Don’t lie! You are clearly hogging some portion of their grains! So what if you’re merchandise #3? You need to eat, so you think they don’t?!
Whilst Shen Yuan boxes down the ball of flames in the pit of his belly, Shen Jiu does not nod. He lowers his head to count through his lashes the number of grains. With a trembling hand, he jerkily cradles the bowl to his chest, and he retreats back to the corner they’re allocated – a distance away from the family’s dining table, in the shed.
Shen Yuan bears a heartful of tears on seeing him this way.
Shen Jiu, this child. Though he has demonstrated a profound intellect capable of learning words quickly, he is a quiet child. Shen Yuan also don’t know whether if it’s because he realizes their circumstances or not. He just knows that every time Shen Jiu demonstrates a maturity far beyond his age, Shen Yuan is caught between self-mocking laughter and bitter tears. The little brother who swore he would be the best big brother can’t even fight for a full bowl of rice.
“A-Jiu.” Shen Yuan presses body fingers over the tiny hands which are reaching the bowl out for him to eat. “Don’t. You eat. You need to eat more compared to me.”
Shen Jiu’s hands are no less bony than his. However, they hold onto the bowl of rice with the greed of a child who knows what it’s like to starve. They do not tremble, as he’d feigned in front of Shen Liu, seeking pity (and rice).
Two dark obsidian eyes peer up at him through long lashes. Under that lingering stare, Shen Yuan feels as if he’s being reprimanded by a mere child of three.
“Di.” Shen Jiu pushes it into his palm. “You eat.”
Shen Yuan frowns. Yet, an adult is being pampered and being told to eat by a child. How can he refuse such adorability?
“Okay.” The edges of Shen Yuan’s mouth turn up. He reaches forward, and still smiling sweetly, gently pinches the dirt off Shen Jiu’s face. “We’ll both eat.”
The little cherub face of a child of three peers back at him, one eye shut from the hand that touched his face. Shen Jiu is grave as he sits the bowl between them, keeping one hand on the edge all the time to keep it from getting stolen.
“We’ll eat.” Shen Jiu echoes.
Two brothers sit under the moonlight in a tiny shed to gnaw on a quarter bowl of grains.
-
When Shen Yuan is four, he finds the best place in town.
Though he wouldn’t know until much later, the town which the Shen twins are born in is one which is primely located in the human realm, right on the borders with the demon realm. Don’t talk about fighting over this territory; provincial rulers would happily fight to give it away.
This place which is full of laughter in one section and famine in the other is therefore one which is ruled by the survival of the fittest; The powers of the underworld are particularly strong here, outranking the province ruler.
Though they are human, some call the bosses of these underworld more demon than human.
Amongst them is the greatest beauty and madam of the Red Light District – Madam Luo.
Of course, Shen Yuan at that time isn’t aware of any of this. All he knows is that when he wandered further away from the part of the town he was used to, he found a district brimming with life – where all the trash bins are full of ‘gold’.
Shen Yuan, who considers himself a fairly gourmet eater, finds himself drooling.
The first day, he brings back plenty of scraps to share with Shen Jiu.
The second day, he observes the flow of people, and upon seeing the woman calling out to men from their shops, promises himself he will never become one of those gullible men.
The third week, Shen Yuan is tricked to enter by one of the da jiejie around here, who ‘dropped her handkerchief from the balcony and can’t get it’.
Truly, karma has no ends to playing him like a fiddle.
“Da Jie Jie, you called me here… because you need help?” Shen Yuan blinks large eyes.
On the inside, he’s screaming to the heavens for help. Help! Aaaah! He’s gonna get taken and plucked while he’s still unripe!!! Mercy!!!
“No need to fake it.” Madam Ruo laughingly says. The big sisterly woman with beautifully painted nails curves her hand. “Why do you think you’ve been finding so many gao dian in those bins?”
“Tch.” Shen Yuan looks away, tutting low under his breath.
He knew he shouldn’t have been so gluttonous! But this stupid stomach of his! GUUUUU~ He punches the rumbling thing. It just had to take control of his mind. Knock, knock. Are you the system in command or is Shen Yuan the one?
Madam Ruo sees this child making such an honest expression and stifles her chuckles behind her embroidered sleeves.
“Okay. Now that you are here, why do you think you’ve been brought here?” She asks, with the smile that has sent hundreds of men to death.
“…This lowly one has no clue.” Shen Yuan blinks large innocent eyes.
“Hmm~ You’re not fun at all. Bring him to the chambers~”
Shen Yuan cuts Madam Ruo off before she could wave for the prostitutes to bring him along. What they’re bringing him to the chambers to do… How could he not know?!
