Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

1.

Jin and Suga are big names in the music industry. 

Both are always ranking in the Top 10 of every chart and especially in their specific genres, Pop/Rock for Jin and Rap/Hip-Hop for Suga. Because of how rarely their genres collide, they seldom cross paths; unlike how their names are in the charts, close/next to each other at most times. But what people outside of their very close social circles don't know is that Jin and Suga know each other very well. They've known each other well before the world did, back when they were still just Seokjin and Yoongi. 

They were neighbors, childhood friends you could say. But they weren't really close like that, just played in the park together like every other kid in their small neighborhood. But Yoongi always thought that Seokjin had pretty eyes, big and kind. While Seokjin always liked Yoongi's smile; it made him want to smile with him.

High school was when they really started to circle each other's orbits. They were the only ones from their neighborhood who went to the same high school downtown. Also their classrooms were next to each other, so naturally they spent their lunch at the rooftop and waited for each other so they could go home together. 

When Yoongi joined the basketball team, Seokjin would go to all of their matches and cheer for him, sometimes (all the time) even more loudly than the official cheering team. When Seokjin joined the drama club, Yoongi would always sit at the front row during their shows and encouraged (dragged) his teammates, his classmates, and literally everyone he knew to watch with him too. 

Eventually, people started seeing them less and less as two separate people and more as an inseparable pair, attached at the hip, never one without the other. If either of them were found alone, they'd always be asked where the other one was. They didn't mind the questions, it was harmless and, really, that was on them since they spent every waking moment together. "Introverts unite!" Seokjin once cheered when Yoongi asked him if he thought it was weird that they never hung out with anyone else. 

But when Yoongi ended up at the receiving end of a confession and he told the girl no, she asked if it was because of Seokjin. Yoongi was about to say no but then his heart said that that didn't feel right. The girl then asks him why he and Seokjin were so inseparable. Were they together or were they not? Did he like Seokjin?

Yoongi didn't have a single answer to any of her questions. He says he's sorry before turning away and walking in the opposite direction. His phone chimes just as he turns the corner. He knows it's from Seokjin because he set the ringtone to the other boy's laugh and that's when he realizes that he. set. the. ringtone. to. Seokjin's. laugh. He stops, unable to focus on Seokjin's message: "Yoongichiii~ I'm at the gate. Where are youuuu? Let's buy food before we go home. I'm hungryyyy"

Yoongi doesn't know why but the nickname that Seokjin gave him and which he's never blinked an eye to, suddenly makes his stomach turn and he doesn't know what this feeling is but he knows that the last thing he wants to do right now is face Seokjin. 

He hastily types in his reply: "Ah hyung, sorry I forgot to text you. I wasn't feeling well so I went ahead. Sorry."

He presses send and not a minute later, Seokjin's laugh rings in the hallway.

"Aigooo you should have told me >_< and yeah you should be sorry. But hyung will forgive you if you make sure to rest well ok?"

"I will. Thanks hyung."

":*" 

Yoongi's stomach turns again and he waits for a while before leaving school. For the first time since they became high school students, Yoongi and Seokjin went home on their own. 

2.

Yoongi is fresh out of the shower when he hears their doorbell ring. His mother calls from the kitchen for him to get it since she was busy.

When he opens the door, he instantly regrets it because in front of him is an angry-looking Seokjin, the older boy's eyebrows furrowed and cheeks puffed out (which reminds Yoongi of a hamster and it slightly subsides the regret he feels because Seokjin looks more cute than threatening and--no, no he is NOT going there. Focus, Yoongi, focus!).

He meekly puts a hand up and tries for a weak smile, "H-hey, hyung--" 

"You lied to me!" Seokjin points a finger at him.

"Huh?"

"You texted me that you weren't feeling well and that you went home before I did. So I got you some oranges and even this fancy isotonic drink from the drug store but when I got here Auntie tells me that you hadn't gotten home yet! But you know what the kicker was? Byulyi texts me that she saw you at school with a girl from class C and that she was confessing to you. You couldn't have just told me that? Were you with her when you texted me? Why did you have to lie to me, Yoongi, huh? Don't you trust me? You could have just said that you were with a girl. I would have understood."

"I wasn't with her," Yoongi mumbles.

The frow on Seokjin's brow deepens.

"What?"

"I said, I wasn't with her."

"Where were you then? Why'd you say that you went home?"

"I--"

"You?"

Yoongi takes a deep breath before looking Seokjin straight in the eyes.

"I didn't want to see you."

Yoongi regrets his decisions for the second time that night as Seokjin's face falls with his answer. 

(If the ground could just swallow Yoongi up, pretty please, because the world does not need his amount of stupidity to inhabit this current plane of existence.)

Seokjin nods his head absentmindedly, stepping backwards away from Yoongi.

"I see," he says dejectedly before turning away. "I guess I did ask for it but I think I liked your lie way better." 

Yoongi wants to slap himself a million times but instead he lets out a frustrated groan, reaching for Seokjin before he gets too far away.

"Hyung wait. I didn't mean it like that."

Yoongi's fingers wrap tightly around Seokjin's wrist and the older stops in his tracks before turning back to him, his expression a mixture of sadness, uncertainty, and trying not to be.

"What did you mean then?" he asks quietly.

"I--" Yoongi purses his lips before continuing. "Can I ask you a question first?"

Seokjin’s face scrunches in confusion.

"You already did but sure."

"We're friends, right?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course we are. You know, I should be the one asking you that since you're the one who said you didn't want to see me--"

"But what if I wanted to be more?"

"Huh?"

"If I wanted to be more but you didn't want to, can we still be friends? Would you still want to be friends with me?" 

Seokjin blinks at him, the older searching his face for a while before slowly answering, "Who said I didn't want to?" 

Now it's Yoongi's turn to blink at Seokjin, not sure if he heard him right. He doesn't miss the way Seokjin's ears immediately turn red though, a telltale sign that he is embarrassed. Yoongi uses it as a sign for something else in this case.

"Really, hyung? You mean that?" 

Seokjin rolls his eyes, his ears even redder than peppers now. "Of course I do. What does this even have to do with what you were saying anyway? Why are you asking me if we're friends? We'll always be friends regardless if we both wanted to be more than that." 

Yoongi doesn't stop the laughter escaping his lips.

"Yah! What's so funny, Min Yoongi?"

"Nothing. I just feel a little silly."

Seokjin clicks his tongue but Yoongi knows its just for show.

"Well, would you stop being silly and just tell me why you didn't want to see me?" 

"Ah. The reason I didn't want to see you, hyung, is because I think I'm in love with you." 

3.

When those words fell from Yoongi's lips, Seokjin's heart did the complete opposite and flew straight towards the sky. 

He'd only ever felt this overwhelmingly happy for three other times in his life: when his parents gave him his very first pet, when his older brother gifted him a video game console, and when Yoongi played the piano for him on his birthday as a surprise. For all those three times, Seokjin cried like a baby. This time was also no exception.

If he had to be honest, he never thought that it was possible for his best friend to ever like him the way he did. For one thing, he didn't even dare to think that anyone or anything could come between Yoongi and his two first loves, music and basketball. It's all the younger truly invested his time in, even though Yoongi prefers to keep his passion for the former something that only the people he truly trusts knows. Seokjin is more than thankful that he has the honor of being one of them.

He had been satisfied with watching Yoongi from a close distance. Self-sacrificing though it may be, he thought that was all he could afford to have, not willing to sacrifice more than he could afford to lose. But standing in front of Yoongi's house and Yoongi's hand still firmly holding onto his wrist like a lifeline, he thought to himself that maybe he could have this. If Yoongi wanted it too, he would.

He feels Yoongi's thumb slide over his cheek, the action causing butterflies to erupt in a frantic dance inside his stomach.

"Why are you crying?" the younger asks him, as if he didn't know.

Yoongi is very smart; he just chooses not to flaunt it. So Seokjin tells him why.

"Because I'm in love with you too." 

After that, high school passes by in a flurry of autumn leaves and snowflakes before ending with the blooming of flowers. Of course nothing much changed between the two of them. They're still inseparable, attached at the hip, never one without the other. But Seokjin adds another word to describe and commemorate what they've chosen to become together.

"Unbreakable?" Yoongi puts an eyebrow up as he watches Seokjin's character climb platforms on the computer screen.

"Yeah. Or is that too cheesy? It's cheesy, isn't it? Ah sorry. Forget I ever said anything." 

"Hyung."

"Yeah?"

