Chapter Text
FINAL CHAPTER:
Writing lyrics was one of Changkyun's favorite kill-time. In the times his schedule didn't match any of his members' he would just grab a pen and his notebook and work on the projects he hasn't finished yet, or just open the notepad on his phone and write anything that came to his mind at the moment.
Some things he erased, others he threw to the nearest trash can without giving it a second chance. Some were never finished, some were totally forgotten. Some he shared with Hoseok or Jooheon to make a song out of it, some others were only read by Hyunwoo.
Changkyun was a quiet and secretive person by nature, just like his boyfriend. Communication had been an important factor from the moment they met, because neither of them opened to the other at first, nor shared their worries openly. But they understood each other in ways the others wouldn't completely understand.
Some things he wrote were inspired on situations going on around him, some only reflected his feelings and fears, or those from his members.
"Are you there?"
"I wasn't alone, and I think I was facing away from that fact."
"When I thought there was no one who could understand me, you were there to soothe my wound... The good and evil on my mind, occurred all because of you... I always want to be peaceful and free. With the love that will save me from this deep swamp..."
Screams.
"Changkyun!"
The rapper snapped out of his trance.
Then a sharp pain pierced his ear as cold fingers pressed the cartilage and skin just above his earring. "Why are you not ready?"
"Kihyunnie hyung!" he whined. "I was looking at Monbebe, they look about to cry with the VCR," there was a hint of amusement and proud in his voice. And it's here where a 2019 in white bold font appears in your mind because yes, we are now in Alligator era, time skip baby.
Kihyun sighed with frustration, "the noonas are looking for you; pelase don't get us in trouble so near from ending the tour Kkukkungie. Hyung!" The main vocalist called his leader's attention but didn't let go of his grip on the maknae's ear until Hyunwoo was holding Changkyun by the wrist. "Here, tell your fiance to go get ready before the next stage."
All Hyunwoo did was give the shortest a goofy smile as an answer, then proceeded to drag Changkyun down the hall ignoring his complaints.
"Do you really have to watch Monbebe reactions to the VCRs in every single city?"
"I do, as a matter of fact. My voice sounds so good in that kind of narration, you know?"
"I know," Hyunwoo pecked his lips before pushing him into the changing room. "Now go get ready."
It wasn't until they were back in the vans that Changkyun got to be by his boyfriend's side. They sat on the back seats and enjoyed each other's presence in a comfortable silence, their eyes and hands wondering about their engagement rings — this alone made Changkyun smile. The emotions and happiness Changkyun experienced when Hyunwoo asked him to marry him he could only compare to their first win.
It had been during Shoot Out era, Hyunwoo had been extremely occupied and stressed with their schedule having so many dates in American shows that the only thing Changkyun could actually do to help him take pressure off his shoulders was to practice English with all of their members so they wouldn't struggle as much and would actually participate in interviews.
Changkyun completely understood his boyfriend's snappy attitude and kept his distance when the older needed time alone, however, he couldn't help but feel a bit distanced. He focused on his own work and preoccupations. And whenever he felt down, his other five hyungs would cheer him up. It all went to the point in which Changkyun almost forgot they were actually dating, and was only reminded of it when Kihyun and Hoseok—as busy as they were— made time and hanged around like a normal couple would do.
Once they were back in Korea to rest and prepare for the release of Take Two: We Are Here Changkyun decided to have a serious conversation with the older. Hyunwoo looked very nervous when the youngest shared his concerns with him, he was avoiding Changkyun's gaze, playing with his own fingers and biting his lower lip.
The youngest was convinced Hyunwoo was going to break up with him at that moment — he didn't know Hyunwoo had the same fear since Kihyun asked him the previous week if they were still something, because Changkyun was again keeping his true feelings to himself. Even after about three years that they had been dating Hyunwoo felt like he didn't deserve Changkyun, and he had been nervous the younger would realize this too.
So, without telling anyone—which only worsened his uneasiness—, he planned to propose. His plan was completely forgotten when he finally met his boyfriend's gaze and found watery eyes throwing back a defeated look. "Changkyun.. please.. marry me?" And he pulled the little blue box out of his jacket pocket — he'd decided to keep it close in case one of the maknaes, or Kihyun, rummaged through his stuff.
In no longer than three seconds, Changkyun's heart and mind experienced a short circuit. He was about to ask if it was all a joke, but the sincerity and desperation he saw on Hyunwoo's eyes a second later after registering what the box in his hands meant was enough to bring him to tears. They were alone in Changkyun and Minhyuk's room, sitting on the floor and facing one another; so the maknae didn't suffer the consequences of his weakening legs, and instead pushed his upper body against Hyunwoo to crush him in a hug, which the other interpreted as a yes.
"I hate you, I love you, idiot."
Hyunwoo couldn't answer until Changkyun stopped kissing him and repeating how stupid Hyunwoo was for making him worry for nothing and how much he loved him. "I'm sorry.. I love you so much, I can't imagine living without you by my side.. even if marrying you would brought to me all the jealousy and hate of your stans I'd still stop being an idol for you."
