Chapter Text
“Dude...what are you even talking about?”
Kaminari was dumbfounded, but how? It had to be Jiro...she had to have sent that video… Who else could have done it? Was all of his pretend-conspiracy-theory work for nothing?
“I...uh....You didn’t send Midoriya a TikTok, did you?” The spongebob enthusiast e-boy sputtered, taken aback by this sudden revelation.
Jiro sighed. “No, I did not, and I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The Kaminari-anti™ rubbed her eyes, “I’m too tired for this…” she muttered under her breath.
Well...now what?
I mean, there’s no way it could be anyone else…
“Jiro, can I see your phone?” He asked, imitating a smart person. The other sighed once again, “Sure, knock yourself out.” and handed him the phone. Yes!! Now he could prove that it was…
“Huh?” She didn’t even have TikTok on her phone? How, why? Was that even possible?
The phone was then promptly thrown onto the floor, by Kaminari of course, in a fit of rage. “Dangit, Jiro!” He yelled, “Why did you have to be innocent?” this was outrageous! How many plot twists were going to have to happen before this was all over? (More than you think, most likely.)
She blinked, “I, what now?” this was getting a bit too stupid, even for Kaminari.
“Well- uh- you see there was this POV that I-”
Ping!
A message?
Sexyhot69: “Hey there !! click here for FREE nakeds!! Hot sexy ;)”
When he saw that, he just about burst into tears. That was his very first thirst DM, he was a real e-boy now. “J...Jiro….I’m an e-boy now…” He sniffled, wiping his tears on the sleeve of his Spongebob t-shirt.
Jiro sighed for the 7th time in a row, exasperated by his constant idiocy. “What’d you get, a thirst DM?”
“Yes!! I’m so happy…” He was humbled by the experience, well not really, if anything it inflated his ego ten-fold.
She groaned, when would these endless memes end? “Oh, what, are you gonna write them back?” The tired e-boy hater jokes, hoping to every known god that he wouldn’t.
He thought for a moment, deeply considering this idea. “Well...I am bi flex ual, attracted to men, women, and the bag, so…Can’t go wrong, am I right?” Jiro was so done. What did that even mean? I swear to god, if these memes don’t stop then...
“Jiro, you’ll never believe it! I just won a free xbox!! And a nude! I have to send it, though...” Kaminari was practically bouncing off the walls in excitement, and typing something hastily on his bruh-themed phone keyboard. (Which yes, is just all the keys replaced with the word “bruh”. It’s not practical, but it gets the job done!) “Yes, yes, yes!!!” He exclaimed, “I sent a picture of a hairless cat as a nude and it worked!” whilst in the midst of this absolutely idiotic e-boy jumping up in down in sheer awe, Jiro slid quietly back into her room. Good for her, good for her.
It’s not like Kaminari noticed, though.
He had completely forgotten his original goal of finding out who sent that message at this point, I mean, how could you not, though? A free xbox...and all it takes is a picture of a hairless cat off of Bing images? (Not Google, that’d be too mainstream for someone like Kaminari.)
Ping!
Yes, another message! Maybe this is the one where they tell him how to get the xbox…?
Sexyhot69: “Hillo, Peepee_420! Thank you for naked image. Please enter card credit infromati on! Below for free xbox today :”
Ah, that makes sense. I mean, how else would he pay for the free xbox?
Kaminari sat down on the floor to concentrate on his very important goal, not worrying too much about the fact that, like, everyone, could see that he was frothing at the mouth in the middle of the floor over an xbox.
After entering his information, he kicked back on the floor, somehow, confident in his abilities not to get scammed on TikTok. What could go wrong? (Basically everything, if we’re being honest with ourselves…)
Once a few moments of silence had passed, the yellow haired e-boy was beginning to get anxious. He picked up his phone and… Oh my god. Had he been hacked?
This...was not good.
“SPARKY, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ACCOUNT YOU-” There was a loud crash in the distance, “DIE!!!!!” that was Bakugo, alright!