Yoongi responds by pointedly looking at the computer screen and together they watch Seokjin's character get pushed off the platform by another player just as he's about to beat his record.

"Fucking--" Seokjin curses under his breath, covering his face with his hands as he screams internally.

Yoongi watches his boyfriend (boyfriend!!!) quietly lose it before turning Seokjin's chair around to face him. He reaches forward and gently takes Seokjin's hands away from his face. Seokjin looks at him with a pout so deep Yoongi just wants to kiss it away.

Before Yoongi realizes what he's doing, his face is inches away from Seokjin's. He almost flinches backwards but Seokjin's eyes look at him expectantly and, under the dim light of Seokjin's bedroom with the glow of the computer behind him, they look a lot prettier than they usually do. So, his mind tells him to just screw it. He turns the inches into centimeters and the centimeters into nothing. He keeps it short but sweet. Pulling away, he looks to the side before coughing into his hand.

"I don't mind it," he tells Seokjin to distract himself from the reality of what he's just done.

From the corner of his eyes, he sees Seokjin tilt his head in question.

"Don't mind what?"

"Calling us unbreakable. It seems... fitting."

"Really? You don't think it's cheesy?"

"Oh it's definitely cheesy. But again, I don't mind." 

He feels Seokjin's fingers wrap around his hands and he can't keep himself from looking away anymore.

Seokjin smiles at him in that way that makes his eyes crinkle at the sides and Yoongi's whole being to want to always keep him safe and happy just to continue seeing that smile on his face.

"I'm glad," Seokjin says to him and Yoongi replies by etching a promise into his heart.

"Let's stay unbreakable forever, hyung."

Seokjin nods back at him.

"I'd like that." 

4.

College calls for them both to move out of their small neighborhood. They find an apartment in the city close to their chosen universities and bid their families goodbyes with assurances that they would come home during breaks and important holidays. 

Yoongi takes up Music Production while Seokjin chooses to major in Acting. The future in front of them looms heavy with many uncertainties but they stand tall because they are together and together they are stronger, better than they've ever been, and most of all, unbreakable. 

It was in the second month of their first semester when Seokjin comes home with a story to tell Yoongi.

"--and before they left, they gave me this calling card and told me to think about it. I mean I know I'm good-looking but for them to actually run after me FROM the bus stop and halfway through campus grounds, their dedication is impressive in and of itself."

'Or they're desperate,' Yoongi thinks to himself before asking Seokjin to see the calling card.

Upon reading the name of the company on the sleek holographic card, Yoongi's eyes almost jump out of their sockets as his hands start to shake with excitement or disbelief, he's not exactly sure. Maybe a mixture of both.

"Hyung, you were scouted by CME."

"Hmm? Yeah, I mean, their name is on the card."

"No, hyung. It's not just that. They're one of the biggest--if not THE biggest music corporation in the entire world. They have all of the biggest names in the industry signed under their label. Them personally scouting you, that's a huge--no, not just huge. It's the opportunity of a lifetime!"

Seokjin raises both his eyebrows before taking the card back from him. He carefully peruses the card on both its front and back sides before humming.

"But I want to be an actor not a singer."

"They have actors in their roster too. Of course they were singers before they went into acting but CME's connections can guarantee pretty much any career path in the entertainment industry. Who's that singing celebrity chef you always binge watch when you're stressed?"

"Analisa Park?"

"Yeah, her. She's under CME and debuted as a pop singer before she started doing cooking shows. She was a sensation in her day. I think mom has a couple of her albums."

"Huh."

"Yeah. I'm just saying, hyung. That calling card is your ticket to the world."

Seokjin looks back at the card and traces the embossed lettering with his finger.

"I don't sing well, though."

"Are you kidding me?!"

Yoongi's sudden outburst makes him jump that he accidentally throws the calling card into the air. It lands on the floor with a loud splat. Yoongi looks at him sheepishly before ducking his head and rushing to pick the card up. He places it back in Seokjin's hand before rubbing the back of his head.

"Sorry."

"Mmhhmm."

"But I'm serious, hyung. You sing really well."

"Oh stop lying to me, Min Yoongi."

Yoongi shakes his head. "I'm not lying. Your voice is my favorite. I know you think I'm asleep when you sing under your breath but the truth is I can't fall asleep without it. I can't fall asleep without hearing you sing."

Seokjin feels his ears start to burn at Yoongi's revelation and he moves to cover his face but Yoongi's hands are faster. He feels the younger’s fingers intertwine tightly with his as if the intensity in Yoongi's eyes and in the words he's about to say won't be enough to make him believe.

"I swear to you, Kim Seokjin. Your voice makes my heart swell with so many emotions I don't know what to do with but I'm more than sure I keep falling harder for you every single time. If the world had the chance to listen to you sing, then and only then can they begin to understand why I am the way I am when it comes to you. I'm more than sure of it." 

In the recesses of his mind, Seokjin can hear the distant keys of a piano start to play the theme song of the soundtrack that is his love life. He is the main character in a romance drama with Yoongi as his love interest and by God does he know that this analogy sounds as stupid as he feels. But the matter of fact is he's so in love with Yoongi, he loses all sense of rationality. In front of him is the one person who can turn his insides into mush just at a single glance. And when Yoongi starts to spout poetic shit like this, his brain goes haywire from the ridiculousness of it all. Still he loves it. 

And he loves Yoongi. Oh, how he loves Yoongi.

Without warning, Seokjin buries his face in Yoongi's chest before wrapping his arms tightly around the younger’s torso. He's very well aware about the state of his ears right now but he can't help it.

"Why?" he asks exasperatedly.

"Why what?"

"Why'd you have to say it like that?"

"It's the truth. How else was I supposed to say it? Your voice puts the beat in my heart."

"Aigoo, Min Yoongi!" Seokjin whines as he buries his face deeper into the younger’s chest. 

"What?" Yoongi asks him but Seokjin doesn't grace him with a response, just tightens his hold on the younger’s torso to hide from his apparent embarrassment.

They stay like that for a few beats until Seokjin feels Yoongi's fingers card through his hair gently. 

"Hey, hyung," he starts softly. "You don't have to accept the offer if you don't want to. But just know that I meant everything that I said. You're good at singing. You've always been good."

"..."

"..."

"Yoongichi?"

"Yeah?"

"If they asked you instead of me, would you take it?" 

"Well, being asked by itself would be the dream. Taking it would make it come true. And with how things are in this industry, nothing would have been easier."

"I see."

"But you and I are different, hyung. Do what your heart tells you, yeah?"

"Hmm."

"I'll always support you in whatever you choose."

"..."

"Hyung?"

"Thank you, Yoongichi. I'll do my best to support you too. We're in this together."

"Yeah." A pause. "Unbreakable, right?"

A small smile makes its way to Seokjin's face.

"Yeah. Unbreakable." 

5.

Seokjin's life turns a notch more hectic as he becomes a trainee on top of being a college student. Though CME said it was okay for him to continue taking the amount of units he has for his first semester and that they'd adjust his training time accordingly, it doesn't prevent him from coming home in the dead of the night and feeling like he just sold his soul to his vocal coach and dance instructors. 

He starts to wear pain relief patches almost all the time which he's only seen on Yoongi back when he played basketball. It's not entirely unpleasant but his and Yoongi's room now smells like camphor and eucalyptus extract and he doesn't know exactly what to feel about that. Juggling his time between studies and training has left him with little time for everything else, however, and he does feel rather guilty that he can't spend as much time with Yoongi, his other friends, and his family as he'd like to. 

He admits as much to Yoongi when the delirium and exhaustion from exams and his trainee evaluations begin to overtake him. Yoongi--bless his heart--assures him that he has nothing to feel sorry for and it's something they just have to deal with because success can't be achieved without sacrifices.

"But it feels so unfair to you and--"

Yoongi prevents him from speaking further by pressing a finger to his lips.

"Hyung. If it was the other way around and I was in your place and you were in mine, would you feel it was unfair?"

"I--well, that's an unfair question because I'd do anything to support you even if it means--"

He stops speaking midway as his words catch up to the pointed look Yoongi was giving him. He hangs his head in shame at what he just insinuated.

"I'm sorry."

"Hey," Yoongi gently urges him. "I told you you have nothing to be sorry for. We made a promise remember?"

"Yeah..."

"Hyung, look at me."

Seokjin blinks away the tears that start to prick the edge of his eyes and looks up to meet Yoongi's gummy smile. 

