Chapter Text
In the stories they all loved so much, (especially Roman), things would have instantly gone back to normal, a carefree return to when things were simpler and the problems more easily solved. Time and comfort would smooth over all the pain, no matter how long it took, until it was hardly even a memory.
...Yeah, this wasn’t like those stories. Not by a long shot.
Despite the effects of Romans return being nearly immediate- Remus being reigned in, Romans castle and realm returned to their former splendor, to name a few- Roman himself was still painfully obvious in how much what had happened had scarred and haunted him.
The Creative Side’s dramatic outbursts were almost non-existent, and there seemed to always be a look of panic and terror hidden in his eyes, as if one wrong word, move, or touch would cause him to bolt, fall completely apart, or some combination of the two.
What was even harder for the others to watch was how clearly, how desperately Roman was trying to hide how not ok he really was. He attempted to go through all of his previous motions, but without an ounce of genuine meaning behind any of his smiles or actions. If the others continued to feel guilty for how much of his pain had gone unseen before, it was nothing to his they felt now that it was fully on display all the time, and nothing they tried seemed to make any difference.
Despite how pathetic he must have known his attempts were, especially compared to how well he’d masked his pain in the past, Roman persisted. He completely shut out any attempts of help or comfort while somehow still managing to never make any effort to deny that he wasn’t okay.
The others couldn’t avoid coming to same the horrible conclusion. Roman had given in to the shame of what he’d done, and had resolved to what he likely thought would be the only way for him to be spared the rejection he feared more then anything- becoming a mirror, a mere reflection of what he thought everyone else wanted to see and wanted him to be.
Thomas and Virgil appeared to be the most affected. Thomas had taken some personal time away from the actual creative process for a few days to focus on the more logistical work needed, knowing it would be completely useless to try anything creative in his current state and knowing the Sides needed a break and some space.
Saying Virgil was an inch from a panic attack at any given moment would be putting it mildly (it was honestly more like a few millimeters, if that). The only thing that kept the thread of his sanity from snapping completely was catching glimpses of Patton and Logan when they’d enter a room too quickly or be summoned unexpectedly, desperately trying to smooth out rumpled clothing and hair while hiding their flushed faces. That one bright spot of seeing them happy despite the current stress was enough to keep Virgil going, even if just barely.
Eventually, Thomas couldn't take anymore, finally summoning Logan, Patton, and Virgil to his living room.
"Hey kiddo!" Patton said, smile still not reaching his eyes, though at least it was more genuine then a certain Prince's most recent efforts.
"Greetings Thomas," Logan added with a nod, straightening his glasses and likely already having guessed the reason for their being summoned.
Virgil merely gave a huff and a half-committed nod in Thomas's direction. He didn't trust himself to speak since the sight tremors in his hands that were currently hidden in his hoodie pockets was the only evidence of just how on edge he was.
"Hey guys," Thomas said with a weak smile and a small wave, before sighing reluctantly. "Look, please don't tell me I'm the only one that feels like things are still a mess around here?"
They all visibly deflated at that, shaking their heads as Logan replied, "No, you're correct Thomas, we've all felt it."
"How can we help kiddo?" Patton asked, eyes pleading for something, anything to do to help.
"I think we need to get Roman here. I don't care who it is, but he has to talk to someone," Thomas asserted, looking around the room to ensure they were all in agreement. Once he'd received nods of confirmation from everyone, Thomas called out with forced cheeriness, "Hey Roman? You there bud?"
Rising up with his usual dramatic flourish, Roman greeted then with false bravato and a phoney smile. "Indeed I am, Thomas my man! How may I be of service to my esteemed clustor of commoners?" He visibly tensed once he registered the agitation in the room, forcing his smile just a little wider.
"Whoops, looks like I'm Prince of the Party crashers today. My apologies Thomas, I didn't realize I was so late responding to my summons," he finished with a strained chuckle.
“Actually Roman, you’re right on time...” Logan said slowly and evenly, trying to emit an aura of calm that only seemed to agitate Roman further.
“We just wanted to... you know...” Patton cut in, gesturing vaguely with a helpless look at clearly not having had any inspiration before actually speaking as Roman waved him off with a breezy laugh.
