Chapter Text
The air was suffocatingly thick.
Noé looked towards the Count, not saying a word, poised as ever and breathing evenly. Like nothing had just happened. And released from Noé’s watchful stare, Vanitas suddenly felt weightless. Like an anchor had fallen off of him and now he hovered just a step beyond reality. Seconds ticked by. The Count cleared his throat. Logically, Vanitas knew he needed to say something soon or else it would be suspicious, but instead he sat wide-eyed, feeling like a passenger in his own body. He couldn’t seem to string together coherent thought.
Because every time he tried to summon his wits, his mind would promptly respond by feeding him images of Noé, his eyes half-lidded and burning with conviction, pressing his lips ever so gently to the back of Vanitas’s gloved hand. And Vanitas would freeze, the phantom warmth he’d felt through his gloves almost real again.
The memory replayed in fragments. Slowly, Vanitas began to processes them. Until came together, all at once and—
—alarm bells blared in Vanitas mind—
HAD Noé JUST?!—
Vanitas barely restrained himself from jumping, instead sitting up incredibly straight. His heart sank and then pounded hard in his chest, till he could hear it in his ears, his ears turning a shade of bright pink.
No. No. No. How dare. No.
...
Biting his lip hard enough to draw blood, Vanitas clenched his fists. What was Noé doing! Ugh, it was obvious. He was trying to prove Vanitas wrong, show him that love looked like genuine care as opposed to the praise Vanitas was so lovingly heaping on him. So, he’d shown genuine care, given Vanitas that look. But no. He needed to put a stop to this madness before it got out of hand. This was a charade. They should keep all real emotions away from this. No care, no trust, no companionship. So, Noé had no right to do that. No right to try to use this charade against Vanitas! God.
Vanitas was good at eliminating threats. So, he pushed the rush of emotions that swirled in his mind away, relaxed his shoulders imperceptibly, and smiled pleasantly, looking forward and away from Noé. He would get his chance to give him a piece of his mind, later.
Noé felt the air change when he saw Vanitas smiling in his peripherals and it made him squirm. There was something sinister in Vanitas smile, like it wasn’t fitting on his face properly. Like someone had carved the smile onto Vanitas’s face with a knife. Like Vanitas had sewed the expression on his face and plastered his mask so tightly as to hide some… demon… lurking underneath.
And it was frankly, utterly terrifying.
Noé felt a shiver run down his spine. He’d done something wrong. This was not the reaction he was expecting from Vanitas. He’d done something horribly wrong.
Noé felt Vanitas kick his leg from under the chair and dig his claws into Noé’s hand so hard that it dug crescent moons into his skin. Noé didn’t even need to look at Vanitas to feel the cold murderous intent the man was radiating. The air between them was so strained that Noé found it hard to breathe. He sent a quick concerned look at Vanitas, who was ignoring him and smiling at the count pleasantly.
Absolutely. Terrifying.
Noé’s mind was running circles, trying to figure out what exactly he’d done to deserve Vanitas’s undiluted cold rage. The last time he’d been on the receiving end of such a dark look had been when Noé had asked to taste Vanitas's blood. And Noé understood why Vanitas had reacted with such venom that time; Vanitas was someone who was guarded, jaded, and loathed vulnerability… but Noé hadn’t done anything to possibly make Vanitas vulnerable this time.
He’d acted like a good boyfriend, just like Vanitas had done to him a few moments prior. Why was it wrong when Noé did it, but it was fine when Vanitas did it? Noé had presented his argument, what he thought love looked like, and Vanitas had been presenting his own. Why was Vanitas so mad? It wasn’t like Noé was asking Vanitas to do anything, all Noé had done was act like he was in love like he was supposed to.
What a fickle man!
And then Vanitas was back to functioning as usual, murderous intent reigned in momentarily, as he turned his direction back to the Count, still ignoring Noé entirely. Vanitas spoke merrily, “Yes, so as we were saying, we are not single and very much together, so we can stay in your court.”
“Yes, um, right,” Count Aquatinine looked away from Vanitas and Noé a bit too quickly, having seen their display of affection and now thoroughly convinced of their relationship. He turned his attention to Dante, not wanting to look at the couple for even a moment longer. “And you?”
“I’m staying in the city to gather more information so don’t worry ‘bout me, I’m not one ya need to watch,” Dante replied. At that moment, Noé noticed that even Dante was slightly pinkish for some reason. Perhaps he was the type sensitive to displays of affection, even fake ones? “If that’s all for today, I’m gonna take my leave. Nice meeting ya, Count.”