"I'll always be here for you even if we don't see each other anymore because loving you and supporting you are beside the fact. You mean the world to me and nothing, absolutely nothing, can stop me from feeling that way about you. You helped me overcome so many things in ways I don't think you even know and I'll forever be grateful for you because of that. Let me do the same thing for you now."

Seokjin's lips start to quiver and he has to close his eyes so as not to bawl in front of Yoongi then and there.

"What did I do to deserve you?" 

"You didn't need to do anything."

Really, Seokjin couldn't believe how lucky he was to have Yoongi in his life. Call him anything you want and he wouldn't bat an eye but say something against Yoongi and it would be a different story. They may be young and barely know what life is truly about but if there's something he's sure of is that his heart will always speak of Yoongi until it stops beating. He may not be as brazen or vocal about it but his feelings for Yoongi will always be there like an undercurrent beneath the waves. 

6.

Another year passes the both of them by and life goes on like it usually does. They both reach their second year of university. Seokjin gets a lesser number of units than his peers to devote more time for training while Yoongi dabbles in making and producing music independently, using social media as a platform to make a name for himself. They still live together. They still are together. And not a single thing has managed to get in the way of that.

It continues as such for a year and a half more. Yoongi is in his fourth year of university now and is very close to graduating. He has steadily gained a following on his SNS accounts and has become quite known in the indie music scene through his PD name of Suga (courtesy of Seokjin who likened the paleness of his skin to white sugar). His current project is to release an EP before graduation and he's getting there. There's just one song he's trying to get right but nothing he can't handle.

Seokjin, on the other hand, is also in his fourth year of university. However, because he has been taking less than the typical amount of units in his major, he's going to have to stay in university for a couple more years to finish his degree. His training in CME is also going about as well as it could. 

He still comes home late and at times has to pull all-nighters to keep up with the demands of university and training but his and Yoongi's room smells less and less of pain relief patches and all of his trainers, coaches, and instructors tell him his progress is at a steady incline. He is also receiving more and more praises and his manager tells him this is favorable for his prospects in the company. 

It is during the rare instance where Seokjin gets to go home early that he walks in on Yoongi in the middle of a call with someone.

"Yes, sir! Of course that could be arranged."

Yoongi turns to him with an excited grin on his face and he can't help but start to feel excited as well. He continues to listen to Yoongi's end of the conversation as he places his things on their kitchen counter.

"Yes. Yes. No, thank you so much for this once in a lifetime opportunity, sir! Yes, I'll keep in touch. Thank you again, sir. Bye."

Yoongi ends the call and spends a good ten seconds collecting himself before turning to Seokjin with glossy eyes and grabby hands. This is, of course, Yoongi code for 'I need to be held' and Seokjin would be doing a great disservice to the universe if he didn't comply.

He takes wide strides to quickly lessen the distance between him and Yoongi but upon reaching the younger, Seokjin feels the wind get knocked out of him as Yoongi headbutts him in the chest--which is surprising in and of itself but then the younger proceeds to hug him first and very tightly too. 

It takes him a couple of beats to process what just happened when he feels Yoongi's hands shaking against his back. His initial shock fades instantly and he hugs Yoongi back at once, rubbing one hand up and down the younger’s back and placing a kiss on his temple for good measure. He doesn't say anything, knowing that Yoongi himself would once he's ready.

Sure enough, after 5 minutes, Yoongi looks up at him with the cutest puppy dog eyes Seokjin's ever seen on him.

"Hyung. I think I might need a manager."

"Hmm. Do you want me to ask noona if she could manage you too?" 

"No. Not noona. But do you think she has other manager friends willing to take in an indie artist? Preferably someone not as high-strung as she is."

"I'm not sure. The other managers in the company are all equally intense but I could ask."

"Aahh hyung, is this really happening?" 

Seokjin finds a fond smile breaking onto his lips at Yoongi's disbelief at whatever it is he and the man on the phone talked about. It was adorable. Yoongi's adorable. His boyfriend is adorable.

Seokjin shakes his head, "If you tell me what it is first maybe I could answer that." 

Yoongi looks at him with a blank expression before his eyes widen a fraction and he pulls away from Seokjin.

"Right! I haven't told you yet. I'm getting ahead of myself again. Sorry."

"It's okay, baby. Just take your time. I'll wait forever for you."

"Now, look who's being a sweet talker."

"But you like it."

"I really do."

Yoongi takes a deep breath before looking up and shaking his hands. He starts to open his mouth to speak but clamps it shut at the last second. Seokjin tries his best to look as reassuring as possible, even putting his two thumbs up to lighten the mood. Yoongi throws him a grateful glance before shaking his hands again. One more deep breath and slowly but surely Yoongi manages to get the words out. 

Seokjin's eyes widen at Yoongi's big news, experiencing for himself the disbelief that Yoongi expressed not too long ago.

"Could you--could you say that again?"

"XTBC called to say that they want to use my song as an OST for one of their shows. Of course I have to remix it a bit to fit the feel of the show more. Though they said they also want to use its original stripped version for certain scenes in the show. But they still need to discuss it with the producers so they'll be contacting me again--hyung, stop crying! I tried so hard to keep it in. Don't cry or you'll make me cry too!"

From his blurry field of vision, Seokjin could just make out the line of tears that are now sliding down Yoongi's cheeks. Laughter bubbles up from within him and he lets it out as loud as he can while closing the distance between him and Yoongi for the second time that afternoon. But this time, instead of going for a hug, he cups Yoongi's face and presses his lips against the younger’s, smiling as he does so. 

With their faces both streaked with tears, the kiss was wet and a mess but it didn't matter. They were happy and these were happy tears. He then proceeds to pepper Yoongi's entire face with short kisses--the younger only protesting once, to which he obliges immediately. He goes back for one more kiss on the lips though before pressing his and Yoongi's foreheads together. 

His pupils dilated as wide as the euphoria and adrenaline rushing all over his body, Seokjin looks for Yoongi's hands and, once he finds them, interlocks their fingers together before saying breathlessly, "Congratulations, baby. You did it." 

7.

Yoongi's song became an instant hit, propelling him and his work into the general public's eye. After hearing that he was an indie artist, music companies left and right clamoured to have him sign with them. It was a bit overwhelming at first especially since he was still yet to graduate. But the opportunities lining up at his doorstep assured him that wherever he would go, success can be achieved. He just had to be smart about it and play his cards right. He is just a rookie producer regardless of his newfound fame. He needs to cultivate it well to keep himself from fading before he even has the chance to truly prove himself.

He ends up signing with NWGRND, a music company which focuses mainly on rap, hip-hop, and RnB which are the genres he's most attuned to. He also liked that they mainly work with indie creators and underground rappers, giving them a platform to spread their music to a larger audience but also allowing them to maintain their creative freedom. It was really a perfect fit, if he did say so himself.

He gets assigned a manager who mainly handles the business and prospective sides of his career. But more importantly, his manager is the complete opposite of Seokjin's manager. Not that he doesn't like noona per se, but she really is too intense for him. His manager is a lot more chill and approachable, something he terribly appreciates because dealing with people can be difficult sometimes. Or people find that they don't know how to deal with him; he's been told that before. But his manager hasn't shown any signs that he's uncomfortable with Yoongi yet so he takes what he is given.

Being signed to a company shows him a world that he's only heard of from his professors who have or are currently experiencing it. His days are now clustered into schedules. Meetings upon meetings bombard his days and he now has to attend shoots and interviews from one side of the city to another. It's exhausting but he knows that all of it is necessary to cement his position in the industry.

The most important meeting he's had so far is for his official debut under NWGRND. Their CEO was thinking that he could try for a single first just to test the waters but when he told them that he actually had an EP in the works, everything seemed to fall into their proper place. He played what he had come up with so far and it was met with high praises. He was told that it was a perfect debut EP especially with how raw and unadulterated by the industry it was. It was the rightful introduction to Suga, the artist, and it was bound to make waves in the current music scene. 

Plans and deadlines then started to be set for marketing, album shoots, the MV, and literally everything under the sun that had to be done for an upcoming debut. If Yoongi had to be honest, a lot of it flew over his head but thankfully his manager was there to explain it to him. What mattered the most to Yoongi though was how bigshot producers and established personalities in the industry thought that the songs that he quite literally made in his living room were good enough for his debut album. Actually, not just good enough but perfect. They said it was perfect. 

He's still shaking in his chair but the giddiness he feels on the inside is something he's never felt before. It assures him that he made the right decisions, the bright lights of the stage and the cheers of the crowd for HIS music growing ever closer.