"You're so cringey."
Even Hoseok had think it was too much when they told the members about their engagement and Changkyun shared the over romantic scenario Hyunwoo had painted to Changkyun, telling him how he wanted to propose on the day he was to leave for the military service as if they were in a World War Two American Movie.
Now, on their way to the hotel after yet another concert Changkyun was thinking on how would telling Monbebe about their relationship after years hiding it would be.
"Remember what we said when SM offered to debut you with Nu'Bility?" Hyunwoo knew him too well to let him let his mind wonder dangerous places alone.
"Hyung?"
"There's going to be mixed opinions and reactions. We only need our members, families and friends' support. It's almost 2020, things are changing, and I'm not going to not marry you just because of what other people expect from us. This is our lives we are talking about."
"You're so corny," Changkyun joked trying to conceal how affected he was by the older's words.
The first thing they did coming back to Korea and before having to prepare for the release of Follow was to tell their manager about their relationship, which of course gained them scolds and puzzled looks that were slowly replaced by resignation and support. Their contracts allowed them to date whomever they wanted as long as it didn't hurt the group or company's image, and seeing they'd dated for more than three years without problem was a relief for the directors. However, they couldn't get married for as long as the contract lasted, they'd have to wait for the renewal of it; which wasn't a problem for Hyunwoo and Changkyun, since they were planning on getting married only once they both had completed their military service.
The next ones to hear about this was their staff, they were trustworthy and pretty close to the boys, so of course they were happy, some noonas assuring they already knew or suspected of their relationship. All of them were also asked to keep their relationship a secret until after the release of their first English album which was due to February the next year.
It was only then that they felt ready to tell their close family about their engagement, both families gave them an amazingly positive support, which encouraged them to share the news with their closest friends and the rest of the groups' families, except Hyungwon's. They planned to let them know once the news were out on social media.
"You look ugly, mom."
"Thanks, Changkyun," Kihyun sighed taking the seat on the couch next to the maknae.
"You're sad. What is it?"
The older shook his head resting importance to the matter."
"I messed up again."
"You want some advise? You've come to the right person, hyung."
"Hell no, I just want some peace."
"Did you say something you shouldn't have? It wouldn't surprise me."
Kihyun sighed yet again and nodded his head. "I pressured Seok to talk about something that happened to him on the past, now he's mad at me."
"Should I go talk to him? He could never be mad at me."
"You sure know how to comfort someone. Don't worry, we all know he can't spend more than 24 hours mad at me, I just need to cook something delicious for him."
"You sure are in a healthy relationship, hyung."
"What about you, baby? Where's Hyunwoo?"
Changkyun rolled his eyes and dropped his game controller at being reminded of his situation. "Doing fan service as usual.. I know it gives us more recognition and it's good for our and Starship's economy and all that shit but I can't stand the idea of him having to spend all his free time with Monbebe including the bitches who still suspect of our relationship. Little do they know, though!" he scoffed.
"You two sound like old sour women who are in desperate need of spending your husband's money in your husband-less-best-friend."
Changkyun laughed and Kihyun groaned at Minhyuk's weird way of asking them to go shopping with him.
"Is Jooheony hyung coming?"
"Nah, he's boring and ditched me to go work on some songs for the English album. Hyungwonnie is coming, are you joining us then?"
"Sure," Changkyun dragged Kihyun against his will and they tagged along the visuals. Their schedules weren't as heavy or busy as the other members' so they needed to take advantage of that precious free time and do whatever they couldn't when working. Changkyun had been working out a lot lately, and he needed some new workout clothing; he also wanted to get some to give Hyunwoo so they could go together like before.
"How do I look?" Hyungwon was trying on some expensive slacks and asking Changkyun for his opinion.
Living and working together, it was only a matter of time for Changkyun and the oldest maknae—or youngest hyung as Hyungwon considered himself before deciding he was just gonna be the only member of the in-the-middle line— to become close friends.
"You are not a model for nothing, why are you asking me if Minhyuk is the one with style here besides you?"
"Because you like men. And I want to know if I look good as a man and not just as a model."
"That doesn't even make sense. And I only have eyes for Hyunwoo hyung."
Hyungwon sighed rolling his eyes and turned his head towards Kihyun who had been ignored all along. "I really don't want to ask you, but you also like men. What do you think?"
"Thanks?" Kihyun huffed. "The black ones looked better," he unconsciously tilted his head, "your legs look way better and- no, forget I said anything. Stop smiling you creep."
"You look sexier," Minhyuk supported Kihyun's idea with a thumbs up. This, however, didn't stop the upcoming Tom & Jerry discussion.
"Hyung," Changkyun called Minhyuk's attention. "I'm gonna go get something from the Sports store next door, can you call me if you leave this store?"
"We'll come look for you once we are done."
"Thanks."