“As to you,” The Count said as Dante exited the room. “And as for you two,” The Count turned to Vanitas, but didn’t quite look him in the eye, “you will have a room prepared for the two of you on the lower level. Go talk to a maid about it. Now be off, I have work to do.” The Count looked ready to throw them out of the room. Or jump out of his own skin. He looked liked he’d aged since they entered the room.
Vanitas perked up at that. He was more than ready to leave the room. His hands were itching to strangle a certain vampire and gouge his damn eyes out.
Meanwhile, Noé knew that the moment they left the room, Vanitas would drop his mask. And Noé hadn’t yet figured out what was wrong yet. Noé swallowed hard. He wasn’t ready for what was about to happen.
Vanitas sprung up cheerily, “Yes, of course, we will be going then, bye-bye!” Vanitas got up and bowed dramatically before dragging Noé out of the room like a dog, yanking his arm with much more force than necessary, though the touch looked deceivable gentle.
The moment they were out of the room, Vanitas dropped Noé’s arm like it was burning him and he almost slammed the door behind him. He was turned away from Noé, shoulders wound up with tension.
Noé’s hands went up reflexively in a passive stance, bewildered and cautious.
It didn’t take more than a second for Vanitas to light up; bursting with whatever Vanitas was keeping pent up. Vanitas turned around and exploded with a growl, physically pushing Noé away from with as much force as the human could muster, “What the hell was that!” Vanitas’s face was twisted up in a sneer, his teeth bared.
Noé stumbled at the push but mostly held his ground. He shook his head, taking a step forward to make up for the step he’d been pushed back. He wouldn’t let Vanitas push him away from this, they needed to talk. Noé kept his voice level and asked, “What are you so upset about?” They were just acting, this is what they agreed to. Couples kissed each other on the hand. And it wasn’t even like he kissed Vanitas’s skin! It was just his glove. Trying again, Noé continued, “You said we needed to act like a couple, so I did. That’s how I’d act if I were in a relationship.”
Vanitas made a sound from the back of his throat that sounded between a whine and a groan. It actually sounded more like a dying cat. He put a hand over his eyes and dragged it down one side of his face exasperatedly. “What did I sign up for,” Vanitas muttered to himself under his breath so that Noé wouldn’t hear. “Why did I agree to this?”
“Sorry?” Noé’s brows furrowed. “I really don’t understand what I did wrong. If I made you uncomfortable then let's set boundaries, there’s no need for this.” Really. Noé had wanted to tease Vanitas, but he hadn’t expected this. Noé had presented his argument, sure, but this was still just an act. Vanitas didn’t need to get this upset.
“You don’t get it!” Vanitas exclaimed, crossing his arms defensively. “We are supposed to act like a couple, not act like we are in love! There is a clear difference obviously. So you can keep your honied eyes away from me. You don’t need to use them.” The same look he’d given Vanitas on the bell tower, the same look he’d given Vanitas when he’d emerged from the catacombs. A look that made Vanitas’s insides knot up.
Vanitas knew that Noé was just trying to mess with him. Vanitas had toyed with him too much and Noé was a stubborn and prideful man in his own way. He should have expected some retaliation. But that look! Vanitas’s mind was suddenly screaming. Teasing didn’t include those soft looks! And treating him with such gentle affection like he cared about him! Like he was something to be cared for? Unthinkable. If he wanted to tease, he should just tease. Not try and cut to the very core of Vanitas’s walls and masks at every turn. Vanitas wanted to purge the memory from his mind.
Noé was already changing him. Changing the world around him. First, he’d somehow made Vanitas voluntarily say such foolish words to Jeanne; words that Vanitas would never have given permission to leave his lips. Then, in consequence, she showered him with affection that Vanitas thought he wasn’t capable of receiving anymore. Vanitas had accepted the cold, accepted that he was beyond the point of feeling warmth. And now Noé was teasing Vanitas with warmth Vanitas knew existed in that too-good heart of his. Noé was making the world around Vanitas glow in ways Vanitas thought were beyond him, he couldn’t let himself get too close to that light.