He doesn't attend his graduation because his debut is exactly two weeks after and there are too many preparations that must be done. Though his company said it was okay for him to go and they could just reschedule his activities for the day, he chose not to because time is of the essence. He's never been this nervous for something, focusing on one thing will ground him enough to face it with bravado.

8.

Two days before his debut showcase, Yoongi finds it hard to sleep. 

In the dark, he seeks out Seokjin's hand. The older groans in his sleep at his touch and he takes his hand back so as not to wake him but Seokjin catches it before he can.

The older blinks to half-awake, "Yoongi...? What's up?"

"It's nothing, hyung. Go back to sleep."

"Hmm? What about you? You've been awake this entire time?"

For a second, Yoongi thinks of lying so as not to bother Seokjin any more than he already has. But then Seokjin cups his cheek and brings his face closer to his.

"Aigoo, look at those eyebags," he clicks his tongue. "Your makeup team won't be too delighted with that. What's keeping you up, my Yoongichi? You know you can always tell hyungie anything, right?"

Yoongi feels his cheeks go slightly warm at the, uh, affection in Seokjin's choice of words but he blames it on the fact that his boyfriend is probably still half-asleep. Still, he allows himself cuddles, scooting closer to Seokjin and resting his head on the older's arm while pressing his face onto his chest. He feels Seokjin's arms wrap around him and his chin rest on the top of his head. 

After a while, Yoongi hears a light snore erupt from above him and can't help but smile to himself.

"I know you're asleep, hyung, but I also know that you're listening to me in your dreams so. I just want to tell you right now that I love you and thank you for putting up with me these past months. I know we haven't seen each other in a while but I know that you're always cheering for me. It's--it's still just so unreal to me, everything that's happened. And I guess I'm worried and nervous about the debut and the stage and if I mess up or trip on my way there or suddenly feel sick. I just--I don't know. 

“Everything is overwhelming right now and you know how I get when things get too much. But I'll be looking for you in the crowd, okay? Seeing you--" Yoongi takes a deep breath before continuing. "Seeing you would make everything okay. You make everything okay." 

Yoongi closes his eyes and before long, sleep gets ahold of him too. 

But what he doesn't know is that Seokjin hadn't been asleep and was listening ever so closely. The older presses his lips to Yoongi's head before whispering into the night, "I'll be there for you. I promise." 

Two days after, Yoongi's debut goes off without a hitch. He was anticipated, watched, and loved. Though he hadn't won anything on the first day, he did get first place on a different music show a couple of days after, a feat only a select few are lucky to get during debut. Now, he is one of them. 

His music video becomes viral, reaching into the millions in just a week. His follower count increases exponentially, even more than when he did the OST. He rakes in radio play as well as online streams. All-kill on the charts, and articles upon articles upon articles being written about the indie sensation turned digital monster. Time to him feels like it's been slowed down but at the same time is going at the speed of light he can't possibly catch up. But regardless of how it feels to him, time, as it always does, continues to pass. 

9.

Seokjin wakes up to the sunlight hitting his eyes. He slowly opens them despite the heaviness that tempts him to keep them closed. After an internal battle lasting about a good three minutes, he manages to free his eyes from the clutches of drowsiness and he lays on his side of the bed, blinking. In front of him, Yoongi's side remains empty and unslept in as it had been for the past two months. 

Though it's only been about half a year since Yoongi's debut, he's already gone on tour all over the country. It's honestly so amazing what Yoongi's been able to achieve in such a short amount of time, especially being a rookie. Seokjin is, naturally, extremely happy for him and more than proud of his boyfriend (and to BE his boyfriend, at that). But, also naturally, he terribly misses him and wishes he would just be back home already. 

Thankfully, he doesn't have to wait any longer because two days ago marked the tour's last day and, taking into account travel time, that means that Yoongi, his Yoongi, will finally be home tonight. That alone is enough to make this day a lot more special than it already is. 

"Don't you look especially chipper today, Seokjin-ah," his manager noona tells him when he walks through the practice room door.

"Today is a special day, noona. You know that."

She hums in response, flipping through her notes. "Did your Yoongichi tell you exactly when he'll be here?"

"Yup! Their flight arrives at 11 and he said he'll be at the apartment later tonight."

"But he didn't say what time?"

Seokjin puffs his cheeks before putting his hands on his hips in a defiant manner. "Noonnaaa."

His manager snorts, waving her hand in front of her face. 

"Aigoo I'm just teasing Seokjin-ah. Your schedule's been arranged since last week so you're free from this afternoon to the rest of the day."

Seokjin squints his eyes and crosses his arms. "You really shouldn't tease about things like that."

"But it's fun seeing you squirm." 

"You're a sadist, noona. A sadist."

"And proud of it."

Seokjin shakes his head in mock disgust before walking over to the corner of the room and starting on his stretches.

10.

Seokjin breezes through his morning dance practice and the rest of his activities, and just as his last meeting wraps up, the hour hand of the clock strikes 12 and he's bowing his way out the room faster than you can say 'Cinderella'. Except in his case, he's rushing to meet his prince instead of running away from him. Ahh that was super chessy but he can't help it because he's this close to seeing Yoongi again. Just a couple more hours. Just a couple more hours. 

Seokjin arrives at the apartment at a quarter to 1 and immediately gets to preparing. He has a full course dinner to finish before Yoongi arrives and he also has to fix himself before that to look, ah, presentable when welcoming Yoongi back. It's been two months, okay? He's more than deprived at this point.

6 pm arrives faster than he expected but he manages to complete his full course dinner on time with the pots and pans washed, dried, and put away. He heads straight to the shower to rid himself of the smell of food and by 7:30 is styling his hair and spritzing the perfume that Yoongi gave him. He smiles at his reflection in the mirror and feels the butterflies in his stomach start to buzz just at the thought of Yoongi stepping through their apartment door. God, he missed Yoongi so much. 

He blinks fast. He's not going to cry before Yoongi arrives. Nope. Keep it in, Seokjin.

8 pm arrives and he sends a message to Yoongi asking him if he's near the apartment yet. He also takes a selca because he fixed himself up quite well if he says so. He sends Yoongi the selca.

9 pm and his stomach starts to growl. The steak and pasta on the table look absolutely mouthwatering but he steels himself. He takes a picture of the food instead and sends them to Yoongi along with a question of where he is.

10 pm and he is actually really hungry. But the worry that has settled in his stomach keeps him from eating. He keeps refreshing his SNS feed but the only post about Yoongi is him arriving at the airport at 11 am that morning like he said. He tries to call but is transferred to voicemail.

11 pm and he's halfway through his steak and pasta. His phone is propped up on the table as he watches NWGRND's livestream of their homecoming/congratulatory party for the end of Suga's tour. He sees Yoongi come and go from the screen. He'd be lying if he didn't say his heart broke a little each time he did.

12 am and he's sitting on the living room couch with a glass of wine in his hand. He doesn't know why he decided to wait up for Yoongi when he'll probably be home around early morning.

1 am and his eyes start to close by themselves. He finished his wine thirty minutes ago. He gets a blanket to wrap around his shoulders. He sends Yoongi another text. He feels a single tear roll down from his eye.

2 am. ...

3 am. ...

4 am. ...

5 am. …

11.

Seokjin rouses awake to the sound of the front door opening. With the sky outside a stark dark blue, he checks his phone for the time and squints at the sudden brightness of the screen. He is able to make out 5:32am, however, when a voice calls out from somewhere to his right and his chest clenches the tiniest bit because he's only heard that voice for the past two months through a speaker.

"Hyung?" Yoongi calls to him again, though a little louder this time as he draws closer. "What are you doing here? I thought you said you were going to sleep."

Seokjin presses his lips together, the memory of his last text to Yoongi resurfacing upon the younger’s mention.

"I did."

"So you slept on the couch?" Yoongi raises his brows as he sets his bags on the floor.

"Yeah."

Yoongi clicks his tongue before shaking his head. Seokjin sees him come closer and any other time he would have let him. Any other time /he/ would have met him halfway. But he doesn't understand why Yoongi is acting like he didn't just come from tour and that they literally haven't seen each other in two whole months. 

He doesn't understand why Yoongi is so at ease when he obviously read Seokjin's texts from earlier that night. Why is he acting like he just came home from work like it was any other day? Why isn't he more affected by this?

Yoongi's hand brushes against his and the action causes him to jolt backwards like he'd just been burned.

Yoongi's forehead knits in confusion. "Hyung?"

"Where were you? Why were you late?"