The maknae wasted no time and began his personal shopping. He both hated and loved how cheesy he had become over the time by dating Son Hyunwoo. He got matching gym shoes and sweatshirts, beside some other articles.
The problem came when he went to pay them and he was met with a familiar face behind the counter. He recognized her, but she didn't need to know that. Her face lit up and her eyes were lost for a few seconds, but she immediately went back to professionalism.
It was one of the girls that had warned Hyunwoo about how bad it'd be for them if people believed they were in a relationship within the group. Changkyun only hoped she didn't relate that to the clothing he was buying; after all, they had been followed from the gym that time.
"Are you done?"
Changkyun looked to his right and found Hyungwon resting against the counter by him. The girl being extremely attentive to their every move and words.
"Almost."
Changkyun considered pretend the matching outfit was for Hyungwon and Kihyun, which could be thought of as a lost dare, but there was no reason to give explanations.
So before she could do or say anything else the maknae dragged the visual out of the store, almost bumping into his other two hyungs. Kihyun held him in place by the shoulders.
"What's the rush? I want to see some sweat pants since Hoseokkie wants to force me into going to the gym with him."
"One of the girls who wants to make a scandal on Hyunwoo and me works here."
"You know there's no way she'll know until its announced, right? I don't understand the problem."
"I got us matching outfits," there was embarrassment in his voice.
"Gosh, come here baby, you're officially becoming one with our weird leader," Minhyuk tried to hug the rapper.
Changkyun pushed him away with a pout. "The day the news are revealed, and she can't do anything about it, I'm gonna be here and expect her friends are here too and I'll watch their reactions and it will give me ten years more of life. But for now, it only brings stressful memories."
"I should be concerned but rather I'm happy at your statement. Let's go," Kihyun wrapped his right arm around the shorter's waist and stayed that way until they were back at the dorms. Their relationship had only strengthen over the years, it was more of a best-friends-sort-of-brothers relationship rather than the mother-son thing they had during the early years after debut; they attributed this to both being in romantic relationships with older men. They were a support to each other rather than a responsibility.
The first thing they saw as they entered the living room was a huge bunny with cute eyes waiting for them.
And next to him, a lot smaller stuffed bunny. Hoseok offered the stuffed animal to his boyfriend not caring for their members' reactions. Said members scattered away as fast as their legs granted them to avoid witnessing Hoseok and Kihyun making up — and most probably making out.
Changkyun and Minhyuk entered their room—despite the relationships going on in the dorms they had decided to keep their sleeping arrangements as before—, and once the maknae finished putting his new acquisitions away he walked to Hyunwoo's room to leave the matching outfits there. He was not expecting to see the leader already there.
"Hyung!"
"You're back," Hyunwoo greeted with a goofy smile.
Changkyun made one of his signature weird faces showing off his double chin before approaching his fiance. "Didn't know you'd be coming home early. You should have told me."
"I came right before you, the event was cancelled and I forgot my phone here so I couldn't notify you," he secured his long and strong arms around the rapper's hips, then pouted until Changkyun had pecked his lips. "What's in the bag?"
The shorter felt his face getting red and huffed, not understanding how or why he would still feel like this after so long dating Hyunwoo. "I.. I bought some gym clothes. It's a matching outfit."
Hyunwoo laughed a bit and pulled the boy closer. "As long as it doesn't make us look like a pair of cabbages or caterpillars I'll wear whatever you're wearing."
Changkyun laughed at the memory of their Monsta X-ray outfits and shook his head. "Why not tho? You could be the cabbage and I'd be your caterpillar?" He discarded the shopping bag on the floor beside the bed and proceeded to sit himself in the vocalist's lap. "You don't have schedule until tomorrow afternoon, can I sleep here tonight?"
"Kihyun will kill us."
"He's very busy with Hoseok right now.."
Hyunwoo pretended to think about it, earning a hit on the shoulder. "Hey! If you're gonna be hitting me you better stop working on your arms and back."
"I can't be slim and weak as I was during NO.Mercy."
Some years ago, Hyunwoo would have felt a pang trough his heart and stomach at the mention of their dark past. At how defenseless and alone the youngest had been and felt. But they were already over it, even joking about it once the seven of them had sat down and talk it out until they were sure it didn't affect Changkyun the way it did back then. They had grown up and matured so well, they blindly trusted and love each other, all seven of them. They forgave, and forgot the bad sides of their history together. They learnt to live with it and accept the past to use it as an experience to enrich their present and future. They loved each other so much, nothing and no one could ever tear them apart.
"You're as strong and loving as Hoseok. As strong and caring as Kihyun. As reliable and gentle as Hyungwon. As tough and charming as Jooheon. And as cheerful and mature as Minhyuk. And I could keep going, describe you with all the adjectives you deserve, in all languages available in this earth. But I would never be able to finish expressing how important you are for me, how much I love you, and how you're the someone i can't live without."
"Hyung.." he whined.
"Maknae.." he copied.