“This miss jiejie is too lovely. Looking at you, this lowly one can’t think.” Shen Yuan lowers his eyes bashfully.
“Your mouth is so sweet.” Madam Ruo smiles sweetly. “But this jiejie is pretty, what praise under the heavens have I not heard before?” You really are too proud for a beauty in a common brothel, Shen Yuan scolds in the depths of his heart. “Until he can come up with a praise I’ve never heard before, bring this child to the customer chambers~”
Shen Yuan’s heart is beating so hard in his chest, he would rather much like to puke out a mouthful of blood.
“—then, then,” Shen Yuan is played so thoroughly by her, his head is spinning around. “—how – How would this jiejie like to hear a story that I tell?” He offers.
In the child’s most desperate moment, his mind flipped through all available resources in his head. Shen Jiu’s bedtime stories was what the questionable thing generated.
Madam Ruo pauses.
“Oh?” A smile graces the face painted delicately with make-up to create a refreshingly youthful look.
That seems to have caught her interest.
For the sake of his pergonis’ virginity, as well as to safeguard his chrysanthemum, Shen Yuan was forced in this way to sell his story instead.
Madam Ruo, this character, is not a particularly terrible person. Though she is known as one of the big five around this town, if there is one way to describe her as a person, the first word that people around her would choose to use is ‘evil business dealer’. Then, the second is ‘whimsical’.
She saw, on a random day, a child who had been creeping up on the trash bins directly outside her window and stuffing his mouth full. Finding the sight of him with his cheek pouches stuffed full particularly adorable, she sent the customer who she’d been tying up back home, easily convincing him that “this is a torture in its own way” (such is the beauty of S&M). Then, Madam Ruo had continued to sit by her balcony, chuckling each time the child reached mid-way for a scrap, paused as reality hit him, then bent over to press his head against the wall, mulling over the state of his new life.
Madam Ruo’s etiquette is ‘an eye for an eye, a favour for a favour’. For the amusement he gave her alone, she had planned to send him on his way to the chambers for a sweet or two before sending him on his way. When she heard how sweet this boy’s mouth was, she’d planned to upgrade his treatment to being pampered like a customer.
But who would have expected him to elbow her with a sudden dash of diabetes in his stories and a rush of angst that makes her long for more?
“This xiao di,” Madam Ruo is full of smiles at the end of the day. “You’re quite good at telling stories.”
Shen Yuan has talked so much, his mouth went all dry. He daren’t stop to take a sip of tea because Madam Ruo looked so excited. And he doesn’t know what is inside the tea.
He looks up, eyes wide with a sheen of sweat and puffy cheeks tense, unknowingly looking the pretty image of a lovely little meat bun.
Madam Ruo has seen men of all different shapes and sizes come in through these doors. But children are just the sole exceptions. In a place such as her Red Light District, even if the prostitutes dare to mother a child, how would they dare to let them come across the Big, Bad Boss’s eyes?
Suddenly, she feels greatly aggrieved. Such fluffy meat buns with big eyes and mouth as sweet as sweetened pork… Why hadn’t she noticed her life was missing this all along?
“This xiao di. If you don’t mind, why don’t you come back to this brothel every once in a few days? We would be very happy to do business with you.” Reinforced by her desire to see meat buns, Madam Ruo smiles.
“E-Eh…?” Compared to what she’s thinking, Shen Yuan is full of dread. “Business…?”
Selling the body! Other than selling the body, what else can there be?! Finally, the child-rearing mother is stooping down to this trade! AAAAAAAHHH
“I-I can’t. I’m only four.” Shen Yuan dreadfully pushes himself back.
“Oh. So you’re four.” Madam Ruo hasn’t been expecting him to say his age and hence, when he mentioned it, she was surprised. “Four is also not such a bad number. You are smart for your age. I reckon you haven’t learnt words yet, have you?”
“A-Ah?” Shen Yuan is frightened to death. “Four is an unlucky number, Jiejie. Four represents ‘death’ in Chinese. It can’t be good.”
On the other side, Madam Ruo seems to be talking to herself.
“If you haven’t learnt words yet, that’s brilliant too.” She smiles, revealing white teeth which compliments her fair skin tone. “How about it, this xiao didi? Would you like to enter business with me? Jie jie will give you one spirit stone for every story you tell, and jie jie will teach you words too. Isn’t that a fair trade?”
“…” Is this… the modern era’s definition of ‘selling the body’?
“Is it not enough?” The evil business dealer Madam Ruo feels reluctant to give up more profit for when her business idea takes flight. However, thinking about it, this child has also been frequently stuffing lots of scraps into that cloth he calls clothes. He must have someone at home he needs to feed. “Then… How about this? For every visit, Jiejie will toss in four meat buns!” She raises four fingers.