"Hyung, wha--"

"You told me you were coming home in the evening but you never did." Seokjin's lips start to tremble at the sudden rush of emotions that envelop him. "I texted you multiple times but you never replied. I tried calling you but it went straight to voicemail. I got so worried that something might have happened to you, I kept refreshing my SNS feed for something, anything that could tell me where you were. Why, Yoongi? Why didn't you tell me you couldn't make it? Why did I have to find out where you were from somebody else? Why didn't you care enough to try?"

The lines on Yoongi's forehead deepens. "Didn't care enough? It wasn't my fault that I couldn't come home! The company planned a surprise party to commemorate the end of my tour. It's not like I could just say, 'Oh thank you. I really appreciate it but I need to get home 'cause my boyfriend is waiting for me.' Like, that's just selfish and insensitive on my part. It's not just me who worked my ass off on that tour. 

“There's manager hyung, the PDs, the hair and makeup team, the staff, the goddamn security! Just 'cause it's my name in bright lights doesn't mean I get to do whatever I want. There's more to all of this that's happening behind the scenes and it's not as easy as it looks. Not that you'll understand."

Seokjin scoffs. "Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?"

Yoongi clenches his jaw. "Being an artist is different from being a trainee. What you're going through isn't even half of mine. I actually have something at stake. I actually have a career." 

Seokjin stops for a moment, Yoongi's words punching him in the gut.

"Wow. So I guess having a career also makes you forget about the promises you made before you had it in the first place."

Frustration etches itself onto Yoongi's face as he shakes his head in bewilderment. 

"What promises are you talking about?!"

Seokjin frowns at Yoongi, the distance between the two of them suddenly expanding before his eyes.

"Exactly."

"Hyung, what?"

Seokjin abruptly stands from the couch, every fiber of his being telling him they want out. He makes a beeline for the front door.

"Hyung. Where are you going? Hyung!"

Yoongi tries to go after him but he turns back to the younger with as much hostility as he could muster just as he opens the door. Yoongi stops in his tracks a couple of feet away from him, like a deer caught in the headlights. 

"I'm sorry we're not all as famous as you are, Suga-sunbaenim," Seokjin declares sarcastically. "I'm not asking you to stop the world from turning for my sake. But a call or message would have been nice. Happy anniversary."

Seokjin slams the door closed, leaving Yoongi alone in their apartment as he realizes a little too late what promises he failed to keep. 

12.

Hyejung had just come from her morning coffee run when she passes by the practice room to find its lights turned on and someone already inside it. Which was weird because rarely do any of the company's trainees dare to use the practice rooms without their managers and outside their assigned schedules. Hyejung is always the first one to arrive before anyone else. Always. 

And this practice room has been booked for Seokjin for the entire month. With her reputation, people know better than to challenge her for matters that concern her client. 

Clenching her jaw and setting her shoulders back, she pushes open the door and prepares to wreak havoc on whoever dared to break into their practice room when she sees the person stretching in the corner and she stops in her tracks.

"Seokjin-ah?"

Seokjin flinches despite himself, apparently not noticing that she entered the room.

"Ah, noona, it's you," he greets her but she sees that his smile doesn't quite reach his--red-rimmed eyes? "Looks like I got here before you did hehe."

Hyejung could tell that he was trying for a teasing tone but it doesn't have the same bite to it. Something is wrong.

So she says carefully, "It looks like you did," walking over to the seating area opposite Seokjin. Placing her coffee and bag on the table, she takes out her tablet. "But what are you doing here so early? Your training today doesn't start for another hour."

"Ah," Seokjin ducks his head, seemingly avoiding her gaze. "Isn't it better for me to be early? I could get more things done."

Hyejung raises her eyebrows at that. "Any other time I'd commend you for putting your training first. But I know you, Seokjin-ah." 

She pauses, unsure whether she should just rip the elephant in the room like a band-aid. But she supposes that it would be very on-brand for her. And she never believed in sugarcoating anything anyway.

"What about Yoongi?"

At that, Seokjin visibly stiffens.

"What about him?" 

"He just came home, didn't he? You were very excited yesterday, if my memory serves me correctly. I'd like to believe that you wouldn't want to waste a single moment now that he's back. I was expecting you to be late today actually."

"Ah, is that so?" Seokjin says dully, still refusing to look at her. "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, noona. But you can't get rid of me that easily."

Confusion settles on Hyejung's forehead at Seokjin's answer. Having been his manager for years, this is the first time she's seen him so dejected. And that's saying a lot because the higher-ups at CME are notorious for making people feel inferior during evaluations. The price you pay for the best quality, they like to say. But Seokjin's faced them all and had never once let it get to him. Whatever happened between him and Yoongi must be really bad.

She walks over to him and crouches down so that she's facing him eye-to-eye before placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. He looks up in surprise at the contact.

"What happened, Seokjin-ah? What did he do to you?" she asks, giving his shoulder a light squeeze.

And just like that, Seokjin's eyes turn into waterfalls.

"You were right, noona. He never specified what time he'd go home. I'm so stupid. So, so stupid. I waited up for him but he never came. Not even a single text or call. He's my entire world, noona, but now I can't help but ask. What am I to him? What am I to him, noona?"

If Hyejung had to describe what raw pain sounded like, this would be it. Seokjin's voice was hoarse, unfiltered. And his words, they hold so much sorrow. It's as if he's mourning the loss of a part of himself he'll never get back ever again. 

Hyejung doesn't have an answer to his question so she just wraps him in a hug and rubs his back as she hushes his cries, the people who could be listening in outside the practice room be damned. 

13.

The silence of the apartment is deafening.

Its emptiness, a perfect representation of Yoongi's heart without Seokjin in it.

Seokjin who left.

Seokjin who he didn't run after.

Because he's a coward who forgets.

A coward who takes for granted what is important to him until it is too late.

14.

"We're sorry. The number you have dialed is now unattended. Please try your call later."

"You're still at it?" Yoongi's manager pops his head through the door of his home studio--which is really just the spare bedroom in the apartment that he and Seokjin never used--the smell of food wafting in from the two bags of takeout in his manager's hands. Yoongi's stomach instantly growls loudly, protesting its hunger against his stubbornness. 

Still, he refuses to let go of his phone, sliding his chair over to the table and re-dialling Seokjin's number for the nth time that day. His manager can only sigh as he takes the food out of the plastic bags, plopping himself on the couch while Yoongi digs in with gusto.

He watches Yoongi for a while, his arms crossed against his chest as Yoongi's phone rings incessantly through loudspeaker; the only sound permeating through the room aside from Yoongi eating. When the ringing stops as expected, the unattended message playing again like a broken record, his manager shakes his head.

"How long do you intend to keep this up Yoongi-ah? It's been--what? Ten? Eleven hours?" 

For his part, Yoongi continues unperturbed, dialling Seokjin's number again automatically as he takes a big bite of chicken almost desperately that his manager can't help but feel sympathy for how his client has become.

It isn't until the call gets disconnected once more and the cycle repeats that he speaks up again.

"Don't you think he doesn't want to talk to you is why he isn't answering your calls?"

"I can't stop now, hyungnim," Yoongi answers curtly, shaking his head. "I fucked up in the worst way possible. I need to let him know I'm sorry. I need to let him know I care."

It's Yoongi's manager's turn to shake his head. "And you think bombarding him with a thousand missed calls is the way to do that?"

"If it has to take a thousand more for just one call to push through, I'd do it."

His manager can only stare at him, a mixture of pity and disbelief crossing his features because his client can be so persistently stupid sometimes.

"We're sorry. The number you have dialed is now unattended. Please try your call later."

Before Yoongi can dial Seokjin's number again, his manager is quick to snatch his phone away, causing Yoongi to snap his head at him, eyes wide with shock and betrayal and a slight tinge of panic. The younger immediately attempts to get his phone back, shooting up from his chair and tackling his manager. But his manager stands his ground, keeping Yoongi's phone far away from his reach with one hand and holding Yoongi down with the other.

"Give it back to me, hyungnim!" Yoongi screams. "I need to keep calling him!"

"No, you do not!" his manager retorts. "Look at yourself, Yoongi-ah! He doesn't want anything to do with you right now. Just leave him alone!"

"I ALREADY DID THAT!" Yoongi's voice reverberates deafeningly throughout the room that, for a split second, everything stopped if only to recognize the pureness of the anguish with which his words cried out.