Vanitas didn’t want to play with that kind of emotion. They were already too close. He was already invading his mind, making him worry, making him say things that he’d never say. Yes, Noé was already too close to him. Vanitas knew on some level their partnership involved a level of trust and concern. But their mutual support in battle was unspoken and useful. Anything more was unnecessary and Vanitas didn’t want either of them to think about it for too long. Even if they cared about each other, it should never be voiced if they wanted to make this partnership work. Their care should be wrapped under layers and layers of defense and unspoken words. So, Noé had no right to ruin their partnership by expressing any level of serious concern and care outside of their mission. They needed to respect the walls that needed to exist between them. They weren't friends. There shouldn’t be care between them. Not platonic. Not romantic. They were partners with a shared mission. That’s all they were. All they should be.
So, there should be no genuine care expressed through this charade. It was against the rules. Cheating their partnership that was built upon their unspoken boundaries. Unless it was life or death, they were nothing to each other.
But to Noé, Vanitas's words made no sense. Act like a couple, but not like they were in love? “What?” Noé stopped to analyze Vanitas’s expression, which was occasionally a bit more telling than the man’s words. Vanitas was red now, blushing from ear to neck in a way that Noé had never seen before. He hadn’t been flustered when kissing Jeanne on the mouth, so it likely wasn’t the kiss that was flustering him. It was clearly something else. But Noé didn’t see how his chaste kiss on the back of Vanitas’s hand was somehow more intrusive than Vanitas kissing Jeanne no matter how much he tossed the thought around in his mind.
“Okay, look,” Vanitas calmed down a bit, sounding very tired. “When I’m over the top and acting super sweet, that’s okay because that’s all in good fun right? It’s light-hearted. When you do…” Vanitas’s suddenly tripped a bit on his words, “when you do that you're not keeping it light-hearted and fun. Suddenly it's serious and there's absolutely no need for us to seem like we’re serious. So just stop it.”
“But I wasn’t doing it seriously?” Noé wasn’t sure why Vanitas cared. If it seemed like they were serious then that was all the better, was it not? Sure, Noé had tried to transmit a level of care, but it wasn’t like they were actually in love. It was just a mimicry. A mimicry of love based on what emotions existed between them.
Because they weren’t serious anyway, so it didn’t matter. It was an act. Vanitas paused at that so Noé repeated his words pointedly, “This is an act, it's not serious. I was just playing my role.”
Vanitas blinked a few times. “An act?”
Noé nodded carefully. “Yes. I was trying to tease you, since you were mocking me. But, yes, I was acting.”
Suddenly, Vanitas’s hot anger died—Vanitas looked at Noé with frigid daggers, his eyes narrowed into venomous slits.
Heartbeats of silence pulsed through the air.
The two didn’t move.
Vanitas started off in the distance, staring bitterly at the wall, the words ringing in the silent air.
This is an act, it’s not serious.
Ah. It was an act.
Then there were no emotions left on Vanitas’s face.
Vanitas realized he was being irrational this whole time.
Vanitas went blank in a way that made Noé worried. There was nothing in his expression, like everything from a moment ago had died a horrible death and left absolutely nothing in its wake. Noé wanted to take back what he said, not liking the hollow look that was settling into Vanitas’s icy eyes. There were gears and thoughts turning the cogs in Vanitas’s mind, Noé was sure. But Vanitas had locked him out, his expression saying nothing. Noé combed through his thoughts desperately trying to figure out what had caused Vanitas to retreat, but he couldn’t think of anything he said that was out of place.
Vanitas didn’t even think Noé worthy enough to share his emotions with now.
“You’re right,” Vanitas said with a deadpan. “It’s all an act so it’s fine if you pretend to make it seem serious. I can’t expect you to act like a flippant lover, it's not you. Of course, you need to act seriously. I was overcomplicating this. It's not actual affection at all this is all an act.” Turning on his heel, Vanitas turned around. Looking over his shoulder he shot Noé a cuttingly indifferent look, “You’re a better actor than I thought, Noé. Maybe even better at faking affection than me. I’m impressed. I’ll keep that in mind.”
When Vanitas walked away, Noé wanted to run after him. Something went wrong and Noé wasn’t feeling happy about it at all. He felt wrong and twisted up and the image of Vanitas’s cold eyes kept popping up in his head. The knowledge that he had caused that look. But Noé didn’t know what he did wrong and Vanitas wasn’t willing to share.
So, Noé was left alone in the corridor to chew over his thoughts over and over, trying to make a semblance of sense of Vanitas. But he wouldn’t stop trying and learning. If not only to get this twisted feeling from his gut to go away.