Bribery at its finest.
The little meat bun’s eyes light up with stars as she expected and he proudly answers, “This lowly one is honoured!”
This little meat bun has been badly starved. When the first opportunity for cannibalisation comes, how can one resist?
-
Though the twins are their wares, the Shen family do not care much about them.
Their lack of concern is justifiable. A pair of twins with bodies frail as chicken bones – even if they are to run, where can they run off to? If they’re caught by slave traders, they’d be sold as slaves. If they’re caught by whores, they’d be sold as whores. Two boys of four can’t go far with their short limbs; they can only stay for their own safety.
Therefore, past midnight, when Shen Yuan returns far too late, he is not expecting a huge farce.
But who would have thought? Before the younger twin could even slide in through the wooden doors, he’s met with a punch to the face by a knobby, thin hand.
Shen Yuan drops to the ground with a “Wah!” The meatbuns he had been carrying in a piece of brown paper also drop to the ground with a crumpling sound.
Before Shen Yuan knows it, there’s a form as equally small as him throwing himself upon him, plunging weak fists down upon him repeatedly.
“Stop! Stop! Don’t hit anymore! I’m sorry – I’m sorry.” Shen Yuan drags him down for a big hug.
He must have worried Shen Jiu to death.
Though Shen Jiu, this child, has an incredibly high tolerance for one of his age, Shen Yuan still can’t help but view him as an innocent four-year-old. This four-year-old is his baby brother who he swore to protect. Even if this younger twin’s point of view is a bit distorted, it still somehow matches up with the scum villain, whose current age is four.
Left to wait alone in a shed till this late, what must Shen Jiu have thought…?
With his head dragged down to bury against Shen Yuan’s shoulder, the little soldier who had been holding back his tears finally lets the dam burst. At first, it is choked sobs that barely squeeze out through his rarely-used vocal chords. Those knobby knuckles dig into Shen Yuan’s shoulder blades, making them hurt. Shen Yuan winces, but continues to weave his fingers into his older brother’s hair. Those choked sobs turn into profuse tremours against the side of his neck, fingernails digging in then pawing away with a silent plea.
Shen Jiu was a quiet child even when he was newborn. Aside from crying tearlessly for food and Shen Yuan, he doesn’t have frequent shows of weaknesses. This show of weakness is therefore a huge sign of his inner turmoil.
“I’m sorry. I’m here. I’m here.” Shen Yuan also doesn’t tell him to stop crying. In his opinion, children should be children; they should cry when they want to cry, laugh when they want to laugh. Brushing a hand down the back of Shen Jiu’s head, he can only whisper soft assurances in his ears, hoping the silent trembles and the choked sobs swallowed back against his own ear may stop.
Chest to chest, he feels every bony shudder of Shen Jiu’s ribcage against his until he eventually calms down.
Shen Yuan lightly cradles Shen Jiu’s tear-stained face when the older twin pulls himself off.
He does not smile.
“Did I scare you?” Shen Yuan asks quietly. The younger twin’s brows are drawn together, large eyes sad and guilty.
All of this combined makes the four-year-old Shen Jiu who just received a great stimulation desire to just hide him away in room that is only meant for the both of them; to keep his younger brother locked up so that Shen Yuan can only worry about him. See how he feels then.
“…Next time.” Shen Jiu sniffles. He pins Shen Yuan down by the shoulder blades, eyes still dewy with tears, teardrops falling through his hair. “Never. Never do that again.”
Don’t leave him for so long.
Shen Yuan’s face softens.
“Okay.” He reaches up and he pulls his older brother down for a hug.
This precious child of his. So fragile, yet so easily made lonely. Don’t talk about him. Just now, when Shen Yuan was facing Madam Ruo, he had saw a vision of both his lives flashing past his eyes and got worried too.
He is fine with dying in this world. But for some reason, just when he thought that, he had the mental image of Shen Jiu, waiting at the door of their little shed room like a lonely little black bunny waiting for its master. That mental image is incredibly laughable yet also sobering. Little black bunnies die easily when they get lonely. It’s because of that mental image that Shen Yuan also decided that he still can’t die so easily.
“A-Jiu,” Shen Yuan lifts a hand to push the tear-matted hair away when they rise. “How do you feel about little black rabbits?”
Shen Jiu sniffles. He is still young, and he rarely interacts with the outside world, so he sees no shame in crying.
“What about them?” He asks.
Shen Yuan smiles gently, and he lifts the paper packet in his hand with a small teasing grin.
“I’ve got some rabbit meat buns here!”