His manager stands still, Yoongi's voice ringing in his ears as the younger’s posture slackens just a little bit and he makes himself appear smaller, the burst of anger and frustration towards his manager only a show of bravado to cover the sadness and guilt that tightened around his heart.

"I already did that," Yoongi repeats in almost a whisper, his knees buckling in against his wishes. He drops back onto his chair, the fight in him dissipating into thin air as tears fall from his eyes one by one.

"I left him alone, hyungnim," Yoongi's voice breaks. "I can't do that again. I can't hurt him again." 

Yoongi's manager can only sigh as he takes in the state of his client. For the entire time that he's known Yoongi, he's always come across as a fighter. Silent but willing to do whatever it takes just to get to where he wants to be. Seeing him like this, vulnerable, fragile, to the point of literally breaking with the simple flick of a finger, he only feels sorry.

He tries to be as gentle as possible but Yoongi still jumps the moment his manager places his hands on the younger’s shoulder. His manager tries a small smile.

"You're not going to hurt him." 

"But--"

"You know, Yoongi-ah. When you know you've made an irreversible mistake, sometimes you have to learn to let go. Broken things have sharp edges and the more you keep them wrapped tightly around your hand, you'll eventually get hurt and they will stay broken. Nobody wins." 

"But... I don't want to let him go. Seokjin-hyung, he's--" Yoongi's bottom lip quivers. "He's all I had. I can't. Not after everything we've been through."

His manager clicks his tongue. "I'm not saying to let him go forever, Yoongi-ah. Just let him be for now. The fact of the matter is you've already hurt him. Don't keep rubbing salt in the wound hoping that it would heal. These things take time and you need to give him space. Life and love don't exist without sacrifices and compromise. It's just how it is. If you don't learn to back down, you might just find yourself having already lost him before you had the chance to look. It's painful but it's nothing short of a price to pay for the damage done. What do you think?"

Yoongi does not grace his manager with a reply but ultimately he knows that the older man is right. 

He looks longingly at his phone in his manager's hand before dropping his head to his chest and getting back to the takeout he started on. And if the chicken has become a lot soggier in the past few minutes, he only has himself to blame. Tears, he learns, don't dry themselves. 

15.

Seokjin's phone finally stops lighting up and turning off on the table at some point in the later afternoon. He only knows this because Hyejung-noona told him.

"I gotta hand it to him though." She juts her bottom lip out and raises both her eyebrows in a genuinely impressed manner. "Didn't think he'd try calling you for almost eleven hours straight but he did. He's either dumb or desperate. Or both. But I can respect the dedication. Ah, but don't fall for it, Seokjin-ah."

That draws out a fleeting quirk on the corner of Seokjin's lips.

"I think I've already fallen far too many times, noona. I'll just focus on getting up. Thanks."

Hyejung pauses and looks at him with an expression that's never really crossed her face before so he's not entirely sure what to make of it. But before he wraps his head around it, he gets wrapped in a very tight hug, Hyejung's chin hooking on his shoulder, which means she's on her tiptoes on top of wearing her 4-inch heels. He welcomes it gratefully.

"You sure you'll be okay, Seokjin-ah?"

"Yeah, noona. I'll be fine. I promise I won't do anything brash or stupid." 

"I know you won't but just remember, I'm one call away." She pulls away, giving him a reassuring smile before going back to manager mode.

"Your room has its own mini fridge and a microwave. There's a convenience store right across the building and you're free to buy anything from there with my card for the time being. There's a common laundry area at the ground floor and there are dryers but you can also choose to dry your clothes in your room if you don't want to wait.

“Common showers are also on the ground floor. I'll be going to your apartment tomorrow to get your things. Make sure you wrote down everything you need on the list you gave me 'cause I'm only going to go over there once. Your call time tomorrow is at the same time as usual but instead of at the practice room, wait for me outside Hyuk PD-nim's studio." 

At this, Seokjin raises one eyebrow up.

"The studio? Why? I'm not due for an evaluation 'til next week."

"You'll find out when we get there, Seokjin-ah. Just keep your vocals in mint condition which means no eating ice cream unfortunately."

Seokjin frowns at the sudden change in his schedule but lets it go. At least he has something to think about and distract himself with until tomorrow morning. He has a feeling that tonight will be another lonely night but at least he won't be disappointed by the end of it.

"Aaand--" Hyejung runs a finger down her phone's note app. "That's it for today. You're free to go. Turn off the speaker and the lights and meet me down at the parking lot so I can drive you to the dorm."

"Thanks a lot, noona. Really. And I'm sor--ow!"

Seokjin doesn't get to finish what he's saying, his manager pinching his side hard.

"Noona, why?!" He whines, looking down at his side and rubbing at the spot Hyejung attacked which is probably going to bruise.

"I told you to stop apologizing." Hyejung shakes her head. "I'm your manager. I take care of you. It's literally in my job description." 

Seokjin pouts. "So you're not doing this out of the genuine goodness of your heart?"

Hyejung rolls her eyes. "Of course not! Why would you even consider thinking I ever had one? It's not like I'd go out of my way to secure you a dorm room in such a short notice because your boyfriend is a selfish asshole who only thinks about himself. You must have mistaken me for Manager Park."

Seokjin can't help the snort that bubbles up to his nose because Hyejung-noona going along with his jab is priceless and he's just really thankful she is his manager. He really is.

"Thank you, noona. For everything."

"Alright, alright," she says with a wave. "Just turn off everything already. The traffic will continue getting worse if we don't leave now."

"Mn. Roger that." 

16.

The room that Seokjin is assigned is about the same size as the guest bedroom back at the apartment. But after Hyejung-noona bids him her goodbyes and repeated assurances that he can call her at anytime, it suddenly grows five times its size and threatens to swallow him whole. 

He plays music, watches youtube videos on his phone, stays at the convenience store for longer than is necessary just to ignore the unpleasant buzzing in his head that has his heart reaching for something he chose to stay far away from.

He doesn't get it. He's angry at Yoongi. He purposefully ignored his calls and did not block his number because he wanted Yoongi to know that he was angry. That he was hurt. That Yoongi can't get him back so easily. 

And yet his heart continues screaming "I love you"s and "I miss you"s and "I'm sorry"s and "I forgive you"s like it was what he should do. Because Yoongi has to love him back. Of course he does. They were best friends before they were a couple. They lived in the same neighborhood for a majority of their lives. Their parents are friends and spend holidays with each other. They had a bond that was stronger than the pull of gravity. They were unbreakable. Yoongi said they were unbreakable. He believed they were unbreakable.

But now, sitting on the street curb in front of his company's dorm in the dead of night, he realizes that calling them unbreakable was the idea of a fool. A fool who believed in illusions and thought they were magic. A fool who let himself be blinded by love because he didn't think he could love that strongly ever again. 

He loves Yoongi so much it scares him sometimes. Like, the love he feels in his heart will never be equal to the amount it can actually hold. It is constantly spilling, continuously overflowing, growing and growing until, finally, he is drowning in it. 

How did things turn out this way? Why hadn't anyone told him that love fades as much as it grows? They might have made their promises but they were too young. Too wrapped up in themselves to remember that people can forget even the most important things once it becomes a constant in their life. When you get used to something, you stop being grateful for it. When someone has taken care of you with their heart and soul, it's hard to imagine that they can hurt you. When someone has stayed in your life for so long, you won't believe there'll ever be a chance of them leaving you.

But, alas, he finds himself here. And Seokjin isn't sure what is worse. That Yoongi forgot his worth or that he forgot his.

The sky rumbles overhead and he thinks it's fitting that the it chooses to cry right then there. Maybe it's crying for how his and Yoongi's love story has become. If so, then it wouldn't be alone in that regard.

He lets out a bitter laugh. Ice cream would really be great right now. 

17.

Seonwoong is just about ready to tell Yoongi that taking a walk to clear your head meant strolling around the park outside his apartment and not the perimeter of the building when he opens the door and finds not his client but a woman standing in front of him with her arms 

crossed, an eyebrow up, and a big luggage bag beside her. He blinks a couple of times, pokes his head around the door to peer at both sides of the hallway, before standing back under the doorframe and mimicking her raised brow.

"Uh, can I help you?"

She clicks her tongue. "Is Min Yoongi around?"

Seonwoong's eyebrows switch from half a raise to furrowed. "He's not actually."

At that, the woman claps her hands together loudly once, making Seonwoong jump slightly.

"Perfect. That would make my job easier," she declares before proceeding to enter his client's apartment with the luggage bag in tow. Seonwoong moves in front of her just in time before she can get another heeled foot through the door.