“While I truly appreciate your requesting my company, I’m afraid I simply must...” Roman rambled, before being cut off with a startled yelp as Thomas slammed a hand on the coffee table, eyes fiercely locked on Roman and gaze effectively pinning him in place.
“You. Us. Talking. Now.” Thomas snapped, the pent-up energy and emotion immediately melting off of him only when it was clear Roman wasn’t going to bail again, leaving him looking worn and beat down.
Running his fingers through his hair in frustration, Thomas asked desperately, “Is this seriously what it’s going to be like from now on? You hell-bent on letting yourself be miserable and just expecting us to watch? What was the point of you even coming back?”
Gasping in horror, Patton stammered, “Thomas! Why would...”
“I’m serious!” Thomas ranted, too worked up to stop, “Did anything we said to you get through? Or do you just think that little of us that you still think we only want you around out of necessity? Do you really think we would have done everything we did to get you back if this,” he gestured wildly in Romans direction, “Was all we wanted?! We want you, Roman. All of your zany, over-the top, awesome self, not some cheap, lifeless carbon copy!”
Eyes falling to the floor, face blank, Roman mumbled, “I didn’t...”
“We don’t expect things to go back to normal over night,” Thomas said, voice becoming more gentle as he spoke. “But what we do expect is that you don’t shut us out. We all messed up in this scenario, are you gonna let us all stew here in our regrets and guilt of how we screwed things up?”
Breath hitching, Roman stuttered, “O-of course not, you had every right to be furious at me for hiding who I was for so long...”
“And you had every right to feel betrayed by our negative reactions,” Logan insisted, “To err is to be human, but so is to learn from our missteps and become better for them.”
“Yeah!” Patton agreed with a fervent nod, “Like we said before, you can’t keep yourself from experiencing your feelings! They come no matter what, and you can’t avoid dealing with them and working through them forever.”
When Roman remained silent, shifting nervously, Virgil spoke with a sigh, “Ro, I’m gonna say the same thing I said to these guys when this crap all began. You lied, you were an idiot, you messed up, but so did everyone else. You’re feeling guilty about how you handled your secrets, they’re feeling guilty about how they reacted. The only way this gets better for everyone is if we all get over ourselves and stop wallowing. This coming from the king of wallowing, but whatever,” Virgil snorted, rolling his eyes.
“Point is, either everyone gets to move on, or no one does. One person not letting it go screws it up for everyone else, agreed?” Virgil questioned, raising an eyebrow.
After a moment of silence, Roman said with a hesitant nod, “I... suppose you’re right... if you all believe I’m still worthy of a second chance, I’ll do my best to prove I’m worthy of it.”
“You were never unworthy of it Roman,” Thomas said instantly, an encouraging smile finally making its way onto his relieved face. “You‘ve proven for years how much you care about all of us. Let’s all just agree to start again, flaws and all, yeah?”
At everyone’s enthusiastic nods, Roman finally gave the first genuine smile they’d seen in weeks, causing the weight that had settled on them to almost visibly lift.
“So, we all good?” Thomas asked, gaze lingering on Roman.
“Yeah... yeah, we are,” Roman agreed, that familiar sparkle finally starting to come back into his eyes.
“Excellent,” Logan said, a satisfied smile on his face, “I suppose I’d best take my leave if there are no objections. Video schedules to attend to, business trips to organize, I really must get a start on finalizing details for that new sponsor...” Logan trailed off, sinking out while still rattling off absently.
Giggling fondly, Patton said, “Better make sure he doesn’t run himself into the ground, see ya soon kiddos!” Grinning with cheery wave.
Snickering, Virgil said with a shake of his head, “Yeah, Logan’s not gonna get much done. Later guys, see you when I’ve recovered from too much socializing and can handle people again,” giving his two finger salute with a wink before sinking out.
Starting at Virgil’s departure, Roman said hastily, “I think it’s time I take my leave too, count on me popping in for some... uh... brainstorming soon, ok Thomas?” Roman said, only half paying attention to Thomas’s response.
“Ok, see yah Princey...” Thomas said, quirking his head in confusion but ultimately shrugging it off. Another question for another day.