Kaminari shuddered, he had to get out of here before Bakugo could somehow locate him like a rabid animal. The entire account had been replaced with videos of other people doing renegade, but this time with the CGI text “CLICK FOR NAKEDS!” superimposed on top of it. So...not all that different from Bakugo’s regular TikTok schedule.
In a hurry, the tragically stupid e-boy turned around to tell Jiro about this tragedy, but was in shock to see that she had vanished. Oh my god...What had happened to her?!
He stood up in a cold sweat, his Spongebob shirt absolutely drenched.
This was VERY, very, not good. Wait...the person had his credit card information too...was there really no free xbox?
Kaminari then took off in a random direction, headed towards who knows where, just needing to escape from this downward spiral of TikTok drama.
At some point, he hit a dead end, though. He was now outside of the dorms, outside of UA even, wait, since when was UA on lockdown?
What was even going on at this point?? So many questions, yet such a stupid e-boy.
He stood there in a bizarre mix of fear and accomplishment, I mean, this would probably go down in history as an extremely important e-boy event, right? If not, that’d be a real shame.
“Hey, Kaminari, get inside, there’s been a breach, we think!” Someone said from behind him, Kaminari turned around, oh, it was Aizawa. Wait… Breach?! “All the work computers and phones have been infected with some sort of virus, we think the League of Villains may be the cause…” The teacher said, he looked tired. Not in an e-boy “aha, hey gurl i do be kinda quirky doe aha i like to sleep uwu'' way, more in a “Please just end my life” kind of way.
He nodded in response, despite disagreeing with everything Aizawa had just said.
This was bad, to say the absolute least controversial statement possible.
__
“So...upon further investigation it appears that the account that had sent-” He sighed deeply, disappointed in his class, “-Peepee_420 the scam message had once belonged to Minoru Mineta.” It had been around 12 hours since the initial hacking of the TikTok account Peepee_420, and it hadn’t been pretty.
A lot had occurred since then, as well. All Might had even showed up to lecture 1-A on something called...In-ter..net safe-ti? Whatever that was, Kaminari was not interested.
Aizawa continued his report of what had been found since they began investigating this whole ordeal, “And after a brief interrogation period, it turns out that Mineta had been bribed by the League of Villains with some sort of toe images to do their bidding, and thus fooled Kaminari into sending...images of sphynx cats and his credit card number.” he finished, clearly exasperated. The guy had probably only gotten 23 hours of sleep today...that’s not enough, dude.
Kaminari stiffened. So there really was no xbox…
“If that’s not bad enough , it also turns out that the account had belonged to both Kaminari, and Bakugo...and there had been of drama going around about this, am I correct?” Aizawa was almost at his limit, this was clearly more excitement than any villain he had ever dealt with, and he was having absolutely none of it.
The ex-e-boy (He needed a break from Da Epic Fame™, y’know?) shook his head yes rigidly, very intimidated by all these sudden “repercussions” for his “reckless actions”. What was up with that??
The amount of sighs coming from their teacher at this point could probably count as wind, “At the moment, Mineta is still being interrogated, but it appears he had nothing to do with this drama, however…” Yet another sigh, is this man okay!?! “It also seems the Peepee_420 account was targeted due to the sheer, well, uh, naivete, of the owners of the account.”
Oh my god. The League of Villains took Kaminari for an idiot!?
I mean, true, but come on man!
Bakugo is the designated moron in the business relationship that is the Peepee_420 pact! (It’s less of a pact really, more of a begrudging agreement.)
“So what I’m asking you all is-” Aizawa began, but was unable to finish his sentence due to Uraraka cutting him off.
“I did it, I sent the TikTok!!” She exclaimed in tears, discernibly very distressed by the whole situation, and overrun with guilt.
Kaminari just about had a panic attack on the spot, come on man, that was like, barely foreshadowed. “WHAT!?!” he lunged out of his seat, now standing in a very awkward manner that honestly made him look like he was about to explode. (Not unlike a certain boom boom explode quirk boy!)
Aizawa blinked. “The what now.”