"Hey, hey, hey! Hold on," he says, putting both his hands up at the woman. "Who the fuck are you, how do you know my client and why are you entering this apartment like you own the goddamn place? Are you a stalker? I'll have you know I have the police on speed dial."

The woman only looks back at him, unfazed and slightly irritated, before rolling her eyes and reaching for something in her pocket. She then hands him a holographic business card which, if you're in the industry you know, is a CME copyright, and he only blanches a little as he flips the card in his hand.

"Kang Hyejung. CME Senior Talent Manager. I am here to get the belongings of my client, Kim Seokjin, who is a tenant in this apartment room with his boyfriend--or should I say, ex-boyfriend, Min Yoongi.

“Mr. Kim has officially moved into our company dorms as of today and has provided me a list of his personal items which I am supposed to get in the space of one hour. And if you do not get out of my way right now, my nails are acrylic, very sharp, and I will, by all means, use them to poke holes into your beer belly which you should start sucking in now if you even want to begin to start looking like a decent manager from an established company."

Seonwoong instinctively puts a hand over his abdomen before hesitantly moving to the side and letting Hyejung in, muttering, "You could have just said you knew him through his boyfriend. And here I thought CME managers being mean was just an industry jab."

"We can be a lot worse, I assure you," Hyejung retorts without looking back, making a beeline for the master bedroom, the luggage bag right behind her. 

Seonwoong pokes his head back out to the hallway before closing the front door behind him. He sends Yoongi a short text to buy lunch for the both of them because he knows that if his client sees Hyejung in the apartment, it's not going to bode well for any single one of them. And honestly, he'd rather stay ten feet away from the CME manager from hell and not aggravate her or her long ass pointy nails any time soon. 

18.

At exactly fifty-five minutes after she entered the apartment, Hyejung finishes triple-checking the items in the luggage bag. Once she's sure she got everything Seokjin wrote on the list, she firmly shuts the bag and zips it closed. Standing up, she brushes her coat off before heading back out to the living room where Yoongi's manager is sitting, busily fiddling with something on a laptop.

Hyejung had hoped to not have any further interactions with this man but apparently NWGRND managers are a chatty bunch.

"So you're done getting his things?"

Hyejung resists the urge to flutter her eyelashes in annoyance. She instead decides to say, "Do you normally ask questions to answers you already know?"

Yoongi's manager puts both his hands up in resignation.

"Hey. I'm just trying to make conversation. No need to be so uptight about it." 

"Well, I'm not interested. So just go back to whatever it is you were doing and I'll be on my merry way."

Hyejung rolls her eyes before proceeding to the direction of the front door. Unfortunately, Yoongi's manager didn't seem to get the message.

"Yoongi doesn't really talk about his boyfriend at work. We know he has one and that they've been together since high school. But apart from that we barely know anything about him. What was his name again? Seokmin? Soobin--"

"Seokjin," Hyejung corrects, clenching her jaw. "His name is Kim Seokjin." She pauses after each syllable in Seokjin's name for emphasis.

"Look, Yoongi's manager--"

"Seonwoong," Yoongi's manager introduces himself with a smile. "My name is Lee Seonwoong."

"Okay, Lee Seonwoong, I cannot comprehend, for the life of me, why you're insisting on initiating small talk regarding our clients. I am in no obligation to talk about Mr. Kim to you nor to gossip about his relationship with your client. If you wanted to know more, you should have asked him. If he refused to say anything, then maybe his relationship was never that important for him to share to begin with. Now, I have more pressing matters to attend to. If you have anything more to say, I do not care and I will be taking my leave. Good day."

Hyejung doesn't wait for Seonwoong to reply. She whips her head back to the direction of the front door and starts pulling the luggage bag from behind her. She puts her heels on and is just about to reach for the door knob when the front door opens itself. 

And there, standing on the other side, is Min Yoongi clad in his usual black get-up, a cap on his head, a face mask under his chin, and looking worse for wear than Hyejung's ever seen him. In one hand, he holds a plastic bag of takeout which he drops out of surprise as his eyes widen and he utters breathlessly in an unbelieving tone, "Noona? What are you doing here?" 

From somewhere behind her, Hyejung hears shuffling and a couple of rapid footsteps before they stop abruptly and Seonwoong voices out the immediate thought in her head.

"Shit." 

19.

Yoongi has about a million questions popping in his head when he opens the door and finds Hyejung standing in front of him looking just as surprised as he is. Why was she in his apartment? How long had she been there? Was she just about to leave? Why hadn't Seonwoong texted him? 

Why does she have a trolley beside her? What could she have been doing? What about Seokjin? Is he here too? But he doesn't see any sign of the older. Is he okay? Where did he spend the night? Is he safe? Can he see him? He wants to see him so much. It's only been a day but it's like he's been gone forever. He just wants everything to go back to the way it was. He misses him. He misses Seokjin so much. 

He gets pulled away from his thoughts when Hyejung bends down like she is picking something up from the floor. He briefly wonders what it could be when she stands back up, approaches him, and presses the bag of takeout he accidentally dropped onto his hand. She doesn't look at him the entire time and he realizes that maybe Seokjin had talked to her about what had happened between the two of them. He closes his eyes and presses his lips together.

Everything just gets worse and worse. Why did he have to forget? Why did he only think about himself? 

Hyejung moves to get the trolley and she mutters a small, "If you'll excuse me" as she passes by Yoongi. She's just almost completely out of the apartment when she feels a tug on her sleeve.

 Turning around, she sees Yoongi looking at her, blinking away the tears that have started to form around his eyes.

"He's not going to come home, is he?" he asks, after a pause.

"No, he isn't," she answers curtly.

"Are those his things?" he motions to the luggage bag with his head.

"Yes. They are."

"I see." Yoongi looks down at the floor and bites his lips to keep them from trembling. He takes a deep breath before looking back up at Hyejung, his eyes sad and hollow.

"Noona, could you...could you please tell him that I love him?"

Hyejung gives Yoongi a once-over before sighing deeply and gently taking the younger’s hand off of her coat. 

"You should tell him yourself, Yoongi-ah," she answers firmly but softly. "Seokjin was--he was really hurt. And you need to be the one to fix that. Do you understand?"

Yoongi's face falls just a little bit but he nods nonetheless. Hyejung shakes her head before turning on her heel and walking down the hallway. She doesn't look back when she calls out, "Give him a week or two to process and think. He needs it. Actually, you both do."

And with that, she's gone. 

20.

Yoongi finds that letting go takes him a lot of patience and self-control, especially when all he wants to do is talk to Seokjin, be with Seokjin, and tell Seokjin that he's sorry and that he will never forget ever again. Because he loves him more than his body can bear. And being away from him is a lot worse than being subjected to torture.

However, he is painfully aware that he's the one who brought this upon himself. So instead he waits. He waits and he waits and he waits. The days pass by slowly, each one feeling more like an eternity than the last. 

But if there is anything he's more than sure of, it's that he'll wait for Seokjin for as long as he has to. Even if it takes him a million forevers, he'd gladly wait a million a more. 

21.

Seokjin's laughter rings through the room at around half past ten and Yoongi almost trips over his feet in his haste to reach his phone. It's been ten days since Hyejung came over to get Seokjin's things from the apartment and eleven since he and Seokjin had fought. His ringtone being the older's laughter is the first time since then that he's heard anything remotely from Seokjin and he's not sure whether to cry out of joy or laugh out of sheer relief. It's been so long--too long. 

So, he wastes no time in unlocking his phone and is greeted by (1) notification bubble on the icon for messages. He taps on it and his heart literally quickens its pace upon seeing the preview of the unread message under Seokjin's name. He takes a deep breath before saying a thousand grateful prayers to whatever god exists out there that made this possible. He taps on the message.

From: Jinnie-hyung🐹❤️

10:29am

We need to talk.

10:29am

Just the two of us.

10:30am

I'll head to the apartment around lunch.

To: Jinnie-hyung🐹❤️

10:31am

of course hyung! i'll be here

10:31am

i'll take care of food so don't worry about it 

To: Jinnie-hyung🐹❤️

10:37am

and hyung i just want you to know that im really REALLY sorry and thank you SO much for being with me

10:37am

always

10:38am

i love you to the stars and back and that love will continue to keep growing

10:38am

i'll never stop loving you hyung 

10:38am

i promise 

From: Jinnie-hyung🐹❤️

1:16pm

I'm outside the apartment. I don't have my card. 

22.

