Chapter Text
Karlie is sick of wedding planning. Which is painful because she's been planning her dream wedding since she realized girls could marry other girls. All of her best wedding ideas hinged on there being two brides. A white wedding cake that revealed rainbow layers when it was cut. A sign that said, "Choose a seat, not a side, either way it's for a bride." Cutesy shit like that. She hadn't decided whether she'd wear a suit or a dress- her gender presentation had always been fluid. Being a model, androgyny was celebrated for the most part so she had been given a lot of freedom to experiment over the years.
She loves to wear dresses that hug her curves and show off her legs. When makeup artists ask her what look she's going for, she often tells them to make her look smoking and that she trusts them. But she also loves it when a stylist asks her if they can slick her hair back, put her in a leather jacket, and she gets to stare into the camera with a James Dean glower. She also knows she looks damn good in a suit.
Taylor had obviously wanted a huge poofy princess dress. She had always been the one who knew exactly what she wanted in their relationship.
Josh keeps asking her about flowers. He's very insistent that she take part in the planning because it's her fake wedding too! She knows she shouldn't resent him for trying to make the best of this shitstorm they've found themselves in. But he still has an actual partner. She just has him. And they're friends! Maybe even best friends. But it's not the same and they both know it.
She's being childish but she decides to wait until after the shoot to text him back. He cares way more about whether they have white roses or pink carnations or both. He's weirdly giddy about the whole thing. She just wants it to be over.
The shoot today is for SuperElle China. She's dressing in athleisure outfits by Stella McCartney and Louis Vuitton which she finds hilarious because she's essentially wearing overpriced yoga pants. But the clothes are cute and show off her abs. Take that, Taylor, she thinks. Talk about shiny abs.
Karlie tries not to think about her photo shoots as thirst traps directed at one woman. But it's difficult not to think about her ex seeing her looking hot as fuck on a billboard blown up to a size even Taylor Swift couldn't ignore. Sometimes during her wardrobe changes, she wonders what Taylor will think when she sees the finished product. She imagines Taylor seeing her face on a magazine cover and slamming it face down onto a waiting room coffee table so she doesn't have to confront the girl staring at her from the page. She also imagines Taylor scrolling through the image gallery online and studying each image for clues about Karlie's hidden emotions. (Karlie knows this is probably happening because Taylor did it with pictures of Dianna while Karlie was her girlfriend.)
It's satisfying to imagine Taylor's reaction to seeing Karlie's face plastered everywhere. But Karlie can't quite bury the part of her that wants to Facetime Taylor to show her every outfit change throughout the day. She wants to send her photos from the changing room with the sports bra she's modeling pulled down exposing her nipples. She wants to imagine Taylor's embarrassed squeak when the picture pops up on her phone screen. She wants to send Taylor pictures of her relaxing at home after she's wiped all of the makeup off at the end of the day. If she's being honest, she wants Taylor to be waiting for her at their place, with her ridiculous cats and a mixed drink with too many parts alcohol.
"They're ready for you," an assistant says, a bit timidly.
Karlie puts her shoulders back and gives the woman a warm smile. "Thank you so much," she says. "What's your name?"
"Alex," she replies.
"Thank you so much for your hard work today, Alex."
Alex laughs and says, "Oh my god, thank you."
Karlie walks over to stand in front of the cameras and gets to work She knows how to make everyone in the room feel like they're her best friend and she knows how to convince a camera to show off her particular brand of sunshine. She lets herself get lost in it for a while. It ends too quickly. She doesn't want to go back to Josh's place and she doesn't want to think about Nashville. All she wants to think about is Nashville.
When she gets to the place that is technically hers and Josh's in the West Village, she's exhausted. Josh is sitting in the living room watching the news. He looks up when she walks through the door.
He scrunches his eyebrows together when he sees her expression and says, "What's wrong, Karls?"
She throws herself onto the couch next to him. "You know what's wrong."
"Ah yes," he says. "The classic Miss Taylor Swift dilemma."
"Don't tease me, Josh," she says. "She's the love of my life."
"I know," he says.
"Let's call it off." She shifts position to sit cross legged facing him. "Let's call off the wedding."
He sighs. "You know we can't-"
"Why not? I'm so goddamn tired of lying. Aren't you?"
He doesn't say anything for a few seconds and then finally, he shows her his phone. "My asshole brother is in the news again."