Three quick knocks later, and Roman was nervously shifting from foot to foot, head snapping back to the door as it slowly opened.
“Uh, hey Roman...” Virgil said, face briefly showing his confusion before quickly sliding into a teasing smirk.
“What’s up? Is this about my sick nasty Tim Burton posters again? Pretty sure I gave my answer,” he grinned teasingly.
“Are you going to insist on bringing that up every time I visit?” Roman scoffed, rolling his eyes playfully.
“Yup,” Virgil chuckled, popping the p for emphasis while waiting for Roman to explain the visit.
Before he could lose his nerve, Roman asked, “You mind if we talk? Maybe in my room? We’ve seen how well I handle yours...” he trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.
“Y-yeah... ok, sure...” Virgil stuttered, immediately becoming jittery as they made their way to the ornate gold room. Though he hadn’t been there often, it was still a relief to see the numerous movie and musical posters, various Knick knacks and treasures, and multitude of artistic, music, and writing supplies just as he remembered them.
Sitting on the luxurious red and gold bed before patting a spot next to him, Roman waited until Virgil was seated before beginning slowly, “I just wanted to officially take the time to say... thank you Virge. I left things in a complete mess, and it’s pretty obvious you picked up the pieces of explaining everything to everyone to make sure the door was open and ready for when I came back. It’s more then I deserved right then, so... thank you,” Roman finished, face pink and hands absently twisting the sheets.
"Would you stop doing that?" Virgil muttered, huffing in annoyance. "Self deprecation is my thing, remember? That's why we just had that talk-"
"Why did you hate me so much... before?" Roman blurted, tensing as the words came tumbling out with more force then he'd intended. "Sorry, it's just... I know my hostility was a huge factor, but in the beginning I always thought it was because you knew who I'd been and viewed me as a threat. But after confirming that you'd literally had no clue until I confessed to you..."
"I... I never hated you!" Virgil cut him off, stammering in shock. "I... I looked up to you. I admired you. You were the one that held everyone together, that gave everyone purpose, a common goal. You know that kind of thing didn't exactly exist in the darkside," Virgil said with a shrug.
"You're... not wrong..." Roman agreed with a slight shutter.
"When you shut me out... I lashed out, made the situation even worse. I was a total jerk, didn't take time to care where you were coming from. When you came to talk to me... I finally got it. You didn't have to trust me or open up to me, but you did. That... meant a lot..." Virgil trailed off, blushing furiously.
Grinning with a matching blush, Roman took Virgils hand and gave it an affectionate squeeze, "Aw, I knew I was the reason you decided to stick with the purple!" He smirked, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly.
“Shut up Romano!” Virgil retorted, shoving his shoulders playfully in an unsuccessful attempt to hide his face becoming even redder.
Gasping dramatically with his familiar offended Princey noises, Roman placed a hand on his heart before crying, “Such an assault on my honor! I’ll make sure you pay, mark my words!”
“Good luck with that cheese roll, I’ll believe it when I see it,” Virgil taunted, smug look only increasing.
Acting so fast his mind didn’t have a prayer of thinking it though first, Roman leaned into and pressed their lips together, hand reaching up to cradle Virgil’s neck and pull him closer as his eyes slid closed. He let himself deepen the kiss for a bit, their lips moving together as if they’d done it a thousand times, and he could swear he heard Virgil sigh as he blissfully melted into the kiss.
Only when his brain had frantically caught up with him did he pull away slightly, eyes wide and gasping breathlessly, mouth open in shock.
“I... that was... I’m sure that’s not what you...” he rambled, ending with a squeak of surprise he’d deny ever making as Virgil grabbed the front of his tunic and yanked him back into another kiss, effectively silencing him as he slid an arm around Virgil's waist with a euphoric hum.
"Jumping to conclusions? You've gotta stop stealing my gig Ro," Virgil murmured when he finally slowed the kiss to a stop, lips quirking in a small smile.
Giggling like a lovestruck idiot, Roman responded, "Remus is never gonna let me live this down..." beaming smile and glazed eyes showing just how little he actually cared.
And if everyone lost it when the two next appeared still lovingly clinging to one another? Well, they couldn't bring themselves to mind that either.