The beating of Yoongi's heart is synonymous to that of a large drum, booming and echoing loudly in his ears, beating in time to each step he takes closer to the front door. Closer to the man behind it.

He is nervous, first of all. His hands are clammy and his breath is coming out in short bursts. But he calms himself. Because he is also elated, overjoyed. Seokjin is finally coming home and he missed the older terribly. 

Constantly waking up to an empty bed and not knowing for how long it will remain empty was a big fat reminder of his mistakes. His broken promises. And he swore to himself that when he gets the chance, he will do all that he can to make things right. Because Seokjin deserved more than what he gave him that night. And Yoongi will never treat him like that ever again. That's a promise to himself that he will keep. 

Now, as he stands in front of the one thing keeping him and the love of his life apart, he checks his reflection on the mirror to his left before tousling his hair the way Seokjin likes it. Like a soft cat that's just woken up from a nap.

Reaching for the door, he takes a deep breath before turning the knob and pulling it open. And just as his text said, Seokjin is right in front of him, dressed for the weather in a thick navy blue coat and a black turtleneck sweater under it. His black hair is now a shade of light brown and Yoongi feels his breath get taken away, his jaw slackening because he knows that Seokjin is the most beautiful man on this planet but the change in hair color really threw him off for a moment there. He can do nothing but bear witness to the older's presence. He only gets pulled from this trance when 

Seokjin furrows his eyebrows and asks him, "Um...are you okay?"

"Oh! Uh, yeah, hyung. Sorry. I--uh--" Yoongi stammers but manages to step aside so that Seokjin can enter their shared apartment. He bites his tongue to make sure he isn't dreaming just as Seokjin passes in front of him and heads straight to the living room, a file folder in hand.

Yoongi follows suit after closing the front door and sits across from Seokjin, feeling a surge of butterflies start fluttering their wings furiously in his stomach. He takes a deep breath before motioning a hand towards Seokjin.

"It's nice to see you again, hyung. I--uh... I like your hair. It suits you."

(What the actual fuck are you saying, Yoongi? Get yourself together, man.)

Seokjin raises both eyebrows at that, moving to touch his hair before stopping and shaking his head, his hand dropping to his lap.

"Ah, thank you," Seokjin replies curtly.

An awkward pause settles between them and Yoongi berates himself for having caused it. This is honestly not how he imagined seeing Seokjin again would go. He had a whole-ass speech! He ordered Seokjin's favorite-- 

"Ah hyung! Are you hungry? I ordered something for us to--"

"I won't be here long, Yoongi," Seokjin interrupts him, one hand up and a pinched look on his face. The butterflies in Yoongi's stomach slowly come to a standstill. He carefully sits back down.

"What do you mean, hyung?" 

Seokjin doesn't look back at him. Instead, he places the file folder on the coffee table and lays out a couple of documents that look very much like the leasing contract of their building.

"I didn't come here to stay."

Seokjin pulls out something else from the file folder and places it right next to the documents. To anyone else, it looks just like an ordinary ballpoint pen. But to Yoongi, it looks exactly like a knife meant to carve out his heart, especially after hearing the next three words that come out of Seokjin's mouth.

"I'm leaving Korea." 

23.

“Wait–what?”

Yoongi feels like he’s been gutted. His stomach drops from fifty stories high and the butterflies fly away to save themselves, leaving quickly through an empty cavity that used to be his heart. Seokjin still isn’t looking at him. 

“I already talked to Mrs. Song.” The older picks up the pen and uses it to point at a couple of lines at the bottom of the documents. “You just need to sign here so the lease will be transferred to your name.”

Yoongi’s vision goes blurry and he doesn’t realize what he is doing until his ears register the clattering of the pen on the floor. Seokjin purses his lips before reaching down the side of the table to pick the pen up.

“Yoongi,” the older starts to say when Yoongi slams his fists on the coffee table, a stream of tears flowing from his eyes. 

“No!” He grits his teeth together, gaze centered on the lease contracts. “What do you mean you’re leaving the country? Where will you go? And why are you making me sign these like--like you’re not coming back?”

Seokjin picks up the pen and places it back on the table with a clack. He lets out a sigh before finally looking Yoongi back in the eyes, his expression so guarded that Yoongi can’t help but see a fissure open up between him and Seokjin, exactly where the coffee table used to be.

“I’m moving to America indefinitely as part of my training. Letting you own the lease would make it easier if you ever choose to move out.”

“Move out? Wh–why would I move out?”

“Well, the security in the building isn’t the best. It’s only a matter of time until your fanbase starts camping outside and stalking you.” 

The fissure in front of Yoongi grows bigger, swallowing the floorboards directly under his feet.

“Wait, hyung, stop. This isn’t–you’re not making any sense!”

“I’m not?” Seokjin scoffs, crossing his arms on his chest. “You and I both know that with fame comes threats in security and invasions of privacy. With how you’re rising in the industry, I hope it didn’t cloud your mind too much that you actually think you’re untouchable.”

The fissure spreads out to the seat on Yoongi’s right. He knows it’s only a matter of time before it swallows him whole too. So, he takes a leap of faith and jumps over the fissure to Seokjin’s side. He takes the older’s hands in his and squeezes tightly.

“I’m sorry, okay? I really am sorry, hyung. For not texting or calling you. For forgetting about our anniversary. For being such a shit boyfriend and saying things without thinking them through. I know that I broke a lot of things that night but I’ll do everything I can to fix them. Please, just don’t do this. Don’t leave Korea. Don’t transfer the lease to me. Please stay.” 

Seokjin looks him once over before shaking his head and pushing Yoongi’s hands away from his. “You still don’t get it, do you?”

The fissure starts shaking and Yoongi can only feel helpless at the sight of it. 

“You don’t get to talk to me like that. You don’t get to talk to anyone like that. You didn’t just hurt me, Yoongi. You took my heart out of my chest, threw it on the floor, and stomped on it. I did everything for you. Gave my entire life to let you live your dreams. I loved you more than I loved myself.”

Seokjin takes a deep breath, wiping the solitary tear that fell on his face swiftly with one hand.

“Do you remember that day that I got scouted by CME? I wasn’t sure if I should do it but you said that it was the opportunity of a lifetime and, if you had been in my place, you’d take it in a heartbeat. I told myself that I would do it because, for you, how can I not?”

The fissure stops rumbling for a moment as Yoongi blinks at what Seokjin just said. 

“But…but I said, you should only do it if you really wanted to.”

“I know you did. And that’s why this,” Seokjin motions to the two of them. “The two of us? It’s not going to work anymore.”

The fissure starts rumbling again and Yoongi scrambles to hold onto Seokjin, his heart beating faster than it’s ever done in his life.

“No. No, hyung. We can make this work. We have a bond stronger than anyone else. Anything that life throws at us, we can get over it. We’re unbreakable, remember?” 

Seokjin only stares at him before a sad smile makes its way to his face.

“We’re not in high school anymore, Yoongi. Those people, we stopped being them a long time ago. I lost myself in you and you–” Seokjin’s voice breaks and he blinks away a wave of tears before continuing. 

“You found a reason to live grander than anything I can give you. You’re in your element, Yoongi. Music is and always will be your first love and it was only a matter of time before it caught up to me. I was a fool for believing I can be first.” 

Seokjin stands up from the couch and starts walking in the direction of the front door, the fissure reacting to this action like a moth to a flame. All around Yoongi, the room starts shaking. Items fall and crash onto the floor and the fissure opens its mouth wider and wider. 

Yoongi runs after Seokjin. He reaches out one last time and wraps his fingers tightly around the older’s wrist. He then pulls Seokjin, turns him around, and hugs him tight.

“Please, hyung,” he begs, burrowing his head in the older’s chest. “Don’t go. I don’t know how I can live without you. You mean more to me than music ever will. Please. Let me prove it to you.”

Silence washes over them despite their entire apartment gradually falling apart in the background. Yoongi knows that the fissure is close. One small misstep could send him falling. 

That’s when Seokjin pulls away from him. The older starts to reach out a hand to cup Yoongi’s face but stops himself a couple of inches away. He drops his hand back to his side and shakes his head instead.

“I’m sorry. This is for the best. Good luck with everything, Yoongi. Goodbye.”

Yoongi can only watch as Seokjin walks away from him for the second time. And no matter how much he wants to run after him, he can’t. Because after Seokjin closes the door behind him, the entire apartment finally collapses into the fissure, sending him into a state of nothingness.

The last thing he hears before completely losing everything is his heart cracking straight down the middle.